Dear All Caps,
I have not a damn clue anymore on what I have gotten myself into. He will do his Best to push every button I have by his frustrating attitude. Then act all calm and aloof when I finally react.. We have been having major problems because even though I have adjusted so much to accommodate the fact that he wants every damn girl on the planet, but only has me type deal. His ex is always in his business, and he welcomes it! It has driven off the deep end!! Then their is the other chicks that have been trying to tempt him, and wishes with all their might that we will break up.. While he's sitting there not giving a crap about any of this. Since ive been trippen it has caused him to want to break up with me at least 3 times.. Doesn't help that he lets me know how he WANTS to fuck other girls but he respects me enough not to!! And how many girls want him.. Yadda yadda
1 of those 3 being yesterday.. I tripped on Monday about his ex wanting to go see his parents.. And him encouraging her. I don't understand why it's such a big deal to keep her around! Anyway he ignored me for 2 days after that for the first time.. The 3rd night I didn't have any of it.. So I txt him letting him know I was dropping by.. He said "ok". So when I got there BAM all he'll broke loose cause he wanted to break it off then the worse emo scared side stepped up which made it worse!! *sigh* gad!! Then when I decided that he was stupid I stopped trying to care and excepted it.. RIGHT WHEN I DID THAT. Like the INSTANT I did. He started to talk about us again.. And I freaking knew he wanted me to convince him to stay..well.. I did!
We have yet to officially break up..but now I'm on high alert and totally freaked out. In your opinion.. What advice would you give for me in this situation to ease off tension and move forward from this?
I'm totally at a lost about how to deal with myself with him now.. Also doesn't help he knows I'm a damn good talker when I chose to be.. So I know he is on high alert too cause hes not comfortable knowin I was able to change his mind from "FOR SURE BREAKUP" to "Oh, damn maybe I shouldnt do it".
If anyone could help me understand the situation I'm in now with him.. That would be awesome.. Oh yah, and he says age has been a huge factor too. Fml. I never asked to be born when I was born. *sigh*
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Aug 31, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
All that fire in your chart and you are a cusp baby Scorpio/Sagitarius. I bet you are exciting LOL!
I don't know if I have much to offer you but what I will say is if a man is AFRAID of losing you he will never do anything to jeopardize losing you.
His behavior is saying a lot about how he feels, he most likely feels smothered by your energy and need you to back off and allow him to be an INDIVIDUAL and make his own choices without you interfering, I'm not saying you can't say how you feel about his behavior, if he upsets you, if your not happy he should know it but not be nagged to death about it either but inevitably it's his choice to have his ex around, it's his choice to be a player with self imposed limitations set by himself.
But the reality is...You got him! He's yours and all the jealousy you display comes off as controlling and insecure, displaying heavy doses of jealousy can turn a man off, make him feel as if you want to control him, control his life by controlling his decisions/choices and man no matter the sign will REBEL and bolt/break up.
Sometimes a man will act out just to see how much you care about him and your reaction also can allow him to see how much control he has over you and sometimes depending on the level of maturity of the man he'll exploit that side of the relationship and do any and everything he can to tick you off. Why? The validation he receives from you that he is important FEELS GOOD.
Try not to expose so many of your emotions about his decisions about his life and his choices, YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULDN'T DEPEND ON WHAT HE'S DOING AND WHAT HE'S SAYING, try not to behave in a way that makes you appear codependent, it'll be hard but allow him to make his own choices without you displaying how displeased you are and if you can, stop focusing so intently on him and his life, try to shift attention back to were it belongs, ON YOU, put it back on yourself and go do something else besides revolving your thoughts around him and his choices, you have a life of your own to tend to and develop.
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Aug 31, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
If he's going to cheat or be around a bunch of women which includes his ex well there isn't much you can do to stop that but what his behavior can tell you is how much he cares about you, if he's doing things to intentionally upset you and potentially lose you then he doesn't want to be with you as badly as maybe you thought he did, harsh reality but men that are in love will do things to KEEP his relationship not lose it.
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Aug 31, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Meant to say All that fire and water in your chart and you are a cusp baby Scorpio/Sagitarius. I bet you are exciting LOL!
Haha definitely makes life interesting =P
Thanks a lot for your Straight up insight.. I really needed that.. I feel stupid cause hearing it from you seems like I should have already known a long time ago to do these things.. But I ended up Getting caught up in the drama of it.. I drf. Need to focus on myself for sure.. It's hard some times though.. The only thing i cant make of it is that he is tryig to get me to summit to him and all that he is.. While also admiring everything about him.. Which is hard for me saying I havnt been given any reason why I should. Battle of wills I tell yah! Cause he also trys to control what I think and do about things.. Which makes me rebel as well.. Sounds like a vicious circle that I need to not continue..
It's Hard to tell his maturity level cause sometimes he has an act of maturity, but makes decisions that seems like something a boy would do.
But I will definitely start off by not tripping with these things.. Can't waste my tears on this anymore.