Update on my Capricorn

Last night I saw my Cap man for the first time in 6 months. I am down in Florida taking Carr of business. His friends have been entertaining me and taking me out places, and last night one of his female friends told him to "get his ass over to where I was and take care of this shit". So he came over to the bar where we were at. I didn't see him come in, but all of a sudden a big pair of arms wrapped around me from behind and he hugged me tight for several minutes and would not let go. He smiled at me and the first thing he said to me was "Girl I have read every single text message you have sent me and I kept all of them. I even bought a chip to make extra space on my phone to store them." We went outside to have a serious talk in private because I needed answers. I was shocked to hear him say that even though I had bombarded him with countless nasty texts for months without a response from him, he did not hate me at all. He said he thinks about me often, that he prayed for me when I was seriously ill, and that the reason why he never told me to fuck off or deleted me from Facebook was because he didn't want me to disappear forever. He still wanted to hear from me even if I was angry. However, he still said that I crossed the line with some of the things I said to him. He laughed and said "You are a crazy manipulative psycho bitch, but I still like you. I've never known anyone as persistent as you." I'm not understanding this yet, but he says the reason he never responded to me was because he "didn't have anything to say or a reason to say anything." I think there might be a little B.S. with that one, because he used to talk my ear off all the time and a simple "Hey I'm not mad at you so you can calm down now" response wouldn't have hurt. I'm still angry that he let me continue on like that thinking he hated my guts!! Anyway, he says he's happy I'm moving to Florida and that for some reason he will never tell me to leave his life or delete any of the texts and photos I have ever sent him. I asked him how his future girlfriend or wife might feel about him having thousands of texts & photos of another girl saved on his phone. LOL I feel MUCH better now that I know we aren't enemies and I'm going to try my hardest to not make these same mistakes anymore. I will be checking this board often for advice along the way!!

Now ain't that the cutest thing! I knew he wasn't finished.

I know you may be still a bit upset, but try to just put it in the past if you can. If he didn't sweat that then he'll be around as a friend for a while.

Now I know everyone here was concerned about me going to the same beach he works at. And I will say that when I arrived here on Saturday and went to the beach, I was certain then that he hated me. Because he never once came out of tower to say hello to me or texted me. It was chilly that day, so the lifeguards were closed up inside the towers, but I KNEW he saw me because I was strolling in the water out in front of his tower in an outfit that I knew he would recognize. Well during our talk last night, he informed me that he had indeed saw me and that he was far from unhappy to see me there. He said he watched me disrobe, put on my suntan lotion, and talked about me with his co-worker in the tower. And when I left to go home, the little shit took out his binoculars and watched me walk all the way across the long parking lot to my car so he could see what I was driving!! I had a huge ovarian cyst a few months ago, and I had sent him some photos of my gigantic stomach. He didn't say a word about my condition at the time, which made me think he didn't give a shit about me or if I lived or died. Well apparently he kept all those photos of my enlarged stomach on his phone and showed them to his co-worker in the tower. I'm in really good shape now, so he showed him the picture of me swollen up and said "Can you believe that was her?" And as I said before, when he heard the cyst had been removed, he said a thank you prayer to God. Wow. Anyway, I am going out tonight and I just stopped by his place to pick up something. I am glommed up to the hilt in a black dress and heels. He must have liked what he saw, because he started texting me after I left. LOL He knows I'm going out tonight while he stays in and does homework, so I'm going to refrain from texting him and let him wonder what I'm up to. Things are a little awkward for us right now, so I'm not pushing for anything. Besides, I've still got 23 more weeks left before I move down here for good. All I can say is I'm glad to have him back and I just have to trust that even when he doesn't say anything, he still cares about me.

Also, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I admitted to him that I had been purposely trying to push his buttons to see what would get him to react to me, and he grinned at me and said "Yeah I know you were. And you will never be able to hit those buttons. I know exactly how you operate." LOL! He is right, he understands me very well without me even having to explain it to him!!

Any guy who could listen to a girl say the horrible things I said to him for 3 months and STILL care about her must be an angel!!! Wow...

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Any guy who could listen to a girl say the horrible things I said to him for 3 months and STILL care about her must be an angel!!! Wow...

Now there you go, girl he ain't special lol. He just know that you were doing what you needed to do for YOU to get through what you were going through. He just really likes you as a person.

Well the other night I stayed over with him. It looked like we were probably gonna get intimate, but at the last minute he hesitated and said we shouldn't. That was probably a good idea. I'm a little upset because he admitted to me that right around the time when he began acting shady towards me, he slept with another girl. I KNEW his sudden disappearing probably had to do with him hooking up with another girl!! But he laughed and said he got one of my text messages from me while they were laying together that night, and she never talked to him again. Ha! I realize that I can't stop him from messing around with other girls down here because I'm not livinf here permanently yet and we aren't even a couple. But it still upset me to think about him getting it on with another girl. At the same time however, he began grilling me and asking me "So what's with this guy in Ft. Lauderdale you mentioned, are you two dating or what?" He did NOT ask this in a nice tone of voice. So it's OK for him to have a one-night-stand but it's not OK for me to contemplate seeing someone else? Anyway, I forgot my necklace at his apartment, so last night I texted him to ask if I could get it back soon. He replied for the first time in 3 months to tell me I could swing by to get it really quick. So I ran by to get my necklace from him, and one of his best friends is sitting in his living room playing on a laptop computer. I got my necklace and left quickly like I promised. A few minutes later he sends me this text: "I know ur a proper girl, so sorry if my bud hanging out while u were getting somethin you left behind last night made it awkward..if not nevermind. I suppose I should take his calling me a "proper girl" as a compliment and the reason why he didn't have sex with me the other night. LOL I've already accepted the fact that I'm going to be stuck in the "friend zone" with him for a long time still, but what can you do but accept it.

Headgames...yes ur def in the friend zone. He didn't have to text you after you got the necklace. CLearly his bestfriend asked him WHY you came to get your necklace, probably eluding that you two were intimate...talk about a mind fukk...smh. Don't give into the games. and start seeing that guy in Ft. Lauderdale, and don't dangle THAT dating situation in his face, keep it to yourself.

Yes I'm sure his buddy asked what was up with that after I left, but why would he text me to ask me if I felt awkward about his friend being there? Why not just keep that to himself? What headgame is he trying to play—

He asked you if you felt awkward because HE probably felt awkward too. Probably felt guilty about the night before and putting you in the position to make things seem more than they actually appeared in the presence of his best friend. He was looking for "Covert reassurance"..so if YOU were ok..He'd be ok too.

Well I wasn't bothered by it and I told him so.

Posted by TAURUSbelle
Headgames...yes ur def in the friend zone. He didn't have to text you after you got the necklace. CLearly his bestfriend asked him WHY you came to get your necklace, probably eluding that you two were intimate...talk about a mind fukk...smh. Don't give into the games. and start seeing that guy in Ft. Lauderdale, and don't dangle THAT dating situation in his face, keep it to yourself.

Actually, why shouldn't I dangle it in his face? He seemed more than happy to tell me all about the other girl he hooked up with and kept repeating it over and over (granted he was HAMMERED drunk at the time), so why should I take care to hide what I do from him? He didn't seem too happy at the idea of me hooking up with another guy or dating another guy from Ft. Lauderdale, so why does he get to gloat? In fact, I sent out group texts a few times that included both him and this other guy along with several other friends. When someone replies to a group text, all of the recipients receive the reply too. He admitted to me that when this other guy's reply showed up on his cell phone, he yelled at him!! I'm wondering if his rubbing it on my face that he had a hook-up is some kind of defense mechanism. Otherwise why would he care if I am doing anything at all with other men??

I never thought he hated you, I just don't think he has the energy to deal with your wild mood swings, it's not fun having to figure out how to say the right thing for you to feel secure versus what he's truly thinking and feeling which is very exhausting, doesn't mean he doesn't like you or feel attraction, being that you're emotionally high maintenance I think he'll be careful about crossing the line with you, he's seen your explosive temper and personality so I know he'll think twice before being intimate.

I get your point, tiki. What I was trying to say is I don't think it's fair that he gets to kinda rub it in my face that he hooked up with a girl while simultaneously scolding me and asking me "Who is this guy from Ft. Lauderdale? Are you dating him or what? I yelled at him when I saw his reply to your group text."

By me saying you don't have to dangle the new guy in the Cap's face, is so that you won't be subject to playing games either. Ok,so he told you he slept with someone else?..ok ouch. Maybe he felt guilty and just wanted to get that out and off his chest (hence why he kept repeating it why he was drunk.."A drunk mans words,are a sober mans thoughts" but Now that you're "just friends" you're not obligated to spill everything of your life. Yes he has an idea of someone else's interest in you. That's ALL he needs to know. Its not keepin a secret, its just drawing boundaries to protect what you might have with this new guy. But making it a point to TELL him about you & the new guy you're seeing, would show the Cap that you STILL probably have feelings for him and that the new guy is just a "pawn" to make him jealous. The Cap will see right thru it, and it will give him all the more reason to keep tugging at your heels. That's just MHO/ But to each its own..

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Also, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I admitted to him that I had been purposely trying to push his buttons to see what would get him to react to me, and he grinned at me and said "Yeah I know you were. And you will never be able to hit those buttons. I know exactly how you operate." LOL! He is right, he understands me very well without me even having to explain it to him!!

This went right over your head, didn't it? Pay attention, girlfriend.

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Also, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I admitted to him that I had been purposely trying to push his buttons to see what would get him to react to me, and he grinned at me and said "Yeah I know you were. And you will never be able to hit those buttons. I know exactly how you operate." LOL! He is right, he understands me very well without me even having to explain it to him!!

This went right over your head, didn't it? Pay attention, girlfriend.

click to expand

Yeah I guess it did. I just took it to mean that he understood what I was doing and that he was telling me I will never be able to get him to lose his cool and blow up. Translation??

Posted by MermaidPrincess

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Also, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I admitted to him that I had been purposely trying to push his buttons to see what would get him to react to me, and he grinned at me and said "Yeah I know you were. And you will never be able to hit those buttons. I know exactly how you operate." LOL! He is right, he understands me very well without me even having to explain it to him!!

This went right over your head, didn't it? Pay attention, girlfriend.

Yeah I guess it did. I just took it to mean that he understood what I was doing and that he was telling me I will never be able to get him to lose his cool and blow up. Translation??

click to expand

MP, I read your story from the beginning when he suddenly pull away from you and now he's become so nice and even hugging you. My mind was like.. omg! are all capricorn men like this? They're very hard to understand. It makes me nervous bc i was also dealing with a cappy man rite now. This cappy man I'm dealing with also gv me a confirm signal that he likes me.. Ugh! I'm being so damn patience rite now. Hahhha

Posted by MermaidPrincess

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Also, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I admitted to him that I had been purposely trying to push his buttons to see what would get him to react to me, and he grinned at me and said "Yeah I know you were. And you will never be able to hit those buttons. I know exactly how you operate." LOL! He is right, he understands me very well without me even having to explain it to him!!

This went right over your head, didn't it? Pay attention, girlfriend.

Yeah I guess it did. I just took it to mean that he understood what I was doing and that he was telling me I will never be able to get him to lose his cool and blow up. Translation??

click to expand

Exactly, so pay attention to that. If you like the Ft. Lauderdale guy, then try to move on from all of these feelings for cappy and continue to pursue a relationship with him. "Dangling" the relationship in front of him, as in having intentions for him to feel some type of way, will do you absolutely no good. For one, he'll know what you are trying to do, 2nd it will only sink you into a deeper hole with him, but really it doesn't matter anyway. I honestly think any real relationship potential is gone, atleast for a while.

If you like the Ft. Lauderdale guy, then try to move on from all of these feelings for cappy and continue to pursue a relationship with him. "Dangling" the relationship in front of him, as in having intentions for him to feel some type of way, will do you absolutely no good. For one, he'll know what you are trying to do, 2nd it will only sink you into a deeper hole with him, but really it doesn't matter anyway. I honestly think any real relationship potential is gone, atleast for a while.

Amen! Glad someone agrees with me!

Posted by MermaidPrincess

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Also, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I admitted to him that I had been purposely trying to push his buttons to see what would get him to react to me, and he grinned at me and said "Yeah I know you were. And you will never be able to hit those buttons. I know exactly how you operate." LOL! He is right, he understands me very well without me even having to explain it to him!!

This went right over your head, didn't it? Pay attention, girlfriend.

Yeah I guess it did. I just took it to mean that he understood what I was doing and that he was telling me I will never be able to get him to lose his cool and blow up. Translation??

click to expand

It means that as well as most anything else. This guy sound like an apt observer. My advice, stop wanting this guy's attention. Stay away from his house, stay out of his arms. He doesn't get freebies (loving hugs, sweet lips, etc.) Treat him like you would treat your grandpa. No, really.

Posted by lnana04
... I honestly think any real relationship potential is gone, atleast for a while.

I agree with this. Don't get played.

You know, I just can't believe that he is still being friendly to me after all that has gone on between us!! I don't know how honest he is being, but he actually says he was never even mad at me!! Again, I don't know how true that is because there has to be a better reason for him refusing to respond to me in any way for 3 months than just because he "didn't have anything to say or feel that he needed to say anything". I just think it's so BIZARRE that he never blocked me from texting or calling him or blocked me on Facebook or anything else! I just had two friends recently delete me and block me over a stupid misunderstanding (which is fine with me because I'm really not that sad to see them go). I think it's absolutely crazy that he read and kept each one of my text messages--even the horrible rants I sent to him--and says that he will never delete ANYTHING from me. Like I said, when he hugged me the first thing he did was smile at me and say "Girl, I have read every single message from you all these months, I probably have about 2,000 of them in my phone. I even went and got a chip for my phone to make extra room for all of them." He also did say "You are so crazy!!" but he said it with a laugh and said that he still liked me. I just don't get it at all...any other guy would have said "You bitch! What the Hell were you thinking sending me all those nasty text messages?! Don't ever do that again!!" Maybe this guy is a glutton for punishment?? LOL

On a side note, I sent Cap a text today telling him we should hang out once before I return home, because I won't be back down here again for another 5 months. The night we hung out after our talk, he was hammered. So I was hoping we could spend time together when he is sober. I hinted that we could hang out in a group with his friends, so that he would feel less pressure or awkwardness. Well tonight he is out partying with his friends. Now I know Caps love their freedom, but if he truly "likes" or "cares" about me like he claims he does, then you'd think he would want to take the opportunity to spend some time with me while he can. I'm feeling like a typical hurt Scorpio right now and I am fighting the urge to mention any of this to him, because I know it will just cause more drama. He has a right to hang out with his friends, but you'd think he would want to make sure to hang out with me too since he can see his other friends anytime he wants. This is why I am consulting this board--for guidance and insight so that I don't lose it and blow up again! He's making it hard for me to believe that he "cares about me" and "likes me" as he said the other night. 😢

Sounds like you are about to ride that Psycho rollercoaster again...smh. Sorry hun. You are REALLY setting yourself up. As for the Cap saving every single one of your texts its probably so that he can turn them into the authorities, in the event your wonderful "psycho thriller tirade productions" goes off kilter. Don't take it as a compliment that he calls you crazy with a smile on his face. He's playing it smart.

Invest your last few days and energy in the NEW guy. I'm sure he'll appreciate your company more than the Cap. If you fixate on the Cap during these last few days,you might wind up disappointed. he's only going to come up with lame excuses until you LEAVE. I've seen this scenario played out waaay too many times. Now that you two are just friends, he is NOT obligated to see you or spend time with you like he did before. Think and BE smart hun. KNOW your value and worth..Let him go.

I'm not seeing a new guy. He annoyed me so I let it drift. And if Cap was gonna turn me in, I'm sure he would have done it long ago when I was threatening to slap him in the face.

Yeah, I agree with Taurusbelle that hes most likely playing it safe.

Also Caps are also known for being the "father" of the zodiac. He can care about you just how he does everyone, then everyone hes gotten to know(You), then everyone he's ever loved.

What im trying to say is dont take his words, or even his actions, and think that you are special "in his eyes." Im sure as a scorp you can relate to only a very few people truly being special to you.

Him saying he cares is because the two of you did form a bond, and youve confided in him so he understands and possibly even feels for you, and thats where it stops for now. He seems to be a more friendly cap, so hes going to form a bit of a bond with many people he comes in contact with in his life.

Like I said before, 6months is not a long time, and we care for people, in general. theres over a billion people in the world with us crossing paths with thousands in our lifetime while trying to find the one. Where do you REALLY think you fit into this? Or even his possible pursuit to find his future wife?

I just dont want you to take things from him as more than what they are.

Forget it, he hates me. Earlier today we were texting each other about budgeting money and finding a cheap apartment for me to live in down here when I start school. Then suddenly I get THIS message from him:

"As much as I don't like being an asshole, I have to be straight with you since I couldn't the other night. Which by the way was the result of alcohol and it won't ever happen again so please don't get the wrong idea from it. I only went to tell you to your face, what I had wanted to tell you since I stopped txting u in—?November.. I went to say that your a crazy biotch, which u already admitted! I did say that a few times I recall but wasn't being clear I guess. I know your persistent so I made myself blackout drunk before I even walked there to reduce any reaction of mine to you sexually. U got lucky I'm not a mean blackout nor mean to suprises when I wake up. ?? We dont have a future as anything more than acquaintances at this point.??I just don't have the will to understand you or even the ??time to give what a new friend deserves at that matter. If I see you around or even hanging out with my friends, I won't care or be mean to you but this should be a pretty good insinuation of my intents. I never wanted to be an asshole like this and I could have said this so many different ways that may not be as upsetting to you, if at all, as a text could. if I had the dough to, I would have taken you out to dinner, out of respect, and given you the closure you wanted??the right way."

And here is the rest of our conversation:

Me:??Wow. I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry you don't want us to be friends because that is all I wanted from you. And I'm really hurt that you forcibly got yourself drunk just so that you could face & talk to me. There is no need for u to call me nasty names like that. I admit I have acted pretty crazy these last several months, but u have no idea what I've been dealing with and I don't expect u to.??I've been in my own private Hell for a long time and this move is to help me have the life & future I want for myself. I don't expect u to understand anything about me, although it would help. I'm sorry that I made u hate my guts or feel disgust towards me, because that's the last thing I ever wanted. I've always thought that people speak the truth when they're drunk, and I recall u calling me a fucking bitch many times but saying that u still liked me as a person. I have to wonder now why u have kept all of those texts & photos of me. U should have deleted them long ago, they shouldn't hold any meaning to u if that's how u feel.??I remember asking u many times if u wanted me to delete your number & disappear, but u never gave me an answer. Why didn't u just tell me to do so via text long ago?? I would have done so instead of trying to reach out to u periodically & worrying about what was wrong.??See u have to be straight (and sober) with me John. If u didn't want me to speak to u anymore, u should have just told me do long ago instead of letting this carry on. However, the other night u told me u never told me to go away because u didn't really want me to. So I really don't know what's up with u, u really confuse me sometimes!"

Him:??I'm more of a face to face kinda guy. And you were saying you were coming down anyway. And No I was already drunk when my friend asked me to stop ignoring you.??with an altered state of mind I made the call to be more drunk to avoid being able to make other bad decisions, which u know would of happen so don't lie to yourself. If I had sex with you, I would felt the need to lop off my dick in the morning instead of just hurlng after you left. I don't hate you or even feel disgusted of you...its disgust of myself for doing things I shouldn't have. Do you see how this could make a friendship awkward?"

Me: "Don't beat yourself up.??If u truly don't want to ever have sex with me again, I will see to it that it never happens. No matter how I may feel sometimes, at the end of the day I always have respect for u. And I don't wouldn't want u to do anything that would make u feel bad about yourself. God's honest truth.??U are not the first male friend I've ever had who has wanted to fuck my brains out. I have several guy friends who I know feel some lust towards me, but we have never acted on it."

Him: "I don't lust towards you..again your confused but I'm not surprised. Nor did I want to Fuck your brains out..got it? Good!"

Me: "What I meant is that I have other male friends who have been tempted to sleep with me when they're around me, but we never act on it. You're hardly alone in that"

Him: "That's still not me...and your cue to stop texting me was given a few txt ago, if you don't mind."

Good, he's not a player and doesn't want to lead you on, decent man. I actually thought you were making the whole thing up about the way he was acting when he saw you as, basically, what he texted to you is what I had been thinking all along.

I sure as hell hope that you have learned a lesson from this whole dramatastic fiasco! Oh, and for your own peace of mind, you may want to choose another beach...

I just don't understand him at all...if he feels THAT disgusted at the thought of being intimate with me, then why did he feel that he has to "get blackout drunk to avoid reacting sexually to me"— Alcohol doesn't make a person not want to have sex, it lowers your inhibitions and makes you want to have sex MORE!! And getting drunk is hardly the best way to talk to someone about being serious. Yes he called me a bitch that night, but he also told me that he still cared about me and that he had kept every photo of me I had ever sent him...even the ones of my swollen belly when I has my ovarian cyst. Why would he even keep stuff like that?? It should have no meaning to him and should have been deleted long ago!! On the day he saw me at the beach again, he was watching me get undressed and showed the pic of my belly to his co-worker and said "Can you believe this was her a few months ago?" And later on he apologized to me (while drunk) in case I has felt awkward when I walked past the tower and heard laughter. He said "we were talking about something unrelated to you and we were laughing, and when you walked nearby I was afraid you overheard us and might have thought we were laughing at you." Why would he even care about how I feel or anything else if what he just said above is true?!?

"If I had sex with you, I would felt the need to lop off my dick in the morning instead of just hurlng after you left."

I like this line the best...
(reminds me a little of myself)

No lildol, I wasn't making any of that up. He gave me a big long hug when he saw me and told me that he would never tell me to fuck off because he didn't really want me to go. Whatever happened to "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts"??

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Him: "I don't lust towards you..again your confused but I'm not surprised. Nor did I want to Fuck your brains out..got it? Good!"

Me: "What I meant is that I have other male friends who have been tempted to sleep with me when they're around me, but we never act on it. You're hardly alone in that"

Him: "That's still not me...and your cue to stop texting me was given a few txt ago, if you don't mind."

WELL if this ain't The moment of TRUTH, I won't ever know WHAT is.

If you don't get it now MP..You never will.
I would say this case is OFFICIALLY CLOSED.

MP just please stop trying to figure out his words and actions. This right here, is why he hates himself right now. Whatever it is he did do, done created a big ole mess and he's trying to just make it stop.

Damn these Capricorn men for saying one thing, then another, and then doing something even more opposite!! What he is saying right now is the exact opposite of what he said when he was drunk. And even though his brain was impaired, we all know that the truth comes out when we're drunk. However I knew that the real reason he stopped talking tonne wasn't "just because he had nothing to say". I knew there had to be more to it than that. He WAS mad at me, he just couldn't bring himself to say it to my face because he thinks I'm physically attractive and it clams him up. Hence his google-eyes and sappy smile the other night when I stopped by to pick up my necklace all glammed up. Typical male!!

Posted by MermaidPrincess
Damn these Capricorn men for saying one thing, then another, and then doing something even more opposite!! What he is saying right now is the exact opposite of what he said when he was drunk. And even though his brain was impaired, we all know that the truth comes out when we're drunk. However I knew that the real reason he stopped talking tonne wasn't "just because he had nothing to say". I knew there had to be more to it than that. He WAS mad at me, he just couldn't bring himself to say it to my face because he thinks I'm physically attractive and it clams him up. Hence his google-eyes and sappy smile the other night when I stopped by to pick up my necklace all glammed up. Typical male!!

I'm sure he's physically attracted to you. He's admitted that in many ways. AND? What is being physically attracted to you suppose to mean? Finding a guy that likes your looks/body, or wants to sleep with you is the extremely easy part.

It's just maddening that his physical attraction to me prevents him from being able to be 100% honest with me to my face. That's why he hems and haws and says "I still like you" to my face even though he hates my guts.

Posted by MermaidPrincess
It's just maddening that his physical attraction to me prevents him from being able to be 100% honest with me to my face. That's why he hems and haws and says "I still like you" to my face even though he hates my guts.

Didn't he also say through text that he doesn't dislike you, isn't disgusted by you, nor does he hate your guts. Why don't you believe him? You are pursuing this like you want something more from him, and he's trying to let you know it ain't happening. Talking about wanting friendship, yet mentioning how he's attracted to you etc. is a contradiction on your part as well.

Inana nailed it. You lied when you said you only want him as a friend. Ok, he doesnt want YOU as a friend. So move on. I'm sure you have other friends, so what's the big deal about this one? cus your addicted to him? Obsessed? That's how it looks. He could not have been more blunt when he said if he slept with you, he'd feel like caca in the morning and have to Bobbitt his pan stick.

Reality sucks. We are all sorry you're hurt but take a look at YOUR part in this destruction so you won't repeat it.

We had a talk in person a little while ago SOBER. He says we can always be friends, but he does not want to be my Go-To Guy that I text all the time and constantly ask for help from. He says he has his own plate full right now. And he says I text and talk too much. I agree with him. I never really wanted to text him as often as I did, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. I guess he was the only sliver of happiness I had in my life and I held onto him with both hands. I wish he could have spelled these things out to me long ago. Someone here was correct, he says he has kept all of my messages in case I ever backtrack and needs proof of something I said before to show to me. I told him he can just go ahead and delete all of that; he doesn't need it anymore. He says he still listens to and takes to heart some of the advice I have given him before, and I was honored to hear him say that. Now that he has explicitly said he doesn't want me to constantly tell him about my every thought, which I already knew deep down, I won't do it anymore. I just need for people to bluntly spell things out for me, because hints or innuendos often don't work for me.

"I just need for people to bluntly spell things out for me, because hints or innuendos often don't work for me."

Did you tell him that? There are some Caps that are extremely blunt, but then there are some that don't want to hurt feelings. I guess after you've confided in him about certain things, he tried to be careful with what he said, and how he said it to you. I hope things are truly nothing but positive for you from here on.

I'm sure I've told him before that I need him to be blunt. But he says he hates to hurt his friends' feelings. He says I do not have to avoid him and that he wouldn't even care if we were neighbors. He says he just doesn't want to have a 2-hour conversation with me every time we meet. Once again I apologized for the way I had acted months ago, but he just shook his head and said "Look if you're crazy then you are who you are. I'm not judging you. You're crazy and I'm an asshole." Unfortunately he will never be able to have an understanding of what it is that makes me so unhappy, and honestly I don't want him to ever know. He says we all have our own demons, so maybe he doesn't need to know mine. Even though we are seeing eye to eye right now, I still can't help but feel that there is a huge hole in my heart. Even if we are friends, I don't know if he'll ever treat me the same as his other friends. I think he will always view me in a different light than everyone else, no matter how much I change my behavior. I will always be tainted to him. :-/

Aww. There will always be consequences to your actions, which is why we're(Caps) so hesitant with things, but I believe we've ALL been in a position where we've let emotions get the best of us and kinda "screwed" up a situation before. I know I have. It's human, and it'll happen from time to time. It's life. All you can do is learn from this and there's no telling what the future will hold, even between you and him. Doesn't sound like he's going anywhere. It's just best to work on whatever it is that makes you unhappy, in general cause honestly, it would have surfaced eventually, there are some things you just can't escape, and I'm sure things will turn around for you for the best.

Elusive he is a moron for thinking that getting super drunk would PREVENT him from having sex with me. As it was, he was all over me that night! I don't know what he was thinking by purposely getting that drunk. It's MUCH easier for us to behave ourselves when we're sober. You sure didn't see us grabbing at each other when we spoke in person sober today!

When I saw the OP start up a new thread with all these renewed hopes for going somewhere with this guy I just waited out the days until THIS ended up being the ultimate outcome.

I knew from the first go-round this was all a nuclear hot mess especially given the high level of emotional in your face instability being justified as merely a Scorpio trait while continued obliviousness to consequences (a true Scorpio trait) reigned supreme. Never doubted that Mr. Capricorn hadn't made a sudden about face where MP was concerned. My man is a Capricorn and he's had his fair share of psycho ex-girlfriends that probably make MP look like a girl scout. He was attracted them for one reason or another but a Cap man isn't going to put up with that kind of emotional drainage for very long. And trying to push their buttons??_well let me just say that my Cap said I do not want to see that side of him if at all possible because when you do push those buttons that sea-goat temper is nothing nice which is exactly what his psycho ex??s got off doing and why they ended up losing their minds over him and him in the bargain.

This is a blessing for the OP and I hope she sees it as such and moves on to greener pastures with a man who gets off on the extremism she embraces in her relationships. Trying to convert the mild mannered over to this realm isn't going to work as her Cap just proved.

We still talk, but it's awkward. It's like two acquaintances trying to make small talk. However today I somehow cut my leg while at the beach. I went to one of the other lifeguards thinking I had gotten stung by a jellyfish. But he came over to my towel as I was leaving and handed me some stuff to take home with me to use on my cut. I think it will be quite some time before we will feel 100% at ease around each other again.

MP is going to make sure she stays at that beach too LoL!

He doesn't have to do shit for me. There are 5 other lifeguards on duty besides him. In fact I went to someone else for help, not to him. We're both making minimum effort to be friendly towards each other, but it's going to take a long time.