Need some convincing
This topic was created in the Dating forum by capgirl5 on Monday, August 12, 2019 and has 17 replies.
Should a woman pursue a guy after a fight/falling out or an unclear breakup ? Especially if the woman knows that the breakup was her fault ?
Many women are very against pursuing, I personally don't get it, I would like to keep the lines of communication open without crowding the guy. I would really appreciate both male and female perspective on this!
Many women are very against pursuing, I personally don't get it, I would like to keep the lines of communication open without crowding the guy. I would really appreciate both male and female perspective on this!
How are you sure that it was your fault? What was the fight about??
Posted by capgirl5I think it's about maturity and humility.
Should a woman pursue a guy after a fight/falling out or an unclear breakup ? Especially if the woman knows that the breakup was her fault ?
Many women are very against pursuing, I personally don't get it, I would like to keep the lines of communication open without crowding the guy. I would really appreciate both male and female perspective on this!
I would at least apologize, I don't expect to be pursued and I wouldn't pursue anyone either.
Someone not being able or wanting to say "I'm sorry" is very telling to me.
Posted by BrittnieI kind of asked him multiple times if he needed space which lead to the fight and then he ghosted but we did end up talking again later on
How are you sure that it was your fault? What was the fight about??
Posted by capgirl5Did he answer you with the space thing? Gurl I do not mess with men who don't communicate 🤷♂️Posted by Brittnie
How are you sure that it was your fault? What was the fight about??
I kind of asked him multiple times if he needed space which lead to the fight and then he ghosted but we did end up talking again later onclick to expand
Posted by BrittnieYes he said he was just busy but. But then brought it up a few weeks later telling me that it made him feel badPosted by capgirl5Posted by Brittnie
How are you sure that it was your fault? What was the fight about??
I kind of asked him multiple times if he needed space which lead to the fight and then he ghosted but we did end up talking again later on
Did he answer you with the space thing? Gurl I do not mess with men who don't communicate 🤷♂️click to expand
Posted by ErineldaYeah I am trying to do that. He was being open to conversation recently but I tried to contact him again today and no answer. I think I fucked it up anyway so I guess time to move on
Don't grovel, just put the ball in his court and pretend like it never happened.
It is not serious enough to beat a dead horse over.
I am thinking repeating yourself annoyed him, so now saying how sorry you are is not dropping it.
I learned this shit the hard way with guys, most of the time they just want you to drop it and move on.
Posted by capgirl5What do you mean he brought it up a few weeks later? What did he say??Posted by BrittniePosted by capgirl5Posted by Brittnie
How are you sure that it was your fault? What was the fight about??
I kind of asked him multiple times if he needed space which lead to the fight and then he ghosted but we did end up talking again later on
Did he answer you with the space thing? Gurl I do not mess with men who don't communicate 🤷♂️
Yes he said he was just busy but. But then brought it up a few weeks later telling me that it made him feel badclick to expand
Posted by BrittniePosted by capgirl5Posted by BrittniePosted by capgirl5Posted by Brittnie
How are you sure that it was your fault? What was the fight about??
I kind of asked him multiple times if he needed space which lead to the fight and then he ghosted but we did end up talking again later on
Did he answer you with the space thing? Gurl I do not mess with men who don't communicate 🤷♂️
Yes he said he was just busy but. But then brought it up a few weeks later telling me that it made him feel bad
What do you mean he brought it up a few weeks later? What did he say??click to expand
\
He just said it made him feel 'weird' and that he is just 'chilling' from dating for now. I was also going to be moving away and he was staring a new job (I know none of these would have mattered if it was meant to be) so he also mentioned that there were too many variables. I had also asked him if this was his final decision and he said - no, that we could go back to dating again but I'll have to understand that things will change and I can't always freak out (basically ask him if he needs space over and over again). So we didn't have any contact for a week and then he initiated contact and since then I have tried to stay in touch although I did say awkward things because I was clearly starting to walk on egg shells.
But idk since he hasn't responded to my text I guess I finally have a closure and will start to heal and move on
Been some really good advice ok here. I think it just came out wrong from you and May be came across as pushy. Just chill a while now but if you want to text to say hi do....Just don't bring what happened up. That's really for face to face talks which I'm sure will happen if you get back in a good place.
it's not like Capricorn women care if a man is taken or not
#justcardinalthings
#justcardinalthings
Posted by ErineldaThis is really brilliant advice and I completely agree with you.Posted by capgirl5Posted by Erinelda
Don't grovel, just put the ball in his court and pretend like it never happened.
It is not serious enough to beat a dead horse over.
I am thinking repeating yourself annoyed him, so now saying how sorry you are is not dropping it.
I learned this shit the hard way with guys, most of the time they just want you to drop it and move on.
Yeah I am trying to do that. He was being open to conversation recently but I tried to contact him again today and no answer. I think I fucked it up anyway so I guess time to move on
If you tried already, then the ball is in his court.
Do you really not know why not to chase dudes?
Have you ever had a guy you were not extremely interested in keep checking in, apologizing, messaging every few days, trying to get you to talk to him using several different angles, messaging you on holidays hoping you wont notice he is looking for any excuse to force you to talk to him ?? Eww right? That energy..
If you thought he was cute before you certainly won't after THAT shit right?
Women like me don't chase because there is no upside.
Guys fall in love by your absence, not chasing and there is no convincing you can do that will do you any good, it's all yucky.click to expand
It's funny because I once did this as I wanted my guy so much but for some reason it worked out ok. Goodness knows how but I believe that I had banked just enough good times and a strong connection to 'Just' get away with it lol and for that I'm eternally grateful lol xx but seriously I would never have been that way before or since. True love makes you crazy sometimes x
Posted by ErineldaNo your 100% right lol I made myself the best I could be for him as I was in love and basically I put my best self forward in every angle of myself be it personality dress sense and personality and that's what swung it in my favour. Had anyone of those been wrong particularly my personality when together I would not have stood a chance. But I'll tell you my biggest secret was actually just being fun kind loving and never once was I negative xPosted by SunmoonrisingPosted by ErineldaPosted by capgirl5Posted by Erinelda
Don't grovel, just put the ball in his court and pretend like it never happened.
It is not serious enough to beat a dead horse over.
I am thinking repeating yourself annoyed him, so now saying how sorry you are is not dropping it.
I learned this shit the hard way with guys, most of the time they just want you to drop it and move on.
Yeah I am trying to do that. He was being open to conversation recently but I tried to contact him again today and no answer. I think I fucked it up anyway so I guess time to move on
If you tried already, then the ball is in his court.
Do you really not know why not to chase dudes?
Have you ever had a guy you were not extremely interested in keep checking in, apologizing, messaging every few days, trying to get you to talk to him using several different angles, messaging you on holidays hoping you wont notice he is looking for any excuse to force you to talk to him ?? Eww right? That energy..
If you thought he was cute before you certainly won't after THAT shit right?
Women like me don't chase because there is no upside.
Guys fall in love by your absence, not chasing and there is no convincing you can do that will do you any good, it's all yucky.
This is really brilliant advice and I completely agree with you.
It's funny because I once did this as I wanted my guy so much but for some reason it worked out ok. Goodness knows how but I believe that I had banked just enough good times and a strong connection to 'Just' get away with it lol and for that I'm eternally grateful lol xx but seriously I would never have been that way before or since. True love makes you crazy sometimes x
This is gonna sound stone cold but if a guy sees enough assets in you, he will let certain things go.
Like if he thinks you are hot, perhaps you can 'splode on his ass once or twice a week Lol.
So even though he may have found the chasing as unattractive, you probably had an ass he liked enough for you to pull it off.
Haha I'm kidding but it's true. I think you are dead on the money as to how YOU got away with it, other girls probably wouldn't have.click to expand
Posted by ErineldaLol but it's funny too..you just need to meet him in person and be the sweetest most femine and looking and smelling gorgeous...make him laugh...dat boy will be back for more lol xxPosted by SunmoonrisingPosted by ErineldaPosted by SunmoonrisingPosted by ErineldaPosted by capgirl5Posted by Erinelda
Don't grovel, just put the ball in his court and pretend like it never happened.
It is not serious enough to beat a dead horse over.
I am thinking repeating yourself annoyed him, so now saying how sorry you are is not dropping it.
I learned this shit the hard way with guys, most of the time they just want you to drop it and move on.
Yeah I am trying to do that. He was being open to conversation recently but I tried to contact him again today and no answer. I think I fucked it up anyway so I guess time to move on
If you tried already, then the ball is in his court.
Do you really not know why not to chase dudes?
Have you ever had a guy you were not extremely interested in keep checking in, apologizing, messaging every few days, trying to get you to talk to him using several different angles, messaging you on holidays hoping you wont notice he is looking for any excuse to force you to talk to him ?? Eww right? That energy..
If you thought he was cute before you certainly won't after THAT shit right?
Women like me don't chase because there is no upside.
Guys fall in love by your absence, not chasing and there is no convincing you can do that will do you any good, it's all yucky.
This is really brilliant advice and I completely agree with you.
It's funny because I once did this as I wanted my guy so much but for some reason it worked out ok. Goodness knows how but I believe that I had banked just enough good times and a strong connection to 'Just' get away with it lol and for that I'm eternally grateful lol xx but seriously I would never have been that way before or since. True love makes you crazy sometimes x
This is gonna sound stone cold but if a guy sees enough assets in you, he will let certain things go.
Like if he thinks you are hot, perhaps you can 'splode on his ass once or twice a week Lol.
So even though he may have found the chasing as unattractive, you probably had an ass he liked enough for you to pull it off.
Haha I'm kidding but it's true. I think you are dead on the money as to how YOU got away with it, other girls probably wouldn't have.
No your 100% right lol I made myself the best I could be for him as I was in love and basically I put my best self forward in every angle of myself be it personality dress sense and personality and that's what swung it in my favour. Had anyone of those been wrong particularly my personality when together I would not have stood a chance. But I'll tell you my biggest secret was actually just being fun kind loving and never once was I negative x
See THIS is why MY butt can't be chasing. I literally just sent a skeleton meme to the guy I am talking to saying: "This is you waiting to meet someone who never lies to you".. Lol.click to expand
Posted by virgoOPPPI mean I wouldn't fuck with a guy if there is another girl involved in ANYWAY. But if we were dating and we were on a break and he starts seeing someone else which doesn't work out and he comes crawling back i'll take him back if he cleans up his act
it's not like Capricorn women care if a man is taken or not
#justcardinalthings
I think this is only an issue with fixed and cardinal signs.
Mutables dont seem to have this problem of give and take.
Mutables dont seem to have this problem of give and take.
Posted by DMVHmm are Virgos considered mutable?
I think this is only an issue with fixed and cardinal signs.
Mutables dont seem to have this problem of give and take.
Also what's the problem? chasing ?
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