Gemini obsession
This topic was created in the Gemini forum by TwinTastic on Saturday, August 5, 2006 and has 67 replies.
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Reading that last subject got me thinking- it is so reassuriing to know that other Gems have the same issue with this as i do. When I meet a guy i really like-which doesnt happen all that often, i cant stop thinking about them-i get so depressed if he doesnt reciprocate....but then once i get what i want, i stop feeling the same way. Its like I want soo badly to be in love...to find that one special person...but i always lose interest if they do just one wrong thing....Its funny because I can be sooo forgiving, as i think all Gems can...but at the same time i never forget....Also I wanted to say that it seems like when we Gems go through the obsession stuff-we feel embarrassed about it...its like we are always wanting the world to think we are something different...but deep down we just need the same thing as everyone else-LOVE...and herein lies our dilemma-finding that one person who knows what we need without us having to explain it....because we cant
Ohhh, so right! I'm like that too.
However, nothing is better than a man who knows what he wants (you) and is not insecure about it. No games, no guessing, no torture. I love that too. this is how I felt in love with a sag, he was so clear and self assured, it blew me away.
However, nothing is better than a man who knows what he wants (you) and is not insecure about it. No games, no guessing, no torture. I love that too. this is how I felt in love with a sag, he was so clear and self assured, it blew me away.
i agree ladies
Hi..I totally agree with Twintastic. I am a gemini, and fell head over heels in love with a Pisces (ouch), and got toally obsessed with him, 247. He was the best thing that ever happend to me and I was on cloud 9 for a couple of months. I frightened him off though, as my passion was soooo intense for him. I have never known anything like it before in my life! I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. The passion still burns and it hurts like hell but I have got it under control, well sort of. So, yes, I do understand and have empathy with Twintastic. Perhaps one of these days, the red mist around my eyes will clear and I will be able to get on with my life.
I agree with you TwinTastic I met this older Libra male and i got obsessed hoping to see him at our usually spot and when i did i was in awwww. I too think i frightened him off i felt embrressed and i apologized. But i gave up as a gemini i snap out of it and go on to the next until they do something i don't like and move on... It's like a never ending rollercoaster ride I tell you
curse him to the high heavens ...in your head or in your room just scream!!!!!! you'll feel better =)
Ooooh, but how euphoric to be the object of that obsession too, you know it can't possibly last, but how can you resist falling, deeper...into the throes of this handsome gemini, heroine might compare, it will hurt you most in the end and you know it, yet blind belief brings dreams it is not only this good but it will be even better with time. I'm drunk with it and noone will take my bottle away, I'd rather die than to give this up....
I totally relate to this; I can obsess about men (sometimes), and create/live scenes in my head... and then when i meet up with them (which happened last night with the sagi that im interested in).. i will not show that im interested, (although i really am)... the chase/unknown is thrilling, and the indecisiveness; does he love me, does he love me knot LOL
butterflies in stomach... oh yes!!!
butterflies in stomach... oh yes!!!
and then when i meet up with them (which happened last night with the sagi that im interested in).. i will not show that im interested, (although i really am)...
HAHAHA thats so me, i don't mean to be like that, but it's just how i am too...i think it's because i get nervous....i don't know
HAHAHA thats so me, i don't mean to be like that, but it's just how i am too...i think it's because i get nervous....i don't know
well i have a friend who is a gemini and she will obsess over guys forever and will do whatever to get with them and when she actually gets with him she leaves him in less than a month..literally. and i find it absolutely annoying that she obsesses over this one person and then when she gets with him she lacks interest almost suddenly. and she does it ALL the time. its annoying..
It sounds like your friend has a problem with commitment that goes beyond the fact that she's a gemini. I know lots of gems in long relationships. When we find someone we think it's really special, we stick with it.
wow. i had no idea..and i am so not being sarcastic.
I don't know... i think all Gem's have a problem with committment. But once committed.. done deal. But most have sorta a fear of it.. not really a fear.. but the idea of being tied down.. for good.. scary. But when we get someone, who settles us down.. we stick around.. sometimes much longer than we should. not really ones to just let go too quick.
but the idea of being tied down.. for good.. scary. But when we get someone, who settles us down.. we stick around.. sometimes much longer than we should. not really ones to just let go too quick.
Dead on with that baby-grl.
Dead on with that baby-grl.
actually someone we love...haha letting go isn't an easy task at all...lol
we stick around.. sometimes much longer than we should. not really ones to just let go too quick.
Oh boy, soo soo right again Baby-Grl. I'm having this problem right now. Even though I am completely in love with someone else and know that I should have left my marriage a while ago, letting him go is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's almost impossible. But is it because I'm a gemini or this is just they way it is with long term relationships? Another thing, are we so obsessed because or our signs or our gender?
Oh boy, soo soo right again Baby-Grl. I'm having this problem right now. Even though I am completely in love with someone else and know that I should have left my marriage a while ago, letting him go is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's almost impossible. But is it because I'm a gemini or this is just they way it is with long term relationships? Another thing, are we so obsessed because or our signs or our gender?
"But is it because I'm a gemini or this is just they way it is with long term relationships? Another thing, are we so obsessed because or our signs or our gender?"
That's a great question. I think us being Gem's ahve alot to do with it. We don't trust easily.. we don't have the staying power until we are completely wrapped up in it. Which doesn't happen every day. So to me it's like, once we have it.. we hang on with every last bit of who we are. Even when we don't 'love' the person anymore or whatnot. Maybe it's doubt that someone else can really capture us or who the hell knows. I know most poeple thought i was absolutely crazy how long i stayed with my EX husband. But it wasn't until i was ready to let, that i did.
i don't thing gender is our reason. not all woman obsess.. and most people don't obsess as we do. No one has a clue what we thing or feel inside. Most people would freak out if they knew how we obsessed. can you imagine a man, knowing this? He would most likely run like hell and think we were absolutely crazy. You guys know what i'm talking about. It could be just 1 date.. and they had that something.. and we just can't get it out of our brains.. the things we think about.. are NOT characteristic of sane people.. please anyone correct me if i'm wrong...
I have mastered not letting 'him' know. this took me years.
That's a great question. I think us being Gem's ahve alot to do with it. We don't trust easily.. we don't have the staying power until we are completely wrapped up in it. Which doesn't happen every day. So to me it's like, once we have it.. we hang on with every last bit of who we are. Even when we don't 'love' the person anymore or whatnot. Maybe it's doubt that someone else can really capture us or who the hell knows. I know most poeple thought i was absolutely crazy how long i stayed with my EX husband. But it wasn't until i was ready to let, that i did.
i don't thing gender is our reason. not all woman obsess.. and most people don't obsess as we do. No one has a clue what we thing or feel inside. Most people would freak out if they knew how we obsessed. can you imagine a man, knowing this? He would most likely run like hell and think we were absolutely crazy. You guys know what i'm talking about. It could be just 1 date.. and they had that something.. and we just can't get it out of our brains.. the things we think about.. are NOT characteristic of sane people.. please anyone correct me if i'm wrong...
I have mastered not letting 'him' know. this took me years.
YOUR 100% CORRECT...it's very bad when we click with someone, then emotion's get involved then thats about it...
this is why i hate to admit it...but if we're inlove with someone, i think we can be controlled easily...or worse become emotionally dependant.. (YIKESSSSS)
Yeap! When they get us, they get us deeply. I can master no showing my obsession too, I've always have. I'm so paranoid that anyone will find out how obsesses I am that I sometimes make sure I ignore the very person I'm obsessing about. Hahaha! I guess my pride is bigger than my obsession, oh boy.
Another hypothesis of mine is that when geminis find someone who loves them and treats them with special care, when they can trust the other person's feelings are real, then we get emotionally dependent on their loving us. Don't know, maybe this is part of my separation neurosis.
Another hypothesis of mine is that when geminis find someone who loves them and treats them with special care, when they can trust the other person's feelings are real, then we get emotionally dependent on their loving us. Don't know, maybe this is part of my separation neurosis.
i agree... we are physco's.
hahahha moon walks... LMAO
Maybe we shouldn't be discussin' this.. especially in a public place. hahahaha
"we get emotionally dependent on their loving us. Don't know, maybe this is part of my separation neurosis."
Nah that typically happens. lol so is that person really lucky or what? They won't think so if they read these boards.. hahaha But the positive thing about that all.. for me anyway, is that doesn't happen very often. Actually only once in my life. i haven't let/had someone else affect me like that to that degree since my ex husband. i'm sure it's just defense mechanisms.. cuz that was the deepest hurt i have ever felt. someone else came close, but nothing like that. so it's not easy getting that kinda love from me. I think i'm redy for it again. just can't find one on that level.
Maybe we shouldn't be discussin' this.. especially in a public place. hahahaha
"we get emotionally dependent on their loving us. Don't know, maybe this is part of my separation neurosis."
Nah that typically happens. lol so is that person really lucky or what? They won't think so if they read these boards.. hahaha But the positive thing about that all.. for me anyway, is that doesn't happen very often. Actually only once in my life. i haven't let/had someone else affect me like that to that degree since my ex husband. i'm sure it's just defense mechanisms.. cuz that was the deepest hurt i have ever felt. someone else came close, but nothing like that. so it's not easy getting that kinda love from me. I think i'm redy for it again. just can't find one on that level.
Hahaha! I don't think anyone would takes us seriously BaBy... at least I wouldn't if I came to read this post.
But you're right BaBy, the good thing is that it doesn't happen very often, but when it does (and hopefully we're now more selective with the ones we allow it to happen) it's such a trip, such a charge, it's great. The problem is when the passion is not mutual, then we frick out. But everybody does..
I still think there's a gender difference, besides our sings. We can be more impulsive, in general men are taught to be more pragmatic in matters of love.
As I say this, here I am not making a single move twoards this man. Keeping my obsession, my confusion, my healling, my pain, my delight, all to myself (and you poor guys).
But you're right BaBy, the good thing is that it doesn't happen very often, but when it does (and hopefully we're now more selective with the ones we allow it to happen) it's such a trip, such a charge, it's great. The problem is when the passion is not mutual, then we frick out. But everybody does..
I still think there's a gender difference, besides our sings. We can be more impulsive, in general men are taught to be more pragmatic in matters of love.
As I say this, here I am not making a single move twoards this man. Keeping my obsession, my confusion, my healling, my pain, my delight, all to myself (and you poor guys).
HAHAHA it's okay......venttttt on usssssss....agreed baby-grl maybe we should stick to private messages..LOL
i feel naked... (runs away directly into a wall) night juicy!
"the things we think about.. are NOT characteristic of sane people.. please anyone correct me if i'm wrong... " as said by BaBy-GrL414
oh my goodness sooooooo true my bro is gemini and he shared some thoughts from his head wit me and i was a little freaked out - u ppl r weird
oh my goodness sooooooo true my bro is gemini and he shared some thoughts from his head wit me and i was a little freaked out - u ppl r weird
oh yea n the aries i'm crazy bout - his girl friend is gemini and she's crazy she's the type that will cut herself - he said she liked him even b4 her likded her - he said she kinda stalked him -i asked y he even started dating her - he said cus she cares bout him- man and from her webpages i've seen she's crazy bout him - not sure if she really loves him or if she's jus obsessed
As a 35 year old Gemini, I would have to say that I do not suffer obsessions.
I was never a lover and leaver. Even though I never made a commitment (marriage), it wasn't becasue I was afraid of it, or obsessed with the idea of not making a commitement.
Gemini's know when they fall in love and unfortunately to other people some of our quirks (ie...wanting to do everything we can to make that one person happy)can come off as being obsessed.
I was never a lover and leaver. Even though I never made a commitment (marriage), it wasn't becasue I was afraid of it, or obsessed with the idea of not making a commitement.
Gemini's know when they fall in love and unfortunately to other people some of our quirks (ie...wanting to do everything we can to make that one person happy)can come off as being obsessed.
A person who can handle a Gemini has got to have some level of patience or at least a firm understanding of their Gemini- I think we are very mutable and play off of what our significant other does or says- as in one minute we may feel completely rejected and the next we are up in the clouds, head-over-heels in love with the person- very strange indeed! Obsession? Absolutely! However, this can be very interesting and entertaining for the other person- like dating more than one person- because we Gems change from one minute to the next 
Wooh yes - I'm glad I'm starting to figure that all this is related to my sign and that I wasn't screwed with as a child and have repressed memories about it!!! Geminis are mad, I'm one. We are definite chasers. We are often single because the guy that likes us we brush straight away - Yuck we say, no fun there, I already know you want me and baby I don't want you. We run backwards if I guy pursues us before we know we like him. On the other hand we spend all our time chasing the ones who treat us like crap, cause they are a challenge - we do obsess about catching him ' how can I win him over, he doesn't like me and I'm not having it!!' we press and press and press. Once we get him, game over. But I see also the dependent side, I was with a fairly crazy abusive guy, the whole time I was with him I knew I would never stay forever, but I didn't leave, it was like I had this sick addiction to the drama of life with him. When we are ready thouhg, we do go and we don't look back - GONE, never to be re-visited again. I think we can stay so long cause we are very resilient people, quite tough emotionally. Some light on a recent gemini endeavour, I like a guy, he told me no relationship stright up - why not I say, I'll show you, so we obsess obsess obsess, then finally go, oh god, change my tactic, give him the cold shoulder, he comes running, cause he wants you now and we are like ' oh, over it, it worked you want me and I don't anymore' CRAZY!!!!!! But we do want love, I think we need a guy who deep down loves us but doesn't take any shit from us, keeps us on our toes you know what I mean, a strong personalitied man who can handle our wayward bouts of bullshit!!!
But we do want love, I think we need a guy who deep down loves us but doesn't take any shit from us, keeps us on our toes you know what I mean, a strong personalitied man who can handle our wayward bouts of bullshit!!!
Oh so very true!!
Oh so very true!!
oh yea that's da same way i act everytime i see this girl that I'm Crazy for & she's an Aries... talk bout being friggin nervous I could hardly be myself round her.. good thing my sense of humor kicks in.. cause i be having the wildest dreams bout her.. feels like a lil obsession but more like a Big Crush but all in all i can't help it tho she 2 damn sexy. everytime I see her I jus be like.. woooo & be wantin 2 jump her bones & all dat.. sound funny tho right? but that's just us tho when we really Like someone
do u guys think a gem capable to love a person forever? jz dat particular person only?
yeh, schizo. it happened to me too.
Posted by jhuffy
do u guys think a gem capable to love a person forever? jz dat particular person only?
yep.
Posted by affaires
e are often single because the guy that likes us we brush straight away - Yuck we say, no fun there, I already know you want me and baby I don't want you. We run backwards if I guy pursues us before we know we like him. On the other hand we spend all our time chasing the ones who treat us like crap, cause they are a challenge - we do obsess about catching him ' how can I win him over, he doesn't like me and I'm not having it!!' we press and press and press. !
SO TRUE. I used to do this CONSTANTLY. when I first started hanging out with my ex, I chased his asshole brother for ages, we had no chemistry whatsoever but I felt like he was a challenge, & oh sooo beautiful (tall, cancerian)..good arm candy,etc. That didn't last though. The real connection was with me and his brother (a gem). Soo deeeep and intense, he ended up being the most beautiful one because he was so eccentric and wonderful.
I've ignored all my connections with the ones I connect with best, because they make it so obvious.
The reason I couldn't committ to the ex (open ish relationship, got more serious and then bam! dumped me) was because of this stupid need to find people to 'chase', in the hope that i could have some crazy car crash affair with a beautiful guy, irregardless of how shitty he was to me.
But in the last month I changed, I stopped checking out other men and let myself get settled, bad timing.
Being attached is horrible. that's when we get most vulnerable.
Relationships with people become an addiction.
"do u guys think a gem capable to love a person forever? jz dat particular person only? "
I know it's possible, just extremely challenging to find someone that matches your mind. That's the key to unlocking our hearts for the long haul.
i don't think for the average gemini, until we are older, do we have the maturity for a serious "Marriage" material relationship. We don't know ourselves until later in life. We have the hardest time truely understanding, IF EVER.. who we are. Once we settle down, then i think it is more realistic.
All we need is someone that humors us in our whimsical ways. WHo understands we change our minds, who guides us and lets our little OCD's blossom. Someone who puts the extra amount of work to keep our agile minds busy.
When you find this... it way surpasses the little crushes and butterflies in your stomach. Those little obsessions are you seeing the portential, and once you start learnin about who you REALLY are, and how the chase isn't what's most important you start with that, because that drive to that person is important.
That deepens to a level that, yes i do think it's an obsession, but i think it's a healthy obsession. It's what we need to stay focused and allows us to grow and not allow our eyes to wander and act on it.
just some "old" gemini thoughts... LMAO
I know it's possible, just extremely challenging to find someone that matches your mind. That's the key to unlocking our hearts for the long haul.
i don't think for the average gemini, until we are older, do we have the maturity for a serious "Marriage" material relationship. We don't know ourselves until later in life. We have the hardest time truely understanding, IF EVER.. who we are. Once we settle down, then i think it is more realistic.
All we need is someone that humors us in our whimsical ways. WHo understands we change our minds, who guides us and lets our little OCD's blossom. Someone who puts the extra amount of work to keep our agile minds busy.
When you find this... it way surpasses the little crushes and butterflies in your stomach. Those little obsessions are you seeing the portential, and once you start learnin about who you REALLY are, and how the chase isn't what's most important you start with that, because that drive to that person is important.
That deepens to a level that, yes i do think it's an obsession, but i think it's a healthy obsession. It's what we need to stay focused and allows us to grow and not allow our eyes to wander and act on it.
just some "old" gemini thoughts... LMAO
A little feedback from a non-Gem regarding them; I've had 3 significant relationships in my life, all with Gem men. The first at 17 with my HS BF, the second my marriage of 28 years, and the 3rd with my current love of 2 and a half years. I have learned over time how to better handle them, but there will always be that learning curve. I'm a Cancer, and I know it's a bad mix, lol, but that seems to be my attraction, so I am learning to manage it better. I seem to have the hottttest and steamiest, and most passionate relationships with my Gem men, so I figure that's my destiny.
I learned much with the first two and am attempting not to repeat my mistakes!
I now never give ALL of myself or ALL of anything to my Gemini man. I know that I have to keep him off-balance to keep his interest. He never needs to know how much of me he has...he needs to think that there's parts of me that he will never have. The plus side of this is I use my Cancer shell to climb into from time to time. I bring him in close, and then I back him up...if he backs up, I let him go...I know that he'll come back for more...he can't help himself anymore than I can...
I know that he loves me deeply and I return that love, but I always reserve a part of that and keep it to myself. I know that once he knows, the game may be over. We are both very intense, but I am by far the more emotional of the two of us. While it's challenging for him, he loves that part of me too...
The first time he told me that he loved me, he didn't just say "I love you", but he said, "I hate to tell you this, but I'm desperately in love with you". I have managed to maintain that "desperation" feeling in him for a year and a half now...it's a lot of work, but what he and I have is so worth it.
He is by far the more intense of the 3 I've had, and he admits to much more in terms of feelings than the other two ever did...I believe that this is because I haven't given all of myself or my feelings to him....a very difficult task for a Cancer!
He also struggles with my temper; they all did though, hahaha, he wishes I wouldn't get so mad...I go in my shell and lash out from there! Damn, I love this shell!
In summation, I guess what I've learned is that Gems need to be challenged, they need some intrigue, they need passion, and to feel valued and important as well; but that they never need all of you...
I learned much with the first two and am attempting not to repeat my mistakes!
I now never give ALL of myself or ALL of anything to my Gemini man. I know that I have to keep him off-balance to keep his interest. He never needs to know how much of me he has...he needs to think that there's parts of me that he will never have. The plus side of this is I use my Cancer shell to climb into from time to time. I bring him in close, and then I back him up...if he backs up, I let him go...I know that he'll come back for more...he can't help himself anymore than I can...
I know that he loves me deeply and I return that love, but I always reserve a part of that and keep it to myself. I know that once he knows, the game may be over. We are both very intense, but I am by far the more emotional of the two of us. While it's challenging for him, he loves that part of me too...
The first time he told me that he loved me, he didn't just say "I love you", but he said, "I hate to tell you this, but I'm desperately in love with you". I have managed to maintain that "desperation" feeling in him for a year and a half now...it's a lot of work, but what he and I have is so worth it.
He is by far the more intense of the 3 I've had, and he admits to much more in terms of feelings than the other two ever did...I believe that this is because I haven't given all of myself or my feelings to him....a very difficult task for a Cancer!
He also struggles with my temper; they all did though, hahaha, he wishes I wouldn't get so mad...I go in my shell and lash out from there! Damn, I love this shell!
In summation, I guess what I've learned is that Gems need to be challenged, they need some intrigue, they need passion, and to feel valued and important as well; but that they never need all of you...
I love this topic!! Thank god I'm not on my own! I hate it I feel I'm like a bunny boiler haaaaate it!
Thank god I'm not on my own here
Thank god I'm not on my own here
i would agree with baby-grl414 on what she's saying but i gotta add my 2 piece 2 this.... Most of the time us gems get infatuation when we fall 4 someone.. the things I've learned as a gem boy.. (sighs) 4 da gems who don't kno this ( even tho we somehow kno) our tarot cards is the lovers
& with that in mind we have a tendacy 2 let our feelings come out when immature.. & let's b real for a minute..... it's not that we're obsessed. (I use 2 think that) but it's really da fact that we wanna fall in love just like any other person but by us being from da emotional group our erratic behavior may @ times send da wrong message.. Keep in mind this is jus my P.O.V What i think some gems should do if you're in this situation is to remain C & C
and while your being C&C cool & Calm.... talk to your other twin & have a no nonsense convo about how you feel about this person your "obsessed" over. Gems don't get obsessed with people we actually obsessed with our minds.. we tend to over love @ times because we wanna b there 4 dat person....If we were 2 have a obsession with people then we would be stalkers not lovers.. cause let's face it Gemini's make twintasitc Lovers..
P.S. I think any Gem would agree with me on this.. 2's up= catch y'all la8er
& with that in mind we have a tendacy 2 let our feelings come out when immature.. & let's b real for a minute..... it's not that we're obsessed. (I use 2 think that) but it's really da fact that we wanna fall in love just like any other person but by us being from da emotional group our erratic behavior may @ times send da wrong message.. Keep in mind this is jus my P.O.V What i think some gems should do if you're in this situation is to remain C & C
and while your being C&C cool & Calm.... talk to your other twin & have a no nonsense convo about how you feel about this person your "obsessed" over. Gems don't get obsessed with people we actually obsessed with our minds.. we tend to over love @ times because we wanna b there 4 dat person....If we were 2 have a obsession with people then we would be stalkers not lovers.. cause let's face it Gemini's make twintasitc Lovers..
P.S. I think any Gem would agree with me on this.. 2's up= catch y'all la8er
Love (the feeling) generally escapes gemini's. For a gemini to continue to find someone worth loving even after they have to all themselves means thats one of heck of an interesting person.
When a gem meets the right one, they will want to commit. I'm on that boat now. Before i met my aries Boyfriend i didn't think i'd want to get married in the next few years. But after meeting my aries man everything changed. I'm so happy with him, i hope he'll propose this year :0)
My oh my....I totally understand how my Gem moon affects me now! Everything you guys have said is how I am!!!!
Damn you Gemini Mooooooooon!!!!!!!!
Damn you Gemini Mooooooooon!!!!!!!!
(sigh) Geminis! They should make a TV series about gems...it will always be interesting...
Love the comments from the two Cancerian ladies. Confirms my understanding of Cancer as a thoroughly manipulative sign, more intent on "winning" someone's love (usually some cold bastard) than actually admitting to themselves how emotional they are.
So GLAD I am not married to the Cancerian man anymore! He has now moved to within two blocks of where I live, of course, so that he can "win" me back. What a pathetic futile way to live.
So GLAD I am not married to the Cancerian man anymore! He has now moved to within two blocks of where I live, of course, so that he can "win" me back. What a pathetic futile way to live.
Oh man, I know gemini obsession all too well. Since my senior year of high school (almost 3 years ago), there was a gem guy who would not get over me for the life of him. Now, I still considered him my friend, but it was a really hectic and draining friendship. He grinded my nerves to no end and he'd purposely piss me off just to see how far I would go. But all in all, he was so into me that even when I made it quite clear that I wanted nothing to do with him in that sense (and I had my very blunt aries best friend tell him) he still obsessed over me. He'd call me out on facebook, he often texted me at random times or tried to call me; he'd argue with me for no reason, and even when others told him to just give up, he'd say, "yeah, but there's just something about her. she's so weird, but i love it." and when I would yell at him for being a prick and try to end our friendship, he'd be so hurt that he'd apologize for a few days, then get right back into his assholish behavior. As of now, he seems to have cooled off, but most of my friends know him as "my creeper."
I'm a virgo btw.
I'm a virgo btw.
Signed Up: Jul 07, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 19 · Topics: 3
Comments: 0 · Posts: 19 · Topics: 3
Posted by ninainthesky123
Ohhh, so right! I'm like that too.
However, nothing is better than a man who knows what he wants (you) and is not insecure about it. No games, no guessing, no torture. I love that too. this is how I felt in love with a sag, he was so clear and self assured, it blew me away.
I'm just shocked that i am a cancer and this described me to the T. Why ? is it seriously because my moon sign is gemini ? i'm supposedly ruled by the moon or something. i wish i knew about this years ago . wow what great timing i dug myself a deep hole with a gemini and it kills me. o well i'll figure it out.
Sooooo glad I stumbled upon this thread. I see now that I AM NOT ALONE... Wooohooo!!!!
It's the same for me -- I love guys who are a challenge but once the chase is over, I quickly lose interest. So it almost always ends up with the same formula -- guys who like me, I don't like (for very long), guys I like get freaked out because I get obsessed and end up doing a disappearing act -- and I'm still trying to strike a balance to find that sustained interest that it mutual and reciprocated.
Why do I obsess over them? Found the answer on this thread too. It's because despite having lots of friends and men friends hoping that it would be more than platonic on my part, it's very rare that I come across one that I truly like. So when I find someone, I recognize that it's a once in a blue moon thing and... well, I get stuck.
I have yet to master the art of not seeming obsessed which I gather some of you have. Clue me in, please!!!
There was a time when I was really afraid of commitment so I deliberately pursued relationships where the other party couldn't ask it of me. They couldn't ask what they couldn't give, right? And I knew in the back of my head that I was afraid of being stuck with a "constant, never changing factor", that with this guy, my whole life and how it would be like would be neatly laid out for me.
Now, that I'm older though, I crave for stability. So I finally figured out that I need a man who keeps me on a tight rein but with a long leash. The commitment part, I'm working on still. Because no matter how much I say I want it, when it's right in front of me, no matter how much I like the guy, my reaction to being cornered is physical -- I can't breathe!!
So this commitment thing and the obsession thing -- I don't know if ultimately it's self-sabotage. I know the obsession thing will make them run for the hills and yet, I don't know if I can't help doing it because it gives the necessary distance from the C word and I'm comfortable with that distance. It's a Catch-22, really. I do know it's not going to get me closer to where I think I want to be... sighhhh.
It's the same for me -- I love guys who are a challenge but once the chase is over, I quickly lose interest. So it almost always ends up with the same formula -- guys who like me, I don't like (for very long), guys I like get freaked out because I get obsessed and end up doing a disappearing act -- and I'm still trying to strike a balance to find that sustained interest that it mutual and reciprocated.
Why do I obsess over them? Found the answer on this thread too. It's because despite having lots of friends and men friends hoping that it would be more than platonic on my part, it's very rare that I come across one that I truly like. So when I find someone, I recognize that it's a once in a blue moon thing and... well, I get stuck.
I have yet to master the art of not seeming obsessed which I gather some of you have. Clue me in, please!!!
There was a time when I was really afraid of commitment so I deliberately pursued relationships where the other party couldn't ask it of me. They couldn't ask what they couldn't give, right? And I knew in the back of my head that I was afraid of being stuck with a "constant, never changing factor", that with this guy, my whole life and how it would be like would be neatly laid out for me.
Now, that I'm older though, I crave for stability. So I finally figured out that I need a man who keeps me on a tight rein but with a long leash. The commitment part, I'm working on still. Because no matter how much I say I want it, when it's right in front of me, no matter how much I like the guy, my reaction to being cornered is physical -- I can't breathe!!
So this commitment thing and the obsession thing -- I don't know if ultimately it's self-sabotage. I know the obsession thing will make them run for the hills and yet, I don't know if I can't help doing it because it gives the necessary distance from the C word and I'm comfortable with that distance. It's a Catch-22, really. I do know it's not going to get me closer to where I think I want to be... sighhhh.
"I don't know... i think all Gem's have a problem with committment. But once committed.. done deal. But most have sorta a fear of it.. not really a fear.. but the idea of being tied down.. for good.. scary. But when we get someone, who settles us down.. we stick around.. sometimes much longer than we should. not really ones to just let go too quick." BabyGrl....
That's because we Gems love our freedom. My husband and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary this past Sat. I honestly believe our marriage has lasted and been strengthened because he understands that although I'm fully committed to him and our family, I need my freedom and space. I have my own interests that keep me "sane" and define me to a point.
He does too, so I give him his freedom as well. But his is more about dealing with stress, while mine is more about dealing with my natural instinct of needed to flourish in the things I love outside of my marriage and work.
Most Gems I know are passionate about a hobby or a project etc. outside of their personal lives. It keeps us focused to actually have the freedom we desire. At least it does for me.
I go crazy if I can't get out of the typical routine of my day. I work with people who live for their careers. While I love mine, it's not my deepest passion. I have too many other interests that tug at my heart and give me a peace of mind. If I go a day without getting that free time to think, analyze, do what I am passionate about, I get depressed and sometimes even angry. It makes me feel like a caged animal. I wouldn't want to be around me either when I feel like that.
That's because we Gems love our freedom. My husband and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary this past Sat. I honestly believe our marriage has lasted and been strengthened because he understands that although I'm fully committed to him and our family, I need my freedom and space. I have my own interests that keep me "sane" and define me to a point.
He does too, so I give him his freedom as well. But his is more about dealing with stress, while mine is more about dealing with my natural instinct of needed to flourish in the things I love outside of my marriage and work.
Most Gems I know are passionate about a hobby or a project etc. outside of their personal lives. It keeps us focused to actually have the freedom we desire. At least it does for me.
I go crazy if I can't get out of the typical routine of my day. I work with people who live for their careers. While I love mine, it's not my deepest passion. I have too many other interests that tug at my heart and give me a peace of mind. If I go a day without getting that free time to think, analyze, do what I am passionate about, I get depressed and sometimes even angry. It makes me feel like a caged animal. I wouldn't want to be around me either when I feel like that.
"I don't know... i think all Gem's have a problem with committment. But once committed.. done deal. But most have sorta a fear of it.. not really a fear.. but the idea of being tied down.. for good.. scary. But when we get someone, who settles us down.. we stick around.. sometimes much longer than we should. not really ones to just let go too quick." BabyGrl....
That's because we Gems love our freedom. My husband and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary this past Sat. I honestly believe our marriage has lasted and been strengthened because he understands that although I'm fully committed to him and our family, I need my freedom and space. I have my own interests that keep me "sane" and define me to a point.
He does too, so I give him his freedom as well. But his is more about dealing with stress, while mine is more about dealing with my natural instinct of needed to flourish in the things I love outside of my marriage and work.
Most Gems I know are passionate about a hobby or a project etc. outside of their personal lives. It keeps us focused to actually have the freedom we desire. At least it does for me.
I go crazy if I can't get out of the typical routine of my day. I work with people who live for their careers. While I love mine, it's not my deepest passion. I have too many other interests that tug at my heart and give me a peace of mind. If I go a day without getting that free time to think, analyze, do what I am passionate about, I get depressed and sometimes even angry. It makes me feel like a caged animal. I wouldn't want to be around me either when I feel like that.
That's because we Gems love our freedom. My husband and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary this past Sat. I honestly believe our marriage has lasted and been strengthened because he understands that although I'm fully committed to him and our family, I need my freedom and space. I have my own interests that keep me "sane" and define me to a point.
He does too, so I give him his freedom as well. But his is more about dealing with stress, while mine is more about dealing with my natural instinct of needed to flourish in the things I love outside of my marriage and work.
Most Gems I know are passionate about a hobby or a project etc. outside of their personal lives. It keeps us focused to actually have the freedom we desire. At least it does for me.
I go crazy if I can't get out of the typical routine of my day. I work with people who live for their careers. While I love mine, it's not my deepest passion. I have too many other interests that tug at my heart and give me a peace of mind. If I go a day without getting that free time to think, analyze, do what I am passionate about, I get depressed and sometimes even angry. It makes me feel like a caged animal. I wouldn't want to be around me either when I feel like that.
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