Gemini Ex went Crazy...wondering if..
This topic was created in the Gemini forum by onlyinwriting2 on Monday, November 28, 2011 and has 10 replies.
I had a gemini ex. We've never met--but we'd 'dated' for 9 months. I'm not a loser (haha, that's hard to explain)--nor is he. Honestly, we're two grown people with tons of friends around us. But we'd met online, and, suffice it to say--couldn't stand not talking to each other for more than two days. One day, though, he just went off on me. And started going nuts. Our break up, suffice it to say, was terrible.
Though I don't want to get back with him, I wanted to be friends with him. 8 months later I text him and it was...crazy? I don't know if he actually doesn't care, or if he's still got hurt feelings from it--which would make any salvaging of whatever's left hard.
He, at first, started to tell me it wasn't worth it to speak to me on the phone agian since he had a new girlfriend, blahblah. I told him something might be wrong with my condition, and that I just wanted a 10 min. convo to see how he was doing..then leave it at that. And then he freaked, kept asking me if I was okay. He turned a 180 telling me he was happy for me that I'd moved for this job I got, etc.etc...It was...
So it was like this for four days. We texted back and forth; I thought it was too much. And it was just him asking me if I was okay one minute, then next minute, putting down my current boyfriend, telling me how hot his gf is, trying to crack jokes about me dying and teh next minute freaking out and getting angry that I wasn't feeling good.
Then, I go: are you okay with this. I feel like we need more time before we talk because you seem like you need it. Then he went off, accusing me about how I wanted him to like me again...and all this crazy shit. I of course--got mad, and told a lie to push his buttons because all of the past days, I'd been calm about all of his crap. I told him I cheated him (which wasn't true). He then went on to tell me he'd cheated on me too, and that I could ask our 'then' mutual friend, and then he went on to tell me that he had OCD and that he was sorry about it all and that he never wanted to talk to me again, while trying to 'explain' himself. I don't...we just agreed not to speak again.
I don't get it. Are all Gemini's this crazy. And why the fuck is he crazy with me.
Though I don't want to get back with him, I wanted to be friends with him. 8 months later I text him and it was...crazy? I don't know if he actually doesn't care, or if he's still got hurt feelings from it--which would make any salvaging of whatever's left hard.
He, at first, started to tell me it wasn't worth it to speak to me on the phone agian since he had a new girlfriend, blahblah. I told him something might be wrong with my condition, and that I just wanted a 10 min. convo to see how he was doing..then leave it at that. And then he freaked, kept asking me if I was okay. He turned a 180 telling me he was happy for me that I'd moved for this job I got, etc.etc...It was...
So it was like this for four days. We texted back and forth; I thought it was too much. And it was just him asking me if I was okay one minute, then next minute, putting down my current boyfriend, telling me how hot his gf is, trying to crack jokes about me dying and teh next minute freaking out and getting angry that I wasn't feeling good.
Then, I go: are you okay with this. I feel like we need more time before we talk because you seem like you need it. Then he went off, accusing me about how I wanted him to like me again...and all this crazy shit. I of course--got mad, and told a lie to push his buttons because all of the past days, I'd been calm about all of his crap. I told him I cheated him (which wasn't true). He then went on to tell me he'd cheated on me too, and that I could ask our 'then' mutual friend, and then he went on to tell me that he had OCD and that he was sorry about it all and that he never wanted to talk to me again, while trying to 'explain' himself. I don't...we just agreed not to speak again.
I don't get it. Are all Gemini's this crazy. And why the fuck is he crazy with me.
One day, though, he just went off on me. And started going nuts.
Please explain this part. Why did he go off on you and what was his "nuts" behavior?
Well, he'd never yelled, or called me names, or said any of that while the 9 months we were together--one night he went off on me, and then he kept trying to push me to my limits. Like he was slowly unraveling: he started to drink again (he stopped b/c he wnated to be with me), told me one moment that he was angry at me because all the 9months we'd been together he tried so had to be with me, and when I'd finally 'accepted' that I did believe he loved me...he just felt, angry. He said he felt that he loved me more than I did and he hated that. He said he lied, and he did all these things and that he hated hearing me being unhappy. On the flip side, he would blame me and say I made him go through so much shit (i doubted him a lot..because he was a frat boy..) and that he was tired of loving me, because he worried about me 24/7 and it wasn't normal. For a whole week we were turbulent; he broke up with me to get back with me the next night, saying he was sorry and that he loved me so much and that he wouldn't do it again. Then broke up with me three days later...then got back with me, saying sorry and all that shit but by then it'd been too late. I kind of couldn't even speak to him. Then we broke up the last time..and that was really, really bad. We just kept saying we hated each other, etc...
Move on...my gemini bf told me about a previous ex and the story was pretty similar..HE would go back and forth and have contradicting views. My feeling i get is that he is simply going through all the thoughts and emotions and your just brought along the ride. Just keep in mind neither here nor there. his thoughts his words at the moments he said them were true and felt but now? he is thinking about another and feeling another. He is trying to find solutions and EVERYTHING is a possibility whether or not they are true to his emotions at times is another story. Sometimes Geminis jsut say "IDEAS" thAT correlate with the PROBLEMS
If he's a dude who uses alcohol to control his emotions, then you've got a deeper problem on your hands than his sun sign.
Going off on you because you are a manipulator isn't going crazy. You are presenting it as such, but, any person who can read between the lines can easily see that what he's doing is calling you out on your bullshit.
For example, here are quotes you said above .....
1. "I wanted to be friends with him. 8 months later I text him and it was...crazy? I don't know if he actually doesn't care, or if he's still got hurt feelings from it .."
This is you contacting him, trying to get him back to you. You already realize that his feelings are still injured, yet, you proceed to initiate this contact anyway.
2. "He, at first, started to tell me it wasn't worth it to speak to me on the phone agian since ...."
This is him telling you he doesn't want to have a relatinship with you again. You say it's for friendship, yet, he is referencing a girlfriend, which you don't seem to clarify that you just want friendship, so, he must have picked up the right vibe from you, which is you want to try and get him back, since he mentions a girlfriend and you don't respond saying you want it platonic. Instead you say this ....
3. "I told him something might be wrong with my condition, and that I just wanted a 10 min. convo to see how he was doing ... "
You then use a pity stroke to try and persuade him that you just want to be in his life, and pretend to want to just know how he is doing. Your trick worked, it appears, at the moment, because you he does a 180 after you tell him about dying.
4. "So it was like this for four days. We texted back and forth; I thought it was too much."
Now that you got him texting you, and being concerned about you again ... you decide it's too much. Eventhough you're the one who chased him down after a 8 month break up, and are the one who actually used your health as a pawn to get him to start talking to you again. Now, you push him away.
5. "Then, I go: are you okay with this. I feel like we need more time before we talk because you seem like you need it."
Now that you have him, you convey to him that perhaps he isn't ok with his feelings of sympathy for you and needs more time to come to terms with it ... when in reality, it was you who actually utilized the pity angle to get him back.
For example, here are quotes you said above .....
1. "I wanted to be friends with him. 8 months later I text him and it was...crazy? I don't know if he actually doesn't care, or if he's still got hurt feelings from it .."
This is you contacting him, trying to get him back to you. You already realize that his feelings are still injured, yet, you proceed to initiate this contact anyway.
2. "He, at first, started to tell me it wasn't worth it to speak to me on the phone agian since ...."
This is him telling you he doesn't want to have a relatinship with you again. You say it's for friendship, yet, he is referencing a girlfriend, which you don't seem to clarify that you just want friendship, so, he must have picked up the right vibe from you, which is you want to try and get him back, since he mentions a girlfriend and you don't respond saying you want it platonic. Instead you say this ....
3. "I told him something might be wrong with my condition, and that I just wanted a 10 min. convo to see how he was doing ... "
You then use a pity stroke to try and persuade him that you just want to be in his life, and pretend to want to just know how he is doing. Your trick worked, it appears, at the moment, because you he does a 180 after you tell him about dying.
4. "So it was like this for four days. We texted back and forth; I thought it was too much."
Now that you got him texting you, and being concerned about you again ... you decide it's too much. Eventhough you're the one who chased him down after a 8 month break up, and are the one who actually used your health as a pawn to get him to start talking to you again. Now, you push him away.
5. "Then, I go: are you okay with this. I feel like we need more time before we talk because you seem like you need it."
Now that you have him, you convey to him that perhaps he isn't ok with his feelings of sympathy for you and needs more time to come to terms with it ... when in reality, it was you who actually utilized the pity angle to get him back.
Posted by onlyinwriting2
Then he went off, accusing me about how I wanted him to like me again...and all this crazy shit. I of course--got mad, and told a lie to push his buttons because all of the past days, I'd been calm about all of his crap. I told him I cheated him (which wasn't true).
Of course he went off ... you just played him. And then once you've got him pissed off, you use more bullshit to drive the wrench further into him by saying you cheated on him.
You come in here and talk about him having a crazy-azz problem .. when in reality .. you provoked all of it.
You've been gaming him .. and it's crystal clear from where I interpret what you wrote. And he may not yet have figured you completely out, but, he has enough sense about him to realize he should treat you like a cunt.
Sigh.
1. I have a boyfriend who's an Art Director for a major company ya'll know about. I'm happy where I am.
2. I actually told him I understood, and I said good bye. Then he kept talking to me and sayin gblahblabhlah i cared about you but I have a girlfriend now. And I said "okay I understand, by." He kept persisting and yapping on.
3. I"m 24 and I was just hospitalized in the ER twice due to my heart. My EKG is not of the norm. They think something's pushing my heart down and yes, it scares me because I can't even breath.
4. Me and him both went back and forth, trying to talk. But each time shit just popped up.
5.Because he started talking about "maybe i need to masturbate to stop being a dick" and saying "maybe you should die" when one min he was concerned about what the doctors have been reporting to me. Also, saying shit about my boyfriend he doesn't know about. And actually going off saying his gf is hotter than my bf and I would be jealous. And before that we were just talking like normal. I didn't know what to say to that...so I said I think we need more time.
6. I first texted him saying I just wanted to say hi on the phone for ten minutes, and I wasn't going to contact him again for another 2 years. I didn't tell him anything about my condition until he kept going back and forth on me, because he was being frustrating. I just wanted to see how he was doing.
All I'm really asking is, is if he'll ever stop hating me and just be my friend. He kept bringing up past shit, like, 'you were always moody' you were this you were that which were and weren't true. And I just kept asking him why he was bringing this up because it's over with...
1. I have a boyfriend who's an Art Director for a major company ya'll know about. I'm happy where I am.
2. I actually told him I understood, and I said good bye. Then he kept talking to me and sayin gblahblabhlah i cared about you but I have a girlfriend now. And I said "okay I understand, by." He kept persisting and yapping on.
3. I"m 24 and I was just hospitalized in the ER twice due to my heart. My EKG is not of the norm. They think something's pushing my heart down and yes, it scares me because I can't even breath.
4. Me and him both went back and forth, trying to talk. But each time shit just popped up.
5.Because he started talking about "maybe i need to masturbate to stop being a dick" and saying "maybe you should die" when one min he was concerned about what the doctors have been reporting to me. Also, saying shit about my boyfriend he doesn't know about. And actually going off saying his gf is hotter than my bf and I would be jealous. And before that we were just talking like normal. I didn't know what to say to that...so I said I think we need more time.
6. I first texted him saying I just wanted to say hi on the phone for ten minutes, and I wasn't going to contact him again for another 2 years. I didn't tell him anything about my condition until he kept going back and forth on me, because he was being frustrating. I just wanted to see how he was doing.
All I'm really asking is, is if he'll ever stop hating me and just be my friend. He kept bringing up past shit, like, 'you were always moody' you were this you were that which were and weren't true. And I just kept asking him why he was bringing this up because it's over with...
And to whimsy, when I first met him--he told me later on he had nearly destroyed his liver due to all the alcohol he was drinking. And he was only 20, turned 21 then.
And to whimsy, when I first met him--he told me later on he had nearly destroyed his liver due to all the alcohol he was drinking. And he was only 20, turned 21 then.
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