Am I BORING?? Or scary? Really, what's up!

Hail, Geminis!

So, I've been told by my ex (who dumped me but wants to remain friends) to go meet new people. This, after falling in love and seeing a future together (he even passed my Virgo Moon). But there's no use hanging on to someone who doesn't want me. So I've been meeting with people. I met him on one of those website thingies and so have gone back there. My sense of humor can be rather 'out there' and quirky and hasn't been clicking very well. Not surprised, so that's not the problem. Each person has been very kind and I do not fault them one bit. The thing is, I'm very intrigued by this one guy, who happens to be a Gemini. Much about me that made me too hard to cope with (my interests change rapidly, I can be rather scatter-brained in discussion, I do NOT like to sit still, I LOVE to theorize), he has in abundance! Moreso even than me so I feel like I'd have something fun to aspire to, rather than be discouraged from. We have similar values (including liking to get up off the couch and learn new things) and so should have a lot to talk about. Even if there's no 'connection' he should make for a very interesting conversation or good company to a fun event. I never feel as if there's such a thing as too many friends. So I said hi.

He won't respond. I've been witty. I've been complimentary. With no contact I even did a sort of ramble of hey how are you, there was this great event that happened and it was fun, too bad you missed it, there's another one coming up, would you want to go. He has to be single or he wouldn't be on the website so often. Danged thing lets you see when they're online and if/when they visit your profile... it's very stalker-friendly! O_o Yes he's checked out my profile. Even a night-owl like me.

So most of my 'This is me' is in a list. I copied it to my DXP profile. The astrology bits are not on the other place. Please check it out and tell me if any of that screams "Don't respond". Really, be blunt. I wants to knowz.

Ironically enough, his own 'This is me' is mostly in a list as well. I remember reading in another thread on your board that this is a good tactic for figuring things out. ^_^

And the ending of his is as follows:

"I think thats probably enough for a first impression, if you read all of this, I am totally impressed, and I hope you email me to find out more =) "

If he's that open to communication, and online all the time... something's off, about me. Curiosity may kill the cat but the cat has 9 lives. So, details please, I'll take 'em!

Well let's see the 27 things that you posted on your profile is enough to make me not read past the first few.

First thing you need to understand about our nature is that we have an attention span of a rock. If you don't catch us with in the first few moments we are off somewhere else. Second thing if you leave nothing to find out we don't want to pursue you. This might just be a human thing rather than an astrology factor. However Gemini's we are curious to a fault and you list way too much in the beginning. Id be like "bleh Im so not reading all this". You really have to stand out especially seeing Gemini's always have more than a few potentials rotating at all times. This makes it especially difficult for you non sociable types. That means water and earth signs mostly. Especially Virgos they can be so odd and awkward around us.

I see you are a Scorpio. Interesting seeing that most people talk about the Scorpio/Gemini pairing as if it were an atrocity. But this is constantly going on. We are so different that we cannot help but wonder about the other. With that said you need to leave some mystery open. I think your Virgo moon doesn't help wanting to list all your redeeming qualities from the start. Don't let us get the whole picture up front then we won't wonder about you. Need to leave it to the imagination. I will admit I am attracted to Scorpio men like no other because of this dark mysterious form.

Posted by Draumstafir
And the ending of his is as follows:

"I think thats probably enough for a first impression, if you read all of this, I am totally impressed, and I hope you email me to find out more =) "

If he's that open to communication, and online all the time... something's off, about me. Curiosity may kill the cat but the cat has 9 lives. So, details please, I'll take 'em!

This was a canned response. Don't mind me being brutally honest but I'm sure he tells everyone this. You have to answer back with something witty or leave it open ended. I can tell you right now he's already looked at your profile and since he has not been inquisitive beyond that point you can rest assure that you do have competition. Nature of the beast when it comes to online dating.

Posted by aquabeauty


Sorry to say , but change your profile. That is way to much information, if I was a guy I would run to the hills. Just put some nice simple things out there. Short to the point and fun.

Like what you might enjoy doing. To me men like to know that you are fun, happy, down to earth and drama free. All the rest of the things you listed should come with time. Good luck..

+1 that's what I said. Way too much info im like damn, nothing else to talk about or ask 😐

So it's not hypocritical at all that he did basically the same thing?

I don't know his Moon or anything else. 😉

I don't know, not trying to be offensive, but

1) too long. Try to be concise (though I did peruse it so I could present my opinion, but from my online dating experiences so far, with that long list of profile, men most likely wouldn't bother to read pass number 3 or 4.)

2) if not, then try to be interesting or witty - to me, your profile is trying way too hard to convey yourself 'happy, well behaved, a perfect girl' ... it's boring in my opinion (but then my sense of humour is on somewhat weird and whacked up side, so you shouldn't really take this too seriously lol) & it feels a bit fakey as well. I don't know, try not to sound 'way too hard trying?' :S You put some negative sides, I noticed, as in number 2o, but it sounds vague and be there to balance out the rest, the other numbers with good stuff.

3) but then, you and I are very different people and looking for different things in a parter as well - for me, I want someone who can challenge me back and don't back off when I dare them, so my online dating profile is written and geared to attract those sorts of men, so I don't know, maybe you firstly want to assess what kind of men you want to date or get involved with, then proceed with that as in how your profile may sound to them - either intriguing or not. My profile has a few sections that work as a sift so that if someone messages me then I'm pretty confident that this person and I would somewhat click well at least.
Also, from my own experiences, there are tons of profiles saying that their owners proclaiming that they're outgoing, easy going, nice, kind, thoughtful, curious, open-minded, etc. etc. - all those adjectives don't really give others an idea of what kind of a person you are, instead, they sound quite vague oftentimes. Not saying that you have to fabricate much, but your profile needs to stand out in some way. Have to have some uniqueness so that makes others want to message you and get to know you more.

4) so probably insert some anecdotes, not a lengthy one, probably one paragraph long, but it should be unique and pique readers' interests, and most of all revealing what kind of a person you really are. I have one on my profile and guys message me asking 'so in that section of your profile, you wrote this and that blah blah, that was really funny but mean at the same time, you wrote 'something' made you that thing, but what exactly was the something may I ask?' Give readers of your profile something they can ask you about.

But after all, it's really about what kind of a partner or date you're looking for... if you want to attract cute, nice, and sweet people then I believe your present profile would work fine, but if you want to find someone on a bit more daring, exciting, and adventurous side then you may want to update your profile.

Just my two cents 🙂
Hope you find this helpful & if my reply made you upset in any way, then I am sorry, I did not mean it, really.

3) but then you and I may be*

Omg! Too much info--who wants to read all that?! I'm a Gem and let me tell you even I would pass this profile up on a dating site! Im a lover of information, but this leaves absolutely NOTHING to the imagination...

Agreed. Too much. It's overwhelming and after skimming over it, I remember..you love your dog. I picture you with post it notes all over your house.. You prob have gluten free, chemical free, high maintenance food everywhere, and you bite.
Take no offense, I don't know you.. I am just staying the impression I got.
Good luck

Hi Draumstafir, I only read the 27 items and half of you first post. Your funny, and honest, and all of which is kind of mad in a good way🙂 You're still young and it only takes that one guy. You remind me of someone in so many ways🙂... I'll have to read the rest of your post later...

Oh, don't worry! I'm rather hard to offend. I have a knack for laughing at myself all the time. As far back as grade school some girls came up to me and told me something 'awful' about myself and I actually thought it was funny, and laughed! They then told me "We're not laughing WITH you... we're laughing AT you." Of course then I shut up and sort of wanted to cry. But that's life.

I hadn't actually counted his, but now I have. 🙂 Mine is 27 because that's how old I am. Just thought it was cute. His is 17 and in no particular order. But he says things like:

- Life is an adventure, I love cuddling on a couch...but I want to see the world, and most importantly, experience life for what it is
-I have a major appreciate for art, art history, art anything. Yes, music is an art form, and one that I could spend a lifetime studying... I play guitar, piano, bass, and if I really like you, you might hear me sing occasionally.
-I am a hopeless romantic, I have a soft spot for cheesy movies, and no, that doesn't make me less of a man
- I have a very healthy belief and faith system...but it's mine, you are entitled to yours, and not only will I respect it, I will ask about it, because I want to learn. I believe in God, and in Christ, but I have also read the Qur'an, and I respect and understand other people's religion.
- I work out alot, not so I can look great in a Tapout T-shirt, but because respecting yourself is the first step of respecting others...plus, I don't really want to have a triple bypass at 42.
-I am an adult, I do adult things, and I want an adult relationship. I don't want casual, and I don't want to meet you and your friends at the club for the first date...it's not my style anymore. If you aren't interested in something mature and on a real level. I'm not the guy for you, and that's ok, because we're not all meant for each other. Spelling, coupled with the use of adult words and capitalization is a definite must.
- I don't need to rediscover the meaning of life, it's just nice to know if I wanted to, someone would tell me how crazy I sounded. I love to laugh and make jokes, sharing that with someone is amazingly attractive.

He also has things outside his list, so it's longer than just 17 points. I forgot to mention that. It's one of the longer ones I've seen. I had fun reading it.

This to me = intellectual with a thirst for learning more and more, art interests (my own art ranges from drawing, painting, computer renderings, jewelry, cooking, acting, tae kwon do, french horn, costume making, sewing, sculpting, carving... um, if I haven't tried it yet, it's on my to-do list, or please introduce me to it!), and enough concern for health to match my walking pace (he also runs, with his dog, who is like a daughter to him). I have an odd walking pace. I like to go FAST, and then stop at every interesting thing. I really will pick things up and poke at funny looking plants. I want to experience it with all my senses, even the small things... they inspire me. If I'm with someone I might only point out the interesting thing, and stop if they do. I love if they point out neat things too! And I prefer that people don't look at me crazy when there are no interesting things so I want to speed up the pace for a time. I'm not a super athlete or anything, but a lot of guys I meet end up getting winded. Then I feel guilty. I love talking, in person, at a philosophical level. Comparing mental notes in a good-natured way. It's just fun, for me. I put so much info on my profile because I sort of want to weed out guys who only want to talk about fantasy football and celebrities. There are a multitude of bar-hopping girls and guys on that site. No offense to folks who like that. Everyone has to like something. But it's just not fun for me.

I'm not looking for love right now. It's honestly too soon. But I am looking for high-energy information sponges, like me. Because, well, FUN! I know that friendships can evolve, too, so it's worth a shot to find friends who look fun. There are tons of cultural events coming up in the area. It's just that sort of season. They're great places to bring people, but not usually great places to meet people, because the people come in pairs.

A fellow user of these forums has Virgo Rising and has listed on his profile that Virgo Rising, with Virgo ruled by Mercury, is very related to a person's Mercury placement. Could the same hold true for Virgo Moon? Mine is in Sagittarius:


Fun yet?

OP, I don't know, I've got only limited info about the guy you're interested in, but let me guess as you sound you want some more inputs...??:

1) do you have a nice pic or pics of yourself? - I know this may (and very much likely) sound lame and superficial, but from my own experiences regarding online dating, people respond to visual stimulations oftentimes or more than they are willing to admit themselves (but I've quite this much of my own experiences as proof to afford that theory? :S) ... what can be said, we've got eyes, we appreciate beautiful things (in general... there are some weird folk out there who may worship ugliness all the same as they do beauty? lol) ... I get messages from men who clearly I can tell that they didn't even bother to read the very first paragraph of my profile (lol), apparently, they messaged me solely based on my profile pics... well, it's okay as long as their messages are interesting, but sadly most of times they are not, just a few lines with words like 'sexy, pretty, beautiful, hot, baby, cutie, sweetie, etc. etc.' ... okay, I'm not your sweetie so stop calling me that lol

Anyways, you shoot him out a message first but then he didn't respond, I only can assume his reasons that it's because either you're not physically his type or your profile did not appeal to him, i.e., not interesting enough, or you're just a different sort from which he's looking for.

2) or maybe he's speaking to, or dating someone else. Not everyone drops themselves from online dating scene because they are dating one or a few people, for some people they like to keep their options open till they find out one who really gets along well - so despite the fact that he's frequently online, that doesn't necessarily mean or guarantee that he's or must be single - you never know unless you ask him directly (but then even you ask, some guys lie lol Argh.)

3) or you probably scared him away a bit with your messaging him too much? I don't think this hardly is the case, though, unless a girl sends out really weird or psychotic messages (and from what I have read in your post, your messages weren't crazy in my opinion), from my personal experiences so far, guys are most of the time happy to receive messages from girls and respond?

I don't know, if I were you, I would update my profile, with possibly nice pics lol then try once more with really interesting message and if that

doesn't work out, then I'd take that as a hint - that he's not interested.

You sound like a cheerful girl, I wish you luck! 🙂 (and even if things don't work out well, there are & should be tons of guys for you! 🙂)

Alright, so, mostly boring. That's digestible. Thanks ^_^ I'll move on.

Of course I have pics lol 😄

Let him go. If you never met him, u don't need the headache. Gem women have too much going on. You do not need to disperse your energy anymore than it already is. Take it from me. Too much energy. Peace.

It sounds like a case of be careful what you wish for.....You might be too much for him and even though he wants to be an "adult" about things. Looks like he wants to have fun and laugh within a relationship that is not too rigid or has high expectations. Since he might not be able to stick to the plan (everything he says) you might...

Your profile should definitely weed out the incompatibles 🙂

Posted by gemeliorist
It sounds like a case of be careful what you wish for.....You might be too much for him and even though he wants to be an "adult" about things. Looks like he wants to have fun and laugh within a relationship that is not too rigid or has high expectations. Since he might not be able to stick to the plan (everything he says) you might...

Your profile should definitely weed out the incompatibles 🙂

click to expand

See, dangit, that's just what I'm after lol. I'm in a spot right now where what I really need is a friend. Friends can evolve, so I wouldn't turn that down in its own timely manner, but I don't want that at this very moment. I want some light, witty banter that tickles my brain and makes me laugh. I want spontaneity. If I can make this friend laugh too then ROCK ON! But he's got to be smart and able to change subjects on a dime. I do that myself and am very used to toning it down so others can keep up. I philosophize broadly. To meet someone in person who could outpace me would actually feel wonderful and like something to aspire to. Think: House before it became morbid. Think: Doctor Who while Davies was the main writer. Think: Eddie Izzard as a stand-up comedian.

Ermygawd now I'm going to Wikipedia Eddie's sign.

I don't like bars or clubs so wouldn't even dream of inviting someone to those. I invited him to an outdoor art exhibit of painters, musicians, and amazing food, spread across a big wide pedestrian mall. It's a historical setting of brick-lined streets and architectural delights.

Should I pursue a different sign, or is this the right one? I've never pursued anyone of any age for any intent based on astrology. I liked that profile and what it says before reading the sign. Then I was curious about 'What is a Gemini' and liked the Google results. And your whole board makes me smile. Quirky! I'm still new to astrology itself (though am picking it up quickly). He might be taken, like you said, or think I'm physically unattractive. It shouldn't be the idea of a list since he likes them so much. ^_^

His intro: I like lists, so I made one for a little get to know me. I know this list might potentially come off as a bit brash, or even mean, but please understand, that is the last thing on Earth that would describe me. I hope that you read this, and view it as I do, a mildly humorous detail of who I am, and what I am looking for =)

You told him you were Mount Kilimanjaro from the get go...and the dreaded doubts crept in immediately. He got what he asked for....hahaha. He wants everything that you do, however, he might not be able to live up to it in the short term... and things could get competitive too. He might have been taking his time and going over your profile trying to figure out the best way to approach you. hahaha...

Since you kept messaging him, he now appears rude or other..due to his lack of response so it might be difficult for him to explain himself. IMO. I don't know, but I hear oh brother playing especially every time you message him.....lol

Not to be dismissive of younger gems, but older gems are great for those who want stability along with fun. We can still go from a teenager to a retiree in zero seconds but a lot less often and I don't mean to make light of your dilemma but there's some humour to it, sorry 🙂 He might just decide to make contact or maybe not....you should probably let it go though....

The way you have your profile requires patience. If you want the witty banter and all, you might want to shorten your list considerably. Just sayin 🙂