Please help an Aries girl to decode the Gemini man
This topic was created in the Gemini forum by lalanpuffz on Tuesday, April 30, 2013 and has 17 replies.
I would tell the entire story between us but I am studying for a big test now, so I will just give a brief intro and maybe more details later after May.
I was seeing this guy since last Christmas and we have been hanging out almost every week or every other week. Things were unclear, ambiguous, and unfair on many aspects but slowly I did see some progress. Fast forward to March, he told me he was preparing for a big grad school test and had to focus but since he said he wanted to see me at least once every week and promised that we will see each other even more after the test is over, we were still doing our weekly hangout and texting pretty much everyday. We would have back and forth conversation o some days, some other days we would just have about 5 or 6 texts. There have been days (2 to 3days max) occasionally when he would just not text or contact me. Anyways, the Sunday before his test he ignored my text but the next day he texted back and said "sorry I know i ignored your last text but I want to be focused on studying until after friday". I got it so didn't reply to that text. He texted on Wednesday "I wish this test could be over faster so I can hang out with my favorite person" then again a picture of him on the same day. I asked him who took the pic for him and he said it was his friend G. This was all the contact we had until he called after his big test on Friday. He said he was going to his friend's place and was planning to go out to the club with his friend G. we had some brief text exchanges on Friday night and then I did not hear back from him all day Saturday. Until Sat night 9:45pm he asked what I was up to that night. I was not happy that he did not try to see me, so I did not reply to that text. Sunday morning I wanted to initiate contact so I asked him to tell me what he did that weekend and he texted back "why". I was angry when I saw the question why and said I was just curious and that he didn't have to tell me if he didn't feel like it. He said "food, drinks, music, no specific order" I felt the need to confront him because he's never asked me "why" before when I asked him about his weekend. I said " you sounded annoyed when I asked earlier" and his response was "i tend to do that through text. Blame the medium"
I guess the Aries in my got hurt so I did not reply to that text I got Sunday 10am. Now it's Tuesday night and I still have not heard a word from him. What do you think is going on?
I was seeing this guy since last Christmas and we have been hanging out almost every week or every other week. Things were unclear, ambiguous, and unfair on many aspects but slowly I did see some progress. Fast forward to March, he told me he was preparing for a big grad school test and had to focus but since he said he wanted to see me at least once every week and promised that we will see each other even more after the test is over, we were still doing our weekly hangout and texting pretty much everyday. We would have back and forth conversation o some days, some other days we would just have about 5 or 6 texts. There have been days (2 to 3days max) occasionally when he would just not text or contact me. Anyways, the Sunday before his test he ignored my text but the next day he texted back and said "sorry I know i ignored your last text but I want to be focused on studying until after friday". I got it so didn't reply to that text. He texted on Wednesday "I wish this test could be over faster so I can hang out with my favorite person" then again a picture of him on the same day. I asked him who took the pic for him and he said it was his friend G. This was all the contact we had until he called after his big test on Friday. He said he was going to his friend's place and was planning to go out to the club with his friend G. we had some brief text exchanges on Friday night and then I did not hear back from him all day Saturday. Until Sat night 9:45pm he asked what I was up to that night. I was not happy that he did not try to see me, so I did not reply to that text. Sunday morning I wanted to initiate contact so I asked him to tell me what he did that weekend and he texted back "why". I was angry when I saw the question why and said I was just curious and that he didn't have to tell me if he didn't feel like it. He said "food, drinks, music, no specific order" I felt the need to confront him because he's never asked me "why" before when I asked him about his weekend. I said " you sounded annoyed when I asked earlier" and his response was "i tend to do that through text. Blame the medium"
I guess the Aries in my got hurt so I did not reply to that text I got Sunday 10am. Now it's Tuesday night and I still have not heard a word from him. What do you think is going on?
No, we are not in a seriously relationship. We are not official, I haven't seen his friends, etc. He just broke up with his girlfriend in November but he said he was unhappy with the way things were. He is a very social person, probably very typical of Gemini, and he had a friend who is also recently divorced so a typical weekend for them would be hitting up the clubs. I told him I feel like I am always last priority because he is always going out with his friends without me, so he said he will prove to me thats not true after his tests. This is why I was kind of expecting to see him after his first test which is the harder one.
I would actually say "drinks, food, music" is kind of a typical answer because he goes out with his friends on a weekly basis and it has been that way since January this year. I met him end of last year and he said he never used to go out so much until he started hanging out with his friend who he used to share an apartment with. He just broke up with his girlfriend in November when we started hanging out. I knew I should be careful but it is now May and things have been getting a little better, until last weekend.
We did not make any concrete plans but he has been insisting on seeing me once every week so last weekend was the first time he did not ask to see me. I thought it was because he was studying really hard for his test and he also hasn't been hanging with his friends because of the test (he turned his phone off since Wednesday and his test was on Friday)that he was out partying all night. I did ignore his text on Saturday and although he didn't sound too friendly when I texted him on Sunday, he did respond relatively fast, like 5-10 min after each text, although the conversation stopped after he commented on texting being the communication medium as the reason why he sounded annoyed.
I do agree that for someone who is normally neutral to cheerful, the medium shouldn't be why he sounded off.
What should I do now? should I text him back? what should I say?
I would actually say "drinks, food, music" is kind of a typical answer because he goes out with his friends on a weekly basis and it has been that way since January this year. I met him end of last year and he said he never used to go out so much until he started hanging out with his friend who he used to share an apartment with. He just broke up with his girlfriend in November when we started hanging out. I knew I should be careful but it is now May and things have been getting a little better, until last weekend.
We did not make any concrete plans but he has been insisting on seeing me once every week so last weekend was the first time he did not ask to see me. I thought it was because he was studying really hard for his test and he also hasn't been hanging with his friends because of the test (he turned his phone off since Wednesday and his test was on Friday)that he was out partying all night. I did ignore his text on Saturday and although he didn't sound too friendly when I texted him on Sunday, he did respond relatively fast, like 5-10 min after each text, although the conversation stopped after he commented on texting being the communication medium as the reason why he sounded annoyed.
I do agree that for someone who is normally neutral to cheerful, the medium shouldn't be why he sounded off.
What should I do now? should I text him back? what should I say?
Just trying to figure out if I am too impatient (I left the conversation and it will be 3 days by end of Wednesday) and potentially the Aries in me could be just feeling insecure ( I also notice I get extremely moody when it's almost that time of the month)BUT I don't want to lie to myself if something is seriously wrong either. Obviously this is not the most typical start to a relationship but like I said, things have been getting better like he is starting to call me here and there whereas before March we were strictly texting and hanging out.
IMO, this isn't the "start" of a relationship, it IS the relationship. Even though you say you aren't officially together, something in you feels that you really are, and that you have some sort of claim to him. Right now, he comes and goes as he wishes, and has you waiting around holding your breath. Of course he gets snappy when you ask him for details; he gets you when he wants you, and you have no right to question him because you two aren't "together".
The ball is in your court. You have to decide what you want to happen next, because (apparently) the current arrangement is just fine with him. Find out if he wants to be your man, and stop wasting your time if he doesn't.
The ball is in your court. You have to decide what you want to happen next, because (apparently) the current arrangement is just fine with him. Find out if he wants to be your man, and stop wasting your time if he doesn't.
thanks to all of your inputs. I guess I am just not sure what to do now. I was thinking to just play the no contact game and if he's interested enough he will contact me. However, when we used to go for two or three days not talking we are usually able to pick it back up, whether he's the one starting the conversation again or me.
I agree that as far as I know he sees no point in taking a step further, but I do want to find out if this incidence over the weekend was just my imagination or pmsing. I also agree that he doesn't feel the need to explain anything, but we have been keeping it very open so I know he has no problem telling me when he goes out with his buddies. He is also honest about some crazy things girls would say to him when he goes out with his friends. This is the only reason why I feel like I can trust him. But maybe I shouldn't?
What should I text him? or should I start with email?
I agree that as far as I know he sees no point in taking a step further, but I do want to find out if this incidence over the weekend was just my imagination or pmsing. I also agree that he doesn't feel the need to explain anything, but we have been keeping it very open so I know he has no problem telling me when he goes out with his buddies. He is also honest about some crazy things girls would say to him when he goes out with his friends. This is the only reason why I feel like I can trust him. But maybe I shouldn't?
What should I text him? or should I start with email?
If you have decided you are going to contact him, why not use the phone? There won't be as much room for real or fake misinterpretation.
Something happened at work today and I was extremely depressed so I texted him. Just a harmless one asking which color iPad case I should keep.
He answered my first couple texts very fast but we are only talking about favorite colors now.
I was so good to not text him until today I got a bad news at work.
I have talked to him up front about not wanting to be his rebound and that I want to be at least friends with him. I told him i noT friends with benefits either but he said I am more than that. Also, if I say we are friends in conversation, he will ask me "just friends?" He's definitely been sending me mixed signals. Yes we have sex and He tells me sex is important to him and if two people like each other but they don't have sex then they're no different than friends. Please don't get me wrong, I'm the most conservative person in the world and never would I thought that I'd be involved with a guy who's technically just a friend this way. However, something about him just made me want to give it a shot. He asked me to go to the library and hiking and gave me book suggestions. Although we didn't get the chance to always do all of it, he was able to make me want to take a chance. He tells me he likes me but wants to see how it goes first because he just got out of a relationship when we met in December. Never really called me except for our first time hanging out and until maybe 4 weeks ago.
I thought those were good signs but I think I was too optimistic.
Now we are just making random conversation, should I just disappear again? I want to know what happened or maybe nothing happened, he's probably being himself and happy having someone around and not having to work for it.
Please tell me what to do now? I want to find out why but don't want to confront him...
He answered my first couple texts very fast but we are only talking about favorite colors now.
I was so good to not text him until today I got a bad news at work.
I have talked to him up front about not wanting to be his rebound and that I want to be at least friends with him. I told him i noT friends with benefits either but he said I am more than that. Also, if I say we are friends in conversation, he will ask me "just friends?" He's definitely been sending me mixed signals. Yes we have sex and He tells me sex is important to him and if two people like each other but they don't have sex then they're no different than friends. Please don't get me wrong, I'm the most conservative person in the world and never would I thought that I'd be involved with a guy who's technically just a friend this way. However, something about him just made me want to give it a shot. He asked me to go to the library and hiking and gave me book suggestions. Although we didn't get the chance to always do all of it, he was able to make me want to take a chance. He tells me he likes me but wants to see how it goes first because he just got out of a relationship when we met in December. Never really called me except for our first time hanging out and until maybe 4 weeks ago.
I thought those were good signs but I think I was too optimistic.
Now we are just making random conversation, should I just disappear again? I want to know what happened or maybe nothing happened, he's probably being himself and happy having someone around and not having to work for it.
Please tell me what to do now? I want to find out why but don't want to confront him...
Sister, when a man wants you, he comes after you. You don't have to wait around wondering and hoping. Allow this Gem the space to come after you, and if he doesn't then he was just playing and doesn't want the same things you want.
So we carried on the kinda slow conversation and he told me he's in a coffee shop. I asked him if he wants to be left alone and he said only if u desire to
Then he called. He told me Friday he went out, Saturday went hiking by himself, Sunday he was working and getting ready for "life after the test"
I asked him what's going on bc I haven't heard from him. Now I am calling him back in 15 and I don't know what to say.
Then he called. He told me Friday he went out, Saturday went hiking by himself, Sunday he was working and getting ready for "life after the test"
I asked him what's going on bc I haven't heard from him. Now I am calling him back in 15 and I don't know what to say.
This Gem is my male version! at least before a Leo caught my attetion..but thats a different topic.. I'd say, let this Gemini chase you! we love it when we can't read the other person..take my experience for an example..if a guy likes me a lot and showers me with attention right from the start of the relationship then I lose interest just like that because I don't like being predictable..Geminis are very spontaneous, and we love challenges..try to cut him off for awhile until he chase you..make him see that you can have fun too with your own friends too..
I hope you haven't make the call yet!
I hope you haven't make the call yet!
I called and at first he didn't pick up but within 10 min he called back. I told him I wanted to know what happened to his texts on Sunday (when I asked about his weekend, he asked me why first then said he sounded annoyed because it was because we were texting and he often sounds like that that through texts) He said he didn't remember and that his phone deletes texts. When I told him the full text exchange we had,, he said he was being playful and sarcastic, he also insisted that it was his usual sarcastic self. There have been instances before when I found his sarcastic jokes offensive (ie good girls don't do things like that with me type of jokes). He really insisted that it was nothing to worry about because he was being himself so I just had to let it go otherwise the conversation was not going anywhere.
I said I wanted to give you space and time alone but how come you didn't want to hang out with at all after your test, I said I was thinking that after your test you would have more time to see me but somehow it didn't happen. Then he only answered with "hmm" No defense here, although we didn't make any plans and he has no responsibilities to see me I know, but we were seeing each other weekly since January this year. A little later on in the conversation I asked again about not even wanting to see me this weekend, he just said oh I knew you need to study too- but this one was obviously a weak excuse because he has asked me to study with him in the past like maybe 3 weeks ago.
He said this past Monday and Tuesday he was working long hours at work because he took a week and a half off to study for his test and he has a lot to catch up on. Then he asked if he could call me back in 5 min.
He called again 5 min and at that time he was at his friend's place. Side note, he mentioned he is going to stay at his friend's place in the city. He has been staying at coworker or friend's place in the city because he works in the city and has been wanting to move over. At his friend's place (he calls this friend a buddy so I assumed it was a guy and so far he said he's only been staying at male coworker/friend's place so I think it's ok to assume it's not a girl's house)he told me he was by himself and was going to just relax and from then on he was pretty much not giving full sentences. He sounded like he had his eyes closed trying to relax, which to me it was ok but at the same time I wasn't happy that he wasn't carrying on the conversation at all.
I said I wanted to give you space and time alone but how come you didn't want to hang out with at all after your test, I said I was thinking that after your test you would have more time to see me but somehow it didn't happen. Then he only answered with "hmm" No defense here, although we didn't make any plans and he has no responsibilities to see me I know, but we were seeing each other weekly since January this year. A little later on in the conversation I asked again about not even wanting to see me this weekend, he just said oh I knew you need to study too- but this one was obviously a weak excuse because he has asked me to study with him in the past like maybe 3 weeks ago.
He said this past Monday and Tuesday he was working long hours at work because he took a week and a half off to study for his test and he has a lot to catch up on. Then he asked if he could call me back in 5 min.
He called again 5 min and at that time he was at his friend's place. Side note, he mentioned he is going to stay at his friend's place in the city. He has been staying at coworker or friend's place in the city because he works in the city and has been wanting to move over. At his friend's place (he calls this friend a buddy so I assumed it was a guy and so far he said he's only been staying at male coworker/friend's place so I think it's ok to assume it's not a girl's house)he told me he was by himself and was going to just relax and from then on he was pretty much not giving full sentences. He sounded like he had his eyes closed trying to relax, which to me it was ok but at the same time I wasn't happy that he wasn't carrying on the conversation at all.
This last phone call lasted about 35 min and the last 15 minutes was mostly me talking and him listening, I asked if he was trying to wait for me to hang up. He said he doesn't want to keep me from things so if I wanted to hang up I could, I said I don't mind talking so the conversation or lack thereof from his part went on for another 15 min. I do this with guys I like, I like it when they call me when I'm going to bed and I like to listen to them talk as I fall asleep. This was similar in the sense that he was very soft spoken, not talkative but different in the sense that he didn't sound like he was paying too much attention except for when I said I saw something funny. Only then did he actually ask me and tried to get me to tell him.
Sorry I don't know if all these details will help. I agree with many of you that I should probably just cut him loose. I think I should be able to if I didn't have such a bad day at work and on top of that stressed out from studying for a big test in 3 weeks. I truly believe that he is a good person and will make a good friend (no one has ever given me serious book suggestions, and on our first time hanging out he gave me a book to bring home with) I want to somehow find out what's on his mind without being confrontational. I do want to at least be friends like I always tell him, I just don't think it's possible if I blow up or go crazy start calling him for a direct answer.
My plan is to not contact him until he initiates first, if he does at all. Thanks to everyone's advice, I know truth hurts but I want to know what you all think about this, what I should do, if this deserves a chance or not. Thanks again, I'll keep you posted.
Sorry I don't know if all these details will help. I agree with many of you that I should probably just cut him loose. I think I should be able to if I didn't have such a bad day at work and on top of that stressed out from studying for a big test in 3 weeks. I truly believe that he is a good person and will make a good friend (no one has ever given me serious book suggestions, and on our first time hanging out he gave me a book to bring home with) I want to somehow find out what's on his mind without being confrontational. I do want to at least be friends like I always tell him, I just don't think it's possible if I blow up or go crazy start calling him for a direct answer.
My plan is to not contact him until he initiates first, if he does at all. Thanks to everyone's advice, I know truth hurts but I want to know what you all think about this, what I should do, if this deserves a chance or not. Thanks again, I'll keep you posted.
It's clear that you intend to speak further with him. If that's what you're going to do anyway, then be sure to ask about your future together without using emotion, tears, or accusatory undertones. Keep your questions STRICTLY CEREBRAL if you want to get real answers.
Got a text from him "let's do something. When can you come to the city?"
What to do now? We can only hang out no sex because he's crashing at a friends place there for the next two weeks until after his test.
What to do now? We can only hang out no sex because he's crashing at a friends place there for the next two weeks until after his test.
so I carried on the conversation for a little bit and when he didn't text back I just let him be. At 8pm last night, same day as when he texted saying let's do something, he called and was very cheerful. He said he just signed an apartment near work in the city which is something he's been saying he wants to do, he sold his old car and made some extra cash. Overall he was very upbeat and happy throughout the phone call which lasted about 15 minutes. He also asked me how come I never answered his question about hanging out which was the first text he sent me yesterday morning.
I am going to see this as a friend telling another friend some good news, because obviously he is a social butterfly and this is probably the best mindset for me.
Should I hang out with him this time though? I don't think him asking to hangout this time is enough to say anything about how he feels about me. It does sound like a pure hang out, grab coffee or walk around type of hang out. Or should I not hang out with him? Do I make up an excuse to say I'm busy with others? But don't people say Geminis don't get jealous?
I am going to see this as a friend telling another friend some good news, because obviously he is a social butterfly and this is probably the best mindset for me.
Should I hang out with him this time though? I don't think him asking to hangout this time is enough to say anything about how he feels about me. It does sound like a pure hang out, grab coffee or walk around type of hang out. Or should I not hang out with him? Do I make up an excuse to say I'm busy with others? But don't people say Geminis don't get jealous?
What good can come out of hanging out with a man you want but can't have? The decision is yours, but maybe you should cool it until you're really ok with being only a friend. Sounds like it's going to be really hard on you.
Friday night he texted to ask me what I'm doing on Saturday, I igored it because it was 10:55pm and I usually go to bed early. Saturday morning when I woke up, I found 3 texts.
12:45 am "you're too much"
1:17am "don't understand why you can't text me"
2:57am "ugh. I hate you"
Saturday morning I texted back and said I went to bed early cuz I was tired from work on Friday. He texted back "whatever"
Can someone tell me what is going on in his head?
He knows I go to bed early.
12:45 am "you're too much"
1:17am "don't understand why you can't text me"
2:57am "ugh. I hate you"
Saturday morning I texted back and said I went to bed early cuz I was tired from work on Friday. He texted back "whatever"
Can someone tell me what is going on in his head?
He knows I go to bed early.
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