Gem guy advice

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by millydee on Wednesday, February 6, 2019 and has 13 replies.
Im a female cancer - jul 6

he's a gum - jun 10

Ive known my gem guy for 2 years. We dated and broke up for multiple reasons. I was willing to work through our differences but he ended it because of the following:

1. I would at times withhold things from him because of pride

2. I had male friends

3. I lied about occasionally smoking cigarettes (when I'm stressed, I smoke them)

4. I had social media (he doesn't have social media and avoids it like is a plague)

5. He said I make him think too much and he hates to think too much (whatever that means)

He said that he couldn't trust me and he didn't see me being his wife. He would always make up these CRAZY ass assumptions. For ex, he'll ask if I was at the bar picking up guys and taking them home to ave sex with them. lol. like crazy butter.

Fast forward, we've started talking again. I have deleted all my social media EXCEPT instagram. I've told every male friend that I want to work things out with this guy so I ended friendships with them. I'm also more transparent with him which he said he appreciates. Okay, so today we were talking and he says "Milly, if you hurt me or lie to me again I will hurt you because I know myself. I really loved you and tried to build a foundation with you but you hurt me."

Soooooo, is he saying this because he's guarded or....? I didn't like it honestly but I just let him vent. Also, Im a cancer and I don't know our placements. Sorry
!!!???
Why is he saying this? Simple. He doesn't trust you. That's a hell of a problem. Let him go. Be accountable for whatever you did to make him lose trust in you. He doesn't want you for his wife. Powerful words right there and yes, I believe he told you HIS truth.
You dodged a bullet. 😜
Don’t let anyone make you delete social media if you want to be on social media. Don’t let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be friends with. If you want to smoke, then smoke — it’s your life.

He either accepts you as you are or he’s not the right one for you.
And the accusations— that’s just bullshit and a way to gaslight you and control you.

Yeah, you dodged a bullet. This guy will end up making you miserable.
Hmm yes, I am a Cancer and have dated 2 Gems, currently dating one. Your guy sounds like my exes. Controlling, manipulative and yes, the back and forth. This is not healthy, red flags. I know it will be hard, but you need to end once and for all and once you do you open the door to someone better for you. Sooner you say good bye to misery, sooner you say hello to happiness 😊
Damn thats a lot of red flags!!!

RUN!!
I agree with all the other posts. He's too controlling and I'm sure that will lead to other negative things. It always does.

Run from the Gum! Don't chew, and don't look back!!! I know it's hard but you deserve better. Sorry, I just had too ... but I was serious above.
Posted by HeartofTopazz

“He’s a gum”

What flavor?
you just had to - poor Milly
Posted by tctaap

Posted by HeartofTopazz

“He’s a gum”

What flavor?
you just had to - poor Milly
click to expand


Gum= Gem -Delightful, but also can be annoying when you are tired of it and/or it sticks to you 😝
Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by tctaap

Posted by HeartofTopazz

“He’s a gum”

What flavor?
you just had to - poor Milly


Gum= Gem -Delightful, but also can be annoying when you are tired of it and/or it sticks to you 😝
click to expand
lol good one
Posted by millydee

Im a female cancer - jul 6

he's a gum - jun 10

Ive known my gem guy for 2 years. We dated and broke up for multiple reasons. I was willing to work through our differences but he ended it because of the following:

1. I would at times withhold things from him because of pride

2. I had male friends

3. I lied about occasionally smoking cigarettes (when I'm stressed, I smoke them)

4. I had social media (he doesn't have social media and avoids it like is a plague)

5. He said I make him think too much and he hates to think too much (whatever that means)

He said that he couldn't trust me and he didn't see me being his wife. He would always make up these CRAZY ass assumptions. For ex, he'll ask if I was at the bar picking up guys and taking them home to ave sex with them. lol. like crazy butter.

Fast forward, we've started talking again. I have deleted all my social media EXCEPT instagram. I've told every male friend that I want to work things out with this guy so I ended friendships with them. I'm also more transparent with him which he said he appreciates. Okay, so today we were talking and he says "Milly, if you hurt me or lie to me again I will hurt you because I know myself. I really loved you and tried to build a foundation with you but you hurt me."

Soooooo, is he saying this because he's guarded or....? I didn't like it honestly but I just let him vent. Also, Im a cancer and I don't know our placements. Sorry
I am aqua and I would not trust someone who hides things from me, Specially all things that you listed above. Geminis are in fact veeeeeery jealous ( at least my ex was ) Im not aware if those are the reasons why he doesnt trust you or if theres anything else... But just with what you saying... I would not trust you either. For the Fact that, if you are hiding such things, how do I know you are not hiding more important stuff from me.?

Get on his shoes and ask yourself if you would trust someone not being honest with you.

On another note: For a relationship to work, you dont need to delete anything, nor give them your passwords like some other people do. In my case, if you delete them you would just make things worst, bc im going to feel there was something there you didnt want me to know / see etc. Which give me more reasons not to trust you.

When I was with my Gem He could go into my facebook when I had it open or into my phone, cuz I had nothing at all to hide, Also most of my friends were males, and he used to ask me about each one of them when he was looking at the conversations. And I would just tell him over and over, that they were just friends.. And still he had trust issues, bc I speak spanish, he is arabic , he would still say I could be speaking spanish w some of this dudes and he would not know if I was cheating on him ... LOL.. Gems Are crazy ! So imagine, when you hide things from them.

To get a Gemini to trust you back again is haaaaaaaaard AF. I dont think you will ever get it the same way again.

They can also be very manipulative if you follow through with what they want....