I need help with this Gemini man, I can’t tell if he is playing me or not.

So I met this amazing Gemini man 2 months ago, I’m Aquarius so we mesh really well. We moved pretty fast after we first hung out we started seeing each other at least 3 times a week. He listens, we talk for hours, he wants better for me. I’m an exotic dancer, he told me he didn’t like that but I call him or go over to his house every night after work & even started back school for him. We aren’t official yet but I wanted to take my time as well. At first I never worried about him and other girls because he was with me all the time, & he chose to spend his birthday with me. We planned the entire weekend, & come Saturday(on his birthday) I made a really big mistake. I spent $ 800 on his birthday gift & he loved it, but the previous day my car was towed and I was going to have to break my savings to get it out. I really wanted him to offer to help since he has a lot more money than me but I let it go. He never offered to let me use one of his cars, or tell me it would be ok he’d give me a ride here & there(Uber’s are super expensive where I live). And this happened after I got him his gift. So Saturday we go to the mall to go get clothes to go out that night & I didn’t want to spend anymore money but I really wanted the night to be special so I went into Sephora to grab something & he walks away from the register making it obvious he doesn’t want to pay for it. I feel terrible for making it seem like it was all about money but he should know it’s not like that, he usually always offers to pay for anything I buy when I’m with him & even sometimes I’ll tell him no, but when I needed it most I guess because it was his birthday maybe... but it made me really upset that I just went all out for his day & he didn’t offer to pay for $ 30 make up? I had an attitude the rest of the time at the mall he made me carry all the bags & I just felt really used... so he catches on that I’m mad & offers to hold something I say no & he offers to go get lunch real quick at this point I’m really emotional I’m not used to being so open with someone and feeling taken advantage of. So now he’s upset I had an attitude & I meet the other twin lol. He drops me off home & doesn’t answer my calls to make up with him for hours. He finally answers I tell him I’m sorry & beg him not to cancel our plans he tells me he’d rather go home & I remind him I’m human & make mistakes so he says he’ll come soon. I call an hour later no answer, he ALWAYS answers my phone calls, he texts me instead saying he’s still coming. We had dinner reservations at 10 it’s now 9. By 10 I realize he’s not coming. I block his number out of hurt because I think he went to go see the movie we were supposed to see with someone else... so now I unblocked him and he has called once since then & texted short messages but nothing like “he’s sorry” or “Give me another chance” like usual it’s almost like he doesn’t care anymore. I finally sent him a message telling him how I felt & that he should probably leave me alone because he hurt me so bad. He never responded & today a whole day later he sends me the heartbroken emoji. Why didn’t he respond when I opened up ? Is he just playing me? I feel so hurt and I just don’t know what to do should I just block his number because it won’t be the same? Mind you me giving him an attitude on his bday was wrong I know but I don’t know what else I can do to make him forgive me fully. He’s told me has crazy feelings for me, I feel when he pushes me away sometimes it’s because he’s afraid of getting hurt he even told me once when he was acting distant that he’s scared of me. I can’t get him off my mind he makes me happy and he became my peace but I don’t want to get involved with another manipulative guy or a player. Please help I need opinions

Did you meet him at work?

Once a trick, always a trick...

He said that he hates you dancing. And then you spend 20/25 lapdances worth for other men on him. Yikes!

Sorry fellow Aqua, but I think you behaved like a spoiled brat. If I was the Gem gut I’d run away from you like the plague. I think you ruined a possible soul mate connection because 1. He doesn’t like the fact you’re dancing but over looked it temporarily because he likes you so much 2. He only continued to respond because he has feelings for you but not only did you insult him on his birthday by behaving like that, you ruined it for him! Gems like to have fun and be carefree! Also, the audacity for you to expect him to offer to pick you up or give you one of his cars?! 🙄. That type of behavior is reserved for serious relationships like engages couples or marriage or at least a couple! I don’t even think you guys are exclusive so how can you expect that from him? YOU bought him the expensive gift, but making it seem like it’s his fault you’re now broke! Nooooo he didn’t ask for that! No girl you’re wrong wrong wrong. If he doesn’t come back he’s smart. You must accept it and move on.

AND you expect him to crawl back to you and apologize ?! No ma’am... he didn’t do anything wrong! Oh gosh... 🤦🏽‍♀️

Posted by AneemA04

Posted by Wineaux15
Sorry fellow Aqua, but I think you behaved like a spoiled brat. If I was the Gem gut I’d run away from you like the plague. I think you ruined a possible soul mate connection because 1. He doesn’t like the fact you’re dancing but over looked it temporarily because he likes you so much 2. He only continued to respond because he has feelings for you but not only did you insult him on his birthday by behaving like that, you ruined it for him! Gems like to have fun and be carefree! Also, the audacity for you to expect him to offer to pick you up or give you one of his cars?! 🙄. That type of behavior is reserved for serious relationships like engages couples or marriage or at least a couple! I don’t even think you guys are exclusive so how can you expect that from him? YOU bought him the expensive gift, but making it seem like it’s his fault you’re now broke! Nooooo he didn’t ask for that! No girl you’re wrong wrong wrong. If he doesn’t come back he’s smart. You must accept it and move on.

Eeekk so harsh.

click to expand

I’m sorry OP and @AneemA04 I’m not typically this harsh, but Im reading the post and shaking my head... idk I’ll hide back in batcave now. Carry on you guys.

Do you realise that all this drama is based on your unrealistic expectations?

Next time you want something from anyone, politely ask. Do not expect someone to read your mind, or worry about your financial situation without reason, as if using a bit of your savings is the equivalent of the effect of Trump's politics.

He's not your sugar daddy. You got used to "men pay for women" too much. Maybe it's because of your job. Stop acting like a kept woman and you will have less problems in your relationships.

Also, spending $ 800 on a gift for someone you are just dating is irresponsible.

I read once the blog of a man who got a similarly expensive gift (a watch) from his "average earnings" girlfriend. He was appalled, not only because of her stupid spending habits, but mainly because of the pressure he perceived that she was putting on him with her outrageous gifts!

He ended up dumping her.

Posted by Wineaux15
Sorry fellow Aqua, but I think you behaved like a spoiled brat. If I was the Gem gut I’d run away from you like the plague. I think you ruined a possible soul mate connection because 1. He doesn’t like the fact you’re dancing but over looked it temporarily because he likes you so much 2. He only continued to respond because he has feelings for you but not only did you insult him on his birthday by behaving like that, you ruined it for him! Gems like to have fun and be carefree! Also, the audacity for you to expect him to offer to pick you up or give you one of his cars?! 🙄. That type of behavior is reserved for serious relationships like engages couples or marriage or at least a couple! I don’t even think you guys are exclusive so how can you expect that from him? YOU bought him the expensive gift, but making it seem like it’s his fault you’re now broke! Nooooo he didn’t ask for that! No girl you’re wrong wrong wrong. If he doesn’t come back he’s smart. You must accept it and move on.

Great analysis

I think you need to reevaluate your relationship with money. I was young 2.

Something seems off.

Anyways. I agree with your fellow aqua advise above.

I believe what you are saying is that you'd have appreciated him being considerate and at least offering a ride to go to pickup your car. You may not even have accepted..... It's just the principle of it all. Is that correct? Wanting someone to care about your well-being is not a bad thing.

He showed that he is a loser by accepting an expensive gift from you, yet he doesn't approve of how you earned the money. I find it funny that he wants you to quit dancing so much, but he couldn't offer you a ride when you needed it. He only wants you to leave that life style for selfish reasons, not because he has any concern for you. He's afraid someone is going to Kanye you. He didn't even offer to carry any bags until he realized that you were upset. Inconsiderate af. Then you allowed him to flip the switch on you when he found out you were upset.

He's definitely playing you. you also played yourself. Lose the loser. Also, change your mentality. Buying a man that you've known for only two months an expensive gift was definitely a mistake as you have stated. You should also evaluate every decision you've made following the mall incident. Then find someone better.

I appreciate the opinions even the harsh ones. Not that I care what anyone thinks but it took a lot for me to be this way. I take care of my whole family & before him it was all about the money & if a guy wasn’t spending it I didn’t want to talk to him this a defense mechanism I use to avoid getting hurt or taken advantage. I realize I fucked this relationship up with my old habits... but to take up for myself he does spend quite a lot on me, has gave me money before & spent way more than $ 800 on me at the mall. & he is very materialistic, he drives a Lamborghini. I wanted to get him something materialistic because I felt like if I didn’t get him something expensive than he wouldn’t like it... He has way more than me and sometimes I get intimidated because I drive a crap car and am still getting my life together. But that was wrong of me. I’m going to leave it alone and just thank god for giving me someone that was able to touch my heart & continue working on myself. & hopefully one day we’ll meet again.

Posted by nanobot

Posted by Undine
I read once the blog of a man who got a similarly expensive gift (a watch) from his "average earnings" girlfriend. He was appalled, not only because of her stupid spending habits, but mainly because of the pressure he perceived that she was putting on him with her outrageous gifts!

He ended up dumping her.

I can't speak for all gems, but gift giving and receiving makes me very uncomfortable and I even have a Leo rising 😅

I really hate to receive them because I rarely reciprocate and I don't like feeling indebted to people.

I think gifts mean very little to many gems. Nice at times, but unnecessary. Just tell us that you appreciate us and listen to our thoughts and ideas and we good 🧠

click to expand

Not a Gem trait, I feel exactly the same when it comes to gifts. One would say we didn't get memorable gifts for birthdays and christmases as children

After some embarrassing experiences involving baby sized diamond earrings or some with stones "in the colour of my hair" (huh...why—), I mention to my SO that I only give/accept cards, flowers, vouchers or tickets, food treats or books.

Posted by purplehearts94
I appreciate the opinions even the harsh ones. Not that I care what anyone thinks but it took a lot for me to be this way. I take care of my whole family & before him it was all about the money & if a guy wasn’t spending it I didn’t want to talk to him this a defense mechanism I use to avoid getting hurt or taken advantage. I realize I treetrunked this relationship up with my old habits... but to take up for myself he does spend quite a lot on me, has gave me money before & spent way more than $ 800 on me at the mall. & he is very materialistic, he drives a Lamborghini. I wanted to get him something materialistic because I felt like if I didn’t get him something expensive than he wouldn’t like it... He has way more than me and sometimes I get intimidated because I drive a crap car and am still getting my life together. But that was wrong of me. I’m going to leave it alone and just thank god for giving me someone that was able to touch my heart & continue working on myself. & hopefully one day we’ll meet again.

Don't let "materialism" stay in the way of choosing a good partner. From my experience, every time I was into someone that had something I wanted badly for myself (not money, but things like career, citizenship, professional prestige or social status), something PREVENTED me from developing a lasting bond with him.

Posted by purplehearts94
I appreciate the opinions even the harsh ones. Not that I care what anyone thinks but it took a lot for me to be this way. I take care of my whole family & before him it was all about the money & if a guy wasn’t spending it I didn’t want to talk to him this a defense mechanism I use to avoid getting hurt or taken advantage. I realize I fucked this relationship up with my old habits... but to take up for myself he does spend quite a lot on me, has gave me money before & spent way more than $ 800 on me at the mall. & he is very materialistic, he drives a Lamborghini. I wanted to get him something materialistic because I felt like if I didn’t get him something expensive than he wouldn’t like it... He has way more than me and sometimes I get intimidated because I drive a crap car and am still getting my life together. But that was wrong of me. I’m going to leave it alone and just thank god for giving me someone that was able to touch my heart & continue working on myself. & hopefully one day we’ll meet again.

It’ll be hard to make a lasting connection/relationship while you are stripping. Get your life in order and figure out a plan b for what life looks like after dancing. Work towards that goal. Become financially independent. THEN open yourself up for love.