Trying to get over a CAP
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by capris on Sunday, February 3, 2008 and has 18 replies.
Ok, so I met this guy a month ago, and we had a great time. WHat I don't understand is why he all of a sudden he just backed off. HE's the one who made all the first moves, talked about how he wants to give my parents a fruit basket, and made future dates. One day, he just told me flat out, I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I wanted a relationship, but I realized that I don't. I was thinking maybe he met someone else, but he is on AIM all the time, so I'm pretty sure he's been staying home all the time. He lives alone and he just moved here from another state for work...so he doesn't know anybody here.
We also got into another argument a few weeks ago, it was his birthday and I asked him that we grabbed some food together. He agreed and 1 hour later he tells me if he can get a "raincheck." I was so dissapointed and upset that I said, "Ok...I'm just going to make plans with you." He was confused by this statement and he asked me what went wrong the next day. I told him that everytime I asked him to go out, he says no. This was the 3rd time he turned me down/cancelled on me, but when he asked to hang out, he's always up for it. Later on that day he told me, "I don't want any drama..I consider you a friend. It's up to you if you want to be mean to me or not" For over a week I didn't speak to him, but i gave up and called him. He talked to me like nothing happened. So we started talking again and I just couldn't help it. I know I have to stop talking to him so I wrote him an email to tell him why I was upset and basically I implied that I don't want to talk to him anymore. I'm hurting and I know it's not going to go anywhere, but what happened to the sweet guy I met initially?? Even my bestfriends were saying "oh my gosh..he's so into you! He looks at you like you're the only one in the room" My bestfriends tell me the honest truth. How could he have fooled them if he wasn't sincere about what he said..and he actions...he was so affectionate with me. I was looking at all the pictures and my girlfriends were right! I just don't understand what happened and I don't know why I have all these emotions when I just met him a month ago! Pls someone tell mewhat happenedto the sweet guy who was so into me a month ago!
We also got into another argument a few weeks ago, it was his birthday and I asked him that we grabbed some food together. He agreed and 1 hour later he tells me if he can get a "raincheck." I was so dissapointed and upset that I said, "Ok...I'm just going to make plans with you." He was confused by this statement and he asked me what went wrong the next day. I told him that everytime I asked him to go out, he says no. This was the 3rd time he turned me down/cancelled on me, but when he asked to hang out, he's always up for it. Later on that day he told me, "I don't want any drama..I consider you a friend. It's up to you if you want to be mean to me or not" For over a week I didn't speak to him, but i gave up and called him. He talked to me like nothing happened. So we started talking again and I just couldn't help it. I know I have to stop talking to him so I wrote him an email to tell him why I was upset and basically I implied that I don't want to talk to him anymore. I'm hurting and I know it's not going to go anywhere, but what happened to the sweet guy I met initially?? Even my bestfriends were saying "oh my gosh..he's so into you! He looks at you like you're the only one in the room" My bestfriends tell me the honest truth. How could he have fooled them if he wasn't sincere about what he said..and he actions...he was so affectionate with me. I was looking at all the pictures and my girlfriends were right! I just don't understand what happened and I don't know why I have all these emotions when I just met him a month ago! Pls someone tell mewhat happenedto the sweet guy who was so into me a month ago!
sorry typo...I meant.."OK...I'm just NOT going to make plans with you anymore"
gosh... that really hurts. For some reason, I need someone to tell me that over and over again...everyday. 
Thanx sagigoat.
Thanx sagigoat.thanks sagigoat! I just got over an x recently and this CAP was the next guy. THat is why I feel like crap. I didn't date in serious terms for a long time and I thought he was the next BF...yah know? I emailed him about how I felt and why I was upset. Do you think he's going to at least reply to that? He also said that he wanted me in his life or else he wouldn't be talking to me anymore...sigh. I don't know, I just have strong emotions for this guy for some weird reaason.
I agree with sagigoat...if you can't be his friend, then I think you should just let it go. I was in a similar situation with a cap. I had to tell myself that I deserve the BEST, and I won't settle for less. It took me a while to get over this guy and when I did...guess who was ringing my phone. I choose never to talk to him again. It was hard, ooooh boy was it hard. There were many days I wanted to pick up a phone or e-mail him and just tell him exactly how I felt. I couldn't do it, because I couldn't take him hurting my feelings AGAIN. I said for every day he didn't call me I would work out for one hour...I've lost 20 pounds...Girl I look like tight work. Not calling me was the best thing he could have done. I am soooo sorry you're hurting. Time will heal. Cry, scream, yell, call your friends, pick a hobby, do whatever it takes to keep your mind focus on something other then him. Oh and don't think he won't call again, just give him time to miss you. Go on with your life and do what makes you happy...thats right!!!!!! it's ok to be selfish sometimes.
thanks klozeureyez! I will try. I work out consistently, I guess I will work out everyday! sighhs
selffish = selfish
But he is a Cap too..LOL!!!
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That's good, he is not a pisces. They are jerks, jumping here and there. PLEASE do not spoil this thread for its meaning like you did last time lurking back and forth with me to save "some one".
Here : I will completely IGNORE u, u carry on with your stupidity....
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That's good, he is not a pisces. They are jerks, jumping here and there. PLEASE do not spoil this thread for its meaning like you did last time lurking back and forth with me to save "some one".
Here : I will completely IGNORE u, u carry on with your stupidity....
"I said for every day he didn't call me I would work out for one hour...I've lost 20 pounds...Girl I look like tight work."
KlozeurEyz, I love that! Great advice ... i've been doing same thing, but it was mostly to keep busy and to work off stress. What i like the most about what you said is that it directly ties it in...the less effort the man puts into me, the more effort i put into myself!!!
i know i should be doing that anywayz...but every little bit helps so thanks for the extra motivation. maybe those pesky last 5 pounds will finally go
KlozeurEyz, I love that! Great advice ... i've been doing same thing, but it was mostly to keep busy and to work off stress. What i like the most about what you said is that it directly ties it in...the less effort the man puts into me, the more effort i put into myself!!!
i know i should be doing that anywayz...but every little bit helps so thanks for the extra motivation. maybe those pesky last 5 pounds will finally go
I blocked him from my AIM and gmail-chat and I deleted his #s from my phone (and no, I don't have them memorized cuz I only called him once). I know it sounds dramatic, but I gotta be selfish and do everything I can to forget about him. or is that too much??
selfish and do everything I can to forget about him. or is that too much??
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No- its NOT being selfish. It's the most important first step in the right direction :-)
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No- its NOT being selfish. It's the most important first step in the right direction :-)
Im still hoping that he would still call me, but I'm not expecting it.
yah he's alone all the time or it seems like it. he's online 24-7
"We caps, often are taken advantage of our helpful nature."
Very much agree on taht one, have experienced it again and again...and still, I don't learn...sigh....
Very much agree on taht one, have experienced it again and again...and still, I don't learn...sigh....
so..I'm meeting new people. I'm not as sad anymore, but I'm still hoping that he would call me. Is how I'm feeling a capricorn thing. This guy I'm talking to is from the same state as him and went to the same college and graduated the same year. There is a possibility that they know each other. Would this make him jealous or you think he doesn't even care at all? He still didn't respond to my email. You guys think he even noticed that I haven't been online cuz I blocked him on AIM.
Capris, he will notice in time that you have not contacted him, he will come back to you in his own time. Caps are very patient people and you need to be patient with them.
My Cap disappeared for months because he was busy with work then he came back to me, then he went missing again due to work, then he came back. "he is always on his own" also but i think they prefer it that way.
I have put up with it so far as I am very busy myself and have not got time for a relationship at the moment.
If you are prepared to stick around a while for him, then it may be worth it, who knows?
My Cap disappeared for months because he was busy with work then he came back to me, then he went missing again due to work, then he came back. "he is always on his own" also but i think they prefer it that way.
I have put up with it so far as I am very busy myself and have not got time for a relationship at the moment.
If you are prepared to stick around a while for him, then it may be worth it, who knows?
Thanks Sammy! Well, I don't want to wait for him cuz I did that with my last bf and it didn't go anywhere. I only got hurt even more. I am meeting new ppl as I mentioned from my last post, but I still have him in the back of my mind. Is it because I can't have him? We always want what we can't have...right? well... it's going to be a week that I blocked him on AIM...
"The Caps are smart people, if executives, even more smarter."
- caprigirlwithvirgo
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