waiting vs. moving on
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by urgha on Monday, December 16, 2013 and has 9 replies.
Ready for another despreate-in-love-with-a-slow-capricorn story?
I have this cappie classmate, libra moon, venus in scorpio, pisces mars.. a very shy guy but very serious, focused and doesn't want ladies distractions.
I'm a pisces, a dramatic scorpio moon..a late bloomer, some will call me pretty but had never been with someone because of certain circumstances, don't know much about dealing with guys, thin-skinned, etc.. I liked this cap silently and I think he liked me back. We have a good synastry in general but our mercuries are square each other, arguments happen.
A friend gave me a stupid advice to just go up to him while we're alone and kiss him, just like that. STUPID, but I tried because I am inexperienced, ignorant and stupid I guess..obviously a BAD IDEA. the guy freaks out, we laughed about it then but spent the next 2 months staring/avoiding each other.
Massive bad tension! We are weirdly close to each other though. He is naturally super conscious about me, makes sure he doesn't sit beside me, say my name in a conversation or get caught looking at me, he pretends he isn't listening closely to every conversation I have with others. But will mention a detail about it weeks later.. maybe it's his personality and he's generally attentive? when we talk amongst friends he stares at my eyes, he turns red and shakes if we're relatively alone. He looked upset when a guy was hitting on me and came dressed well the next day and looked cold towards me. I once walked in a room and he was dancing and he stiffened and stopped when he saw me. I freak him out
I'm sure I glare at him like mad too.. blame my scorp moon :/
I try to give him space, when I become friendly he responds nicely, but I feel his need of space so then I ignore him and I feel he gets sensitive about it.. I know little about balance.
Everybody tells me to forget about him, but still I do think the guy likes me. BUT IT MIGHT BE ALL IN MY HEAD. I know that after my stupid move, asking him out will be rejected for sure and there's little way to approach him or make myself approachable.
With the holidays we won't see each other for a while, a rest from the daily tension.
Is there a way to know? Do I move on like everybody advices me to? or hope that distance will help him sort his feelings out? Do I try to initiate a cyber contact and text and stuff or just keep a low profile? is it true that with the right person it doesn't take this much hard work?
I have this cappie classmate, libra moon, venus in scorpio, pisces mars.. a very shy guy but very serious, focused and doesn't want ladies distractions.
I'm a pisces, a dramatic scorpio moon..a late bloomer, some will call me pretty but had never been with someone because of certain circumstances, don't know much about dealing with guys, thin-skinned, etc.. I liked this cap silently and I think he liked me back. We have a good synastry in general but our mercuries are square each other, arguments happen.
A friend gave me a stupid advice to just go up to him while we're alone and kiss him, just like that. STUPID, but I tried because I am inexperienced, ignorant and stupid I guess..obviously a BAD IDEA. the guy freaks out, we laughed about it then but spent the next 2 months staring/avoiding each other.
Massive bad tension! We are weirdly close to each other though. He is naturally super conscious about me, makes sure he doesn't sit beside me, say my name in a conversation or get caught looking at me, he pretends he isn't listening closely to every conversation I have with others. But will mention a detail about it weeks later.. maybe it's his personality and he's generally attentive? when we talk amongst friends he stares at my eyes, he turns red and shakes if we're relatively alone. He looked upset when a guy was hitting on me and came dressed well the next day and looked cold towards me. I once walked in a room and he was dancing and he stiffened and stopped when he saw me. I freak him out
I'm sure I glare at him like mad too.. blame my scorp moon :/ I try to give him space, when I become friendly he responds nicely, but I feel his need of space so then I ignore him and I feel he gets sensitive about it.. I know little about balance.
Everybody tells me to forget about him, but still I do think the guy likes me. BUT IT MIGHT BE ALL IN MY HEAD. I know that after my stupid move, asking him out will be rejected for sure and there's little way to approach him or make myself approachable.
With the holidays we won't see each other for a while, a rest from the daily tension.
Is there a way to know? Do I move on like everybody advices me to? or hope that distance will help him sort his feelings out? Do I try to initiate a cyber contact and text and stuff or just keep a low profile? is it true that with the right person it doesn't take this much hard work?
He just sounds really scared and really nervous. Painfully shy and afraid to go out on a limb perhaps. Whether he likes you or not, he may not have the courage to do anything about it.
When I was in high school, if I had a crush on someone I would avoid them like the plague. It just made me extremely uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to handle myself. I was so afraid of looking or sounding stupid, I let my shyness take completely over. In fact, one guy I like so much actually asked me after school if I wanted to sit in his car in the school parking lot and listen to a tape (I'm old, lol!) he had bought of a band we both liked. I was so excited, but so uncomfortable I couldn't wait to get out of the car. Needless, to say, he probably sensed I wanted to get away from him, he didn't give me any more attention after that.
When I was in high school, if I had a crush on someone I would avoid them like the plague. It just made me extremely uncomfortable and I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to handle myself. I was so afraid of looking or sounding stupid, I let my shyness take completely over. In fact, one guy I like so much actually asked me after school if I wanted to sit in his car in the school parking lot and listen to a tape (I'm old, lol!) he had bought of a band we both liked. I was so excited, but so uncomfortable I couldn't wait to get out of the car. Needless, to say, he probably sensed I wanted to get away from him, he didn't give me any more attention after that.
It sounds like your cap guy needs to learn to relax a bit. I'll let you in on a little secret about capricorn men. They liked to be chased, reassured and doted on, but subtly. That's probably the reason why he came dressed nicely the next day after he saw another guy flirting with you. He wants you to notice him! I say go after him, but do so strategically and cleverly like only a Pisces woman could.
If you want to lighten the tension and make things more approachable, don't ask him out romantically. Find another way to get into his world. Maybe, Ask him for his help or advice on something you know he has knowledge about. We like to help and teach others.
If you want to lighten the tension and make things more approachable, don't ask him out romantically. Find another way to get into his world. Maybe, Ask him for his help or advice on something you know he has knowledge about. We like to help and teach others.
I think your friend gave you some bad advice there about this Cap-guy. It sounds like you breaking the physical contact boundary first freaked him out. Ah well, live and learn. Caps like to go slow, steadily, and appear in control. My opinion is to let him break the boundaries in the future. But you could encourage him along the way rather than ignoring him because your feelings are hurt.
CreativeCap made some points I agree with:
CreativeCap
"It sounds like your cap guy needs to learn to relax a bit. I'll let you in on a little secret about capricorn men. They liked to be chased, reassured and doted on, but subtly. That's probably the reason why he came dressed nicely the next day after he saw another guy flirting with you. He wants you to notice him! I say go after him, but do so strategically and cleverly like only a Pisces woman could.
If you want to lighten the tension and make things more approachable, don't ask him out romantically. Find another way to get into his world."
CreativeCap made some points I agree with:
CreativeCap
"It sounds like your cap guy needs to learn to relax a bit. I'll let you in on a little secret about capricorn men. They liked to be chased, reassured and doted on, but subtly. That's probably the reason why he came dressed nicely the next day after he saw another guy flirting with you. He wants you to notice him! I say go after him, but do so strategically and cleverly like only a Pisces woman could.
If you want to lighten the tension and make things more approachable, don't ask him out romantically. Find another way to get into his world."
Try to be his friend. A friend with a soft crush can be nice. Don't pressure yourself or him at this point in time. TrueCap is correct. You are still in high school. There's no need to rush.
Sounds as though you both shy and would benefit each other by spacing each other and be friends and then see what happens later.
This ^^^^ is the one to listen to.
Good luck!
Good luck!
If I didn't know any better I'd think that friend was trying to sabotage you o_0. Kissing someone out of nowhere is ridiculous. A much better idea would've been if you used that alone time to get to know him better or to tell him how you feel. That guy is freaked the F out and even though I think he likes you he's just trying to sort things out after the kissing incident.
But instead of dealing with all this awkward mess try talking to him about this directly. Being more upfront will help you know if you should move on or not.
But instead of dealing with all this awkward mess try talking to him about this directly. Being more upfront will help you know if you should move on or not.
Thanks everybody, I know I sound like a teenager, but we're both around our mid-twenties. This is sure encouraging! I will try to gently be his friend and see if he gets less wary.
@CapintheHat I now know so, so embarrassing I die. I thought about talking to him about it but so afraid a confrontation will push him away further, seeing he hadn't made up his mind and it will sure backfire. But maybe I'm overly cautious.
What would be the best approach to talk to him? apologize?
@CapintheHat I now know so, so embarrassing I die. I thought about talking to him about it but so afraid a confrontation will push him away further, seeing he hadn't made up his mind and it will sure backfire. But maybe I'm overly cautious.
What would be the best approach to talk to him? apologize?
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