It's Complicated and I don't know what to do

First let's start with out charts:

Me:

Sun Aquarius

Moon Aquarius

Venus Aries

Mercury Aquarius

Mars Sagittarius

Saturn Capricorn

Pluto Scorpio

Uranus Capricorn

Jupiter Aries

Him:

Sun Gemini

Moon Aquarius

Venus Taurus

Mercury Taurus

Mars Aries

Saturn Aquarius

Pluto Scorpio

We have been in a situationship for 9 months now. He has expressed his love he has for me and simply said he doesn't want a relationship in fear of messing things up. Otherwise, he has no problem starting a relationship and hurting other women. Now I do want to mention we are really close. We talk about EVERYTHING including other women interest, family info, insecurities, immaturity, ask for advice on life, call several times a day, make plans. We talked about children and having a family. He knows my children and love them. But he also says he is comfortable where he is and now he wants to focus on growing up. He will always be a child at heart and need to find the balance between supporting himself, his family, but still enjoying life. He says I'm his best friend and confide in me about things he don't tell anyone else because it's make him super insecure. A little history, we've known each other for years. We have had casual sex but one time he wanted to be with me and he was a true player at which I witnessed first hand with all his different women and games and lies he told them. Usually I was on the scene. But he wanted to be with me because he felt he could be himself but I pursued another relationship which hurt him. I love him then and now. It's simply he doesn't or can't provide security I need. I am sure as he find himself and mature he can but now the timing is off again. He basically expressed that he is ok with me being with someone else as long as we can maintain our friendship. But I really do want to be with him but I don't know if it's even worth me waiting for him or just maintain our friendship and pursue other suitors. I truly love him and he knows me... the only man who does. Does anyone have any insight on how this can work? I know I can't make him commit or come out of his comforts but I am lacking the comfort I need and well our bond hinders me from being emotionally available to anyone else. So I am wondering if I should cut it off and pursue what I need or is a Gemini worth waiting for. I know that their minds constantly change, so a part of me is hoping we do get together but because I do really love him I wouldn't mind if he finds someone who he is willing to open up for. He has changed because of me being his life and has acknowledged that many times. He is over grateful that I opened his mind and supported him during tough times. I do help him grow financially, physically, open up emotionally, and think more critically about life. Funny thing is he does the same for me. I guess I am stumped trying to figure this out as time is passing and before I know it we will be a year in with no actual progress on a personal relationship or being exclusive. Any advice?

Just stay friends. You know he has a hard time committing, so you'll constantly wonder if he's looking for other female companionship other than you. If he really wants you he'll make the decision to not want many women because all he'll want is you. If he does finally make that decision it'll be beautiful because the best relationships often begin with friendships.

Funny you say that. Because he always mentioned how he naturally doesn't find himself truly interested in other women and he kind of do it for kicks to see if he still got it. He knows he is not that kind of man anymore and he really just want to focus on life. Actually, his father was a player and he see that it wasn't the life he wanted for himself. So he will meet a chick and kind of see what they will let him do. He tells me their conversations and their reactions and try to understand why they say this and that. He know he can be a total ass and childish. So he finds it funny when they block him after cancelling dates and stuff. But he said they are sexy or whatever and he knows he can bed them if he want to. After he finds that he can actually do it, he loses interest and never take the next step. It boost his ego a bit to find women wanting him and throwing themselves at him. I called him ugly because he is but he's charming and will grow on you. So he will tease me and say wel she said I'm sexy and handsome lol. I mean we embrace our friendship it's just I get mixed signals and I want a relationship preferably with him. It's just I don't want to waste my time in the friend zone pushing other men away who wants more to come to find out he really just want to stay close friends forever but I also don't want to move on and miss out on a great mate either. I say this because I am a really devoted partner and I will be in a relationship for years, my partner is usually the one who destroy our relationship and try to come back lol. That is another topic he brought up that he don't want us to end like my exes where he begging to be in life and shut him out since I have shut him out when I am in a relationship with reason... why would my new partner be comfortable with me and him always talking etc causing jealousy and insecurity. So yes moving on with someone else would mean I shut him out to give my new partner my undivided attention, effort, etc. without them having to worry about what me and this gemini funny friendship stands. I am far more fixed and stubborn when it comes to this so I want to make a definitive decision. I do mind walking away prematurely and not exploring the possibilities but I also don't want to be holding on to some foolish ideas. And unfortunately, This gemini man is all over the place with us. He is even over protective and jealous when I do pursue someone else to the point he kind of express that I'm impatient. Wtf does that mean really? He has no idea how to commit and we all know getting a man there is insane. So I was wondering if other geminis have felt this way and what does it really mean so I can start really making the moves I need to. Geminis are beautiful people underneath all the superficial BS and just need to find an outlet for their inner child. highly intelligent, super analytical, loving, can be devoted, very compassionate but battle with what others perceive of them rather than being what they want to be. He will become who he needs to be to get what he wants but he is never sure of what he wants lol. So I'm like what a ride but I just want to know is it worth it... from a Gemini perspective... does it matter that you have someone who understands you and truly will be there and understand your crap and help sort it out... is this someone you would ultimately choose to be with or is it just another type of relationship that you can easily throw away.

Oh wow... sounds a lot like the friendship I had with a Gem I met at work. He opened u to me, tells me more then I want to know about how he is with women and yet we kissed a few times, went on "dates" but he couldn't commit with his life style and one day it just clicked for me and I understood we were not meant to be together. Now I have a beautiful Gemini who is ready to commit and able to give and receive love. Soo I guess I'm saying sometimes people are just in your life to help you with the next person you meet. I know I learned a lot on how to handle the Gem I'm with now because of my 9 years friendship with the other Gemini 😉

Interesting. Did you lose contact? Did you cut it off because I am more than sure he did not... And did you guys love each other deeply or was it more casual? Because we have a deep romance too lol it's nuts I know. I guess that's the Gemini mans world. And did he try to comeback once you moved on? Or he let go too?

Posted by Roaming
Interesting. Did you lose contact? Did you cut it off because I am more than sure he did not... And did you guys love each other deeply or was it more casual? Because we have a deep romance too lol it's nuts I know. I guess that's the Gemini mans world. And did he try to comeback once you moved on? Or he let go too?

We still friends... never dated because timing was always off... I was dating other guys, he was with someone, etc... then we got to point where we decided dating might ruin things soo I always had him on my mind as a potential and sometimes he would say things that made me think there was a chance but ultimately in the end I knew it would never work and I'm good with it now 🙂

I guess I am coming to terms on that as well. I am getting to know someone else but was hesitant about it. I am thinking it is ok for him and I to remain as is because it's pretty cool to have someone who knows you and you can be free and not have the stipulations of a relationship. I mean I don't hide anything from him. Lol. I am more on my toes and closed in in a relationship as it has rules and I have to be more cautious of being critical and analytical. And I don't want that to become an issue with us. Plus I have witnessed his dirty games first hand so I wouldn't trust him as a partner. I would really have to put my guard down which I probably never will. But he does give great insight on being other men. As I am dating he gets jealous but he lets me be but plays a dad role saying things Besides I have been telling him lately, I rather see him take someone else through his sick twisted motions that I get to see from the outside rather than we get together and he begins to shut me out. And then I don't feel as secure. So you are right. I will love it as is. Embrace our friendship and become romantically involved with the guy who truly fits the bill. Thanks for the edge on.

Posted by Roaming
I guess I am coming to terms on that as well. I am getting to know someone else but was hesitant about it. I am thinking it is ok for him and I to remain as is because it's pretty cool to have someone who knows you and you can be free and not have the stipulations of a relationship. I mean I don't hide anything from him. Lol. I am more on my toes and closed in in a relationship as it has rules and I have to be more cautious of being critical and analytical. And I don't want that to become an issue with us. Plus I have witnessed his dirty games first hand so I wouldn't trust him as a partner. I would really have to put my guard down which I probably never will. But he does give great insight on being other men. As I am dating he gets jealous but he lets me be but plays a dad role saying things Besides I have been telling him lately, I rather see him take someone else through his sick twisted motions that I get to see from the outside rather than we get together and he begins to shut me out. And then I don't feel as secure. So you are right. I will love it as is. Embrace our friendship and become romantically involved with the guy who truly fits the bill. Thanks for the edge on.

You are welcome... it's nice to have a guy friend you can get perspective with 🙂