Where to go from here? Cappy guy advice

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by cap2333 on Thursday, April 13, 2017 and has 11 replies.
So I've been talking to this Capricorn guy for the last couple of months (I'm a cap girl). We haven't had the chance to actually go out because he lives in another country (he travels here a lot for work). He's five years older than me and owns a creative agency which I admire because we're in similar fields of work (he also attended one of the same schools as I). Last week we were finally able to get together and he turned out to be the shyest guy I've ever pursued, but also one of the sweetest most caring. We got dinner and then got drinks at a bar by my place, it took half the date to get him to open up enough to even sit next to me. But after that he warmed up really quick and let me get real close to him, and then I was able to ask him home. As soon as we got home he reverted back to his shyness but I was able to make him comfortable and we had a pleasant night together. He actually spent the whole night which surprised me as hes always very busy and strictly "business". Not only that but he was incredibly affectionate and literally held me the whole night (and I move around a lot so that's no easy task). I had work and he had a meeting the next morning so we both had to wake up early and go about our day. We tried to see each other again but he was busy with other commitments and I was busy with work so it didn't work out. I sent him a good bye text the day he was leaving and he said that we may see each other again (also his English isn't super great so I wasn't sure exactly what he was trying to say). since then I haven't heard from him and I'm not sure if I should reach out. I think I may have caught a bit more feelings than I thought I would but I would really love to keep in touch with him, just not sure if that's what he would want or not? Also I doubt he would ever express that to me or approach me first as I've done mostly all of the pursuing. He also definitely seems to be rationality > feelings kinda guy and with the age difference and distance I'm not so sure how serious he takes me (though his long term goal would be to live here again). If anyone has some insight on what he may be feeling or any advice I'd greatly appreciate it! Thanks
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What's his moon/venus/mars

In fact, do you know his full chart? Makes things easier to estimate

Your chart would also be appreciated
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Posted by EtherealTraveler
What's his moon/venus/mars

In fact, do you know his full chart? Makes things easier to estimate

Your chart would also be appreciated
I'm a

cappy sun

Aries moon

Scorpio rising

Venus in Sagittarius


He's a cappy sun and a cappy rising he didn't remember the rest hahaha
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Posted by EtherealTraveler
What's his moon/venus/mars

In fact, do you know his full chart? Makes things easier to estimate

Your chart would also be appreciated
I looked it up and his moon seems to be in Sagittarius

Venus in Aquarius

Mars in Sagittarius
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Posted by Capz
seems like an healthy couple
Judging by our charts or what I said?
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Posted by cap2333
Posted by EtherealTraveler
What's his moon/venus/mars

In fact, do you know his full chart? Makes things easier to estimate

Your chart would also be appreciated
I'm a

cappy sun

Aries moon

Scorpio rising

Venus in Sagittarius


He's a cappy sun and a cappy rising he didn't remember the rest hahaha
click to expand
It's your Aries moon that pursued him. My Cap also has an Aries moon and reading your story is like reading it from his perspective with me being the guy that intrigues you. From the sounds of it you guys had sex?
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Cap2333 I'm curious as to why you're wasting your time on something long distance if your end goal is to be serious with a guy. If you truly desire a REAL relationship then why not date local?

For all you know this guy could be married or living with his long term significant other. The travelling type jobs give guys like him ample of options which is why you're experiencing the pull back silent treatment. The pull back silent treatment IS the answer, it's his way of slowing things down if he's still interested and if he's not interested at all it's his way of letting you down without having say it to you.

He know how to reach you, he has your contact info, he held you in his arms all night therefore he KNOW you desire him so don't chase him, if he want it he will come and get it.

In the meantime get busy enhancing your dating life. Tuck him away until he surfaces again but until then go out on a date and enjoy yourself.
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Posted by Virgorean
Posted by cap2333
Posted by EtherealTraveler
What's his moon/venus/mars

In fact, do you know his full chart? Makes things easier to estimate

Your chart would also be appreciated
I'm a

cappy sun

Aries moon

Scorpio rising

Venus in Sagittarius


He's a cappy sun and a cappy rising he didn't remember the rest hahaha
It's your Aries moon that pursued him. My Cap also has an Aries moon and reading your story is like reading it from his perspective with me being the guy that intrigues you. From the sounds of it you guys had sex?
click to expand
Awww really how funny! Fire is quite strong lol! And yes we did, which is very unlike me I have never brought someone home on the first date before (or the second actually lol). But we've been talking for so long I was very comfortable with him. Also I know how hard he works and he never seems to be able to fully relax so I just wanted to offer him comfort and an opportunity to enjoy something outside of work hahaha.

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Posted by tiki33
Cap2333 I'm curious as to why you're wasting your time on something long distance if your end goal is to be serious with a guy. If you truly desire a REAL relationship then why not date local?

For all you know this guy could be married or living with his long term significant other. The travelling type jobs give guys like him ample of options which is why you're experiencing the pull back silent treatment. The pull back silent treatment IS the answer, it's his way of slowing things down if he's still interested and if he's not interested at all it's his way of letting you down without having say it to you.

He know how to reach you, he has your contact info, he held you in his arms all night therefore he KNOW you desire him so don't chase him, if he want it he will come and get it.

In the meantime get busy enhancing your dating life. Tuck him away until he surfaces again but until then go out on a date and enjoy yourself.
I've been dating and still am, but it's very rare that I actually find someone I'm into and like enough to see again (or bring home). And since his ultimate end goal is here it seems like we could work something out. I know he lives with one of his business partners (he describes them as brothers) and he told me he saw someone when we started talking (but I'm not entirely sure I believe that but that's a whole other thing) also it doesn't bother me because I've been on several dates since we've started talking too. I'm not sure if I would call it a silent treatment exactly, I've always had to be the one to reach out to him, literally every single time (which at a point did bother me). I don't know why it's that way, he usually responds and puts in just the same amount of effort as I if not more, but I always have to initiate. But you are absolutely right he does know my feelings I have always been very straight forward with him and he has several different platforms in which he can reach me.

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Posted by cap2333
Posted by tiki33
Cap2333 I'm curious as to why you're wasting your time on something long distance if your end goal is to be serious with a guy. If you truly desire a REAL relationship then why not date local?

For all you know this guy could be married or living with his long term significant other. The travelling type jobs give guys like him ample of options which is why you're experiencing the pull back silent treatment. The pull back silent treatment IS the answer, it's his way of slowing things down if he's still interested and if he's not interested at all it's his way of letting you down without having say it to you.

He know how to reach you, he has your contact info, he held you in his arms all night therefore he KNOW you desire him so don't chase him, if he want it he will come and get it.

In the meantime get busy enhancing your dating life. Tuck him away until he surfaces again but until then go out on a date and enjoy yourself.
I've been dating and still am, but it's very rare that I actually find someone I'm into and like enough to see again (or bring home). And since his ultimate end goal is here it seems like we could work something out. I know he lives with one of his business partners (he describes them as brothers) and he told me he saw someone when we started talking (but I'm not entirely sure I believe that but that's a whole other thing) also it doesn't bother me because I've been on several dates since we've started talking too. I'm not sure if I would call it a silent treatment exactly, I've always had to be the one to reach out to him, literally every single time (which at a point did bother me). I don't know why it's that way, he usually responds and puts in just the same amount of effort as I if not more, but I always have to initiate. But you are absolutely right he does know my feelings I have always been very straight forward with him and he has several different platforms in which he can reach me.

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We women get so hung up on these long distance situationship because it's a whole lots of unknowns and mystery surrounding the other person and who doesn't love a good mystery but what many of us fail to realize is the more we spend our waking hours fixated on him the more we ELEVATE HIS IMPORTANCE and the more we ELEVATE his importance the more we lead ourselves to believe he's the one and 99% of the time he's barely thinking about her unti he's ready to think about her so now she's stuck in love all by herself WAITING and growing impatient and agitated.

Cautionary flag. He must Initiate calls, emails and text messages. If he's not meeting you half way or initiating slightly more than you then his level of interest in you is not high enough for him to invest in getting to know you. You're basically chasing him if you're doing all the leg work and he's just showing up. If you chase a man he will run, right now he's running, let him go.

I would suggest that you step back and re-evaluate your situation with him before investing anymore of your precious time, heart, energy, love and thoughts over him.


Do not put all of your eggs in his basket.

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Posted by cap2333
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by cap2333
Posted by EtherealTraveler
What's his moon/venus/mars

In fact, do you know his full chart? Makes things easier to estimate

Your chart would also be appreciated
I'm a

cappy sun

Aries moon

Scorpio rising

Venus in Sagittarius


He's a cappy sun and a cappy rising he didn't remember the rest hahaha
It's your Aries moon that pursued him. My Cap also has an Aries moon and reading your story is like reading it from his perspective with me being the guy that intrigues you. From the sounds of it you guys had sex?
Awww really how funny! Fire is quite strong lol! And yes we did, which is very unlike me I have never brought someone home on the first date before (or the second actually lol). But we've been talking for so long I was very comfortable with him. Also I know how hard he works and he never seems to be able to fully relax so I just wanted to offer him comfort and an opportunity to enjoy something outside of work hahaha.

click to expand


His fire was strong and I had to tell him to bring it down a notch against my cap moon lol. It took him a bit to get me to warm up since he was very open just like you. My introverted nature kept him intrigued similar to this guy. When sex is involved it gets messy because you can't decipher if you're being used or if he dived in too early. If he is the sweet shy guy you claim then it's likely he dived in too early and pondering if you only view him as a hookup. Pulling away is his idea to think it out. You should address it if you're interested in a relationship with him. Aries moons ignite with passion with their interests so avoid being confrontational.

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