Help me understand this gemini man!

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by cancerrose on Wednesday, September 28, 2016 and has 8 replies.
I posted about him before, he's the ex I bumped into after 10 years.. He took my number and ended up texting me to go out two weekends ago.

We both said we were tired and would only have 1 beer, but 1 beer turned into 3.. 3 beers turned into more drinks... And the date lasted 8 hours. We went to 3 different bars, and he kissed me at the last place.

We had an amazing time, got on great, chatted loads and had chemistry... In fact we have more in common now than we did 10 years ago and had loads to talk about.

The only thing is the night didnt end so well, I was very very drunk and I don't normally lose control... But its because I mixed my drinks. Anyway he ended up at my apartment, I don't remember how and we almost had sex but I stopped it cos I was very drunk and ended up puking. I was so ashamed and he asked if he should leave, and I told him to do what he wants I wasnt going to tell him what to do, so he went home.

He text me when he got home and asked if I was ok and said he didn't know what to do, whether to stay or go but he said if I needed anything to let him know as he wasn't far away.

He told me he had a good time and that we should do it again with less drink and I told him I had a good time too.

The next day he asked if I was better and I said yes just very tired and That i didnt realise how drunk I was til i got home.

Anyway, that whole week I didn't hear from him and I was super embarassed and ashamed all week and wanted to see him again and have a better ending than that night.

So i text him on friday asking if he wanted to go out on saturday (with less drink), and he replied saying he'll get back to me asap... But then i didn't hear from him.

This weekend he leaves for holiday for 3 weeks so I get he's probably super busy preparing, but i don't understand why he couldn't just tell me he was busy or couldn't see me on saturday, instesd of saying he will get back to me.

I wonder if the way that night ended put him off me, but up until we got to my apartment we both had such a great time.

Normally I have a lot more self control, I don't know what happened... Just got carried away... But being in my late twenties I've only ever puked 3 times from alcohol... So you can see it is very rare For me.

Unfortunately for me it happened with him.

I was afraid it completely turned him off which is why I am so ashamed and embarrased and basically want to hit myself.

I didnt realise til I got to my apartment how drunk I actually was and it is totally out of my character to take a man home on first night.
I guesa there is nothing I can do... I actually hate myself right now for ruining this
I'm sure he texted all his friends: "didn't get to fuck my ex she puked everywhere"

jk, but if you're hot enough he might try again but if not he might just forget about you since he already dated you anyway

if he felt what you did tho he will come around but he doesn't sound worth it

p.s since when do girls ask guys out? I think that's why he's also a bit turned off

also idk why guys initiate sex after alcohol do they understand the laws regarding rape and alcohol?
Posted by libraqueeen

p.s since when do girls ask guys out? I think that's why he's also a bit turned off

?
I don't know about you, but I live in the 21st century. Besides he asked me out the first time so I asked him the second time.

And I mainly did it cos I was so embarassed that I wanted to see him again and behave normally, so that the last time wasn't the last thing he thinks of me
Posted by cancerrose
Posted by libraqueeen

p.s since when do girls ask guys out? I think that's why he's also a bit turned off

?
I don't know about you, but I live in the 21st century. Besides he asked me out the first time so I asked him the second time.

And I mainly did it cos I was so embarassed that I wanted to see him again and behave normally, so that the last time wasn't the last thing he thinks of me
click to expand
I still find it tacky for women to ask men out. In the end if your relationship ends it marriage, you (usually) give up your last name for his, you go through pregnancy to birth him a child, you nurse the child you make sure your husband (if he's the bread winner) is well fed and good for work

Women do all that and more, and yet we can't even get courted anymore because it's the "21st century"? Listen here, if a man wants you, he will show it. Making you wait where YOU had to ask him out and get rejected anyway should send you a message, but then again you DID ask a dude out so we have different logic and values, so I'll just agree to disagree.

tl;dr if a woman has to ask the man out on a second date, he's not into her, especially if he says he's too busy for her and therefore rejecting.
Well he did text me as soon as he got home saying not to worry, and to make sure i was ok and he said he had a good time anyway..

So I dont think he would judge me for it, but as we havent met up again I was afraid he was put off.

We have dated before but it was 10 years ago when we were teens, we are different people now and also I had never behaved like that when we used to date..

I guess only time will tell. He's going travelling now for 3 weeks so if I do hear from him it won't be til he returns.
probably has nothing to do with you, like some answer above, he might have just looked to have a good time for the night. don't blame yourself really if a guy is really into you he won't mind even if you'd thrown up all over his favorite shirt and still walk you home and called you back for the next date! it's nothing to be embarrassed about maybe next time you drink till you could hold your alcohol for a better night for you.