Why is he talking about other women in this way??

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by candy10 on Tuesday, March 4, 2014 and has 49 replies.
This is about the guy i've talked about in previous posts. He is a friend of mine and hes admitted he likes me only recently. He came back in to contact with me after nine months of disappearing off the face of the planet, as he had a rough time and was sorting things out in his life. When he contacted me again from a random number he said he was really sorry and he missed me so much and he realised how special I was and therefore he had to come back, he then asked me if i would go out with him for a meal like a dinner date. I hold my hands up and say I was a little difficult with him at the beginning..and didn't agree straight away seeing as he did disappear for tht long and I didnt want to make it that easy for him. Anyway three months on and we still havn't met up lol..but mostly as a date hasn't been set but I did agree to meet with him in the end.
The majority of the time he does continue to say he misses me and can't sleep as he's just thinking about me a lot. He also indirectly implies he wants someone..for example on valentines day h said he was really down and upset as he felt like he should have someone and i accidently ended up laughing.. (wrong reaction)..he said why are you laughing its not funny.
This is what I couldnt understand though,what he said to me the other day and why he said it.
On the phone he told me he had a car accident (wasn't serious luckily), he said that he was apparently thinking about me at the time as he thought in a panic moment it was going to be really bad..and I ended up saying to him "yea whatever"..like yea right i dont believe you. About ten minutes after telling me that, he said the girl who was in the car which bumped in to his,was so "hot and fit". He then said that maybe he should call her and ask her to pay him back for the damages to his car in OTHER WAYS..he meant sexually. He was being a lot more explicit than I am right now though..the words he was using are far too rude.
He then said that he would rather use the money she owes him to hire women on the street :O i.e the P word..and watch them do things to each other..and join in with them too.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing so i pretty much ended the convo ..I told him I had a call on the other line and that I had to go and he sounded disappointed.
Since then He's been ignoring me..I messaged him and asked how he is..he didn't bother to call or reply back..and its been about a week.
I just think the whole convo was just uncalled
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Continued ***
for, why did he have to say such things about what he wouldn't mind doing with other girls/women. And he wants ME TO give him MY time for a "DATE".??
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Sounds like a couple of things are going on here...
- Maybe he was feeling insecure about how you feel for him, and wanted to get a rise out of you by making those jokes. Yeah..their sense of humour isn't for everyone...
- Sometimes Caps ignore and give the silent treatment when they are angry or feeling some kind of negativity about you instead of confronting the issue head on. I get the feeling they are retreating to see how you will react, and figure out how they feel. My Cap has told me that he doesn't always tell someone how they f*cked up because he wants them to figure it out on their own. The silent treatment is damn annoying!
- Another thing is he possibly could be upset that you don't believe him (Valentines Day, and that he was thinking about you before the accident). My Cap seems to hate it when I doubt how he feels, or what he says.
Btw, what is your sign?
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Posted by SunMoonStars
Sounds like a couple of things are going on here...
- Maybe he was feeling insecure about how you feel for him, and wanted to get a rise out of you by making those jokes. Yeah..their sense of humour isn't for everyone...
- Sometimes Caps ignore and give the silent treatment when they are angry or feeling some kind of negativity about you instead of confronting the issue head on. I get the feeling they are retreating to see how you will react, and figure out how they feel. My Cap has told me that he doesn't always tell someone how they f*cked up because he wants them to figure it out on their own. The silent treatment is damn annoying!
- Another thing is he possibly could be upset that you don't believe him (Valentines Day, and that he was thinking about you before the accident). My Cap seems to hate it when I doubt how he feels, or what he says.
Btw, what is your sign?


I think you got the answers nearest to what I was thinking myself. I'm a virgo..apparently virgo and capricorns are a match made in heaven lol
Ye normally i find him really funny and if that was a joke it was in very poor taste. I didn't give him a reaction, all I said was "I dare you", to which he replied "what if she says yes?" I said "thats up to you what you do then isn't it, you're not going to come back and ask me what to do if she says yes are you?" He replied "true".
He followed that up with saying how he would rather have the money and he asked me do you really think I'd lose out on all that money to f*** one girl. when I could use the money to hire out multiple women? He was saying puke worthy things.
Funnily enough most of the time i PRETTY MUCH know what he's thinking he doesn't even need to say it. so yeah maybe he is giving me the silent treatment.
I just assumed the valentines day thing for example tht he just was trying to get me to go out with him and tried to make me feel guilty..but who knows maybe he is sad about it?
With regards to the accident, yes maybe he was thinking is he ever going to see me again..who knows, only he does..but I just reacted automatically..and didnt really think about what I was actually saying

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Posted by champranger
Posted by SunMoonStars

- Another thing is he possibly could be upset that you don't believe him (Valentines Day, and that he was thinking about you before the accident). My Cap seems to hate it when I doubt how he feels, or what he says.



+1
This particular Cap has liked OP (a Virgo) and she has rejected him. This has been going on about 6 years I think (consistently but not continuously).
It could be that this Cap perceives the two cases mentioned above as further rejection, on top of the rejection he had already received in the past.
click to expand


I'd say a couple of years if you count all the time we havn't been in contact. Like the whole nine months that he recently disappeared for, plus about six months on top of that where he was angry at me for another reason..and yes I guess some of the times where I was not happy with him either.
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candy seriously
LET IT GO
do yo have scorp venus or smthg? or venus in the 8th? or anything that explains this lunacy?
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Why is he talking about other women like that? Well, you've done nothing but string him along, he's got to get it from somewhere. Probably tired of good ole Rosy Palm by now.
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Posted by truecap
Why is he talking about other women like that? Well, you've done nothing but string him along, he's got to get it from somewhere. Probably tired of good ole Rosy Palm by now.


LOL whos rosy palm?
I suppose you are right.
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0__0
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Posted by candy10
Posted by truecap
Why is he talking about other women like that? Well, you've done nothing but string him along, he's got to get it from somewhere. Probably tired of good ole Rosy Palm by now.


LOL whos rosy palm?
I suppose you are right.
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Seriously? Rosy palm - the one handed partner. The nickname for the hand that jacks him off.
I'm sure the palm is a red rosy color by the time he's done.
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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SO BASICALLY YOURE SAYING HES DESPERATE FOR SOME ACTION LOL
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im not going to just meet up with him for that..
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What do you want from this man? He obviously wants to date you and you have been stringing him along for years. Caps are patient, but once he walks away from you, know that he will be gone forever.
You keep coming on here with the same questions. Why don't you just cut him loose so he can meet someone and be happy?
Eventually, we aren't going to respond anymore.
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Posted by truecap
What do you want from this man? He obviously wants to date you and you have been stringing him along for years. Caps are patient, but once he walks away from you, know that he will be gone forever.
You keep coming on here with the same questions. Why don't you just cut him loose so he can meet someone and be happy?
Eventually, we aren't going to respond anymore.


I want him to not give me something to complain about and NOT mention other women and sleeping with them, why is that hard to understand? I get men/women find other men/women attractive but to go as far as he did was over the top.
I eventually did agree to meeting up with him. and it was all fine..all i was waiting on was him to set a proper date and everything...and then next thing i know we have that conversation and i dont think its unreasonable for me to think what he said was wrong.
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You're talking in circles.
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by candy10
Posted by truecap
What do you want from this man? He obviously wants to date you and you have been stringing him along for years. Caps are patient, but once he walks away from you, know that he will be gone forever.
You keep coming on here with the same questions. Why don't you just cut him loose so he can meet someone and be happy?
Eventually, we aren't going to respond anymore.


I want him to not give me something to complain about and NOT mention other women and sleeping with them, why is that hard to understand? I get men/women find other men/women attractive but to go as far as he did was over the top.
I eventually did agree to meeting up with him. and it was all fine..all i was waiting on was him to set a proper date and everything...and then next thing i know we have that conversation and i dont think its unreasonable for me to think what he said was wrong.


You are micromanaging your "relationship".
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ok
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Posted by candy10
im not going to just meet up with him for that..


And why not? You will not be meeting up with him for a normal date so why won't you just get off and get it out of your system. If this has really been going on for so long.
What he said is tricky stuff to say to someone you are interested in. BUT... It could be okay when talking to a friend.
You treat him like a friend but respond like a jealous girl when he talks about other women.
Pick one, you can't have both. Not like this.
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You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.
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Posted by TigerCap
You treat him like a friend but respond like a jealous girl when he talks about other women..


She wants him to bow before her and kiss the ground she walks on.
Advice: Master the broody look, pose for a Scorpio and do this shit with a Taurus guy.
That will work.
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Posted by SanchoElMejor
he's trying to control your emotions


Silly Cap, does he not know we have no emotions?
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Treat him mean to keep him keen. 6 years of it and he's still coming back for more but be careful what you're doing to him can be dished back. He's just dishing out what he's receiving, rejection.
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Did you ever TELL HIM of your interest (or lack of) in him? Did you ever SHOW HIM of your interest (if there is) in him?
Is it really that unreasonable that he would be trying to gauge your level of interest in him? With the mentioning of other women, doesn't it sound like that he just wanted to know if you are interested in him (by seeing if you would be jealous)?
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Posted by Damnata
You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.


Why are you posting on MY thread IF i am beyond annoying, THAT IS BEYOND ANNOYING, so go mind your own.
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Posted by TigerCap
Posted by candy10
im not going to just meet up with him for that..


And why not? You will not be meeting up with him for a normal date so why won't you just get off and get it out of your system. If this has really been going on for so long.
What he said is tricky stuff to say to someone you are interested in. BUT... It could be okay when talking to a friend.
You treat him like a friend but respond like a jealous girl when he talks about other women.
Pick one, you can't have both. Not like this.
click to expand


LOL, no. I would obviously rather meet him normally instead of going there.
He did suggest that once ages ago, but of course I didnt want that, I told him im sure he could get that type of action from anyone, but apparently he wanted it to be with me :/
I treat him like a friend because i find it hard to let the emotions out, hence everything i say to him ends up being complacent, Its like I cant word my emotions.
But inside its all there, and I feel exactly the same as he does probably.
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Posted by champranger
Posted by candy10
Posted by champranger
Posted by SunMoonStars

- Another thing is he possibly could be upset that you don't believe him (Valentines Day, and that he was thinking about you before the accident). My Cap seems to hate it when I doubt how he feels, or what he says.



+1
This particular Cap has liked OP (a Virgo) and she has rejected him. This has been going on about 6 years I think (consistently but not continuously).
It could be that this Cap perceives the two cases mentioned above as further rejection, on top of the rejection he had already received in the past.


I'd say a couple of years if you count all the time we havn't been in contact. Like the whole nine months that he recently disappeared for, plus about six months on top of that where he was angry at me for another reason..and yes I guess some of the times where I was not happy with him either.


Hence consistently but not continuously ...
If I recall, you knew him for about 6 years at the time he had disappeared for 9 months, and he liked you pretty much since you two met, no?

click to expand



ye I guess you are right. But I dont kno if hes hungr around so long because he realy likes me or if its because im around and im convenient.
Although hes said im special and hes lucky to hv me and all of tht ..how do you really know?
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Posted by SanchoElMejor
Posted by candy10

About ten minutes after telling me that, he said the girl who was in the car which bumped in to his,was so "hot and fit". He then said that maybe he should call her and ask her to pay him back for the damages to his car in OTHER WAYS..he meant sexually. He was being a lot more explicit than I am right now though..the words he was using are far too rude.


Sounds like he's trying to control your emotions due to fear of losing your interest, or maybe he said it out of anger because you don't show that you care. It's something I would say if someone I was into wasn't giving me enough attention.
Especially if I just poured my heart out to them. What you did was basically like a big fuck you, but maybe he deserves that Idk.
click to expand


its possible, but he literally did it in the worst way possible. But as iv said b4 its not like i dont care I just find cnt seem to show it through words..it doesnt come naturally to me to be all sopppy with him like he is with me sometimes.
Anyway now he is actually not really bothering to call or reply to my texts...for example I texted today and I said " youre pretty quiet these days, u 2 busy negotiating?" i was reffering to the comment he made about negotiating with that girl he met at the accident.
he ignored tht too..
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Posted by candy10
Posted by Damnata
You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.


Why are you posting on MY thread IF i am beyond annoying, THAT IS BEYOND ANNOYING, so go mind your own.
click to expand


I actually agree with Damnata.
Based on all of your threads, I can't determine whether you like him or not. It's the same ole wishy washy, back and forth talk with no definite conclusions. Then you're back with the same old stuff.
You don't know what you want. Grow up. Decide what you want. Have an honest, mature, adult conversation with him.
Either it goes somewhere or it doesn't. If it does, then great. If it doesn't then move on and let him move on.
Basically, shit or get off the pot.
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Posted by candy10
Posted by SanchoElMejor
Posted by candy10

About ten minutes after telling me that, he said the girl who was in the car which bumped in to his,was so "hot and fit". He then said that maybe he should call her and ask her to pay him back for the damages to his car in OTHER WAYS..he meant sexually. He was being a lot more explicit than I am right now though..the words he was using are far too rude.


Sounds like he's trying to control your emotions due to fear of losing your interest, or maybe he said it out of anger because you don't show that you care. It's something I would say if someone I was into wasn't giving me enough attention.
Especially if I just poured my heart out to them. What you did was basically like a big fuck you, but maybe he deserves that Idk.


its possible, but he literally did it in the worst way possible. But as iv said b4 its not like i dont care I just find cnt seem to show it through words..it doesnt come naturally to me to be all sopppy with him like he is with me sometimes.
Anyway now he is actually not really bothering to call or reply to my texts...for example I texted today and I said " youre pretty quiet these days, u 2 busy negotiating?" i was reffering to the comment he made about negotiating with that girl he met at the accident.
he ignored tht too..

click to expand


Honestly, I don't blame him.
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Candy10,
You're allowiing your insecurities to masquerade your true intentions for this potential relationship.
This song and dance you're doing will leave him dazed and confused.
I'm not a Cap, but from what I gather his behavior seems to synonymously 'mirror' yours.
Insecurity v Insecurity
Try this...
A more direct approach will suit you better.
Take the risk.
If he mirrors this "action"........
Then you're in business.
No more inquiries.
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Posted by TaurusBull1977
Candy10,
You're allowiing your insecurities to masquerade your true intentions for this potential relationship.
This song and dance you're doing will leave him dazed and confused.
I'm not a Cap, but from what I gather his behavior seems to synonymously 'mirror' yours.
Insecurity v Insecurity
Try this...
A more direct approach will suit you better.
Take the risk.
If he mirrors this "action"........
Then you're in business.
No more inquiries.


I did ask him in a text message today why he is being quiet these days..i admit i put in a comment about what he said last week..i.e is it because hes "negotiating"..because he said he wouldnt mind negotiating sexually with that girl..*rolls eyes*
..he ignored the message.
I dont want to call him seeing as he seems to not want to call me.
Im stuck basically i dont kno what to say to him now and what will make him respond.
I guess I did mention us meeting up yesterday but then when he said it "dependss" i said forget it..
so maybe I could say soemthing along those lines..but still i dont want to seem desperate right now.
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Posted by truecap
Posted by candy10
Posted by Damnata
You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.


Why are you posting on MY thread IF i am beyond annoying, THAT IS BEYOND ANNOYING, so go mind your own.


I actually agree with Damnata.
Based on all of your threads, I can't determine whether you like him or not. It's the same ole wishy washy, back and forth talk with no definite conclusions. Then you're back with the same old stuff.
You don't know what you want. Grow up. Decide what you want. Have an honest, mature, adult conversation with him.
Either it goes somewhere or it doesn't. If it does, then great. If it doesn't then move on and let him move on.
Basically, shit or get off the pot.
click to expand


But seeing as he's not replying to my messages..or bothering to call me, I dont see what I can do now.
I dont want to appear like im too desperate to get a hold of him, i know regardless of what youre saying and that i should be upfront with him..but only if he co-operates a little.
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Posted by truecap
Posted by candy10
Posted by SanchoElMejor
Posted by candy10

About ten minutes after telling me that, he said the girl who was in the car which bumped in to his,was so "hot and fit". He then said that maybe he should call her and ask her to pay him back for the damages to his car in OTHER WAYS..he meant sexually. He was being a lot more explicit than I am right now though..the words he was using are far too rude.


Sounds like he's trying to control your emotions due to fear of losing your interest, or maybe he said it out of anger because you don't show that you care. It's something I would say if someone I was into wasn't giving me enough attention.
Especially if I just poured my heart out to them. What you did was basically like a big fuck you, but maybe he deserves that Idk.


its possible, but he literally did it in the worst way possible. But as iv said b4 its not like i dont care I just find cnt seem to show it through words..it doesnt come naturally to me to be all sopppy with him like he is with me sometimes.
Anyway now he is actually not really bothering to call or reply to my texts...for example I texted today and I said " youre pretty quiet these days, u 2 busy negotiating?" i was reffering to the comment he made about negotiating with that girl he met at the accident.
he ignored tht too..



Honestly, I don't blame him.
click to expand


In fact better yet why can't he just tell me whats on his mind now? Why do I have to make all these assumptions.
At least if he did that way i could address something, i dont want to just come out of the blue and get in to a serious topic when he hasn't given me a single clue Angry
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Posted by candy10
Posted by Damnata
You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.


Why are you posting on MY thread IF i am beyond annoying, THAT IS BEYOND ANNOYING, so go mind your own.
click to expand


You realize you don't own the INTERNET?
I'll post where I please, what are you going to do...moan about me for years like you do with the Cap?
Do you ever stop and think how pathetic you truly are?
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Posted by candy10
Posted by TigerCap
Posted by candy10
im not going to just meet up with him for that..


And why not? You will not be meeting up with him for a normal date so why won't you just get off and get it out of your system. If this has really been going on for so long.
What he said is tricky stuff to say to someone you are interested in. BUT... It could be okay when talking to a friend.
You treat him like a friend but respond like a jealous girl when he talks about other women.
Pick one, you can't have both. Not like this.


LOL, no. I would obviously rather meet him normally instead of going there.
He did suggest that once ages ago, but of course I didnt want that, I told him im sure he could get that type of action from anyone, but apparently he wanted it to be with me :/
I treat him like a friend because i find it hard to let the emotions out, hence everything i say to him ends up being complacent, Its like I cant word my emotions.
But inside its all there, and I feel exactly the same as he does probably.

click to expand


If you can't talk about it then write it down.
That's what mine did. smile
Take some risk girl. If we already have a hard time figuring out how you feel you can be sure he will be even more clueless.
Tell him, kick his door down if necessary but stop waiting for him to act like you do now.
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Candy, I'm afraid he's avoiding you on purpose. He's tired of your wishy washy insecure behavior and is steadily losing interest.
If he doesn't respond within a week or two, I'd just forget about him and move on. Chalk it up as a life lesson and learn to be more direct in the future.
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Posted by TigerCap
Posted by candy10
Posted by TigerCap
Posted by candy10
im not going to just meet up with him for that..


And why not? You will not be meeting up with him for a normal date so why won't you just get off and get it out of your system. If this has really been going on for so long.
What he said is tricky stuff to say to someone you are interested in. BUT... It could be okay when talking to a friend.
You treat him like a friend but respond like a jealous girl when he talks about other women.
Pick one, you can't have both. Not like this.


LOL, no. I would obviously rather meet him normally instead of going there.
He did suggest that once ages ago, but of course I didnt want that, I told him im sure he could get that type of action from anyone, but apparently he wanted it to be with me :/
I treat him like a friend because i find it hard to let the emotions out, hence everything i say to him ends up being complacent, Its like I cant word my emotions.
But inside its all there, and I feel exactly the same as he does probably.



If you can't talk about it then write it down.
That's what mine did. smile
Take some risk girl. If we already have a hard time figuring out how you feel you can be sure he will be even more clueless.
Tell him, kick his door down if necessary but stop waiting for him to act like you do now.
click to expand


This is good advice, too. If you choose not to do anything, then you allow yourself to lose. If you do something and it turns out bad, then you have your answer - you took a chance and won't regret it. Really, what have you got to lose? What's the worse that could happen? He says no? Then you have your answer. The best that could happen is he says yes. The worse case scenario HAS to be better than where you are now.
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you make virgo woman shock? ugh.
Yeah, some virgo chicks are idiots. No doubt about that.
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Posted by Damnata
you make virgo woman shock? ugh.
Yeah, some virgo chicks are idiots. No doubt about that.


stupid class A b****
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Posted by Damnata
Posted by candy10
Posted by Damnata
You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.


Why are you posting on MY thread IF i am beyond annoying, THAT IS BEYOND ANNOYING, so go mind your own.


You realize you don't own the INTERNET?
I'll post where I please, what are you going to do...moan about me for years like you do with the Cap?
Do you ever stop and think how pathetic you truly are?
click to expand



Youre honestly right getting on my nerves.
YOUR name is next to the word SKANK in the dictionary
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Posted by Damnata
you make virgo woman shock? ugh.
Yeah, some virgo chicks are idiots. No doubt about that.


YOURE only hiding behind a computer screen. You wouldnt dare say any of this to my face.
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Yeah, I wouldn't dare.
You would take the dictionary and hit me with it.
Don't worry, I'll get you some grammar books to replace the dictionary.
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Posted by Damnata
Yeah, I wouldn't dare.
You would take the dictionary and hit me with it.
Don't worry, I'll get you some grammar books to replace the dictionary.


oh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH good one so clever
NOT
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Posted by Damnata
Yeah, I wouldn't dare.
You would take the dictionary and hit me with it.
Don't worry, I'll get you some grammar books to replace the dictionary.


what are you? like so far up your own arse you can smell the ****
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Posted by depressedviolence
Posted by Damnata
Yeah, I wouldn't dare.
You would take the dictionary and hit me with it.
Don't worry, I'll get you some grammar books to replace the dictionary.

so how about you?are you the smart type?or just standard critical virgo woman?ups
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If candy is the standard virgo female then I'm not standard at all.
Not smarter than the next person.
Critical..so and so.
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Posted by Damnata
Posted by depressedviolence
Posted by Damnata
Yeah, I wouldn't dare.
You would take the dictionary and hit me with it.
Don't worry, I'll get you some grammar books to replace the dictionary.

so how about you?are you the smart type?or just standard critical virgo woman?ups


If candy is the standard virgo female then I'm not standard at all.
Not smarter than the next person.
Critical..so and so.
click to expand



proving my point. Should we bow down to you, o superior one.
No you're not critical at all, that part of your character hasn't come out.
Picking apart the character of someone you know nothing about.
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The fact that Damnata is associated with the virgo sign, is an insult to all virgos.
A very unpleasant individual.
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Posted by candy10
Posted by Damnata
Posted by candy10
Posted by Damnata
You come here with the same story time after time. Leave the poor guy be.
You are beyond annoying. I really hope you were joking when you said you were a Virgo.


Why are you posting on MY thread IF i am beyond annoying, THAT IS BEYOND ANNOYING, so go mind your own.


You realize you don't own the INTERNET?
I'll post where I please, what are you going to do...moan about me for years like you do with the Cap?
Do you ever stop and think how pathetic you truly are?



Youre honestly right getting on my nerves.
YOUR name is next to the word SKANK in the dictionary
click to expand



I'm pretty sure that D isn't next to S in the dictionary...
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omg rocky, stop riling up the Virgo.
She won't stop, it's her internet pride at stake here.
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