how do geminis act when hurt?

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by libragirl37 on Thursday, May 9, 2013 and has 20 replies.
First off I'm a libra and have been seeing a gemini for 2 months. We hit it off right away and have been talking everyday since and have gradually went from seeing eachother once a week to now 3 times a week. We get along famously! Well here's the problem the other nigjt we were in the car, he turned down the radio and told me he loved me. I was so caught off guard and didn't know how to react so I stayed quiet. I was trying to think of the right response but I guess I took a long time because later on he said that it was extremely awkward and that he had never said that to someone first and couldn't believe I didn't say anything back. I dont love him, however I do like him I guess I could have just said that but I was just so sjocked. I took him home, he said have a good one and walked inside. I texted him this morning but I haven't gotten. A response. Do they just need time? I don't wanna Loose what we have going but I'm not sure what to say.
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@libragirl37 We need to talk with each other I am a Gemini girl and I am involve with a Libra man, And we could both share our stories message me on here so we can talk. And to answer your question Yes, we do need time when u didn't respond that kinda crushed his heart, the only way that a Gemini will tell u that they love u is that if they really mean it, and if u wasn't sure u should of told him u wasn't sure about how u feel about him. One thing is true for us Gemini's never ever lie to us, and never ever cheat on us those are the worst things u can do to us. We are faithful and will love u but once our trust is broken u will never ever get it back. But message me so we can talk more
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@VeryAstuteAries well I agree with u to a certain point about not talking to u is us all the way because what's the point in talking to someone that hurts us. About the lying its on both the men and the women, more so the men cuz my dad's a Gem and he's a big lyer, I am a Gem but I am more upfront when it comes to telling the truth cuz I don't like to be lied to so why lie to someone else. And I feel that Aries and Libra's are retards in my opinion.
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That.is just ridiculous to say that ALL GEMS lie, cheat, or are all the bad discriptions.... Like Angie stated her father is, but she is not. It's called evolving. My father lies constantly, as well. Learning that I didn't want to be like him, was enough for me! If you were to read some of the threads in here, you will notice that not all gems see eye to eye. We all make choices, and that would be like saying all gems make the same choices. We don't. smile
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This really isn't about lying. I never lied to my Gemini. He told me he loved me, I was completely blown away and shut down. I didn't know how to react so I didn't say anything and I hurt him. I didn't mean to I just didn't want to say the wrong thing but by not saying anything I hurt him. He hasn't responded to my text. Does this mean he's gone for good or might just. Need time?
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Posted by libragirl37
This really isn't about lying. I never lied to my Gemini. He told me he loved me, I was completely blown away and shut down. I didn't know how to react so I didn't say anything and I hurt him. I didn't mean to I just didn't want to say the wrong thing but by not saying anything I hurt him. He hasn't responded to my text. Does this mean he's gone for good or might just. Need time?


Don't stop contact as this might show that your continued silence is disinterest. Gems are usually very easy to talk to and that's often the preferred method of communication. Just explain what your silence meant...but like anyone once they have been hurt too many times he might close himself off. Watch out for the games as a way of either retaliating or testing. Playfulness gone wrong...
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I said everything I possibly could. I explained why I went silent and told him I really liked him. I put myself out there like he did and told him if he needed time take it and that I hoped to hear from him soin. I'm just gonna leave it alone for a week because apparently he's upset. I dont thiml he was being playful because I know that's how he is and so am I and usually when he says something outlandish I roll with jt and sauy something sarcastic and funny. His eyes were serious and he said he was hurt that I didn't say anything
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I'm a gemini girl... and when I am hurt, I simply stop talking to a person who has hurt me... because I just wouldn't feel like to lol. And I do love talking and talking... to strangers, even - so if I'm not speaking to you it means quite lots - you mean less than a stranger (strangers... they are people I don't know yet - unread books, thus very interesting objects...or people, should I say? - if I like someone/or am interested in someone, I would very much like to talk to them, because doing so, I learn about them... hence build a relationship... so, not talking to you? Then there's no chance of a future relationship or whatsoever! You are not invited... my interesting stories won't be shared with you! smile Thus I ignore people/just don't communicate with people who've hurt me - and they might think that I'm avoiding them or they misjudge the situation and think 'so that talkative gemini is gone - I think I beat/got rid of her!' No lol They've just become someone I really do not care about any more... not curious as in what they are doing or what they will do... I just don't give a f***. They mean nothing to me now. No communication with you? = you're dead to me now smile) Also, they will not find my usual humour and charms. No more fun conversations or jokes for them... I just wouldn't want to have those with them.
As in what you could do - you may write an email. Long ones are fine, I think. We do like communication... you write an email and your gemini guy will very likely check & read it... because we are very curious... about what you have to say.
Be honest and clear - explain to your guy why you felt the way you did the other night. No need to be overly emotional - rather, 'why' you became silent after he confessed his feelings for you in a calm and rational manner.
Your gemini guy won't be silent forever should he be still interested in you - so keep trying to contact him. It may take some days or even a few weeks for us hurt geminis to recover, but when we're healed and we still care about you, we will try to talk to you - and if not, then it's bad, but you will have to move on Sad
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Thank you. I feel like eventually he will talk to me. I dont want to bug him so ill just wait a week or so. He usually texts me first when I dont talk to him so maybe his curiosity will get to him. I wasn't in love so I won't be completely heartbroken if I never hear from him again. The thing that gets me is we connected so well! I like him alot and at least want to know how he feels. How long should I wait to say something again?
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Posted by libragirl37
I said everything I possibly could. I explained why I went silent and told him I really liked him. I put myself out there like he did and told him if he needed time take it and that I hoped to hear from him soin. I'm just gonna leave it alone for a week because apparently he's upset. I dont thiml he was being playful because I know that's how he is and so am I and usually when he says something outlandish I roll with jt and sauy something sarcastic and funny. His eyes were serious and he said he was hurt that I didn't say anything


Yeah, you'll get the silent tmt until I bounce back, which is pretty quick. With that said, I still don't think that you should leave him alone for too long, again that might amplify the hurting. If you maintain contact even if it's just to say hi, then he will probably process your response to the "ILY" as indeed shock as opposed to you not feeling him. He's analyzing everything, every action and word and will probably continue to do so if you start talking again.
Playfulness gone wrong is in reference to the possibility of retaliation and testing, not to his "ILY". Best of lucksmile
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Posted by libragirl37
This really isn't about lying. I never lied to my Gemini. He told me he loved me, I was completely blown away and shut down. I didn't know how to react so I didn't say anything and I hurt him. I didn't mean to I just didn't want to say the wrong thing but by not saying anything I hurt him. He hasn't responded to my text. Does this mean he's gone for good or might just. Need time?


No one said you did... Just was commenting on the "All gems do the same thing" issue...
The reason I haven't commented about your "issue" is bcuz I don't see it as one.... Shit happens. But the post above is right. For me, I love open and honest communication! Talk about it when HE is ready, and all should be fine. If not, move on.
Btw, you are worrying about nothing. Maybe you do love him. Just saying...
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I feel like it is something. I love yoy is a big deal and I didn't respond well. Ill wait a few days and message him something. Would sending flowers be over the top? The two messages I did send he ignored, which is better then him texting back and saying f*** off leave me alone. @misslissa you have a good pount. Maybe I like him more then I'm letting myself admit
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Can't say for all geminis... but if I were him, I would appreciate an honest explanation better than flowers. I think... we geminis are less romantic than libras... (in general, I am speaking) and he's a guy - romantic gifts (such as flowers) don't do much work for men usually. Again, be honest and clear. We appreciate logical and rational explanations most of the time.
I think it's a good sign that your guy did not respond to your messages in a rude manner, like the examples you presented.
It'd take about two weeks to recover... I guess (or three weeks to max,) if I were in the case. But I'm guessing here. Everyone is different so I can't guarantee. However, we geminis are known for being quick (or impatient? lol), so decision making won't take too long, like a month or two. I personally don't see it happening lol We think lots, we analyze... on facts. So give him something to analyze - your explanation. The other night he must've felt awkward and lost since there was nothing (you did not reply to his confession, thus no data whatsoever) to process over methinks. (And flowers are too vague, I think. A clear explanation would be much better imo)
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Posted by xxixxi
Can't say for all geminis... but if I were him, I would appreciate an honest explanation better than flowers. I think... we geminis are less romantic than libras... (in general, I am speaking) and he's a guy - romantic gifts (such as flowers) don't do much work for men usually. Again, be honest and clear. We appreciate logical and rational explanations most of the time.
I think it's a good sign that your guy did not respond to your messages in a rude manner, like the examples you presented.
It'd take about two weeks to recover... I guess (or three weeks to max,) if I were in the case. But I'm guessing here. Everyone is different so I can't guarantee. However, we geminis are known for being quick (or impatient? lol), so decision making won't take too long, like a month or two. I personally don't see it happening lol We think lots, we analyze... on facts. So give him something to analyze - your explanation. The other night he must've felt awkward and lost since there was nothing (you did not reply to his confession, thus no data whatsoever) to process over methinks. (And flowers are too vague, I think. A clear explanation would be much better imo)


+1, with the exception that it would take me only a few days to respond to you. You didn't cheat so I wouldn't let it drag on especially since you provided an explanation. That's taken into consideration, so it looks good so far, but if the silence extends beyond a couple of weeks, unless death or a coma a gem would be a looking for yah. As for a romantic gesture....I would have to read up on that...smile
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Posted by xxixxi
I'm a gemini girl... and when I am hurt, I simply stop talking to a person who has hurt me... because I just wouldn't feel like to lol. And I do love talking and talking... to strangers, even - so if I'm not speaking to you it means quite lots - you mean less than a stranger (strangers... they are people I don't know yet - unread books, thus very interesting objects...or people, should I say? - if I like someone/or am interested in someone, I would very much like to talk to them, because doing so, I learn about them... hence build a relationship... so, not talking to you? Then there's no chance of a future relationship or whatsoever! You are not invited... my interesting stories won't be shared with you! smile Thus I ignore people/just don't communicate with people who've hurt me - and they might think that I'm avoiding them or they misjudge the situation and think 'so that talkative gemini is gone - I think I beat/got rid of her!' No lol They've just become someone I really do not care about any more... not curious as in what they are doing or what they will do... I just don't give a f***. They mean nothing to me now. No communication with you? = you're dead to me now smile) Also, they will not find my usual humour and charms. No more fun conversations or jokes for them... I just wouldn't want to have those with them.
As in what you could do - you may write an email. Long ones are fine, I think. We do like communication... you write an email and your gemini guy will very likely check & read it... because we are very curious... about what you have to say.
Be honest and clear - explain to your guy why you felt the way you did the other night. No need to be overly emotional - rather, 'why' you became silent after he confessed his feelings for you in a calm and rational manner.
Your gemini guy won't be silent forever should he be still interested in you - so keep trying to contact him. It may take some days or even a few weeks for us hurt geminis to recover, but when we're healed and we still care about you, we will try to talk to you - and if not, then it's bad, but you will have to move on Sad


+Infinity - This is spot on smile
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So he still hasn't responded. I mean he could text back and say leave me alone or something mean but he hasn't. Do you think its because he isn't ready to talk but wants to hear what I have to say? I mean for all I know he could be getting revenge by shutting me out when I'm putting myself out there like I did but I dont see him doing that. Him saying he loved mecand now having no idea how he feels about what he said is torture
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LG37,
I'm going to go onto a limb, so to speak, regarding the differences between you and the gem.
First off, an evolved gem man will almost never say those three words unless he is confident your feelings are the same or at least very near the same. With that said, because of the way that situation went down, this is what went through his head that night (try to empathize with these, not think defensively):
-I just shared with her something very personal, on a deep emotional level. What I got in return was a surprised blanket of silence. I can tell she feels a little guilty for not knowing what to say, and that is probably the worst thing in the world. She felt that way after I said that..? I guess I really misjudged her (on an emotional level) in the first place. That being so, since I guess I wasn't reading her correctly before...and now know that she can't communicate well when she is overwhelmed, this probably isn't what I was looking for in the first place.
The awkwardness comes in when he realizes you do not share the same feelings and he most definitely saw this just by your body language and facial expression at that moment (we are very good at that). The fact that he told you how awkward it was (inside he was hoping you would've explained yourself to counteract his feelings of hurt), means that that may have just been his conclusion to the relationship because he needs someone who is in tune with her feelings and can communicate those openly. Gems can be like light switches based on others reactions to things. That is, in essence, why we enjoy communicating so much--to validate our intuitions about someone or something. It is okay if our intuition wasn't correct, but only if it explained (usually in the moment of things)in a neutral, easy to understand way. We are not going to question you multiple times because we expect the first response to be an accurate one because that is how we are.
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A word of wisdom to you is that a relationship is so very dependent on timing. He was ready for you and you were still in the "testing the waters" phase. There is nothing wrong with that, or wrong with you, or him.
I would strongly suggest you focus on improving your understanding of your own feelings you hold inside. Perhaps try working on a journal. Doing so will help you to let out some of those emotions on paper which will enviable evolve into them coming out in words later. It's important to be honest to yourself which should be easy in a journal.
I recommend you do not initiate communication for about 3 weeks since you have already texted twice with no response in return. After waiting, if there is still no response, you probably will have your conclusive answer. If you are still sincerely wanting for things to continue, send him that email or FB (private) message. Definitely don??t send another text because it will just remind him of the previous two he voluntarily ignored. In your message be short and to the point. Tell him how embarrassed you are for freezing up. And because you felt that way, you knew you needed to work on yourself in being able to communicate your feelings more openly. Say: I believe I can be there for you emotionally and apologize it took so long. Would you care to see me on ???such and such date??? I would so appreciate a chance to have you back in my life.
Good luck in the mean time smile
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Nice one Gemi2licious
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Thank you gemi2licious. I feel absolutely horrible! I mean I dont love him but I know I could. We definitely had a connection that was mind blowing. Your so dead on. Hopefully he will come around and if not I guess I dont blame him.
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