My mom is a Gemini. We never really seem to be on the same wavelength. I get frustrated/angry when I constantly have to be explaining my choice of words, actions or decisions to my mother. I've always been independent and maybe a lil stubborn and she is just too controlling for me. She is very organized and likes to plan everything (which is great) but she goes way overboard sometimes. I'm usually straight forward with what I say but she's always reading too much into what I say or don't say. We seem to get along better the less we talk and the less involved she is. The problem is I want her to be involved but without the constant arguments and the 'takeover'(I think we can reason things out without the shouting and screaming). She has a sharp temper and I prefer to walk away rather than stir it up some more but I'm realizing that that's just as bad as staying. She hates that.
One major disagreement we have is why I chose marine biology instead of medicine.
Giving other examples:
- It doesn't matter what I like, it's what I should like e.g. I didn't like dresses as a child... I got the frilliest of frocks.
- I was a lil tom-boyish for awhile... I had to learn to sew.( I appreciate that).
- My favorite color is purple... I get blue instead. (It suits me)
- I prefer marine biology because it's more in line with my personality and what i really would love to do... I should be a doctor that's a worthwhile career.
Man I wonder does she really know me?
Your right those thing are on the surface things. It just so hard to get to the core of what the problems are. I know she has been through a lot... especially with my dad. Sometimes she seems to be insecure about something.Recently she jokingly said to me 'why do i even bother? You probably won't remember me when I get old. You are you father's daughter but I guess I gotta do what I gotta do'. It irritated me a lil because I know that's not true. But we are never able to converse about certain things without the situation becoming weird.I wana talk to her but I'm beginning to think a therapist might be needed to help the process...
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Apr 01, 2010Comments: 0 · Posts: 311 · Topics: 11
I have a Gemini older sister who is very caring but is absolutely terrible at expressing it. When something bothers her, she can be extremely vicious and cruel towards everyone around her. I think a lot of Geminis are terrible at expressing their love or concern for someone else because they're not as in tuned with their emotions or other's emotions, so when they verbalize what is meant in your best interest, it comes across as being rude and insensitive.
When my sister acts this way, I've learned to directly tell her while it's fresh that she's being this, this, and this. It helps her recognize how it affects me and I've seen her be more sympathetic towards my feelings as a result.
It seems like your mom may be a stereotypical Gemini with really bottled up emotions because she sounds exactly like my sister. You need to sit down and talk to her, not only about how she treats you, but also about what is hurting her.
Gems and Virgos are from planet Mercury, communication is your outlet. If your mom doesn't have that outlet, she probably has a lot of pent up insecurities and is reflecting that outwardly but indirectly. Like many Virgos, Gems also become wary, critical, and resentful towards their surrounding and people if they've experienced hardships in life and love... Deep down they fear being hurt so subconsciously hurt you first to avoid the attack; but what they're really craving for is to be close to you, talk to you, and have a connection with you.
You both need to help each other.