Help?! Scorpio Man /Gemini Women (continued)

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by lrm on Saturday, March 3, 2007 and has 34 replies.
Even despite her faults(yes, I have my share too)I still love this women. She was the only women that I could even consider settling down with, as the sex and passion was amazing between us, and sometimes I liked her many personalitity changes, as it was like she was so many different women in one body! She was also very smart and caring. She has the potential to do so much if she put her mind to it, and tried to finished the projects she started or the goals she set for herself, instead of going from one thing, to the next.
What brought my emotions to surface again, is that I happen to see her pictures on a dating site, and I was overwhelmed and it brought all of the feelings I had back to the surface. I know I ended the relationship, and I knew that she was either dating or going to be dating someone anyway after we split, so it is not that I am trying to keep her from being happy or don't want her to move on. Iam just trying to figure this all out. Even though I hurt her by leaving, and have tried to detach myself completely (it's been 8 months since I have last spoken to her),it's really hard to do lately. And I have had dated (and am currently dating) and had many relationships previously, so this isn't just "puppy love" or lust that I am feeling. I just don't understand how I could feel this way about someone that I am not even compatible with and that made me want to pull out my hair half of the time. Any opinions, suggestions, questions or criticism welcome, thanks.
i will get back to you shortly! post this on the scorpio board to , they should be able to help you out with advice in the meantime.
judging from one side... he was the one who cheated...Why is all the blame going on her?
HE couldn't take it anymore so he ended it and now wants HER back bc he saw her on a site where other men could have her and doesn't want that. Three sides to every story..His hers and the truth and since we dont have those two sides...The best advice would be givin' with reading the lines in between
Thanks guys for the comments! As to what Juicy said, she's right. There is always more than one side to a story. I am not trying to say that I was an angel in our relationship or always did things the right way either. And I did cheat on my ex-girlfriend, but never cheated on Gemini girl. And even though I miss her, I don't know if I could really be with her again, because of her ways and unwillingness to change for the better. And because I broke up with her, it's her right to date, and be happy and find someone that she will love eventually. And I am already dating other people, so this isn't some lonely loser that can't find someone, or a crazy stalker. Even though I miss her, and she is my heart, I am not selfish or uncaring. It's just that seeing her picture brought back so many memories and really made me think about life in general.
Sorry didn't mean to come off rude, if you took it that way..I was just simply saying that honestly it takes two to make it and to two break it (usually), along with two sides to the story lol. Im going to read this and try my best to give you some fair honest advice
because she was dating a really good friend of mine, which she eventually married and divorced later
Why would you do that? A really good friend shouldn't do that to begin with but next..
"I could control the situation, and keep my heart out of it."

WRONG..controlling the situation would possibly include controlling her and i'm pretty sure as a scorpio and as a man, you might have done just that...Gemini females HATE that, let the air roam and it'll always be around you. WE CRAVE FREEDOM, EXPLORING OUR IDEAS..you get the point.. next
"After a while, I knew I wanted to be with her, so after telling my girlfriend the truth and us parting ways, we (Gemini girl and me) started a relationship together."

In the beggining, it could have been she looked as you as an exciting chase, to win you over and conquer you over your ex gf but deep down inside i bet it ran through her head all the time, Would he do the same to me, if put in the situation.
I find that Gemini's for the most part can't really think for themselves, and are too concerned about what other people think about them and are easily manipulated.
we can most certainly think for ourselves, we just have a hard time comming to a descion inbetween of thinking about doing the right thing, and seeing both sides...There has to be a REASON why she thought what people would think, and a pretty big one for her to care that much about it. Yes we are easily manipulated when inlove, we give ourselves completely to someone, my question to you is ..WHY would you want to maniuplate this woman you love oh so much? if it was infact you manipulating her..
%a`bi g.
is that I happen to see her pictures on a dating site, and I was overwhelmed and it brought all of the feelings I had back to the surface. I know I ended the relationship, and I knew that she was either dating or going to be dating someone anyway after we split, so it is not that I am trying to keep her from being happy or don't want her to move on.

As much as i understand where you are comming from...it is still foggy.. You can not miss her just because you think someone else is going to have her. Thats possessiveness kicking in, i wouldn't call that sincerely missing her. Missing her would be you can't picture yourself with anyone else and you need her somewhere in your life.
Iam just trying to figure this all out. Even though I hurt her by leaving, and have tried to detach myself completely (it's been 8 months since I have last spoken to her),it's really hard to do lately. And I have had dated (and am currently dating) and had many relationships previously, so this isn't just "puppy love" or lust that I am feeling.

Lol thats good that your dating, forgive me again but i dont feel you deserve this girl from what your telling us at the board.. You cant change your controlling ways, and you see it as flaws of hers when she cant make up her mind..i'll tell you why and i can bet my life besides the other problems you had this is it...She cant take being controlled and you cant take NOT controlling, She was at a battle of head and heart with you, this is why she prob looked insane ..Now you didn't have to much control over YOURSELF if there was a physical fight going on & you both kept going back to eachother...Your going to do what you want, but i will say this ..I dont think it would be fair if you attempted to talk to her first, if you come to the conclusion that you Love her as you say that much, I think you should see if SHE misses you. It's not only about YOU.. Sorry dont want to come off mean or anything but this in my opinion is the truth, i'm sure other ladies will be here to help you out. Goodluck
If there's nothing to hide then I don't know why she would keep it from you.

I think you should move on. I don't like having sneaky people around me.

I know you're a Scorp and you feel intensely but maybe you should let her go emotionally.

She didn't keep anything from him.
.and he wasn't asking about YOU liking sneaky people around yourself he was asking help for himself. Plus i think you read it wrong also.
Not*
"because she was dating a really good friend of mine, which she eventually married and divorced later"
"Why would you do that? A really good friend shouldn't do that to begin with but next.."

Well, actually I didn't go into detail, because it wasn't pertinent to the story, however this good friend she ended up marrying and eventually divorcing, we fell out over something (in no way involved with this situation), so we were no longer friends when I linked back up and started talking to Gemini girl
"I could control the situation, and keep my heart out of it."

"WRONG..controlling the situation would possibly include controlling her and i'm pretty sure as a scorpio and as a man, you might have done just that...Gemini females HATE that, let the air roam and it'll always be around you. WE CRAVE FREEDOM, EXPLORING OUR IDEAS..you get the point.. next"

No you are misreading this completely wrong here. Go back and reread what I said! I didn't say I was trying to control her, I said I was trying to control the situation of me getting involved with her emotionally. How could you assume that I was trying to control her, when I specifically state that I was trying to stay in control of my emotions and actions?
No you are misreading this completely wrong here. Go back and reread what I said!
LMAO..YOU DONT have to say you were tyring to control HER..controlling the SITUATION you were involved with her no? that would be with both of you..You and her, your emotions and hers would be a situation.
& dont demand me to read anything.
i went out of my way to try and HELP YOU OUT a thank you would be nice rather then a demand!
and with understanding what you just "stated" you lost control of YOURSELF and fell for her..which leads me to my point anyhow..you lost control. PERIOD
"I find that Gemini's for the most part can't really think for themselves, and are too concerned about what other people think about them and are easily manipulated."
"we can most certainly think for ourselves, we just have a hard time comming to a descion inbetween of thinking about doing the right thing, and seeing both sides...There has to be a REASON why she thought what people would think, and a pretty big one for her to care that much about it. Yes we are easily manipulated when inlove, we give ourselves completely to someone, my question to you is ..WHY would you want to maniuplate this woman you love oh so much? if it was infact you manipulating her.."
Well as an adult, you have to be able to make decisions for yourself in the end, because it is your life and no one elses. You can't always be concerned what Dick, Harry & Jane are doing or what they feel or think all of the time. And sometimes the best advise to take is no advise at all. People in some cases have ulterior motives especially when they see that you are always unsure about things or wishy washy. And part of this is not always caring about what other people think about you personally, especially when these people are not really involved in your life or just casual friends.
And as an adult you should also learn how to not stray from your bed, and break up the right way. So you see, some faults are bigger then others. I dont need you to tell me, what i have to do as an adult. Thats not what your here for, and your rude. Bye
"LMAO..YOU DONT have to say you were tyring to control HER..controlling the SITUATION you were involved with her no? that would be with both of you..You and her, your emotions and hers would be a situation."
You are making assumptions based on your perceptions. It doesn't matter what you think, controlling and keeping my emotions in check and attempting to control her are 2 totally different things. If you can't see that, then oh well.
"Iam just trying to figure this all out. Even though I hurt her by leaving, and have tried to detach myself completely (it's been 8 months since I have last spoken to her),it's really hard to do lately. And I have had dated (and am currently dating) and had many relationships previously, so this isn't just "puppy love" or lust that I am feeling."

"Lol thats good that your dating, forgive me again but i dont feel you deserve this girl from what your telling us at the board.. You cant change your controlling ways, and you see it as flaws of hers when she cant make up her mind..i'll tell you why and i can bet my life besides the other problems you had this is it...She cant take being controlled and you cant take NOT controlling, She was at a battle of head and heart with you, this is why she prob looked insane ..Now you didn't have to much control over YOURSELF if there was a physical fight going on & you both kept going back to eachother...Your going to do what you want, but i will say this ..I dont think it would be fair if you attempted to talk to her first, if you come to the conclusion that you Love her as you say that much, I think you should see if SHE misses you. It's not only about YOU.. Sorry dont want to come off mean or anything but this in my opinion is the truth, i'm sure other ladies will be here to help you out. Goodluck"

Again, trying to help someone get their life in order, or assisting them to work through their problems can't always be neccessarily viewed as control. You gemini women(the ones I know personally)seem to have a issue with this thing call control. But sometimes control means having discipline or being able to channel thoughts and energy into something positive. Control is a part of life. And for a couple in a relationship it works both ways. There are going to be certain tasks and situations that you are going to have to go through, or take on that could always be considered by someone as controlling or domineering. Control can also mean to have reserve, restraint, reticence, self-control, self-restraint. So maybe your idea of control is evidentally based on some bad past experiences you might have had in your prior relationships.
"And as an adult you should also learn how to not stray from your bed, and break up the right way. So you see, some faults are bigger then others. I dont need you to tell me, what i have to do as an adult. Thats not what your here for, and your rude. Bye"

Oh, I didn't know you you were perfect! So unless you are from another planet and not human, you have made mistakes in your relationships also, we all have. So don't try to preach to me like you are a saint. I see from your forum profile it says that you are single, and I can see why, as you obviously have some underlying issues regarding men. Maybe you should try getting a man (if you can actually find one that would put up with your narcissistic ways, and if you actually have a man, I truly feel sorry for him) before you attempt to give useless advice that you think is worthwhile.
lol em-gem Winking you read my mind... whats up hunny!!
Oh, I didn't know you you were perfect! So unless you are from another planet and not human, you have made mistakes in your relationships also, we all have. So don't try to preach to me like you are a saint. I see from your forum profile it says that you are single, and I can see why, as you obviously have some underlying issues regarding men. Maybe you should try getting a man (if you can actually find one that would put up with your narcissistic ways, and if you actually have a man, I truly feel sorry for him) before you attempt to give useless advice that you think is worthwhile.
No one said i was perfect, but you try to come here and scold me, i was simply trying to explain to you how she might have felt. Dont come at me and i wont get nasty with you..especially after i was writing an essay to help you. And i have absolutely no problem getting anyone =).Case closed
well said m&m =) hello sweetie!
nothing much, just surfin around..finally have some free time =) how have things been with you and your love? I hope well?
deffinitly well said em-gem & m&m! (claps)
too perfect! you must be too crazy!! (this is also what i secretly love about you..SHH!) lol but thank you!
Thanks to everyone who has tried to help me sort through this dilemma. Emeraldgem & m&mgem, thank you very much for your detailed, inspiring posts. And to Juicy, I don't know how we got off on the wrong foot, but I think you took some of what I was writing to you out of context. I wasn't try to be bossy or condescending. And I only attacked you after I felt you were trying to be crude. All water under the bridge as far as I am concerned. I will be back on the boards later to discuss this more, and again I am appreciative to all of you for your assistance and contributions.