Distinguishing between puppy-love, two-faced psycho, and naïve virgin

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by Whorpio on Wednesday, November 1, 2017 and has 19 replies.
Soooo the Gemini and I finally met last night.

This guy is light years ahead of me on the attachment scale. When he first showed up to my apartment he wanted to cuddle and watch Stranger Things. Then we got steak. Then back to my place to I guess cuddle more and watch Stranger Things and make out, all while he keeps saying mushy things like “how did I get so lucky” and “I have the most amazing girl” and “I love you” etc etc. Also a shit ton of kissing. He keeps up with this mushy nonsense even when we’re fucking. Then when we go to bed, he still says that mushy stuff in his sleep!! It’s weird af. And then he’s clingy af because we were planning on getting breakfast together this morning but he was running late for work, so now we gon meet for lunch instead 😬

It just sorta scares me since we’ve only known eachother a week. It’s like he’s obsessed and that’s what scares me for obvious reasons. But at the same time maybe I just have PTSD and therefore suspicious of overly-invested dudes. But still, there’s that fear that he’s gonna murder me or my dog because he must be a lil stupid to be having these feelings this early in the game.

Just wondering if it’s just his Aries Venus in overdrive or if it sounds like he gon murder me or if this is just normal for virgins.
Posted by blvckphase
Hahahaha. Well this is quite the opposite scenario from what we normally hear of Gemini men on hereLaughing

I agree that it is early on for all that he is saying.. But it sounds like you are turned off by the mushy stuff anyways.. If you are, then you should maybe just tell him you aren't ready for all this heavy talk yet cause it sounds like the 2 of you maybe like different things in a relationship and he will probably get hurt during the process of him investing even more feelings while you decide if this is something you even want. I mean he tells you he loves you and you came here and kinda ripped him up for it and all the other mushy stuff. I understand that this is new to you and he IS jumping the gun.. it just sounds to me like you guys are on different pages though and you should be upfront with him about that and how you feel about it.

It won’t seem like I’m telling him not to be himself?
Posted by Whorpio
Soooo the Gemini and I finally met last night.

This guy is light years ahead of me on the attachment scale. When he first showed up to my apartment he wanted to cuddle and watch Stranger Things. Then we got steak. Then back to my place to I guess cuddle more and watch Stranger Things and make out, all while he keeps saying mushy things like “how did I get so lucky” and “I have the most amazing girl” and “I love you” etc etc. Also a shit ton of kissing. He keeps up with this mushy nonsense even when we’re fucking. Then when we go to bed, he still says that mushy stuff in his sleep!! It’s weird af. And then he’s clingy af because we were planning on getting breakfast together this morning but he was running late for work, so now we gon meet for lunch instead 😬

It just sorta scares me since we’ve only known eachother a week. It’s like he’s obsessed and that’s what scares me for obvious reasons. But at the same time maybe I just have PTSD and therefore suspicious of overly-invested dudes. But still, there’s that fear that he’s gonna murder me or my dog because he must be a lil stupid to be having these feelings this early in the game.

Just wondering if it’s just his Aries Venus in overdrive or if it sounds like he gon murder me or if this is just normal for virgins.
normal for virgins, anyways what kind of steak, and from where?

Posted by Whorpio
Soooo the Gemini and I finally met last night.

This guy is light years ahead of me on the attachment scale. When he first showed up to my apartment he wanted to cuddle and watch Stranger Things. Then we got steak. Then back to my place to I guess cuddle more and watch Stranger Things and make out, all while he keeps saying mushy things like “how did I get so lucky” and “I have the most amazing girl” and “I love you” etc etc. Also a shit ton of kissing. He keeps up with this mushy nonsense even when we’re fucking. Then when we go to bed, he still says that mushy stuff in his sleep!! It’s weird af. And then he’s clingy af because we were planning on getting breakfast together this morning but he was running late for work, so now we gon meet for lunch instead 😬

It just sorta scares me since we’ve only known eachother a week. It’s like he’s obsessed and that’s what scares me for obvious reasons. But at the same time maybe I just have PTSD and therefore suspicious of overly-invested dudes. But still, there’s that fear that he’s gonna murder me or my dog because he must be a lil stupid to be having these feelings this early in the game.

Just wondering if it’s just his Aries Venus in overdrive or if it sounds like he gon murder me or if this is just normal for virgins.
Hehehe, I happen to be a friend of a Gemini man who's just like that. Big Grin

When he falls in love it's love at first sight, lightning, blah, blah, blah.. (in reality it's just an obsession).

He's also sociopathic...

Gl with your dude Winking
Posted by Liriell
Hehehe, I happen to be a friend of a Gemini man who's just like that. Big Grin

When he falls in love it's love at first sight, lightning, blah, blah, blah.. (in reality it's just an obsession).

He's also sociopathic...

Gl with your dude Winking

How long does the obsession last?
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by Liriell
Hehehe, I happen to be a friend of a Gemini man who's just like that. Big Grin

When he falls in love it's love at first sight, lightning, blah, blah, blah.. (in reality it's just an obsession).

He's also sociopathic...

Gl with your dude Winking

How long does the obsession last?
click to expand
Long, a few years.

I'd even risk saying that in some cases forever (they'll never stop loving after being dumped).
Posted by Liriell
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by Liriell
Hehehe, I happen to be a friend of a Gemini man who's just like that. Big Grin

When he falls in love it's love at first sight, lightning, blah, blah, blah.. (in reality it's just an obsession).

He's also sociopathic...

Gl with your dude Winking

How long does the obsession last?

Long, a few years.

I'd even risk saying that in some cases forever (they'll never stop loving after being dumped).
click to expand

He ain’t gon do something crazy after I dump him, will he?
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by Liriell
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by Liriell
Hehehe, I happen to be a friend of a Gemini man who's just like that. Big Grin

When he falls in love it's love at first sight, lightning, blah, blah, blah.. (in reality it's just an obsession).

He's also sociopathic...

Gl with your dude Winking

How long does the obsession last?

Long, a few years.

I'd even risk saying that in some cases forever (they'll never stop loving after being dumped).

He ain’t gon do something crazy after I dump him, will he?
click to expand
Nah, if it becomes ltr he may throw a tantrum, stomp his feet, indulge in alcohol, become crying-depressed for a few months/years. Nothing crazy though
Posted by oxSunQueenxo
...

What did I just read...
I know right lol - my eyes are burning ...
Posted by blvckphase
I'd maybe approach it more as saying that you are not yet comfortable or ready for what he is putting out there. Let him know that you want time to get to know him better. But if you are the type of person who is just turned off by mushy stuff, then it seems like he may not be a good fit for you.

Aight imma tell him I ain’t comfortable. He wants to go to dinner tonight, imma tell him he can’t spend the night though and say we should take it slow.
Posted by MiZLeo
Omg girl.... run.... I mean.... uh. What do you want? Do you see this as being a long term thing? Was he a virgin? I don't know the back story.

I’m not sure what I want or where I see this going. Yeah he was a virgin.
Posted by Ravishing
I'm a Gemini with Aries Venus too. Very affectionate! I love cuddles, holding hands, giving cute nicknames, etc. *giggles* But no, I don't say cheesy stuff like that or "I love you." Don't even say ILY to my mom and never said it to my ex. lol.
Yeah the 'I love you' after only one week would creep me tf out. Ask him to chill it on the L word.
Posted by blvckphase
Posted by Whorpio
Aight imma tell him I ain’t comfortable. He wants to go to dinner tonight, imma tell him he can’t spend the night though and say we should take it slow.

That's a good idea. It's so much easier when you are both on the same page and you aren't feeling pressured.
click to expand

Ok so I did it and now I feel better about our connection because he seemingly respected it.
Posted by Arielle83
He sounds like the june 18 guy I met and casually dated for a month.

He said he was in love after 2 weeks.

Then after a month of it continuing I realised he was being jealous and passive aggressively controlling.

I'd be observant. Is he even sincere or infatuated?

I don’t know if it’s sincere or infatuation. I do know that when I’m infatuated with someone I don’t act the way he is.

And I think he has already tried to passively aggressively control me! I can’t remember how, but I remember thinking “this idiot”. Then he does get jealous because I was telling him about something I did sexually (he asked!!!) and then right after he wanted to do it, when we was finna go to sleep 😒

LOL, that's how my ex husband Gemini was when I first met him.
Posted by nikkistar
LOL, that's how my ex husband Gemini was when I first met him.

What happened later?
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by nikkistar
LOL, that's how my ex husband Gemini was when I first met him.

What happened later?
click to expand
We still remain good friends now, and consider each other family. But that "newness" wears off, and it's not like that after awhile.
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by nikkistar
LOL, that's how my ex husband Gemini was when I first met him.

What happened later?

We still remain good friends now, and consider each other family. But that "newness" wears off, and it's not like that after awhile.
click to expand

Sweet, so nothing dangerous?

Posted by Whorpio
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by Whorpio
Posted by nikkistar
LOL, that's how my ex husband Gemini was when I first met him.

What happened later?

We still remain good friends now, and consider each other family. But that "newness" wears off, and it's not like that after awhile.

Sweet, so nothing dangerous?

click to expand
I didn't say that.... lol

My ex, at least, has issues of being self centered and self righteous. Also had an issue with accepting responsibility for his mistakes. Always deferring the blame onto myself, instead of taking accountability for his own human mistakes. Same with another Gemini ex I had too. Both had a tendency to absolve themselves of abhorrent behaviors, and say "well you made me do it". Apologies are often "Sorry you feel that way" type of apologies. And that stubbornness of not facing up to their mistakes, can last years, with a lot of arguing that they aren't at fault. They will eventually admit they messed up, but its like pulling teeth to do so.

Now, I am not saying all Geminis are like this, but at least all the ones I have had relationships with, have been.