Seeing a Gemini man, I'm an Aries girl..advice???

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by harue23 on Friday, March 21, 2008 and has 26 replies.
i recently starting seeing a gemini man about a month and half ago. he's 2 years younger than me, keep that in mind. anyway...at the begining, he would call me all the time, text me all the time. just wanting to know what i was doing with my day. i liked it but it was kind of alot to me. i have never really talked to a guy everyday because it gets boring.
he was very verbal at the beginning as well, telling me how he felt about me or that he was thinking about me. i got used to that. now, i hardly talk to him and see him like once a week. one conversation we had, he told me that i seem like the kind of woman that needs a man to treat her well and nothing less. he told me that he really "is feelin me." i told him that i didn't think so because there is another girl that texts him like ALL the time. he got upset when i said that. i am not trying to pin him down because i am not ready to be in a relationship. but the person i am seeing must be there for me when i need him, and when i am hanging out with him, he must give me all his attention and not texting on his phone. that was an issue that was brought up a few days ago. it was put out there that he wants to continue seeing me but doesn't want to jump in a relationship. he wants to get to know me for real before making a decision like that. he says that he wants to continue to see me and for nothing to change. i agreed because i want to know him for real as well. we kinda got into a fuss that night because i was having other issues too. he asked me if i was ending things in the saddest little voice when he told me how he felt. he also said that he has a hard time expressing himself because 1: he's not that type of person and 2: he doesn't know the right words to use.
i have noticed that i have started to get jealous about him. when i call and he doesn't answer or if i text him and he doesn't text back. why am i doing this? i have thought about breaking things off with him based on this fact. is it normal for the gemini man to one day be all lovey-dovey and the next to not call you or anything? sometimes when i will text him and he won't answer it and totally text me with something else. what the heck? help!!!
that's exactly what i didn't want to be. i know i have done that before and i wanted to come off a different way with him. so to avoid coming off that way, i don't call him at all. i let him come around on his own. it's not that i am waiting because i'm not. i just feel that if he calls me, he does. if he doesn't he doesn't. i hang out with my friends and have my own life as well. he gets bothered because of this though.
as far as the jealousy, that it's really the issue. after i said what i said to him about him texting other girls when he's with me, we are past that. i'm not going to talk about it anymore.
stop calling for a while and dont get control of your emotions ...especially with a wishy washy gemini male...he will eventually hurt with the evil twin...its not worth it...im aries female and believe me i know
i mean get in control of your emotions
If you pressure a gemini..just like i have experienced with an aries... or ANY male for that matter... they will do what they do best. Run... & Trust me i know that also...

The more you are in control of yourself - the more you are a challenge to him
The longer you can do this for - the better it is.
Great! More feedback!!! smile
anyway..since the last post things have changed a bit. i am still seeing this gem but i am not so jealous anymore, i am just kinda going with his flow. and yes, he is doing the coming and going thing but i like it because it gives me space. say for instance, i visited him last friday. he texted me the next day just because, then he called me tuesday. i see him calling me in the next few days to see me again. this is how we deal with each other.
i have also noticed that during those "in between days", i guess he is pumping himself up to miss me or something. i stayed a couple of hours with him and fell asleep, when i was ready to leave, he pretty much pinned me down telling me i can't leave. he does this everytime i visit him, he never wants me to go.
next thing, i want to know should i take the gem man seriously about things he says? bad wording, how do i read between the lines with things he says? i happen to be thinking today about a past situation i was in years ago. a guy and i clearly stated we were just having fun and weren't going to get serious. i was totally fine with that. he started wanting me around when he was sick and things like that and i would fake on him because we weren't serious. comes to find out, he fell in love with me. i didn't know because of our agreement.(can't remember what sign he was).
now with this gem man, he will make all kinds of comments. he said he wanted to meet my son to see how my genes look as far as having kids. we were watching a show and i made a comment about it being sad because the guy died and had babies. he asked me what about our babies. then, he keeps talking or bringing up the issue of wanting to move with me in a few months. how do i read between this? when he says things, i don't take them serious. i totally goes over my head, but should i be listening?
i hope things go well too....gemini and aries can be a great match together
I am a gemini woman and had a bad experience with a gemini man. He was just beginning to get close to me but soon, we had some issues and parted ways. We were not even goint out. But he went around publicizing that I madly loved him ( that happeend jsut when i was met my first guy) so he claimed that i liked him too, becoz i was so immature. How stupid.Just be cautious and careful with them. They often claim stuff which may not be true. But I have had other male gemini friends, who have been great. Perhaps it's only in a closer circle that they show their real colors. Geminis like smart people. Maybe i was too little,playful and impatient then, silly compared to way older and patient guy he was. I've observed that most gemini men are very calm and patient on the exterior. So long as you make them feel that you are realy precious, (by showing your talent, wit and everything else that they love about you), they will hold on to you loyally and dearly. The minute they feel superior to you ( most geminis always do actually think great about themselves), but when your actions convince them of that or when they feel they haven't really been happy with you, they ll leave that loose string they were holding on too when you didn't care to care for them properly.
harue23 hows your relationship going with gem guy?
Everything has gotten really better...thanks dward!!!
I think his distance was because of me. I was scared to get in the same situation I came out of with a Cancer guy about 8 months ago. I wasn't really calling this Gem man, just playin it cool. Well...I started to call him more often like he wanted and he has done a total 360!!
We have been together every single day since then (about 2 weeks ago) and he has become more obvious about his feelings. He told me he didn't want a girlfriend as stated in a previous post, now, he says he's ready to be serious with me. He brought up the committment thing. Also, those text messages have stopped completely!!!
He's been very generous and helpful, too. He's been washing my car, buying everything for me, taking care of little errands, bringing me lunch when I can't take one, picking me up from work, and dropping by my job (on occasion) just to see me. It's so cute! Now I feel safe to open myself.
But everything is great as of right now. We get along great. No complaints. It's like we are serious about each other, like the same things, and have so much fun together.
Thanks for asking dward!!! I will definitely update in a few weeks....
i have a gem guy in my life too and have no complaints.....I been with him for over a month and he is one the sweetest guys i have ever met!
I am glad you are being treated the way you deserve!
Keep me posted.
yes emerald i really am
******UPDATE*******
Things as stated before, have gotten really better. He asked me out official last week! He said that he realizes he really needs me and can't let another man have me. He said that I'm his and asked me to be his girlfriend. It was so cute! I felt like I was in school again when a young boy that has a crush on you asks you out.
I guess it has come to almost the 6 month mark and my Gem is talking to me about having babies. He told me a long time ago that he wanted me to be his children's mother. Now that we are actually going out, he is really serious about it and really bringing the issue up. Is this a good thing?
i am glad you guys are getting along...but as far as babies are concern....hmmmmm.....men have the tendency to say that when the sex is good...hee hee....tell him you want to get married first before you have babies and see what he says.
****UPDATE*****
Since my last posting, ALOT has changed. Me and my Gemini guy have moved in together! He cooks alot, I do most of the cleaning. He helps out financially and takes my kid to school every morning so I can make it to work on time.
We've had quite a few arguements and disagreements, a few in which he has yelled. We weren't really seeing eye-to-eye. No, I take that back. We could be feeling the same thing but see it in a different way and it ended up causing agruements.
He told me that if I would have been another girl, he would just leave because he takes no nonsense. He says that the way he feels for me and the person that I am makes him want to talk it out or take a walk instead of walking out of my life.
I get along GREAT with his family, we visit them everyday. It's like another family for me.He is a great role model for my son. His influence has changed my son's stubborn attitude, not by physical influence (no way) but just by him talking to him about issues. He will be a tremendous father.
He also told me for the first time today that he loves me. I never realized how much I really love him until today as well. (He went out of state for about a week to visit family) It's such a trip how things work out. If you read the postings above, you would think that we would have never made it to this point. I'm really happy and grateful that it worked out.
yes....harue i am still involve me my gem as well...we have moved in together and he is pretty much the best man I have ever been involve with.He so sweet and treats me like a queen..... We have had some words as well because he thinks im suppose to be a little submissive...which i am not! (Aries Woman Thang) but ive learned to bare down a little because he has really been patient and loving with me. He is also very good to my children....I hear a lot of woman on this board that say its difficult dealing with a gem guy......it does take a certain woman to keep them happy.....and if they are happy with you they will not cheat on you or keep you in the dark. I am really lucky....harue i am very happy for you. Its nice to hear good things about a relationship!
**** UPDATE ****
It's been close to a year since I have updated my situation...well...
Me and my Gem are still living together, for the most part...he hadn't been working in almost a year and things got hard around here. The bills piling up and everything, I started to become distance and stressed. Our relationship really took it's toll. We were constantly arguing and disagreeing. He threaten to move out numerous times. I'm not sure what happened but...we have gotten through out. We still have disagreements, but he is always the one to initiate speaking again or an apology. I have brought him out of his element because he now wants to get MARRIED! He spoke with my mother and sister, who are HUGE components of my life. He told me that he started pricing engagement rings and looking for the one best for me. He's been buying me a lot of gifts lately and trying to take care of my financial problems. He really wants to eliminate bad things out of my life.
He's become a major aspect in my son's life. Gave my son his first haircut in August, takes him to and from school and really trying to be a father figure. Sometimes that Evil Twin peeks out though. It's crazy, almost bipolar! He would speak on one thing and then start a whole tangent (?) about every other negative thing and then later apologizes and loves me so much. I'm dealing with it though because I love him. We are both two strong signs and it's hard to give the upper hand to each other. I'm really excited to see what happens in the future...
Does this typically happen with Gem man and Aries woman? I mean, I've seriously have considered breaking up with him but the next I love him so much and he seems so sweet. He just told me that he loves me death but then can't stand me for like 2 days when we argue....
Yes, that is normal Gemini man.

One thing you have to know, since you've lived with him for a year .... Gemini's experience exaggerated feelings that have to be expressed to the max.

When they are happy ... they are jubilant
When they are angry .... it is utter fury
When they are sad .... is when deep depressions set in

Certainly, you've noticed by now how emotions for the Gemini get experienced for them to the extreme .... so, this is why when he's happy/content Gemini, he's out looking for wedding rings and when he's unhappy Gemini, he's hiding in his misery.

I'm unclear why Gemini's experience life this way ..... I'm thinking along the angle of something Eric said a couple weeks ago as to the cause.
It's nice to hear a success story for a change smile
Harue, Relax....Eric is another user on the forums (eric11). He seems like a pretty wise man smile He's not a gemini though...
******************UPDATE*************************
So, it's been almost a year since my last posting. Boy, can Aries and Geminis bump heads! I am strong and so is he so the we never want to back down. He says that I have issues with communication. If something is bothering him, he wants to talk about it right then and there. No matter if he is yelling because he feels it is a way to express himself. Me, I rather wait until I am calm and ready to talk. I do want to say something I will regret later. And all his yelling makes me want to fight so I try to just ignore him. We have been trying to get past this because really it is our only problem besides the fact that he feels I should always be ready for sex. So not true! I was working a job that took up my life so I was always tired and he was always ready to go. This caused a damper at one point as well. He feels that it is a priority in a relationship and I feel like it is the least of my worries.
These past few weeks have beeen good though. Giving each other space to do the things that we like individually. It really helps because you then miss that other person. He is still talking about having kids. He's really excited and just waiting for it to happen, though it hasn't.Sad We have always been taking into consider the costs of a wedding and trying to get all of that together. So all in all...we are still truckin' and trying to make things work. I can say that he does not want to walk away from me no matter what...I love him for that....
harue sounds like you and I are going through the same thing....
yay another aries and gemini couple! my gemini boyfriend still makes me melt sometimes smile
Posted by castorandpollux

The generous answer is that our modus operandi is to experience. Cancers like to feel, Virgos like to think, we live to experience everything in its rawness. (unless it's remotely related to negativity and sadness, then, we run :-)) Life for us is one experience after another, the only constant being change. Most people pick up on this aspect of us; the passion & intensity - need to experience everything to the extreme - on the other hand, is hidden under the cool, laid-back exterior and only revealed to those closest to us.
The more honest answer is that we're selfish, self-involved, and think we're great! Everything we experience is either on or off, 100% or zero, and we not only experience these highs and lows, we want everyone that we are close to to experience them with us!


We are extreme, it is so true. But the extremity manifests itself so differently, to lets say the fire of Aries, or a Scorpio I always thought. For me, the extremity is internal. Anxious extremity. Sometimes I feel/think things so much I find it overwhelming, makes me delusional.
When we're excited it's very very obvious.
But as you said, I flee from negativity and sadness.
harue23 one thing i agree with dward417 is once u do get ya emotions in check that's a good sign for us cause we have a tendenacy to let Intellect get the best of our feelings. some female geminians can & have control their emotions more than some males.. and when your stressin & he sees that talk to him about it if he knows himself then he would be who he is & give you advice @ da same time listen to wat u have 2 say... some male geminins can't control their other side I'm jus one of them who can. Just keep being yourself cause most geminis fall for aries as I C it..smile
*******UPDATE********
Wow....it's been almost 5 years since my original post! Alot has changed.
Me and bf no longer live together, it's been about 2 years or so. I found out that he was still in contact with other girls through the first two years. I also found out that he cheated about two years ago because she came to my house to let me know. She was about 7 years younger than me, I guess that's what he likes.
Though I didn't want to forgive him, I did and it was hard. It changed the who dynamics of things. I trusted him 100% at first, then I could trust him going to visit family or friends. It made me so mad because I felt like I was robbed. I was able to relax and just really focus on living someone, now I can't. After then, something changed with him, he broke up with me in Nov 11 because he felt like he was with me so long and unhappy. He said he had no plans of getting back with me. I know maybe about another before he starting seeing someone. I'm not sure how deep it was but he started fighting with me all the time, threatening me in a way like if I don't get it together he was going to leave but never told me what the issue was. This went on until he completely broke up with me Feb 12. It was a week to the day, and he did so by saying that he wanted to talk to me. A week later he started talking to me again, still being cold, but wanting to be all in my business. We decided to try things out again but it never really clicked back. I've had him tell me numerous times that he doesn't think we can be the same way we were before when we were happy. He has lost his passion but I gained back mine when I realized my position in all of this, I was stressed and not giving him attention for a long time. I also didn't think he needed much because he would like to flight for awhile. I've made it a point to tell him how much I love him, tell him I appreciate the things that he does. I've been doing this for the past year or so even if it makes me feel stupid or uncomfortable.
Recently he came to me again with wanting to talk and I felt like it was another set up to break up with me. I'm tired if having this talk every couple if months. I told him a few months ago that if he is not happy, to leave. I am not holding him hostage or captive, I love him dearly but he can keep it moving if he is not happy. All if a sudden he didn't want to have the talk anymore, but I did. He has not taken me on a date in over a year, we do not hang out that much and I do
I did get that call yesterday. So it works, ignore them, they will eventually come around. I guess they really need space.
He asked if he has to call me in order for us to talk, I said no. I feel like we don't need to talk everyday because it gets boring and that's what we've been doing. You end up not having anything to say. His response- man, I love you!!! I knew you were the one!!
So confusing, but so simple. Wow...I guess the challenge is what keeps us both around..._??

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