Gemini guy friend: staying on the good side-xpost

Realized I maybe should have posted this in the Gemini forum instead of the Virgo one...duh!

A Gemini friend and I are chatting/hanging out again after a month long hiatus. A bit of back story. We used to hang out EVERY DAY for like two weeks. I'd spend the night at his house, we worked together so we'd just chill all day, and then leave and go drinking etc afterward. We'd drive around until 1-2 in the morning on the back streets talking about everything and smoking out.

I told him I was starting to "like" him in that way, but I wasn't surprised in the least when he invited me to a party he was attending with a girl he was actually trying to date. Yeah, I was a bit taken aback, but I still showed up, albeit a few hours late (I had stopped at a pub before hand and got caught up with this gorgeous Greek guy...okay I digress), a little tipsy, carrying two 24 packs, a big smile, and my "party look", ready to go.

Can we say ice cold? He spent the whole night being aloof, stand offish, and a bit dickish, even though I was laughing it up and chatty with his date, and just mingled with his friends instead of hanging all over him or some such nonsense. I really didn't know what he expected me to do, as it seemed like he just got madder with me as the night went on. I was trying to be respectful of him being on his date and give him space to get to know his lady. He even later confessed that his friends "loved" me, so I didn't think I embarrassed him or anything.

After that night he didn't talk to me for a month, and I never texted him, as I assumed he was busy and would get back into contact if he wanted to.

Now out of the blue it's texting, calling, wanting to hang out, all over again and I'm like "awesome!" We were supposed to chill today but I'm cramped up and feel terrible. He was almost on the verge of begging me to just let him come over and I said we could catch up later in the week. We chatted for a good hour and a half on the phone, before we hung up, but I felt terrible for canceling on him again (we were supposed to hang out yesterday too...) Really, he's so much fun to be around and, as a Virgo, whenever I make a true friendship, I'd hate to lose it.

So for Gemini's how do I stay on his "good side"? Did I just shoot our friendship in the foot again?

as for staying on our good side: just be honest, open-minded and ready to have fun. 🙂

on shooting your friendship in the foot: no, we get bored easily with routine. or he just needed time to think. it could have been he was neglecting his responsibilities while hanging out with you and needed that month to get his things taken care of. we do tend to live in the moment. at the party, he probably felt awkward knowing that you like him and having a girl he's trying to date there in the same room. but, if he's called you and talked to you, then you have nothing to worry about. i'm sure he more than understands why you didn't want to hang out at that moment, but with the begging it also sounds like he wanted to be able to be there, even in your worst moment.

Saywha is right. Selfish bastards. Don't appreciate anything. Let him come to you

Posted by misslissa
as for staying on our good side: just be honest, open-minded and ready to have fun. 🙂

on shooting your friendship in the foot: no, we get bored easily with routine. or he just needed time to think. it could have been he was neglecting his responsibilities while hanging out with you and needed that month to get his things taken care of. we do tend to live in the moment. at the party, he probably felt awkward knowing that you like him and having a girl he's trying to date there in the same room. but, if he's called you and talked to you, then you have nothing to worry about. i'm sure he more than understands why you didn't want to hang out at that moment, but with the begging it also sounds like he wanted to be able to be there, even in your worst moment.

I don't see why he would have felt awkward, especially since even after I told him and asked if he wanted me to come, he said "Yeah! Definitely!" I didn't even go up to him at the party once I was there, I ended up making rounds, joking, and laughing it up with people there to the point that he was coming to find me, and while I wasn't ignoring him, there was this guy there (an Aries) that totally had me entranced with his aggressive energy- I couldn't walk away.

I'm glad we're on good footing now though. We've hung out since then a couple of times and he always stays in touch (man that guy can talk on the phone, holy shit!) so it's gravy. We're even supposed to be taking a small trip together later on this month so I assume we're on the level. I just hate losing friends over bullshit, especially if it's patently my fault for starting it in the first place (telling him I liked him when I should have kept my fool mouth shut.)

Thing is, I still wanted to hang out. I told him I always stay "gangsta" LOL! And he knows I'm fickle natured, I can like a guy and then not like him in lieu of something better a week later, so he had nothing to worry about as far as me wanting anything from him. Even now, with him asking me for advice, my analysis on things in his life, etc; I do it as a friend and not because I have "feelings" for him or anything.

Posted by saywha?

And if you ask me? you've done nothing wrong in cancelling a date... they pursue hard, they hate to feel that the girl likes someone better than them.. and just for that sake...

Thanks for the words of advice. Fortunately it wasn't a date. We're just mates is all, I just enjoy his company and didn't want him to be peeved at me. Seems to happen a lot for no reason. LMAO!

I find it hilarious. The way he rolls his eyes at me and makes this exasperated sigh; I almost say shit now just to fuck with him and his "sensibilities." LMAO! Despite your words, I'm probably the worse one out of the two of us.

I think you care way too much, in your conscientious Virgo way, about his feelings.

The reason he was rude to you at the party were his delayed emotions of fear: you freaked him out when you told him you were starting to like him.

Listen, if a guy likes you, he will let you know. NEVER be the first one to say that you like him, okay? Particularly not to a Gemini male. Let them chase you.

So anyway, he needed to get across to you that he felt CROWDED by your declaration, so he was extremely rude to you. And invited you to a party with a girl he really liked.

Anyhoo, if you want to be friends with him, sounds fine to me. But don't start caring about his sensitive feelings. He doesnt have that many!

Posted by Eaglegirl
I think you care way too much, in your conscientious Virgo way, about his feelings.

The reason he was rude to you at the party were his delayed emotions of fear: you freaked him out when you told him you were starting to like him.

Listen, if a guy likes you, he will let you know. NEVER be the first one to say that you like him, okay? Particularly not to a Gemini male. Let them chase you.

So anyway, he needed to get across to you that he felt CROWDED by your declaration, so he was extremely rude to you. And invited you to a party with a girl he really liked.

Anyhoo, if you want to be friends with him, sounds fine to me. But don't start caring about his sensitive feelings. He doesnt have that many!

Um, thank you Captain Obvious, I DID just say that I care about maintaining our friendship, so yes I DO care about his feelings and it's not subconscious it's very much out in the open as it would be with ANY of my friends. 😕

As far as me telling a guy I like him, that's just what I do. I didn't ask for dating advice (I get enough dates thanks) I asked to be sure that I'm not messing up our friendship, which obviously I haven't since we're chilling and everything is kosher. I don't even like him in THAT way anymore, it was a little crush, and my little crushes are notoriously short lived; something to this day he's ALWAYS giving me shit about.

Also read further hun, I barely even talked to that man at that party. *rolls eyes* He was the one having to come find me, just stand around and be all huffy He needed to be tending to his DATE, instead of worrying about what I was doing at that party. Girl bye. I've learned my lessons about men but I don't play gender based games, if I tell you I'm crushing and you don't like me in the same way? That's FINE, because there are plenty of other guys out there who will/do. In the words of Jay Z; On to the next one!

But like I already said, I'm just glad we're cool again.

Posted by bohemiangelnoire

I find it hilarious. The way he rolls his eyes at me and makes this exasperated sigh.

Haha I have a Gemini boyfriend and he does the same thing. For example, if I want to watch a show that he doesn't really like, he'll sigh and go "alright." It's in a goodhearted way though 🙂

When it comes to Gemini makes, he's the only one I've ever dated, but I have been around others. That's really all I have to go off of though. With my bf, I have managed to get him to open up to me quite a bit and be really honest with me. I think it all has to do with how I've reacted when he tells me things and when he opens up to me. I am quite understanding and don't get over emotional because I can see he is only human and where he is coming from. Maybe it does depend on how you react to your partner and that is the key to how much they will open up to you and be honest with you vs. just playing games?

No need to get defensive, hun; you're the one who posted this topic because you were afraid you had blown the friendship.

The fact is, is you almost lost this friendship because you DID like him, you DID want him, and you naively misread the situation. He treated you like shit and ignored you for a month. Must have been humiliating.

I'm glad your jitters are over, but perhaps next time you'll think before inserting foot in mouth.

Posted by Eaglegirl
No need to get defensive, hun; you're the one who posted this topic because you were afraid you had blown the friendship.

The fact is, is you almost lost this friendship because you DID like him, you DID want him, and you naively misread the situation. He treated you like shit and ignored you for a month. Must have been humiliating.

I'm glad your jitters are over, but perhaps next time you'll think before inserting foot in mouth.

Wow, you must be P-Angel's protege. I was worried I had blown the friendship by canceling (for the second time) us hanging out. Once again, reading comprehension is not your strong suit, which is pretty sad considering how condescending and "knowledgeable" you try to come off. Probably your Virgo moon. Don't feel bad, we all suffer from that same affliction.

Humiliating? Girl who do I look like? You? If that's the conclusion you came to than that's your own personal shit. Seems like you'd be the type to be humiliated too, considering your response to me. You thought you all "had me" and shit, had it all figured out and then realized you were off the mark like a guy accidentally jizzing up your nose. You probably sat at your keyboard for a hot minute trying to figure out what to say back too. LOL!

And once again, you stated the obvious thinking you hurt someone's feelings. How cute. You're just a bundle of misplaced wisdom and unearned self importance. Congrats.