Why do our ROLES switch in PUBLIC vs PRIVATE??

At work I am seen as strict, bossy, controlling, dominating, etc. .... And then our coworkers see him as submissive, eager to please, even feminine! ..... But little does everyone know outside the workplace when its just me and him, roles instantly switch! .... Well its like .... We are equal in communication, we stimulate each other there and understand one another emotionally. Very open and honest, no problem verbally expressing ourselves. We let each other make decisions, although I mostly just let him make the decisions and take the lead. THEN when I tell him to kiss me or he leans in to kiss me, suddenly all bets are off--the role switch becomes so apparent here: I am SOOOO willfully submissive to him and he is so aggressive and dominates me. We are both so turned on by this too, and I don't even know whether he notices that the roles are different in and out of the public realm. I am so intrigued by this force!

Can someone please look at our charts and tell me where this role switching and strong attraction is coming from? (I mean, aside from the obvious Cancer & Virgo match) I am just so baffled by the ease of things between us. We are coworkers who instantly became friends, communication was effortlessly flowing from day one, and people at work are just confused bc it really seems like the two of us have nothing in common!

-----ME-----
Sun Cancer 29.18 Ascendant Scorpio 6.05
Moon Virgo 22.20 II Sagittarius 5.34
Mercury Leo 23.56 III Capricorn 4.06
Venus Gemini 17.21 IV Aquarius 3.11
Mars Cancer 28.04 V Pisces 4.01
Jupiter Aquarius 13.44 R VI Aries 5.47
Saturn Scorpio 21.29 R VII Taurus 6.05
Uranus Sagittarius 14.22 R VIII Gemini 5.34
Neptune Capricorn 1.31 R IX Cancer 4.06
Pluto Scorpio 1.57 Midheaven Leo 3.11
Lilith Taurus 5.33 XI Virgo 4.01
Asc node Taurus 15.11 XII Libra 5.47


-----HIM------
Sun Virgo 8.02 Ascendant Scorpio 12.49
Moon Capricorn 15.31 II Sagittarius 12.11
Mercury Virgo 21.42 R III Capricorn 17.03
Venus Leo 21.49 IV Aquarius 24.03
Mars Gemini 0.06 V Pisces 26.31
Jupiter Leo 2.47 VI Aries 22.20
Saturn Capricorn 19.06 R VII Taurus 12.49
Uranus Capricorn 5.41 R VIII Gemini 12.11
Neptune Capricorn 11.57 R IX Cancer 17.03
Pluto Scorpio 15.22 Midheaven Leo 24.03
Lilith Sagittarius 3.29 XI Virgo 26.31
Asc node Aquarius 7.01 XII Libra 22.20

YOU:

Self-Power ->The will and ability to maintain a social supremacy based on thoroughly established tradition. Inner or outer aristocracy.

Emotional-About -> Readiness to face the aroused energies of one's nature and test one's moral strength. Faith in self. Valor and mastery.

Self-Growing -> Purposeful, daring plunge into life-mysteries. Fulfillment of individual selfhood through study of unconscious energies.


HIM:

Self-Power -> Original genius of every individual soul unconcerned with collective values. Absolute, tradition-less self-expression.

Emotional-About -> Normal dependence upon physical stimulation. Robust enthusiasm in approaching life's contests; or immature impulsiveness.

Self-Growing -> Driving power toward achievement, as featured in all benefactors of mankind. Self-sufficient activity. Clever outwitting.