Trying to analyze a Capricorn guy...

So I had a thing with this one particular capricorn male from last november until may. We were intimate on two different occasions but other than that we were just friendly with a lot of flirting and him pursuing me. He never told me how he felt although I felt a connection between us and I really thought he liked me. When I asked him what the deal was between us, he just told me that he doesn't want a relationship right now. For a second I thought that was just another way of saying "I only want fwb" but then again thinking about all the things that he's done and hasn't done I just couldn't shake the feeling off that he has feelings for me.
Afterwards everything slowed down and we began to talk less and less, and eventually I told him how I like him over text. He never responded but blushed and smiled and tried to converse with me the day after and the after that. I ended up pushing him away because I felt awkward. Eventually we stopped talking all in all and he would watch me from a distance.
After not talking for 3 months, attempting to move on, I began to believe that I just didn't care for him.

But the second I saw him in september all the emotions came back to me when we had a moment where we just stared at each other. I couldn't help but to ignore is existence, and noticed him staring many times after that. Weeks flew by and I began noticing him looking over and watching me constantly, especially when i talked to other guys. I began to say hi but infrequently and at times he would blush or just smile almost as if he was trying to contain it. To this day I still see him look over when he's from a distance. He is really awkward naturally and he's leaving for the marines in the matter of 7 months.

My theory is that he really did have feelings for me once, and that he still might but it's just that he knows that he's leaving in 7 months to do something he loves, and prioritizes that over having a relationship with me and getting hurt at the end when he has to leave.

What do you guys think?

Posted by capinc
Don't analyze too much. You might hurt yourself.

I'm going to get hurt either way

Posted by vir22
For a second I thought that was just another way of saying "I only want fwb" but then again thinking about all the things that he's done and hasn't done

Posted by vir22

He never responded but blushed and smiled and tried to converse with me the day after and the after that.

Posted by vir22

and he's leaving for the marines in the matter of 7 months.

==============================

Posted by vir22

I ended up pushing him away

Posted by vir22
I began to say hi but infrequently

Not a water.

==============================

Posted by vir22

My theory is that he really did have feelings for me once

click to expand

All humans have feelings.

Posted by capinc
Don't analyze too much. You might hurt yourself.

lmao

i needed that.

That is funny shit, well played, and empathetic

I wouldn't even try to pursue it. He's going to be going off to the marines and he's most likely not going to want any ties back home. In my opinion, long distance relationships aren't very practical.

Caps like when you make them suffer.

Posted by GenethliacLover66
That's just what Capricorns do. They tease Virgos. If he hasn't planned his life with you, then he's only going to continue teasing you. You need to learn how to flip the script on him so that you can watch him suffer and not the other way around.

and how do I get to do that?

Caps like when you make them suffer.

HOW MANY HAVE YOU MADE TO SUFFER?

Posted by james tate
Caps like when you make them suffer.

HOW MANY HAVE YOU MADE TO SUFFER?

Not many, just 2 and not for long either. Just because they enjoy it, it doesn't mean I do.

Posted by Datariesgirl

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Caps like when you make them suffer.

Sad, but true. Why is that?

click to expand

Oh gosh, that I don't know. 😛

Sad, but true. Why is that?

ask aqua could be a board she has the inside info on Capricorn males
I hate it when we are figeard out

I don't have info on Cap males, just some insight, some experience... that is all. Good and bad.

I don't have info on Cap males, just some insight, some experience... that is all. Good and bad

YOU KNOW US AS WELL AS ANYONE AND BETTER THAN MOST

Posted by james tate
Sad, but true. Why is that?

ask aqua could be a board she has the inside info on Capricorn males
I hate it when we are figeard out

I think it's because it makes you feel challenged and you like being challenged. It's like a kick of adrenaline for you guys to work harder or a 5 hour energy lol
and once you over come your hardship, it gives you this amazing accomplished feeling.

idk am I wrong?

Posted by vir22

Posted by james tate
Sad, but true. Why is that?

ask aqua could be a board she has the inside info on Capricorn males
I hate it when we are figeard out

I think it's because it makes you feel challenged and you like being challenged. It's like a kick of adrenaline for you guys to work harder or a 5 hour energy lol
and once you over come your hardship, it gives you this amazing accomplished feeling.

idk am I wrong?

click to expand

shock is always usefull because it makes you move
being able to make somebody suffer produces a vision that you are a strong partner

========================================


they like to cut off anybody making them suffer too

shock is always usefull because it makes you move
being able to make somebody suffer produces a vision that you are a strong partner

they like to cut off anybody making them suffer too

True da! True da!

Any good idea to make them suffer coz I can be very strong if I don't like a person!

I'm a Virgo. My ex was a Cap

We met online when I was in the 11th grade. We were long distance for 2 years, during which we tried to see each other at least once every 6 weeks and spend the summer and winter holidays with my family or with his. After those 2 years, he went to university there, and I went to another city to study, closer to his.

We had a good talk about it. I told him I cannot cope with being apart for another 4 years. He quit school there and moved here, mainly because he had more career prospects here and the university was better all around.

My point is..if you would've established you were together and had a relationship prior to him choosing to join the marines then he might have been able to find a way around it and kept the communication going, even if his career will always come first. However, long distance relationships are tough work and if there is no end in sight, it's unwise to engage in something like this..it will drain you of energy and make you bitter if it doesn't work out.

We had a good talk about it. I told him I cannot cope with being apart for another 4 years. He quit school there and moved here, mainly because he had more career prospects here and the university was better all around.

What 'talk' was this about?

Yeh if he was so uncoping with being apart how come he joined the Marines? and so soon after university. Why does he hate this person and yet still say he 'loves' her?
Also it sounds like he just needs you around to be his prop? to fuck around with and do what ever he wants to. How has this worked? If someone is like this previous they will not change and have ask why they are like they are? The real reason/s why they are like they are not some psychobabblebullshit.
Why has not it got stopped?
I am sorry what the fuck were they doing online in grade 11? HELLO? WTF were the parents thinking? that it was ok for this to happen? No its not ok and it will never be ok, OK!

Also who the fuck is behind this shit? If it were not him or the girl then who? HUH? Ever yourselfs that? Stop blaming the kids for fucking nothing, blame who's behind this shit and then we maybe can get somewhere, alright then!

My theory is that he really did have feelings for me once, and that he still might but it's just that he knows that he's leaving in 7 months to do something he loves, and prioritizes that over having a relationship with me and getting hurt at the end when he has to leave.

What do you guys think?

I think that it is always important to prioritize certain events in ones life to serve others instead of self. Being in a relationship can either help or distract you from your lifes work so its best if you dont end up in a relationship so that you can fully immerse yourself in the work involved. Being in the marines/army/navy/airforce is a hard job and having a relationship would not be in your best interests at this moment in time due to the focus and drive you must pertain within to achieve said goals according to the marines. Now this is not to say you cant have a relationship/s, its best not to if you set out to focus soley on something as important as the soldier life.

I'm going to get hurt either way
What do you mean by this?

I hope for your sake you dont end up hurt.

I have seen that people usually dont stop loving the people they have once loved and continue to love.

Why be in a relationship if you going to the marines? Why put yourselves thru that?

Sounds like you both using each other. Need to stay away if you cant get along and better your lifes both.

Also dont stress about what happened to me. Not your fault. Your forgiven. Just get yourself better because people here on dxpnet are looking to down both of you and will put anything on you's to have this happen.

Now I know you didnt have anything to do with it and actually would like to know who did so I can have a quiet word with them if I ever see them again that is.

@mfwb55 I appreciate your serious answer to the OP's question. I don't think all people on dxpnet "down" people when shit like this happens. I think over time the online community gets comfortable with one another and we're all here with our own shit and sometimes we joke around a lot or act a bit familiar. It helps relieve tensions. If someone crosses a boundary, then it's best to speak up. Advice can be helpful, but sometimes it's best to take it with the grain of salt or filter it through the source

Posted by mfwb55
I hope for your sake you dont end up hurt.

I have seen that people usually dont stop loving the people they have once loved and continue to love.

Why be in a relationship if you going to the marines? Why put yourselves thru that?

I see your point here. It seems relevant to the OP. I think as a Virgo she has done a good job reasoning out this situation when she came to the forum. I agree with this:

"My theory is that he really did have feelings for me once, and that he still might but it's just that he knows that he's leaving in 7 months to do something he loves, and prioritizes that over having a relationship with me and getting hurt at the end when he has to leave."

It's probably not best to overanalyze, but yes it sounds like a classic case of life happening and holding back from a relationship due to reasonable unavailability before falling in love. I'm sorry this happened as well. Pullback can be terrible to experience emotionally. I also hope they do not suffer.

They are still quite young, and life could happen in a positive direction. It's possible there's hope in the future, but you can't let that distract from enjoying day-to-day existence and allowing the possibilities of life to unfold. I hope for the best.

Posted by mfwb55
We had a good talk about it. I told him I cannot cope with being apart for another 4 years. He quit school there and moved here, mainly because he had more career prospects here and the university was better all around.

What 'talk' was this about?

About where this relationship was going and if it would be better to break up than spend another 4 years apart.

Posted by mfwb55
Yeh if he was so uncoping with being apart how come he joined the Marines? and so soon after university. Why does he hate this person and yet still say he 'loves' her?
Also it sounds like he just needs you around to be his prop? to fuck around with and do what ever he wants to. How has this worked? If someone is like this previous they will not change and have ask why they are like they are? The real reason/s why they are like they are not some psychobabblebullshit.
Why has not it got stopped?
I am sorry what the fuck were they doing online in grade 11? HELLO? WTF were the parents thinking? that it was ok for this to happen? No its not ok and it will never be ok, OK!

I think you've misunderstood the circumstance I'm in currently. There are many details I've left out because I wanted to keep my year long thing with him short and simple.
1. He's in a contract that was made way before we met (2 years ago. I met him 1 year ago).
2. I was never his prop. You make me sound like a vulnerable girl, which I'm not. I'm not wishy washy and don't let people push me around or influence me. If he had gotten what he wanted, he wouldn't look at me with this lonely face, watch me when I talk to other guys and smile like theres no tomorrow when I talk to him. I never gave him what he wanted. We kissed on one occasion and became intimate on another but he was never the one to make the first move. So no I was not his prop. Him and I had the same amount of respect for each other.
3. I personally dislike your statement "I am sorry what the fuck were they doing online in grade 11? HELLO? WTF were the parents thinking? that it was ok for this to happen? No its not ok and it will never be ok, OK!" that is disrespectful and puts others down. @Damnata is being kind and sharing her story, it is not your place to criticize her experience. Please be more respectful.

I think you should contact him and talk to him. At least catch up, I know being a Capricorn I love catching up with friends, he probably thinks that you don't want him to talk to you, Which is making him nervous and shy, it's how all Capricorns do and think.

He probably did/does have feelings for you. But be honest...does any of that matter if his decision is NOT to be with you despite his feelings? Even if he confirmed that he had feelings, would it make you feel better IF he was still maintaining that he didn't want a relationship? If he says, "Yes, I have feelings for you," then what—

Capricorns can be very cautious & slow in love. It takes an incredible amount of patience & the ability to read subtle clues from them. Even if they are madly in love with you, they will STILL make you work to get through their layers; in their minds, the person who stuck it through will win their heart in the end. This makes sense to the Cap but of course seems unfair to the other person.

You might be the kind of person who hates having feelings that you can't do anything with (relationship). Understandable. But some people, especially guys, are a little more content with having an attraction that stays where it is...meaning, they have feelings & that's all it ever has been and ever will be. Again, this makes sense to the person who doesn't immediately feel the urge to commit once they grow feelings for you, but hardly makes sense to the other person.

There could be 1 million reasons for why he doesn't want to commit. The reason might be you or it could be other things. Don't spend all your time guessing though b/c your "conclusion" is almost always never what the truth is.

When a man doesn't want to commit, it doesn't always mean that he doesn't see you as a good fit for a relationship with him, BUT one thing is for sure...he won't commit if he's not willing/ready/able to do what it takes during a commitment. Some men actually take commitment seriously & won't even go there if they know there's something (distance, baggage, trust issues, financial problems, dealings with an ex or lack of ENOUGH attraction to you, etc.) that could stop the commitment from being a fulfilling, long-lasting one.

Usually when a man tells you that he doesn't want to be with you, he's doing you a favor. Be glad that some people don't sign up for something they're not ready for. That's a GOOD thing. God knows there are far too many men in relationships that they don't really wanna be in, which is of no favor to the woman in it with him.

If you can't handle having feelings for him w/o getting a commitment in return, that's understandable, BUT if you can't handle it, then get out & do YOUR part to make sure things remain plato

...If you can't handle having feelings for him w/o getting a commitment in return, that's understandable, BUT if you can't handle it, then get out & do YOUR part to make sure things remain platonic b/w you two. He can probably handle sex, emotions & fun w/o a commitment, so don't expect for him to put a stop to all things non-platonic. It's up the person who can't handle it to put a stop to it. Not b/c he's a bad person, but b/c you can't emotionally afford to keep giving something that you're no getting back in return.

You can always remain friends with him. Who knows what will happen in the future? Meanwhile, just live your life and stay on friendly terms.

thank you everyone.

For a while after we had a "fresh new start" we didn't talk or look at each other for a while, but today he did something surprising of him. He's naturally a awkward, shy, quiet guy that never really initiates a greeting in person actually went out of his way to say hi to me.

I stood by my class door talking to my friend when I saw him down the hall going into the staircase when we had eye contact. At that moment he was halfway through the door but started walking in my direction instead and looked at me straight in the eye and said hey with an eyebrow raise. I was so startled. This shy guy that couldn't even make the move to kiss me first for 40 minutes, that didn't know how to initiate a hug without being awkward, actually said hi to me even while I was talking to my friend, even though we hadn't talked in weeks. I'm mind blown.
It seems to me he did go out of his way to say hi to me. What do you guys think?