Waiting for a Cap to come back to me.AGAIN.(Tikki)
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by LibraLove30 on Tuesday, July 9, 2013 and has 13 replies.
I've been in a relationship with my cap for 1 year and 3 months. A month ago, I noticed that he doesn't do what he used to do before.
Like: He doesn't ask about my day anymore, even if I asked about his.
We would always send the same texts everyday (goodmorning, Have a nice lunch, goodnight).
We would fight constantly, where he would WALK AWAY from me over very simple arguments.
In other words, he got bored of me... He wanted to break up with me one time, he cried that time. I told him to just leave me then, although he was VERY hesitant and it took him 3 hours for him to leave. When he left, I called and he got back together with me.
Then whenever we hung out, he doesn't seem to be thrilled to see me anymore.
So I texted him one night telling him that I can give him space, he immediately replied with "are you sure?". I didn't want to, but I think it was for the best.
I got mad at him and cursed at him. He told me he was sorry.
Just a little history, he broke up with me before, although he came back to me after a month on Valentines day because he thought I was with someone else. So right now I'm trying to be strong and moving on while waiting for him.
I know caps are extremely slow, but what should I do to get him back? Should I initiate contact? Should I go after him and make the efforts this time?
Please give me strategies on how to get my capricorn back...
P.S. If ever you're gonna say things like "move on he isn't worth it", don't bother commenting anymore. I'm looking for advices on how to get my capricorn back, not comfort on moving on. I need to develop a strategy.
BTW. We're both guys.
Like: He doesn't ask about my day anymore, even if I asked about his.
We would always send the same texts everyday (goodmorning, Have a nice lunch, goodnight).
We would fight constantly, where he would WALK AWAY from me over very simple arguments.
In other words, he got bored of me... He wanted to break up with me one time, he cried that time. I told him to just leave me then, although he was VERY hesitant and it took him 3 hours for him to leave. When he left, I called and he got back together with me.
Then whenever we hung out, he doesn't seem to be thrilled to see me anymore.
So I texted him one night telling him that I can give him space, he immediately replied with "are you sure?". I didn't want to, but I think it was for the best.
I got mad at him and cursed at him. He told me he was sorry.
Just a little history, he broke up with me before, although he came back to me after a month on Valentines day because he thought I was with someone else. So right now I'm trying to be strong and moving on while waiting for him.
I know caps are extremely slow, but what should I do to get him back? Should I initiate contact? Should I go after him and make the efforts this time?
Please give me strategies on how to get my capricorn back...
P.S. If ever you're gonna say things like "move on he isn't worth it", don't bother commenting anymore. I'm looking for advices on how to get my capricorn back, not comfort on moving on. I need to develop a strategy.
BTW. We're both guys.
Any advices anyone? 
Just to add. I've kept my class. When he left, I never contacted him. I moved on, and I didn't actually think much about him. Maybe because he already left me before, and just got used to it. Although there are times where I feel like crying because I do miss him.
Another info. When we were breaking up, I told him that if he were to leave, then he must NEVER come back. After I told him that, he seemed even more hesitant like a child saying "What?... I can never see you again?...." This is the reason why he stayed at my apartment for 3 hours just to have a proper closure, he didn't want to leave. He kept placing his head on my thigh.
Although he told his friend: "Do you know how it feels? In my head I know that I don't want to continue this anymore, but whenever I see him I want to be with him."
This just complicate a lot of things... Any tips from Capricorns out there?
Just to add. I've kept my class. When he left, I never contacted him. I moved on, and I didn't actually think much about him. Maybe because he already left me before, and just got used to it. Although there are times where I feel like crying because I do miss him.
Another info. When we were breaking up, I told him that if he were to leave, then he must NEVER come back. After I told him that, he seemed even more hesitant like a child saying "What?... I can never see you again?....
" This is the reason why he stayed at my apartment for 3 hours just to have a proper closure, he didn't want to leave. He kept placing his head on my thigh. Although he told his friend: "Do you know how it feels? In my head I know that I don't want to continue this anymore, but whenever I see him I want to be with him."
This just complicate a lot of things... Any tips from Capricorns out there?
We are kind of head over heart people.
Sorry you're having to go through this.
Sorry you're having to go through this.
You must be stable, dependable, reliable, trustworthy, exhibit good character, strong, confident, humorous, worthy, self-reliant, not flaky, do what you say you're going to do and all that jazz. If you can show him that (it takes time for you to prove it), he might come back.
If someone I truly care about tells me to go away and stay away for good I do so. I would assume that's what you really want. If I 'promised' you it would stay away I would keep my word even if it hurts me doing so.
So if you have decided you want him back, the only way to way to do so is to take the initiative...
Be honest about why you told him that at the time, show him you figured it out and that you are a lot more stable now, emotionally. If you don't know yet you need to wait and figure yourself out first, otherwise this will happen again.
And like Truecap said, it will take quite some time for him to fully trust you again, to open up again. And I mean truly open up, not show you the same level of intimacy you've seen before but more.
Be stable, confident, not break down emotionally again.
So if you have decided you want him back, the only way to way to do so is to take the initiative...
Be honest about why you told him that at the time, show him you figured it out and that you are a lot more stable now, emotionally. If you don't know yet you need to wait and figure yourself out first, otherwise this will happen again.
And like Truecap said, it will take quite some time for him to fully trust you again, to open up again. And I mean truly open up, not show you the same level of intimacy you've seen before but more.
Be stable, confident, not break down emotionally again.
We are kind of head over heart people.
True!
Posted by truecap
You must be stable, dependable, reliable, trustworthy, exhibit good character, strong, confident, humorous, worthy, self-reliant, not flaky, do what you say you're going to do and all that jazz. If you can show him that (it takes time for you to prove it), he might come back.click to expand
Sounds like a perfect independent partner to me haha. Although yes, I had been instilling these characteristics in me ever since we broke up. I never text him, and my life goes on. I've been having a wonderful time without him. My question now is, what do I do now to get him back now that I have these qualities?
Not to mention, we didn't even have a proper closure. I just texted him that I would give him time. I guess caps most likely doesn't have proper closures.
If someone I truly care about tells me to go away and stay away for good I do so. I would assume that's what you really want. If I 'promised' you it would stay away I would keep my word even if it hurts me doing so.
Just to clarify, I simply blurted that out because he wanted to break up with me. I told him never to come back because I don't want him to go back to his same mistakes where whenever he gets bored of me, he would break up, and whenever he misses me, he would make up with me again.
Another clarification, that night, when I told him never to come back and when he was breaking up, we still got back together that night.
How we really broke up was when I texted him to give him space.
So if you have decided you want him back, the only way to way to do so is to take the initiative...
Is this the right move? He did break up with me.. so I don't think I should be the person to take the initiative...
How do you Caps see this move?
If you don't know yet you need to wait and figure yourself out first, otherwise this will happen again.
Yep, been thinking about that. Although, I don't know what I can do to stop this pattern of breaking up and making up again if ever we DO get back together.
Be stable, confident, not break down emotionally again.click to expand
Yeah... Thanks for that advice. I'm trying not to control breaking down emotionally.
This sounds like a mess though. You guys fight and you've broken up more than once but you still want a relationship with this person? Then you say how "whenever he gets bored of me, he would break up, and whenever he misses me, he would make up with me again" (which imo sounds pretty inconsiderate and selfish) and that "I never text him, and my life goes on. I've been having a wonderful time without him" (which is good-- you should keep that up 
!) yet you're STILL trying to get back with him? This isn't really adding up properly at all.
I agree with Metoo that you might have "makeup to breakup syndrome" or something like that. I doubt that you're thinking clearly and since you don't want to hear that you should move on, you might end up wasting a ton of time and energy on trying to save a relationship that shows multiple signs that it should officially end.
I wish you luck, but please think this through a bit more!
!) yet you're STILL trying to get back with him? This isn't really adding up properly at all.I agree with Metoo that you might have "makeup to breakup syndrome" or something like that. I doubt that you're thinking clearly and since you don't want to hear that you should move on, you might end up wasting a ton of time and energy on trying to save a relationship that shows multiple signs that it should officially end.
I wish you luck, but please think this through a bit more!
Posted by CapintheHat
This sounds like a mess though. You guys fight and you've broken up more than once but you still want a relationship with this person? Then you say how "whenever he gets bored of me, he would break up, and whenever he misses me, he would make up with me again" (which imo sounds pretty inconsiderate and selfish) and that "I never text him, and my life goes on. I've been having a wonderful time without him" (which is good-- you should keep that up
I agree with Metoo that you might have "makeup to breakup syndrome" or something like that. I doubt that you're thinking clearly and since you don't want to hear that you should move on, you might end up wasting a ton of time and energy on trying to save a relationship that shows multiple signs that it should officially end.
I wish you luck, but please think this through a bit more!
Yes. It is F8cked up. haha. This would sound corny, but it's because I still love the person. I noticed that whenever he breaks up with me, his eyes are always teary, and I can see it in his eyes that deep down he does love me. Well he does tell me he loves me even after breaking up.
We've been through a lot. I just thought that capricorns ALWAYS want a lot of space for themselves, that's why my cap is doing this to me.
So I've decided to love the person despite these traits. Accept him. I do hope you could respect my decision.
I'm not giving up.
That's why I need tips, advices, insights, and strategy help from Capricorns. I want to strategize and gain back control. Make my capricorn under my spell.
CAPS! Put yourself in his shoes, what would you think your partner "could" do where you would fall in love with that person again?
And realize that you made a huge mistake and want this person back?
Any more insights Cappys??? 
I'm beginning to wonder if you're a drama queen.
Caps don't like drama. Maybe when you get all into the drama, he wants to get away from, so he breaks up with you because he's tired of the drama. He probably cares for you and really likes you, but the drama is too much?
- just a thought -
- just a thought -
Hmmm not quite. He IS the dramatic person in always walking out on the fights haha.
Although how can you tell I'm dramatic? I am sensitive though..
What can I do to get him back?
Although how can you tell I'm dramatic? I am sensitive though..
What can I do to get him back?
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