How much freedom to give a gemini man? Being a doormat vs. needy/controlling

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by aj123 on Sunday, June 11, 2017 and has 4 replies.
Hi, I've been with an early 30s man (whose chart is mostly made up of sagittarius and gemini i.e. sun, moon, mercury, venus etc. but his mars is in scorpio) - he is very fun loving, loud, confident, drinks a lot, had a pic saying "here for a good time not a long time" etc. but has shown me a lot of care and affection the past few months we've been dating (whilst also sometimes being a bit jealous e.g. if I bring up past relationships or don't contact him for hours etc. maybe due to his mars in scorpio). He claims that a past gf left him for someone who earns more than him so even if I jokingly imply or suggest he's not very financially off (even if said indirectly or without intention, it upsets him a lot - even though I do say sorry). He also says he didn't like that another previous gf always wanted to keep tabs on him by asking where he is, what he is doing all the time and he disliked that. & that he'd dated 2 girls at once, etc. in the past but at the moment, coz of his heavy work schedule and being all satisfied with me, he's only been seeing me he says... but still adds random girls on fb etc constantly, doesn't delete his online dating account (no idea if he uses it though)


Anyway, he seems a very outgoing, popular, social, freedom loving type (although he can occasionally be clingy which is fine) - As I have quite a lot of aquarius and aries in my chart, I'm kinda similar in that I enjoy my own space and having time to myself and would hate to me constantly around a guy 24/7. To be honest, I'm happy enough meeting up once or twice a month (but obviously being in contact every day) as I am independent, have my own interests, a bit of a loner, and we have more to talk about after some time away.. but compared to previous people I've dated, he goes off a lot more.. he sometimes goes off the radar for 22 hours etc. which is worrying.. like he'd go completely offline from saturday 4pm all the way to sunday night (so not like he's ignoring me as he won't have even been on Facebook) and then he'll say he was out drinking with his mates... whilst I don't mind the time to myself and have been totally cool with it, I did wanna ask what is the best way to handle this?


I'm afraid that if I continually be cool with this, he'll disappear more and more often on me and start seeing others etc. as he knows that I'll be totally fine with not being contacted for hours and I'd be nice with him once he does come back so he might not feel he has to contact me as often as he'll be less afraid of me leaving? I'm fine with how things are right now but I don't want this behaviour to become more and more frequent, that's all.


but if I make a big deal out of it (which is a bit silly as I enjoy having me time) just to stop it getting worse and show him I am not a doormat that will put up wth anything, he might think I'm being controlling, clingy and restrictive of his freedom?


If you are a sagittarius or gemini man, I'd especially like your views on what you'd prefer from a girl who you were seeing.


Thank you
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That's how a Gemini guy I was with. They seem to come on quick and leave just as fast and always come back to leave? am I right?
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Posted by aj123
... but compared to previous people I've dated, he goes off a lot more.. he sometimes goes off the radar for 22 hours etc. which is worrying.. like he'd go completely offline from saturday 4pm all the way to sunday night (so not like he's ignoring me as he won't have even been on Facebook) and then he'll say he was out drinking with his mates... whilst I don't mind the time to myself and have been totally cool with it, I did wanna ask what is the best way to handle this?


Fuck, 22 hours???!!! He hates you!
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It looks like my Aqua at the early stages of dating. But closing the gap in matters of time spent apart came naturally until now it's almost completely gone. He wants to spend all his free time with me only. Not alone, not with his friends (we go out to meet them together).

Who initiates the online and offline contacts? Ho long have you been dating?
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