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Apr 27, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 27
So today, the aqua's ex wife added him on facebook. With her lst name still the aqua's last name. I was surprised. I realized it was probably the reason why he deactivated his account last night and created a new one with a different name and added only me in it. Anyway, I felt something strange was going on but I'm not really the type who would ask. So this morning, he was acting weird again and then told me that maybe he needs to reactivate it in the mean time. Upon reactivating, I saw the newly added girl which was his ex and I got a message from him about it. This time I decided to ask a bit. I asked why she's using his last name and what the real status is. He explained himself and said he's not lying to me that they are separated. He said his ex might have done it for their 6-year old son so he won't be confused. He told me he will email her and bcc me and tell her about me. I didn't ask him to do it. I was passive but at the same time I wanted to know where I stand. I wasn't even sure if I was a mistress left unaware that I was.
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Apr 27, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 27
He emailed the girl and bcc me and he said he wants to see his son on the 20th and that also he's found a new girl and was asking what she thinks about it. Reason being is that he wants me to meet his son too. She replied and said "sure you can. Who is she?" And we were both discussing whether or not to tell her who I am. Ofcourse, it's scary. But also, I felt she needs to know. I told him to give her my name. Not sure if he did. Probably not because the girl would just go crazy searching for me and I told him, it's ok as long as she doesn't go to my office and get me in a hair pulling incident.
For some reason, I wasn't emotional about this. I didn't feel bad nor did I cry or get angry. It was like I understood. I believed him. Moreover, I didn't care if he leaves or if he stays with me. What had been running in my head all this time was "if he's for me, he's for me. We have a wonderful thing. We don't fight, we give each other freedom, we laugh together. If that's not enough to keep him, then so be it". It's strange because if this haappened when I was younger, I would have panicked, gotten angry and walked away. Is this love? Is this acceptance? Is this being careless? Also, did I do the right thing not to message his ex-wife and confirm their status even if he told me I can because he's got nothing to hide?
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Apr 27, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 27
Also, he mentioned to me that because of his email to her, he screwed up every freaking chance to get back with her and that's exactly what he wanted. That recently, he was seduced and that something almost happened between them but since he's 36, he resisted it because he just don't want another kid with her, he's more sensible and he feels he would never get back with her again. Of course I do not believe it 100 percent. I felt something must have happened. But is there any going back after that? Should I get angry or move on from it anyway, I never forced him to stay with me. I am giving him his freedom of choice. But he always comes back. Sweeter, better. Am I doing the right thing here? Is there an angle of this situation that I haven't taken grasp of?
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Feb 24, 2011Comments: 0 · Posts: 1394 · Topics: 61
they have unfinished business. regardless of what you think, they still have things going on. if your intuition tells you that there is something - bank on it. there is something. feel free to read through my previous posts from last year - you will find a similar story that turned really ugly.
I would move on... find someone who is not just separated - but really has been alone and put his life back together after such a relationship.
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Apr 27, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 27
They've been separated for 3 years and he had relationships after they separated. However, he told me that everytime he would admit he was married before and had a son, they would break up with him. He didn't admit it to me during the courtship process. But he did after things got warmer. And I accepted it wholeheartedly, much to his surprise. Reason being is that my dad passed away when I was 8 and my step dad accepted me and my sister when he married my mom. I swore I would do the same if that ever happened to me.
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Apr 27, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 27
That's what I thought. When he told me "go ahead and ask her" and I said to him, "that is very tempting. I wanna tell her Hi! You must be Billy's mom. Pleased to meet you. Are you and my boyfriend still married? But then, that's not me." And he smiled. Yes, I do understand that I cannot ask him to forget them. I asked him before if he ever loved her. He said at one point he did but then the connection wasn't enough which resulted to their separation on their 3rd year of marriage. He said she wasn't a bad mom or wife. It's just that they got married for the kid and it wasn't the right thing. And that he loves his child although at first, abortion came in mind but then he said he's not that kind of person. His kid is a wonderful kid. I'm only seeing his pictures. He shows them to me and I felt that I love the kid like my own already. I asked if he ever wanted to have custody of his son but he said he doesn't want to because the kid has a mom and he wants a new family. He wants kids with me. In case that he wanted custody of the kid though, I am willing to take him as my own son. Although, I'm too young to be his mom. I dunno if this is love but I do know, I have accepted the fact that it's always gonna be a package deal.
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Apr 27, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 195 · Topics: 27
Relax. I guess, what he meant was the kid wouldn't come with him and leave his mom. I saw that happen to a cousin of mine. And usually, if the kid is a minor, the custody really would be with the mom until the kid reaches 18 when he can decide who he wants to be with. I can see him do his daddy duties though. He pays the monthly child support, sees the kid once or twice a month. And the kid likes him but doesn't want to stay with him without his mom. It might appear douchey at first look because he said he wants a new family, a family that will last longer together. I wanted to ask him to have custody of his son though. Not because I want him to stop communicating with his ex-wife. But like I have said many times in the past, I like his son a lot although he hasn't met me yet. And I do understand that the kid won't like me at first because he will see me as the enemy, the reason why his parents aren't together. It's normal. Been there, done that. How I just wish things would work out in the right and fair manner...