Unusal Behaviour
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Scorpionlady on Wednesday, November 8, 2006 and has 12 replies.
I just found out that my best girlfried, (taurus) known each other since we were in the 8th grade and a co-worker well 2 coworkers (Libra, Aquarius) has also made this same comment and find it to be a bit strange.
All three ladies has informed me in so many words that they have be mentally and physically abused by a Capricorn.
And right know my best girlfriend is struggling because she caught her man(Cap) in the bathroom smoking crack, not to mention all the other lies, he has told her,
- After 6 months of dating she find out that he was living with another women
- She allow him to move in her house I questioned her on that last night and she just shugged her shoulder) and said that she is a harmonious person she just let it happen
- She has told me that he has slapped her before
- She had surgery he came to see her one time during a 1 week stay
- When it was time for her to leave the hospital he was nowhere to be found her daughter had to bring her home
- When she got home he expected her to get up and continue the business they got going on toghether, hell she just had a hestorictomy.
We sat up until way after midnight me just listening to her pure her heart out about a man that she know is deceitful and is not good for her and she constantly say she loves him. I finally told her to put love in her back pocket and move on. I let her do all the talking and answer her own questions.
But in her mind she just want him to come home and so that she can hug him and see if feels that love, and if she don'e she will put him out. But I am like damn what if she does feel a spark is she going to except this crap let him stay and turn her head, to what she already knows.
I told her about my situation with the Cap and how I walked away because I refuse to allow him to take me through any type of abuse been there done that I know I am a very emotional person and to know that my emotions could be damaged I did not think I could deal with it so I made a very hard decision and left and it took me 6 months to get over him and although I still love him so very much I could never be with him.
And I find out today that my co-worker (Aqua) was married to one for 2 yrs and she went off on him she also said that he physially and mentally abused her also to the point where she tried to kill him and could not go to the divorce because he feared for his life. LOL
cont'
All three ladies has informed me in so many words that they have be mentally and physically abused by a Capricorn.
And right know my best girlfriend is struggling because she caught her man(Cap) in the bathroom smoking crack, not to mention all the other lies, he has told her,
- After 6 months of dating she find out that he was living with another women
- She allow him to move in her house I questioned her on that last night and she just shugged her shoulder) and said that she is a harmonious person she just let it happen
- She has told me that he has slapped her before
- She had surgery he came to see her one time during a 1 week stay
- When it was time for her to leave the hospital he was nowhere to be found her daughter had to bring her home
- When she got home he expected her to get up and continue the business they got going on toghether, hell she just had a hestorictomy.
We sat up until way after midnight me just listening to her pure her heart out about a man that she know is deceitful and is not good for her and she constantly say she loves him. I finally told her to put love in her back pocket and move on. I let her do all the talking and answer her own questions.
But in her mind she just want him to come home and so that she can hug him and see if feels that love, and if she don'e she will put him out. But I am like damn what if she does feel a spark is she going to except this crap let him stay and turn her head, to what she already knows.
I told her about my situation with the Cap and how I walked away because I refuse to allow him to take me through any type of abuse been there done that I know I am a very emotional person and to know that my emotions could be damaged I did not think I could deal with it so I made a very hard decision and left and it took me 6 months to get over him and although I still love him so very much I could never be with him.
And I find out today that my co-worker (Aqua) was married to one for 2 yrs and she went off on him she also said that he physially and mentally abused her also to the point where she tried to kill him and could not go to the divorce because he feared for his life. LOL
cont'
And my other co-worker who spent 12 years with her Cap, she lost a lot of weight, she was taking sleeping pills and he also abused her.
So my question is this to you Cap Men, what the hell is really going on? I truly believe that if you hear the same story more than 3 times it is time to believe that this is possible and could happen to you and that is what I am afraid of for my friend.
I can see that she loves him, and I know that if he comes back and put the charm on her she is going to melt into his arms and this vicious cycle is going to repeat itself and I don't want her to have to go through this, but I know that I can't stop her either because she has already sanked to the Undying Love for this man and what he did is not excuse for it and is unaccetable.
I have been on this board and I have never read anything about abuse.
I have come to the conclusion, that once you fall in love and go through all that they take you through eventually you give of all control and they become your everything, you hold things in and you are start walking on egg shells. Oh and let me also say that the Aqua verbally abused her also, told her she is nothing will never be nothing, and so did the Taurus and the Libra I mean damn, for these guys to be a sensitive as they are how can you bring someone else down?
So all I am saying, you ladies that are dealing with these men please keep your eyes open and stand for something because I do believe that these men are capable of this.
As for me no I am not haten I just thought that I put some needed information out there and if I am wrong then I am wrong but I truly doubt it and time will tell.
So my question is this to you Cap Men, what the hell is really going on? I truly believe that if you hear the same story more than 3 times it is time to believe that this is possible and could happen to you and that is what I am afraid of for my friend.
I can see that she loves him, and I know that if he comes back and put the charm on her she is going to melt into his arms and this vicious cycle is going to repeat itself and I don't want her to have to go through this, but I know that I can't stop her either because she has already sanked to the Undying Love for this man and what he did is not excuse for it and is unaccetable.
I have been on this board and I have never read anything about abuse.
I have come to the conclusion, that once you fall in love and go through all that they take you through eventually you give of all control and they become your everything, you hold things in and you are start walking on egg shells. Oh and let me also say that the Aqua verbally abused her also, told her she is nothing will never be nothing, and so did the Taurus and the Libra I mean damn, for these guys to be a sensitive as they are how can you bring someone else down?
So all I am saying, you ladies that are dealing with these men please keep your eyes open and stand for something because I do believe that these men are capable of this.
As for me no I am not haten I just thought that I put some needed information out there and if I am wrong then I am wrong but I truly doubt it and time will tell.
Signed Up: Feb 09, 2006
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
Comments: 0 · Posts: 847 · Topics: 15
Anyone can be abusive, really. My ex is a Leo and he was abusive. I think at this point, this is certainly more of a 'nurture' debate than it is an astrological one.
Hey SL,
I agree, I've never heard of abuse on the cap board (other than the mental torment we've allowed these guys to take us through), I guess that's why many women here have tried to understand their peculiar path of love. I think that if abuse (verbal and physical) was something that is a usual part of their behavior, many of us would not have stuck around them.
As for your best friend, and please I mean no offense, but is she the type that attracts abusive men? Like, deliberately? Sounds like she has a very low self-image of herself. As far as your other two colleagues, I would wonder if they are also provoking a negative reaction from their caps. I'm an Aquarian (Pisces cusp), and I know that if I've had enough of someone I'll cut them loose, but if that person insists on staying around, I can get pretty ugly. I'm wondering if the Aqua wanted out and the cap wouldn't give in, therefore she got went nut-buggy on him. As far as the Libra is concerned, good lord, they can drive anybody crazy... but no one deserves to be abused.
I agree, I've never heard of abuse on the cap board (other than the mental torment we've allowed these guys to take us through), I guess that's why many women here have tried to understand their peculiar path of love. I think that if abuse (verbal and physical) was something that is a usual part of their behavior, many of us would not have stuck around them.
As for your best friend, and please I mean no offense, but is she the type that attracts abusive men? Like, deliberately? Sounds like she has a very low self-image of herself. As far as your other two colleagues, I would wonder if they are also provoking a negative reaction from their caps. I'm an Aquarian (Pisces cusp), and I know that if I've had enough of someone I'll cut them loose, but if that person insists on staying around, I can get pretty ugly. I'm wondering if the Aqua wanted out and the cap wouldn't give in, therefore she got went nut-buggy on him. As far as the Libra is concerned, good lord, they can drive anybody crazy... but no one deserves to be abused.
like LWCA said... just a certain breed of the bad ones. but i appreciate this post, SL. Women get emotional over a guy to where they feel like they can't live without him, despite his horrendous abusiveness... i dont care how severe, or if its mental abuse... you dont treat someone that way... whether you love them or not. Love is in fact blinding sometimes... and when its blinding a woman from leaving a man that is only bringing her down, its also unfortunate and foolish and my heart goes out to those women.
SL, you're a damn strong woman for having the foresight and the self awareness to know to stay away from that cap guy despite the agony you endured for saying goodbye and letting go. I'm glad for that and i admire it.
SL, you're a damn strong woman for having the foresight and the self awareness to know to stay away from that cap guy despite the agony you endured for saying goodbye and letting go. I'm glad for that and i admire it.
LWC,
You are right, anyone can be abusive, but what I am trying to say women who are involved with these type of capmen keep your eyes open and don't let this happen to you. I see that these men can take you to your lowest point if you let then, i.e., verbal, physical or mental, It is not worth it really it is'nt, and love don't have nothing to do with it. Because sometimes you have to put love in your back pocket and keep moving.
CP
Hey thanks, but no kudo for me, I know me and I know that I cannot deal with anyone that, could possible, damage my emotions being that I am a very emotional person. But I can help others.
No offense to anyone but a lot a women can't see what they are doing to them, and they are so caught up in the special way they are treated, the love making, other than that what are they really getting from these men? because from what I see it is not mental support, togetherness, and it is not the kind of love that a man should show/give a women that knows they deserve more.
From what I gather the bottom line is that these types of men don't know how to be in a relationship and this is why they have a lot of admires that they can go back and forth with when their feelings get in the way.
I have not called my friend yet, I am sorta afriad to hear what she is going to say. In my heart I know she has let him come back. And I don't think I am ready to hear it just yet and I don't want to hate him but I did tell her that if she takes him back and I am around and I see any sign of him still smoking crack, or abusing her then I will step in and she agree. I think I will just let her call me whens he is ready.
PF-
No my girlfriend is not insecure trust me she is a (Taurus), and in her mind she was ready to kill the man, I saw love in her that she had for this man and I have never seen her this way before, She really loves him. But at the samen time she knows that what he is/has done to her is not right and she has to make that decision to leave and I am doing is just standing my friend.
You are right, anyone can be abusive, but what I am trying to say women who are involved with these type of capmen keep your eyes open and don't let this happen to you. I see that these men can take you to your lowest point if you let then, i.e., verbal, physical or mental, It is not worth it really it is'nt, and love don't have nothing to do with it. Because sometimes you have to put love in your back pocket and keep moving.
CP
Hey thanks, but no kudo for me, I know me and I know that I cannot deal with anyone that, could possible, damage my emotions being that I am a very emotional person. But I can help others.
No offense to anyone but a lot a women can't see what they are doing to them, and they are so caught up in the special way they are treated, the love making, other than that what are they really getting from these men? because from what I see it is not mental support, togetherness, and it is not the kind of love that a man should show/give a women that knows they deserve more.
From what I gather the bottom line is that these types of men don't know how to be in a relationship and this is why they have a lot of admires that they can go back and forth with when their feelings get in the way.
I have not called my friend yet, I am sorta afriad to hear what she is going to say. In my heart I know she has let him come back. And I don't think I am ready to hear it just yet and I don't want to hate him but I did tell her that if she takes him back and I am around and I see any sign of him still smoking crack, or abusing her then I will step in and she agree. I think I will just let her call me whens he is ready.
PF-
No my girlfriend is not insecure trust me she is a (Taurus), and in her mind she was ready to kill the man, I saw love in her that she had for this man and I have never seen her this way before, She really loves him. But at the samen time she knows that what he is/has done to her is not right and she has to make that decision to leave and I am doing is just standing my friend.
Good points, SL, especially "From what I gather the bottom line is that these types of men don't know how to be in a relationship and this is why they have a lot of admirers that they can go back and forth with when their feelings get in the way."
I think that when you start to feel like you're being batted around like a mouse by them, that's the time to pull the plug completely and get out.
It just amazes me to no end how alot of these guys were married before!? I cannot fathom them getting to that point with someone.
I think that when you start to feel like you're being batted around like a mouse by them, that's the time to pull the plug completely and get out.
It just amazes me to no end how alot of these guys were married before!? I cannot fathom them getting to that point with someone.
Me either.
You know what is funny to me know...
I was out celebrating my B-day on Thursday went to this place called the "Fish Market" and I was dancing in front of this guy and he put some money in my jeans and then I told him it was my birthday and he said happy B-day and then I said when is yours and he said in Dec. and I said so you are a Sag and he said not a Capricorn and I pointed my finger at him and said "Hey I know about you guys" and he just smiled, he did dance with me, I gave my number to a friend of his that was at the table and told him to give my number to they Cap guy so when we where dancing I said did you get my number and he said what is your name I told him and he said yea I got it. Don't you know the brother has not called....LOL....but I do suspect a call at a time when I least expect it.
Would I deal with him yes but he will have hell on is hands, I would not make it easy for him.
You know what is funny to me know...
I was out celebrating my B-day on Thursday went to this place called the "Fish Market" and I was dancing in front of this guy and he put some money in my jeans and then I told him it was my birthday and he said happy B-day and then I said when is yours and he said in Dec. and I said so you are a Sag and he said not a Capricorn and I pointed my finger at him and said "Hey I know about you guys" and he just smiled, he did dance with me, I gave my number to a friend of his that was at the table and told him to give my number to they Cap guy so when we where dancing I said did you get my number and he said what is your name I told him and he said yea I got it. Don't you know the brother has not called....LOL....but I do suspect a call at a time when I least expect it.
Would I deal with him yes but he will have hell on is hands, I would not make it easy for him.
Well I spoke with my gf and she said that he came home and told her that he is not a crack smoker but a crack dealer, (Lier) that was such a lie I felt it through the email...she said that he is willing to go to rehab but only because of a DWI not because of the habit that he has. Then she tells me if I see him don't mention it.
I could not tell her that I believe he was lieing she will have to learn this lesson herself.
I could not tell her that I believe he was lieing she will have to learn this lesson herself.
Scorpionlady -
So very sorry to hear about your friend. I too have had friends caught up in abusive relationships - it is not that easy to get out of because of the "emotional" damage that has been caused.
There is a way that you can help her *if she herself is willing to seek help* check out this website - it has been very helpful to many others.
www.drirene.com
I wish only the best for your friend - she is so fortunate to have you in her life to support her.
Freebird
So very sorry to hear about your friend. I too have had friends caught up in abusive relationships - it is not that easy to get out of because of the "emotional" damage that has been caused.
There is a way that you can help her *if she herself is willing to seek help* check out this website - it has been very helpful to many others.
www.drirene.com
I wish only the best for your friend - she is so fortunate to have you in her life to support her.
Freebird
Thanks Freebird I will check it out.
Hey SL,
Ok, I see. Love can be blind and until she changes her mind about him, all you can do is stick by her. But everytime she asks your opinion, stick to that too. Being a taurus does not make one immune to insecurity. Her stubborness and/or confidence could be misdirected and is just what makes her hang in there longer believing she can help him change -- but in the meantime, she has no peace. She never knows what kind of mood he will be in. Although all of us have to deal with that, it's different when the person is physically abusive. I wish she would dump him. He's no good for her like that.
Ok, I see. Love can be blind and until she changes her mind about him, all you can do is stick by her. But everytime she asks your opinion, stick to that too. Being a taurus does not make one immune to insecurity. Her stubborness and/or confidence could be misdirected and is just what makes her hang in there longer believing she can help him change -- but in the meantime, she has no peace. She never knows what kind of mood he will be in. Although all of us have to deal with that, it's different when the person is physically abusive. I wish she would dump him. He's no good for her like that.
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