Therapy

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by RedCoat on Monday, December 2, 2013 and has 40 replies.
Let's play a game.
Each poster will appoint a doctor and a patient, then select a topic of evaluation for them to discuss.
Try and keep it funny and not malicious.
Anyone want to go first?
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For this to really be fun I think treatments need to be suggested for the concerns being evaluated.
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Example:
Doctor: MissFisk
Patient: Lucriu
Topic: night terrors
Step 1: Lucriu explains his topic (pertaining to himself, be creative), in this case night terrors.
Step 2: MissFisk provides her medical opinion.
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Posted by StoicGoat
For this to really be fun I think treatments need to be suggested for the concerns being evaluated.


Of course!
What is a medical title without the power of prescription?
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Doctor: Capinc
Patient: Clueless Cancer
Topic: Relationships
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Oh the anticipation...
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Lol this should be fun CC where r u
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Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Doctor: Capinc
Patient: Clueless Cancer
Topic: Relationships



This should be awsome 0.0
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Queue 'em up, it looks like we're waiting on a main event with this one.
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Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Doctor: Capinc
Patient: Clueless Cancer
Topic: Relationships


LOL
I will have to stay tuned for this one!!!
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Posted by lildol
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Doctor: Capinc
Patient: Clueless Cancer
Topic: Relationships


LOL
I will have to stay tuned for this one!!!
click to expand


I have this funny feeling I'm not catching any fish on this one. Sad
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Not at all, Mel. Jump right in smile
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Doctor: PVAF
Patient: MellyMel
Topic: inappropriate office behavior
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Posted by MissFisk
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Doctor: Capinc
Patient: Clueless Cancer
Topic: Relationships


why are you trying to stir up trouble, hm...?
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Because I can?
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Dr. PVAF, I was just wondering...when you're treating Mel...could you make a point to only work on the boring parts and spare the funny ones? I'm just afraid you might turn to some broad-spectrum treatment like PieCake 10/20mg and inadvertently make her, well, boring. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I really think she'd benefit from a mohawk.
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Posted by MissFisk
heyyyyy!


Heyyyy
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lol...
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DR: P ANGLE {AKA THE RAT}
PATIEANT C.C.
TOPIC LOVE AND KINDNESS
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by PVAF
Posted by CluelessCancer
PVAF lmao. you slay me. kudos.


You next. Winking Capinc, get on it!


Ahh no thanks. I'm not playing.
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Of course not!
#dud
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Hello Miss Fisk, please align with the stirrups and we will begin.
Sorry, but the instruments will be cold.
Nitrous oxide?
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Lol
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dr. q
patient cowdung
ass probes
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patent afternoon delight22
dr. AQUA CAPGRIL69 TRUECAP
TOPIC RESEARCH
CAN A MAN WITH NO BALLS
DISRUPT LONG TERM SEX DRIVE?
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Posted by james tate
patent afternoon delight22
dr. AQUA CAPGRIL69 TRUECAP
TOPIC RESEARCH
CAN A MAN WITH NO BALLS
DISRUPT LONG TERM SEX DRIVE?


We'll just have to set him up with a woman that has her own set of cajones!
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Posted by truecap
Posted by james tate
patent afternoon delight22
dr. AQUA CAPGRIL69 TRUECAP
TOPIC RESEARCH
CAN A MAN WITH NO BALLS
DISRUPT LONG TERM SEX DRIVE?


We'll just have to set him up with a woman that has her own set of cajones!
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Winking
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Posted by MissFisk
So, Doc. As I'm sitting here eating my cereal, I'm kind of pissed I can't drink coffee at the moment since putting caffeine in my body would send surges of debilitating cramps into lower abdomen that would radiate to my lower back. I've never experienced this years back. These symptoms just started happening maybe 3 years ago? Getting older as woman sucks.
I see men walking past my desk, to-and-fro, and they are oblivious to my pain and suffering from caffeine withdrawal and the fact that my uterus is shedding it's inner lining. They don't know, and they will never know this pain. Can you imagine child birth? And you know what? This angers me. Now all I want to do is break one of the legs off the coffee table in the break room and crack some human with a penis over the skull with it. And scream, "DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A UTERUS AND OVARIES AND TO PUSH A WATERMELON OUT OF A HOLE THE SIZE OF A CLEMENTINE!! (I love clementine, btw. They're not as grand as grapefruits and arrogant as oranges. They're dainty, sweet and easy to peel)." And dig my knee into his stomach to let him feel what it would be like if I was to have a cup of coffee with 2% milk and 2 packets of Splenda.



MissFisk,
You are right in all of your anger. Pain is, after all, the man's fault; it's science. I recommend 20 death stares a day, preferably not generic...we aim to melt their penises right off of their pelvis' with this prescription and going the cheap route simply will not suffice.
Have you tried showing these men pictures of a shedding uterus? I recommend during lunch break, as to no disturb the work schedule. What are men without work, am I right? We don't want to take that away, that's a punishment for far greater crimes, like not calling back quick enough.
Breaking the table leg could harm you, and we aim to heal. Maybe you could throw scalding hot coffee (with 2% milk and 2 packets of Splenda, of course...a girl's gotta have her routines) on one of these said men. Also, please follow this with "you know what you did" with no further explanation. He will know, even if he pretends not to. It's a process for these beings, and we unfortunately have to hold their hands through it.
I empathize heavily with you during this tough time. The male species can be so inconsiderate and demeaning. How dare they.

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Posted by cowpuncher
Posted by MissFisk
So, Doc. As I'm sitting here eating my cereal, I'm kind of pissed I can't drink coffee at the moment since putting caffeine in my body would send surges of debilitating cramps into lower abdomen that would radiate to my lower back. I've never experienced this years back. These symptoms just started happening maybe 3 years ago? Getting older as woman sucks.
I see men walking past my desk, to-and-fro, and they are oblivious to my pain and suffering from caffeine withdrawal and the fact that my uterus is shedding it's inner lining. They don't know, and they will never know this pain. Can you imagine child birth? And you know what? This angers me. Now all I want to do is break one of the legs off the coffee table in the break room and crack some human with a penis over the skull with it. And scream, "DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE A UTERUS AND OVARIES AND TO PUSH A WATERMELON OUT OF A HOLE THE SIZE OF A CLEMENTINE!! (I love clementine, btw. They're not as grand as grapefruits and arrogant as oranges. They're dainty, sweet and easy to peel)." And dig my knee into his stomach to let him feel what it would be like if I was to have a cup of coffee with 2% milk and 2 packets of Splenda.



Dr. CP here. I couldn't help but notice your own physician is neglecting you, despite your suffering. I am sure she is busy with other patients. In the meantime, here is a cup of hot coacoa made from Belgian chocolate, with about two fingers of malibu coconut rum added to the big mug of cocoa. That should tide you over for a bit.
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Thank you Dr.
I was in a local Costco giving free medical advice to the incoherent...it's a program through Doctors Without Boarders. I know...you don't have to say it, I'm a saint.
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I agree, Dr. Koisies, that woman wears her red days very well.
I would spoon her, ratty underwear and all.
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Posted by cowpuncher
Dr. Redcoat, you forgot something. You have to restrict her driving for the duration as well, just like a stroke or heart attack victim. As bad as you gals drive and park normally, it's scientific fact that you're even worse when hormonal. This is a public safety issue.


I will take your medical opinion under advisement and inevitably choose to counter with unsurpassed anger. Hide your frying pans, oil, and (to be safe) your coffee grounds.
I may crash my over-sized vehicle into your house, because as a short woman I like to drive large vehicles...they make me feel strong and safe. It's similar to small penis syndrome, but that is another topic entirely.
Oh, sorry...but I've got to run. I'm on the freeway.
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Dr. CP,
I apologize, but you are going to have to use smaller words from now on. My female brain had a very difficult time processing such. The time it took me to search for my dictionary was frightful, for me and most likely everyone that had to merge left while I reached into my back seat. The scariest times were when the seat blocked my vision of the road. The fear caused me to become delusional, because it seemed that I was in a new lane every time I looked to see if breaking was needed...but logic dictates that is irrational.
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I do need a ride, koisies.
Let us stop at the drug store, we shall self medicate.
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Doctor: koisies
Patient: cowpuncher
Topic: STD prevention
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I'm ready, this bourbon speaks my language.
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Posted by PVAF
Posted by CluelessCancer
This thread seems highly obnoxious, i can't wait to read it after work, i know i'll have a little giggle here and there.


LOL! Aquarius Mercury women vs Sag Mercury man.
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We will win, out of sheer insanity.
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C/P
NEEDS AQUA, CAPGRIL 69 AND TRUECAP TO PUT A BRAND ON HIS LEFT BUM
AND A COWBELL HANGING OFF HIS BALLS
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Big Grin
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Posted by koisies
Posted by PVAF
Posted by koisies
Posted by MissFisk
This is a therapy thread! Start a Litigation Thread and maybe you can win your monopoly money and built Koi a barn to make amends.



POINT!
I would totally take you as my bad ass attorney, Miss Fisk, except I don't even need one to win this. The mere fact that Dr CP sought treatment from me after he had, according to him, successfully treated me, only to then accuse me of malpractice for not being able to treat an STD he himself admits to having contracted while treating another patient...
I mean, even his attorney isn't showing up for this Big Grin.


Aqua Merc 1
Sag Merc 0
Big Grin




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Your gif selection powers remain unrivaled. smile
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You're not so bad yourself, Stoic.
Now we just need our time to overlap on here so we can have a gif off.
Big Grin
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What better way of therapizing yourself by questioning and answering yourself on these boards atleast you get the help you need from yourself. It works so I dont have a problem with it.
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Dear Dr. C. Puncher,
I reget to inform that I am not, and have not been, in private practice for some time, having previously accepted a judicial appointment. As such, I am unable to accept your request for representation against Dr. K. Koisies. The Court always encourages individuals to attempt to settle their civil grievances privately, as this saves significant time and expense on the behalf of all concerned parties. In the event litigation is either unavoidable or your prefered course of action, I shall look forward to the opportunity to oversee a just resolution to the matter(s) you bring before the Court.
As you mentioned my name as your counsel in correspondence with the Dr. K. Koisies, I have directed that a copy of this letter be provided to her, as well.
Sincerely yours,
The Honourable S. Goat, Esq.
Judge
SG/bs
CC: Dr. K. Koisies
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