Gem Guys Down Right Mean??? Help!!!!!

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by maianm on Friday, March 23, 2007 and has 8 replies.
Oh my gosh! I am dating this Gem guy who has had a history of acting somewhat indifferent towards me at times. i just figured it was him acting like a typical Gem, b/c then he would turn around and be sweet and want to spend time with me.
He went out of town to for a week to visit his best friend on the 13th, and returned on Monday. He was supposed to call me on Tuesday to tell me how his trip was, and he didnt. That Wednesday he text messaged me and apologized for not calling and said that he fell asleep b/c he was tired from the trip, and work, and that he would call me that night. Did he call me on Wednesday night??? Of course not! So, I sent him an email last night asking what was up with his strange behavior. I told him that I was not trying to smother him or pressure him into anything. i just wanted to know how he felt so we would both be on the same page. I told him that if he would prefer that we be just friends, I was completely ok with that and there would be no hard feelings. Did he respond back??? No! I know that he read the email, but he just didnt respond.
The email was very friendly and nonabrassive. I even had a few jokes in it, so he would not feel like he was being attacked. I made it so easy for him to just reply back and say that he wanted to just be friends if he felt that way. I cant believe that he did not respond. It really hurt my feelings. Even though we have only been dating for 3 months, I thought for sure that he would atleast be honest with me and let me know if his feelings have changed. I thought he would atleast give me that respect. I cant believe that he would be so mean. What should I do!?!?!?!? Help!!!!
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Dear Maia,
I think you let your insecurities run away with you....
Gemguys...the ones I have known...don't deal with your negative feelings all that well...they are not "soothers" (try a Cancer for that)...and if you freak out and get emotional on him just because he went away for a week and didn't call you on the very *day* he said he would (sounds like Gem absent-mindedness to me)...then you are cramping his style .
He's probably thinking "Can't I even go away for a week without her freaking out?" He did text you on Wednesday telling you he's tired (probably the reason he didn't call that night)...and you respond by basically questioning the entire relationship...your insecurity is palpable.
I'm not trying to be mean...just reflecting on the fact that being with a Gem means dealing with uncertainty because they are changeable, and somewhat absent-minded...
My advice: stop communicating and go out and have some fun. He'll call you out of curiousity once he has reestablished himself.
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You are soooo right!!!!! Ok Im done acting so insecure. Its just that I have never dated a man like thi before. Thanks Eaglegirl. You are good - you should write an advice collumn. LOL. jk. Thanks!
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LOL -- I can only give advice for Gemini-Scorp relationships!
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Well guys...the Gem guy and I had a little talk yesterday and he said that he felt that our personalities did not mesh. He said that even though we have a lot of fun when we go out, we have different ways of dealing in a relationship.
I didnt say much just "ok". He said that he still wanted me in his life as a friend...blah blah blah. And I said that was fine. Now that I think about it I wish I had said more. I wish I had told him that I was acting like a manic instead of myself, b/c throughout the whole thing I was constantly second guessing myself - which is soooo unlike me. Before him it had been so long since i dated someone. I had just gotten out of a 6 yr relationship. I forgot how the whole process of courting and dating worked, and I just pushed and rushed everything, like it was a race. LOL. Stupid me.
But I guess in the end it really doesnt matter. It seems that once a Gem male has made up his mind about something its FINAL. I am kind of sad, espcially since I think I pushed him off by me being nervous and insecure. I dont think he ever got the chance to really see the real calm and collected me. Hmmm....well I guess that is that. I really wish I could get my Gem back, but like he says he is really stuborn and once he sets his mind for or against somthing its over. Sad
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You are right Capgirl. I jusr really liked him. I should have just let things go naturally instead of getting all crazy. I have definitely learned my lesson!
Last night was tough for me. I almost emaled him. Luckily I stopped myslef. Sad
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Yea most definitely, I am feeling better about the situation completely. He told me that he still wants to remain close firends and go out together from time to time, and that the ball was in my court to contact him next, as friends.
I have not contacted him since Saturday, and probably will not for atleast another few weeks or longer. Once we begin a friendship, I guess we can see what happens from there. But regardless I realize that if it is meant to be, it will be, if it isnt then it will not be. I will move on with life and find someone else....but Lord knows finding a good man is hard to do!!! LOL
But thanks guys for all of your advice and support! smile
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Ooohhh no!!!! He will not be getting ANY unless we are in a commited relationship. Thats the beauty of it. I think by me holding it out and making him want something that he cannot have will only work in my favor - either way it goes. I am definitly not going to be physical with him!!! Especially, because I know how I am. I take that kind of stuff very seriously, if I were to do that it would only make just being friends with him harder for me. So...we wont be doing any of that!
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