Im a female cancer - jul 6
he's a gum - jun 10
Ive known my gem guy for 2 years. We dated and broke up for multiple reasons. I was willing to work through our differences but he ended it because of the following:
1. I would at times withhold things from him because of pride
2. I had male friends
3. I lied about occasionally smoking cigarettes (when I'm stressed, I smoke them)
4. I had social media (he doesn't have social media and avoids it like is a plague)
5. He said I make him think too much and he hates to think too much (whatever that means)
He said that he couldn't trust me and he didn't see me being his wife. He would always make up these CRAZY ass assumptions. For ex, he'll ask if I was at the bar picking up guys and taking them home to ave sex with them. lol. like crazy butter.
Fast forward, we've started talking again. I have deleted all my social media EXCEPT instagram. I've told every male friend that I want to work things out with this guy so I ended friendships with them. I'm also more transparent with him which he said he appreciates. Okay, so today we were talking and he says "Milly, if you hurt me or lie to me again I will hurt you because I know myself. I really loved you and tried to build a foundation with you but you hurt me."
Soooooo, is he saying this because he's guarded or....? I didn't like it honestly but I just let him vent. Also, Im a cancer and I don't know our placements. Sorry
Signed Up:
Jan 27, 2019Comments: 2 · Posts: 1548 · Topics: 27
Why is he saying this? Simple. He doesn't trust you. That's a hell of a problem. Let him go. Be accountable for whatever you did to make him lose trust in you. He doesn't want you for his wife. Powerful words right there and yes, I believe he told you HIS truth.
Signed Up:
Jan 25, 2012Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Don’t let anyone make you delete social media if you want to be on social media. Don’t let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be friends with. If you want to smoke, then smoke — it’s your life.
He either accepts you as you are or he’s not the right one for you.
Signed Up:
Jan 25, 2012Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
And the accusations— that’s just bullshit and a way to gaslight you and control you.
Yeah, you dodged a bullet. This guy will end up making you miserable.
Signed Up:
Jan 05, 2015Comments: 14 · Posts: 5462 · Topics: 94
Hmm yes, I am a Cancer and have dated 2 Gems, currently dating one. Your guy sounds like my exes. Controlling, manipulative and yes, the back and forth. This is not healthy, red flags. I know it will be hard, but you need to end once and for all and once you do you open the door to someone better for you. Sooner you say good bye to misery, sooner you say hello to happiness 😊
Signed Up:
May 15, 2018Comments: 574 · Posts: 1765 · Topics: 0
Damn thats a lot of red flags!!!
RUN!!
Signed Up:
Aug 20, 2018Comments: 3863 · Posts: 2108 · Topics: 3
I agree with all the other posts. He's too controlling and I'm sure that will lead to other negative things. It always does.
Run from the Gum! Don't chew, and don't look back!!! I know it's hard but you deserve better. Sorry, I just had too ... but I was serious above.