Dating green flags đ©
This topic was created in the Dating forum by ATGR on Wednesday, December 6, 2023 and has 58 replies.
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What actions or words are a green flag for you? In other words they make you like your date more?
I thought weâd had this thread but couldnât find it so. đ€·ââïž
"I need to be friends first."
Remembering things I've told them. Being caring and showing interest. Liking cats. đ»đž
Never fails....
buying furniture
When you can ask them anything and they'll answer honestly.
Clear and honest communication. And being comfortable around them. No nerves, no front - easy. When a relationship feels like work, it's not working.
When they listen, and are concerned about you. When they support my career instead of bitching about how much I work, but care about my stress level.
When they love dogs, and my dogs love them. Same with kids. Or when a kid is in the emergency room they are concerned & supportive instead of complaining Iâm not talking to them.
When they love dogs, and my dogs love them. Same with kids. Or when a kid is in the emergency room they are concerned & supportive instead of complaining Iâm not talking to them.
Posted by virgoOPPPu tryna catch u a play huh
buying furniture
To be truthfully honest with you I really don't know. It seems red flags outweighs green flags always. It just seem women only want me for my looks and money soooo....I don't know if that's a red or green flag. I used to be a sucka and fell for it that's all I know.
Fuck, at this point someone with the ability to do anything other the just have sex is a green flag. If you can wake tf up and cook something as simple as toast and a single egg that's a green flag. Having a job, green flag. If you can put clothes in a washer, hit buttons, put in dryer, hit buttons, then put them in a basket is enough. You don't even have to fold the shit. I consider just using basic appliances when needed a green flag.
Most of all, I like people that can't make a decision and stick to it. Like the type of people who know what they don't, don't fuck around, and do it. Like not thinking all day what they want to eat, or scroll through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Like people who make a decision and don't fuck around are always a green flag to me.
Most of all, I like people that can't make a decision and stick to it. Like the type of people who know what they don't, don't fuck around, and do it. Like not thinking all day what they want to eat, or scroll through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Like people who make a decision and don't fuck around are always a green flag to me.
Apparently if they're batshit crazy I'm all in.
Posted by SoulSomeone with the ability to do anything other than just have sex is definitely a huge green flag.
Fuck, at this point someone with the ability to do anything other the just have sex is a green flag. If you can wake tf up and cook something as simple as toast and a single egg that's a green flag. Having a job, green flag. If you can put clothes in a washer, hit buttons, put in dryer, hit buttons, then put them in a basket is enough. You don't even have to fold the shit. I consider just using basic appliances when needed a green flag.
Most of all, I like people that can't make a decision and stick to it. Like the type of people who know what they don't, don't fuck around, and do it. Like not thinking all day what they want to eat, or scroll through Netflix trying to find something to watch. Like people who make a decision and don't fuck around are always a green flag to me.
Posted by goldenhourAbsolutely!
"I need to be friends first."
Signed Up: Jan 22, 2023
Comments: 692 · Posts: 933 · Topics: 5
Comments: 692 · Posts: 933 · Topics: 5
Gainfully employed with stable income
Loves dogs
Listens
Mature
Loves dogs
Listens
Mature
Has purpose in life
Has community that supports and upbuilds
Has exhibited self control and is comfortable being emotionally UNCOMFORTABLE without using coping mechanisms (booze, drugs, sex)
Career is secure
Trusts self and others
Is comfortable with healthy conflict and also understands how to navigate conversations as a team
Has and uses tools to manage self and stress
Takes accountability of mistakes in past with transparency and understands what adjustments he needed to make as a person
Has clarity on his goals as a person, a man, a father, a partner and a friend
Has hobbies outside of video games
Has chosen bouts of celibacy to focus on self
No porn, or IG models
Yes my list is insane... I also met this man so don't settle!
Has community that supports and upbuilds
Has exhibited self control and is comfortable being emotionally UNCOMFORTABLE without using coping mechanisms (booze, drugs, sex)
Career is secure
Trusts self and others
Is comfortable with healthy conflict and also understands how to navigate conversations as a team
Has and uses tools to manage self and stress
Takes accountability of mistakes in past with transparency and understands what adjustments he needed to make as a person
Has clarity on his goals as a person, a man, a father, a partner and a friend
Has hobbies outside of video games
Has chosen bouts of celibacy to focus on self
No porn, or IG models
Yes my list is insane... I also met this man so don't settle!
People who keep sex out of the equation at the beginning. Period. This is a way to humanize someone and clearly see what they bring to the table. We canât have our sexual compatibility cloud our judgment. In life you need more than good sex.
Posted by OfficerAmericusFlattering but they can alleviate themselves because Iâm not involving sex until I know them and actually like them. How well a first date goes isnât a determinant in having sex.Posted by aquarius09
People who keep sex out of the equation at the beginning. Period. This is a way to humanize someone and clearly see what they bring to the table. We canât have our sexual compatibility cloud our judgment. In life you need more than good sex.
Let say that you really really like the first date with him but then you find out that he's having a huge bulge growing from his pants. Of course that bulge was because of you.
Is that a red flag? Orange flag?click to expand
Posted by OfficerAmericusUnless he has erectile difficulties usually and it was an aberration to have a hard on, why would it be a big deal otherwise? đPosted by aquarius09Posted by OfficerAmericusPosted by aquarius09
People who keep sex out of the equation at the beginning. Period. This is a way to humanize someone and clearly see what they bring to the table. We canât have our sexual compatibility cloud our judgment. In life you need more than good sex.
Let say that you really really like the first date with him but then you find out that he's having a huge bulge growing from his pants. Of course that bulge was because of you.
Is that a red flag? Orange flag?
Flattering but they can alleviate themselves because Iâm not involving sex until I know them and actually like them. How well a first date goes isnât a determinant in having sex.
Flattering? That wasn't a big deal then đ awesome.click to expand
just a few out of many green flags i actually saw during the first few months (these may be minor things but they werenât minor to me) :
-when he went to throw away a water bottle in the public recycling bin, he also picked up another dirty water bottle that was lying on the ground near the bin and threw that one away as well even though it wasnât his.
-a dog was hit by a car and lying lifeless on the side of the road in a neighborhood. other people kept driving but he got out of the car and rang several doorbells in that neighborhood to find the owner of the dog. we found the owner eventually. apparently the dog had escaped from the yard earlier and owner had no idea.
-one time i arrived early to our destination that we were gonna meet up at. he was already there before me and was talking to a homeless person who kinda seemed under the influence a bit? (slurring, mumbling things that made very little sense etc) but he was treating him with a lot of respect and kindness. he didnât know i was watching him from like several meters behind lol i thought he was the nicest guy ever. he later told me that the homeless guy started talking to him so he just made conversation. i like anyone who recognizes and respects the humanity in anyone.
iâm now married to this person.
-when he went to throw away a water bottle in the public recycling bin, he also picked up another dirty water bottle that was lying on the ground near the bin and threw that one away as well even though it wasnât his.
-a dog was hit by a car and lying lifeless on the side of the road in a neighborhood. other people kept driving but he got out of the car and rang several doorbells in that neighborhood to find the owner of the dog. we found the owner eventually. apparently the dog had escaped from the yard earlier and owner had no idea.
-one time i arrived early to our destination that we were gonna meet up at. he was already there before me and was talking to a homeless person who kinda seemed under the influence a bit? (slurring, mumbling things that made very little sense etc) but he was treating him with a lot of respect and kindness. he didnât know i was watching him from like several meters behind lol i thought he was the nicest guy ever. he later told me that the homeless guy started talking to him so he just made conversation. i like anyone who recognizes and respects the humanity in anyone.
iâm now married to this person.
Love's dogs and is very kind.
Mutual love and affection.
Intelligence, compassion and consideration for others. Respects themselves and others. A flirt and can work me while putting a smile on your face( my weakness).
A backbone, looking for a partner. Can do their own thing. Spiritual.
đ„ Last but not least, great sex. Which will come naturally with the above.
Intelligence, compassion and consideration for others. Respects themselves and others. A flirt and can work me while putting a smile on your face( my weakness).
A backbone, looking for a partner. Can do their own thing. Spiritual.
đ„ Last but not least, great sex. Which will come naturally with the above.
oo i thought of another incident lol
we were in the public menâs room and we were washing our hands . the people who used the sinks before us mustâve splattered water all over the place and it was a mess. my spouse got some paper towels and started wiping the water that was all over the counter, hoping to make the area clean enough for the next person.
i dunno thereâs just something so pure and wholesome about people who clean up messes that arenât theirs.
for example, i love those kind, generous people who shovel the snow off of their neighborâs driveways/sidewalks. these people inspired me to do the same.
so a green flag is definitely someone who does kind things without giving it any second thought.
goes for both genders. male and female.
see if your date shows these traits.
we were in the public menâs room and we were washing our hands . the people who used the sinks before us mustâve splattered water all over the place and it was a mess. my spouse got some paper towels and started wiping the water that was all over the counter, hoping to make the area clean enough for the next person.
i dunno thereâs just something so pure and wholesome about people who clean up messes that arenât theirs.
for example, i love those kind, generous people who shovel the snow off of their neighborâs driveways/sidewalks. these people inspired me to do the same.
so a green flag is definitely someone who does kind things without giving it any second thought.
goes for both genders. male and female.
see if your date shows these traits.
@Lostthoughts â đ„ Last but not least, great sex. Which will come naturally with the above.â
Letâs not forget great sex!
Letâs not forget great sex!
When they genuinely have no ulterior motives but to get to know me. Asking me questions, planning things (doesn't have to cost money at all) etc.
Oh, Iâve got some:
- Not flaky (does what they say theyâll do),
- On time for things.
- Not flaky (does what they say theyâll do),
- On time for things.
Posted by Saturn_ReturnsThat shit drives me NUTS. Be fucking punctual.Posted by ATGR
Oh, Iâve got some:
- Not flaky (does what they say theyâll do),
- On time for things.
Women who have been chronically late have never lasted long with me.
Regardless of gender, it's damn inconsiderate and rude, and indicates that the person can't be relied on when urgently needed.click to expand
Posted by SoloHow punctual.. like, on the dot? Or 10 minutes early? No more than 5 minutes late? I have a friend who is anal about time ("let me know two days ahead whether you want to hang out.." "I need an answer by next week on this this and that" yada yada) yet she flakes ALL the time. I've never called her on an emergency because I just know she's not like that. But... If she says, "hey I've got a flat tire, can you help me out" and I'm free.. I might not show up within the fastest time possible but I will be there. đ€·ââïžPosted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by ATGR
Oh, Iâve got some:
- Not flaky (does what they say theyâll do),
- On time for things.
Women who have been chronically late have never lasted long with me.
Regardless of gender, it's damn inconsiderate and rude, and indicates that the person can't be relied on when urgently needed.
click to expand
That shit drives me NUTS. Be fucking punctual.click to expand
Being reliable is great. If they don't put you on the line and make you pay for their bad choices it's đ
Posted by RollergirlOrcIf something starts at 930, be there for it to start at 930. Simple as that. Don't start getting ready when it's 9 and it takes 15 minutes to get there and you take an hour to get ready. I've known women that literally, to their job, have no problem not showing up for a whole hour, being 5-10 minutes late everyday, etc. and that's in their personal lives too. That lateness. It's so fucking aggravating and disrespectful. I was helping one of them and I had to drive her to work, but she would fight me on going on time. I was literally staying up past the time I wanted to so that I could make sure I got her there on time, only for her to make it impossible for me.Posted by SoloPosted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by ATGR
Oh, Iâve got some:
- Not flaky (does what they say theyâll do),
- On time for things.
Women who have been chronically late have never lasted long with me.
Regardless of gender, it's damn inconsiderate and rude, and indicates that the person can't be relied on when urgently needed.
click to expand
That shit drives me NUTS. Be fucking punctual.
How punctual.. like, on the dot? Or 10 minutes early? No more than 5 minutes late? I have a friend who is anal about time ("let me know two days ahead whether you want to hang out.." "I need an answer by next week on this this and that" yada yada) yet she flakes ALL the time. I've never called her on an emergency because I just know she's not like that. But... If she says, "hey I've got a flat tire, can you help me out" and I'm free.. I might not show up within the fastest time possible but I will be there. đ€·ââïžclick to expand
Posted by serenidadThis is the biggest green flag.đ
just a few out of many green flags i actually saw during the first few months (these may be minor things but they werenât minor to me) :
-when he went to throw away a water bottle in the public recycling bin, he also picked up another dirty water bottle that was lying on the ground near the bin and threw that one away as well even though it wasnât his.
-a dog was hit by a car and lying lifeless on the side of the road in a neighborhood. other people kept driving but he got out of the car and rang several doorbells in that neighborhood to find the owner of the dog. we found the owner eventually. apparently the dog had escaped from the yard earlier and owner had no idea.
-one time i arrived early to our destination that we were gonna meet up at. he was already there before me and was talking to a homeless person who kinda seemed under the influence a bit? (slurring, mumbling things that made very little sense etc) but he was treating him with a lot of respect and kindness. he didnât know i was watching him from like several meters behind lol i thought he was the nicest guy ever. he later told me that the homeless guy started talking to him so he just made conversation. i like anyone who recognizes and respects the humanity in anyone.
iâm now married to this person.
âI donât care how much money you haveâ
Posted by geminiflyby
@Lostthoughts â đ„ Last but not least, great sex. Which will come naturally with the above.â
Letâs not forget great sex!
Lol đ
Purely physical attraction and cardinal is good 2-3 stars. Connection, affection and chemistry is a 5 star restaurant.
Posted by cerseiIâll make an exception for you. But how late? đPosted by SoloPosted by Saturn_ReturnsPosted by ATGR
Oh, Iâve got some:
- Not flaky (does what they say theyâll do),
- On time for things.
Women who have been chronically late have never lasted long with me.
Regardless of gender, it's damn inconsiderate and rude, and indicates that the person can't be relied on when urgently needed.
click to expand
That shit drives me NUTS. Be fucking punctual.
click to expand
Lol that reminds me of another one of mine. Someone who doesnât mind me being lateclick to expand
Posted by xkachisag sun, taurus ascendantPosted by serenidad
oo i thought of another incident lol
we were in the public menâs room and we were washing our hands . the people who used the sinks before us mustâve splattered water all over the place and it was a mess. my spouse got some paper towels and started wiping the water that was all over the counter, hoping to make the area clean enough for the next person.
i dunno thereâs just something so pure and wholesome about people who clean up messes that arenât theirs.
for example, i love those kind, generous people who shovel the snow off of their neighborâs driveways/sidewalks. these people inspired me to do the same.
so a green flag is definitely someone who does kind things without giving it any second thought.
goes for both genders. male and female.
see if your date shows these traits.
Congratulations đ·
What's his sign?click to expand
-remembers things I say
-lets me know in a gentle way when I'm acting up without being insulting, with the intention of making me aware so I can improve myself
-not bringing up sex right away
-asking me questions about myself; means they are actually interested in getting to know who I am
-communicates clearly
-patient with me
-is self aware
-takes his work and finances seriously
-has self confidence
-doesn't resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress
-lets me know in a gentle way when I'm acting up without being insulting, with the intention of making me aware so I can improve myself
-not bringing up sex right away
-asking me questions about myself; means they are actually interested in getting to know who I am
-communicates clearly
-patient with me
-is self aware
-takes his work and finances seriously
-has self confidence
-doesn't resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress
Posted by xkachilibra venus, sag marsPosted by serenidadPosted by xkachiPosted by serenidad
oo i thought of another incident lol
we were in the public menâs room and we were washing our hands . the people who used the sinks before us mustâve splattered water all over the place and it was a mess. my spouse got some paper towels and started wiping the water that was all over the counter, hoping to make the area clean enough for the next person.
i dunno thereâs just something so pure and wholesome about people who clean up messes that arenât theirs.
for example, i love those kind, generous people who shovel the snow off of their neighborâs driveways/sidewalks. these people inspired me to do the same.
so a green flag is definitely someone who does kind things without giving it any second thought.
goes for both genders. male and female.
see if your date shows these traits.
Congratulations đ·
What's his sign?
sag sun, taurus ascendant
Venus and Mars?click to expand
he had many responsibilities from an early age (had to be a caretaker for certain family members and stuff) so i think altruistic values were something that was instilled in him early on.
Reading the thread reminds me of another two green flags:
2. Punctual. I will admonish if youâre late. I cannot stand tardy people. I just wonât date anyone unless they are punctual and well-mannered.
3. Smells good. I love men who wear a lil bit of cologne. Just right! I, myself, like to smell good.
2. Punctual. I will admonish if youâre late. I cannot stand tardy people. I just wonât date anyone unless they are punctual and well-mannered.
3. Smells good. I love men who wear a lil bit of cologne. Just right! I, myself, like to smell good.
Posted by aquarius09if someone was late because they were helping someone (like, helping an old lady carry some heavy groceries for a few blocks etc đ), or if the late person looked visibly sick (due to not feeling well) , i wouldnât be angry lol
Reading the thread reminds me of another two green flags:
2. Punctual. I will admonish if youâre late. I cannot stand tardy people. I just wonât date anyone unless they are punctual and well-mannered.
3. Smells good. I love men who wear a lil bit of cologne. Just right! I, myself, like to smell good.
i feel like people who wear their heart on their sleeve are green flags.
people who put all their cards on the table.
people who are emotionally available and show up fully with no hidden agendas in other words.
i would steer clear of anyone who brags about being a âsavage with no emotionsâ. đ
itâs like , no youâre just a coward who wants to have the upper hand because youâre so afraid of getting hurt that youâd rather hurt the other person first. đ đ
people who put all their cards on the table.
people who are emotionally available and show up fully with no hidden agendas in other words.
i would steer clear of anyone who brags about being a âsavage with no emotionsâ. đ
itâs like , no youâre just a coward who wants to have the upper hand because youâre so afraid of getting hurt that youâd rather hurt the other person first. đ đ
Posted by serenidadContext is necessary, of course. Are you always late because you want to be a Good Samaritan on my time? LOL. Iâm not referring to isolated incidents. Even in those isolated incidents, it doesnât hurt to quickly send a text and notify.Posted by aquarius09
Reading the thread reminds me of another two green flags:
2. Punctual. I will admonish if youâre late. I cannot stand tardy people. I just wonât date anyone unless they are punctual and well-mannered.
3. Smells good. I love men who wear a lil bit of cologne. Just right! I, myself, like to smell good.
if someone was late because they were helping someone (like, helping an old lady carry some heavy groceries for a few blocks etc đ), or if the late person looked visibly sick (due to not feeling well) , i wouldnât be angry lol
click to expand
Posted by CosmicCuntI forgot this! He doesnât have two Virgos in his personal planets.
She's not a Virgo
Posted by aquarius09yeah i totally get what youâre saying lol đ itâs annoying when someone is constantly trying to be a hero to others on your time đ and yup, a text is absolutely necessary if youâre going to be late lolPosted by serenidadPosted by aquarius09
Reading the thread reminds me of another two green flags:
2. Punctual. I will admonish if youâre late. I cannot stand tardy people. I just wonât date anyone unless they are punctual and well-mannered.
3. Smells good. I love men who wear a lil bit of cologne. Just right! I, myself, like to smell good.
if someone was late because they were helping someone (like, helping an old lady carry some heavy groceries for a few blocks etc đ), or if the late person looked visibly sick (due to not feeling well) , i wouldnât be angry lol
Context is necessary, of course. Are you always late because you want to be a Good Samaritan on my time? LOL. Iâm not referring to isolated incidents. Even in those isolated incidents, it doesnât hurt to quickly send a text and notify.click to expand
The light in our eyes when we look at each other
The feeling of safe haven
The knowing
The feeling of safe haven
The knowing
Posted by Undine
The light in our eyes when we look at each other
The feeling of safe haven
The knowing
yeah, feeling safe is so underrated yet so important.
âyour relationship should be a safe haven, not a battlefield. the world is hard enough already.â
Posted by aquarius09How about if they have multiple personal planets in 6th house, is that bad as well?Posted by CosmicCunt
She's not a Virgo
I forgot this! He doesnât have two Virgos in his personal planets.click to expand
Posted by BadderBunnyYou have these placements?Posted by goldenhourPosted by aquarius09Posted by CosmicCunt
She's not a Virgo
I forgot this! He doesnât have two Virgos in his personal planets.
click to expand
How about if they have multiple personal planets in 6th house, is that bad as well?
click to expand
What about multiple planets in 6th house and a Virgo moon. Virgo dominants need love too. đđclick to expand
I'm seeing one with multiple in 6th house plus Cap Moon. She's the most healthy person I've ever come across, but all this Virgo talk is making me sceptic now đ„¶đ”âđ«
What do I need to be wary about. Please help.
Posted by goldenhourYikes. I donât really agree with house astrology, so I donât know about that.Posted by aquarius09Posted by CosmicCunt
She's not a Virgo
I forgot this! He doesnât have two Virgos in his personal planets.
How about if they have multiple personal planets in 6th house, is that bad as well?click to expand
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
I knew relationships could be temporary (ironically wound up in a fairly lifelong one... thanks Uranus).
So, I appealed to my imagination for "green flags..."
So, "green flags" were persons who appealed to my imagination. Have had a really good time so far...
...soooo gooood.
So, I appealed to my imagination for "green flags..."
So, "green flags" were persons who appealed to my imagination. Have had a really good time so far...
...soooo gooood.
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