Gemini's - hard to check in?
This topic was created in the Gemini forum by forthelove on Monday, June 24, 2013 and has 21 replies.
A question for you Gemini's. I have been dating a Gemini male(48 years old) for about 5 months. He's been an amazing friend and lover. My one complaint about him is that he's always very vague on the details of "running errands" or what his day is like. I don't know need to know his every movement, but he does consider us a couple and when I am in a relationship with someone they have usually volunteered the details of their day or what they are doing after work. Not so much with this man. I don't want to come off like the "psycho, what are you doing every second of the day chick" but I would like for him to share this information. Asking too much of out of Gemini male?
They like independence and expect you to understand that. He may not tell you because he may not know. Geminis are unpredictable. Dont push him to much about it. The important thing is that he's coming back to you. If it bothers you that bad then do the same thing to him. He'll learn why you ask.
Yes, I have read that about Gemini's so I don't really push and he does come back but sometimes in the back of my mind these "errands" involve another woman but maybe not. Thank you for the reply.
Dont jump to that thought unless you have some sort of proof. All its goung to do is make ypu go crazy thinking about. Relax and enjoy your gemini man 
You are absolutely right! It just drives me nuts
He'll volunteer it if he wants you to know. If you ask he may become irritated.
Yes, I can see that. I've mentioned a few things that have bothered me and I could tell at first he did not like me mentioning them to him. However, he has always been pretty gracious and understanding to try and accomidate them. My problem, as a cancer, is that I like to feel secure and loved everyday and when he doesn't show it it just makes me wonder. But for the most part he's very easy, and we get along well.
I should add he shares a lot of information as it pertains to who he is as a person. He has shared some very important, deep and personal information with me, as early as our first date. However, he is a little slow with daily details.
Like what are you doing after work? Answer - running errands? OK - where/ what? I give him his space since he hasn't given me a reason to think that he isn't doing anything dis-respectful to our relationship but these seem like very simple questions that could be answered.
Like what are you doing after work? Answer - running errands? OK - where/ what? I give him his space since he hasn't given me a reason to think that he isn't doing anything dis-respectful to our relationship but these seem like very simple questions that could be answered.
ok I'm a Gemini and for me personally, yes I am quick to flight. If I get bored or need to get out of the house, I head straight for the car, doesn't mean anything bad. However, having said that, when I am mad at my partner or I feel his is ignoring me, then yes I'm quick to leave and I don't really want him to know where I"m going. I try to be as vague as possible about it. ie: I'm going out for a ride I can't speak for all Gemini's but I love to talk and I want you to know where I"m going and what my day was like and in great detail so if he's not communicating with you then you might have a reason to be suspicious. maybe just tell him that it's an issue with you and that you would like to talk about it.
Thank you for the reply. It's still pretty early in our relationship. I'm going to see how this plays out for a little more. I honestly don't think he's doing it on purprose. I think part of it is not having to have done it in the past so this is new to him. He does talk a lot and like I said he's been pretty forth coming on the issues that are important and should be discussed so these details I will wait until we are a little further along to bring them up to him. For now, he's there when I call or need him He is very good acknowledging my feelings and thoughts but something tells me to wait a minute on this one
He is very good acknowledging my feelings and thoughts but something tells me to wait a minute on this one 
From your first question itself I know you got some kinda trust issues on him with a doubt of whether he is having another girl thats why you want to know things in detail. Personally vague answers irritates me as well but as a Gemini I think he would talk. What the heck happened to him? Did he lost his balls on the way? I think you should tell him straight that you feel insecured of his vague answers. If i am in his place definitely I'll try to change for the one I love.
Posted by forthelove
Yes, I can see that. I've mentioned a few things that have bothered me and I could tell at first he did not like me mentioning them to him. However, he has always been pretty gracious and understanding to try and accomidate them. My problem, as a cancer, is that I like to feel secure and loved everyday and when he doesn't show it it just makes me wonder. But for the most part he's very easy, and we get along well.
And this is why Cancers and Gemini's don't go well together. Cancer likes to inspect the shit out of every move we make (or don't make). My bff who happens to be a Cancer drives all the guys she dates out of their minds with this kind of thing. You will have to get used to us NOT showing you affection and love every single day. And since he is a man it's probably going to be worse than us females. That's just a given. You will have to come to terms that air signs are like this regardless. We are NOT emotional beings, we don't wear our heart on our sleeves and we WANT personal space. If you cannot agree to these terms you probably aren't cut out for dating them.
I will tell my parter EVERYTHING about my day (in excruciatingly boring detail)...UNLESS I think he has an agenda in asking (for instance, if he's trying to discover if I am up to no good). If I feel he's prying, I get fiercely protective of my right to do whatever the hell I want without explaining myself or being interrogated. I expect him to trust me and respect my autonomy. My self-protection begins as passive-aggressive, vague statements, but I'll end up in attack mode if he won't back off.
I actually do have trust issues. Some of it I think is just who I am and some of it has been based on past experiences. Along with that I just like to know the details. I think it makes me feel more secure but probably because I have trust issues. We do talk about a lot of important issues but it's like the daily issues we completely skip. Even something as simple as how was work? He has never given me a reason not to trust him and I don't think he does this on purpose. He's been a single parent for several years and I think he's just used to doing his own thing and being independent without answering to anyone. I have mentioned a few things that would make me feel more secure and he has done them almost immediately. We're still feeling and getting to know each other. This will be the next thing I bring up - soon. Thanks again for the feedback.
I think you're doing exactly the right thing by keeping the communication flowing. It might help to remember that we do better when you EXPLAIN your feelings and emotions rather than just displaying them. Gems are very verbal and are most comfortable when things are put into words.
I feel the same. I do plenty of things without even knowing why ( just following a whim). When someone asks me "why", it can get confusing. There is no discernible "why", so I just think up an explanation that seems reasonable to keep the questioner happy. If I'm questioned again later, the response might be different, or may have evolved. I'm not lying, but honestly trying to answer an unanswerable question. The result is that I seem untrustworthy.
You all are giving me great insite. I do have to say sometimes if I do question him, he does get a little nervous and he will have an answer but he's either uncomfortable or lying and when I would like for him to explain further I can tell he feels like his answer is enough or as he would say "genuine". So I do tend to go with it but I did mess up big time today. So now I need to know how to make up with him. I said something pretty hurtful because I didn't like the answer to my question which probably was "genuine" but being the emotional cancer that I am I went for broke on my response back. I could tell, even over the phone, I hurt his feelings and went below the belt. I apologized via text since he was walking to a meeting. Do I bring it up again or just let it ride out?
a Gemini and I totally weary heart on my sleeve. I tell all and quick I'm trying to work on that. I love to talk about everything and will wear one out with the fine details. I'm not big on personal space. if I'm all about you we are together all the time and when I'm gone I get nuts if you don't text me, answer my texts and I break my neck to get home to you. not sure that the normal Gem is like this but yea I'm very needy, clingy and crave your attention. I feel more like a Leo in this dept and my Leo is more like the Gemini in this area. wow we screwed up over here. lol come visit and well just mess everything up together lol.
Posted by Whimsy
I will tell my parter EVERYTHING about my day (in excruciatingly boring detail)...UNLESS I think he has an agenda in asking (for instance, if he's trying to discover if I am up to no good). If I feel he's prying, I get fiercely protective of my right to do whatever the hell I want without explaining myself or being interrogated. I expect him to trust me and respect my autonomy. My self-protection begins as passive-aggressive, vague statements, but I'll end up in attack mode if he won't back off.
haha this is me all over! My cappy partner thinks i am always up to something and doesnt trust me much before apparently I am too 'vague' which pisses me off because I come home and give her a re count of my day in DETAIL and yes the boring details are included also but she means when we are home for eg and i am smiling at something on my laptop she'll ask what i am smiling at and i'll simply respond "just reading something" but she wants me to go into detail and tell her exactly what im reading. Sometimes I will just offer the info straight up but because she is always on my case about it, I get protective of my freedom/privacy and instead of giving her details, i give her nothing.
Dont ask. We'll offer up any info if we want you to know. We're not stupid and we havent forgotten (well sometimes haha) but we're usually pretty open about everything. Just dont nagg continuously to know everything. Thats turn off.
Most I share every detail of of errands and there are times when I'm vague. I find myself being vague when I want to be left alone and don't really want to discuss the intricate details of my schedule.
And if I have a date with someone else I'll say something like " going out" not " I'm going for a drink" because I don't want to be asked where I am going. But this is a scenario for someone who isn't a boyfriend to me.
And if I have a date with someone else I'll say something like " going out" not " I'm going for a drink" because I don't want to be asked where I am going. But this is a scenario for someone who isn't a boyfriend to me.
Posted by Whimsy
I feel the same. I do plenty of things without even knowing why ( just following a whim). When someone asks me "why", it can get confusing. There is no discernible "why", so I just think up an explanation that seems reasonable to keep the questioner happy. If I'm questioned again later, the response might be different, or may have evolved. I'm not lying, but honestly trying to answer an unanswerable question. The result is that I seem untrustworthy.
God this explains/summons a lot up very well. It is true i think we dont know WHY we do/say what we do or say when we get questioned about it we'll come up with something that fits/sounds good enough. When we are asked again at a later stage, we've moved on from that ages ago so the response you get wont be the same. Then people think we're lying/untrustworthy but we're actually trying our best to be honest.
F*ck, that is SO true!
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