sudden silence from a gemini man

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by getagrip on Sunday, March 29, 2015 and has 22 replies.
Hey all,
So I've been knowing this gemini guy for many years, and there's always been an incredibly strong attraction between the two of us (and never just physical). Unfortunately we've always been in other relationships and could never really explore this, until now. I have to say he's always been the one keeping in touch, and getting back in touch wanting to date me. That said, the date finally happened, but during/after that he got very quiet and distant. I would start conversations DURING the date and he'd give me short answers and just go back to being quiet... making everything very awkward. A couple of days later I asked him why he went quiet and he said he didn't know how to play it and that instinctively he likes to play it weird. ...What does this even mean? Before the date he would talk to me every single day, we know we get along really well, but after our date he just closed off. My attitude was the same I've always had. I respected his silence so far but I'm not sure how to proceed from here.
I would also be fine knowing that he didn't enjoy it - heck, there's 7 billion of us, these things happen! But all this silence? Don't know what to do with it.
I'm cancer with venus and mercury in gemini. He's gemini, moon in capricorn, venus and mercury in gemini too.
Need some help from other geminis to understand this charming man Winking
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Gemini are attracted to Leos like moths to a flame. He was attracted to your Leo rising. However, he just found out that your felinity is only skin deep...underneath, there is cancer.
He probably didn't feel the attraction (chemistry) he thought he would and is disappointed. I would drop him if I were you, unless he does an U-turn.
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Hmm very interesting...I am Cancer lady myself and recent ex was Gemini, with gem Mercury and Venus. Did you guys have sex that night/was it the first time? How long you guys known each other? trying to get the big pic here...
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yeah we did have sex for the first time and it was very good. known each other for 4 years. He actually contacted me yesterday only to ask me when I'm next in the town he lives in, short chat but nothing too friendly. Now he's back to silence apparently...
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He's probably confused I am a gemini too and if I realize that I feel like I like someone too much sometimes I become aloof. But that usually happens if I have more than one person im talking to and need to think
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Posted by getagrip
Hey all,
So I've been knowing this gemini guy for many years, and there's always been an incredibly strong attraction between the two of us (and never just physical). Unfortunately we've always been in other relationships and could never really explore this, until now. I have to say he's always been the one keeping in touch, and getting back in touch wanting to date me. That said, the date finally happened, but during/after that he got very quiet and distant. I would start conversations DURING the date and he'd give me short answers and just go back to being quiet... making everything very awkward. A couple of days later I asked him why he went quiet and he said he didn't know how to play it and that instinctively he likes to play it weird. ...What does this even mean? Before the date he would talk to me every single day, we know we get along really well, but after our date he just closed off. My attitude was the same I've always had. I respected his silence so far but I'm not sure how to proceed from here.
I would also be fine knowing that he didn't enjoy it - heck, there's 7 billion of us, these things happen! But all this silence? Don't know what to do with it.
I'm cancer with venus and mercury in gemini. He's gemini, moon in capricorn, venus and mercury in gemini too.
Need some help from other geminis to understand this charming man Winking


Well, you guys have a nice compatibly. However, he might be scared of his feelings or overthinking. I get scared of my feelings and want to run sometimes when I have been interested in a person. I need it to move fast and no pressure for me to commit.
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That should have said "I need it to move slow" lol Not fast..
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Posted by getagrip
yeah we did have sex for the first time and it was very good. known each other for 4 years. He actually contacted me yesterday only to ask me when I'm next in the town he lives in, short chat but nothing too friendly. Now he's back to silence apparently...


You two don't live near each other? It was the first date and you had sex with him? If so, you might need to get into his mind vs just his pants. Please take no offense to that, I am saying you will need to engage him into some kind of banter to get him excited and anticipate something. I would tell someone that is trying to get with a Gemini male or female to NOT sleep with them until you have them telling you know they want a commitment.
I could be wrong but I feel if he had sex with you and didn't have the connection that stimulates his mind, he will not be as anxious to reach out.
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Posted by WateryGem
Posted by getagrip
yeah we did have sex for the first time and it was very good. known each other for 4 years. He actually contacted me yesterday only to ask me when I'm next in the town he lives in, short chat but nothing too friendly. Now he's back to silence apparently...


You two don't live near each other? It was the first date and you had sex with him? If so, you might need to get into his mind vs just his pants. Please take no offense to that, I am saying you will need to engage him into some kind of banter to get him excited and anticipate something. I would tell someone that is trying to get with a Gemini male or female to NOT sleep with them until you have them telling you know they want a commitment.
I could be wrong but I feel if he had sex with you and didn't have the connection that stimulates his mind, he will not be as anxious to reach out.
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No offense taken, it does sound a bit weird! It was the first 'official' date, but in the past we met many times in secret and had physical contact but never sex - he was in a relationship back then and we lived closer, now we're apart. However, even then we used to talk for hours, and we still did until our date. He told me many times that he's attracted to me surely because he finds me attractive, but mostly because of our mental connection. To be honest the sex was very much anticipated from both ends and felt like it was long due!
Also we have both agreed many times to take this day by day and go with the flow... Which is why I'm so confused about the whole thing right now.
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Oh actually... we did meet for a drink before when we were both already single, so that might count as a first date. We kissed and from there there was a LOT of communication.
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He sound like a player...google it to find out more, because it sounds so improbable that such a category exists. I never met one.
Maybe he just wants to play the field now that he's out of a relationship, conquering several women (not just physically) before he thinks of settling down again.
I don't FEEL that you put him off, because kissing is important for Gems and he would have realised back then there was no real chemistry.
It's not your fault, but his.
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Posted by getagrip
Hey all,
So I've been knowing this gemini guy for many years, and there's always been an incredibly strong attraction between the two of us (and never just physical). Unfortunately we've always been in other relationships and could never really explore this, until now. I have to say he's always been the one keeping in touch, and getting back in touch wanting to date me. That said, the date finally happened, but during/after that he got very quiet and distant. I would start conversations DURING the date and he'd give me short answers and just go back to being quiet... making everything very awkward. A couple of days later I asked him why he went quiet and he said he didn't know how to play it and that instinctively he likes to play it weird. ...What does this even mean? Before the date he would talk to me every single day, we know we get along really well, but after our date he just closed off. My attitude was the same I've always had. I respected his silence so far but I'm not sure how to proceed from here.
I would also be fine knowing that he didn't enjoy it - heck, there's 7 billion of us, these things happen! But all this silence? Don't know what to do with it.
I'm cancer with venus and mercury in gemini. He's gemini, moon in capricorn, venus and mercury in gemini too.
Need some help from other geminis to understand this charming man Winking


Why do you care? Not only is he rude, he sounds like a loser. Dates should be fun and it doesn't sound like you had any fun.
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Posted by truecap
Posted by getagrip
Hey all,
So I've been knowing this gemini guy for many years, and there's always been an incredibly strong attraction between the two of us (and never just physical). Unfortunately we've always been in other relationships and could never really explore this, until now. I have to say he's always been the one keeping in touch, and getting back in touch wanting to date me. That said, the date finally happened, but during/after that he got very quiet and distant. I would start conversations DURING the date and he'd give me short answers and just go back to being quiet... making everything very awkward. A couple of days later I asked him why he went quiet and he said he didn't know how to play it and that instinctively he likes to play it weird. ...What does this even mean? Before the date he would talk to me every single day, we know we get along really well, but after our date he just closed off. My attitude was the same I've always had. I respected his silence so far but I'm not sure how to proceed from here.
I would also be fine knowing that he didn't enjoy it - heck, there's 7 billion of us, these things happen! But all this silence? Don't know what to do with it.
I'm cancer with venus and mercury in gemini. He's gemini, moon in capricorn, venus and mercury in gemini too.
Need some help from other geminis to understand this charming man Winking


Why do you care? Not only is he rude, he sounds like a loser. Dates should be fun and it doesn't sound like you had any fun.
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You have a good point there, and some of my friends would agree with you. I care because I know that there is something there and the interest has been there for so long - but you're right, he has been rude and that's not a behaviour to have on any date. At least I would have expected a text later telling me he needed time to think, or whatever the cause of the silence is. All of this is just very immature.
Right now I'm torn between confronting him on this now, or waiting a couple weeks until we next see each other and settle everything in person. I really can't stand not having ANY clue on this! And I don't have time for games - I thought we were on the same page, I asked if there was something wrong and he denied the obvious.
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Hmm how old are you guys? How far away did you move? He's very cerebral and probably is analyzing everything...Cap moon will make him very aloof and practical in terms of feelings/relationships.
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A train ride away, and we're in our late twenties. I wrote to him tonight telling him that he needs to talk to me about this otherwise I'm out. It was supposed to be way easier than this and he needs to be a bit more mature about the whole thing.
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We discussed it and apparently he was anxious about the whole thing. It really seems like he is (over)thinking this situation and he's not sure how to communicate with me. I let him know that it's okay if he needs his time, but if we want to take this day by day we really need to know we're on the same page with things. He agreed so let's see how things go from here..
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I hope she will keep us updated!!
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Posted by getagrip
We discussed it and apparently he was anxious about the whole thing. It really seems like he is (over)thinking this situation and he's not sure how to communicate with me. I let him know that it's okay if he needs his time, but if we want to take this day by day we really need to know we're on the same page with things. He agreed so let's see how things go from here..


Maybe he's feeling a little nervous and like you said over thinking, now that it's actually happening. Hopefully it'll work itself out once you are both more comfortable with this new situation.
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Posted by MissGemmi
Posted by getagrip
We discussed it and apparently he was anxious about the whole thing. It really seems like he is (over)thinking this situation and he's not sure how to communicate with me. I let him know that it's okay if he needs his time, but if we want to take this day by day we really need to know we're on the same page with things. He agreed so let's see how things go from here..


I really wonder how this will progress. Keep us updated smile Have you discussed with him what being on 'the same page' means? Have you clearly discussed and pointed out what YOU need from him? Once Cancer and I discussed things and letting things flow its course it only went downhill from there. I hope it works out differently for you!
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Not really, I think pushing him too much will only make him more anxious! I will wait until next time we actually meet in person, and just see how things go (if he talks and is more comfortable having me around) without bringing anything up. For now I just needed him to tell me that he's so quiet because he's worried, and I wanted him to realize that he's not the only one in the picture. I still don't get why he's getting so worried about this... I'm really nice and relaxed with him, and before we met he sounded like the most confident one!
I have the feeling he's not going to be talkative AT ALL from now on either... eep!
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Posted by MadMarchRam
Posted by getagrip
We discussed it and apparently he was anxious about the whole thing. It really seems like he is (over)thinking this situation and he's not sure how to communicate with me. I let him know that it's okay if he needs his time, but if we want to take this day by day we really need to know we're on the same page with things. He agreed so let's see how things go from here..


Maybe he's feeling a little nervous and like you said over thinking, now that it's actually happening. Hopefully it'll work itself out once you are both more comfortable with this new situation.
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I hope so too! He even got anxious about a little silly text I sent him while he was on his way back after our date... I sent it to make things more comfortable and break the silence, but apparently the result was the opposite!
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Posted by MissGemmi

O - O, he has fallen for you and we don't do well then. We are very messy when we fall. Especially if he has other placements in his charts that contradicts his Gemini (talkative) nature when in love.
Then don't put too much emphasise on his quietness. We already feel awkward as it is. It's like a bad dream. You want to say something, but you can't. We can't even stop you when you walk away. There might be some hurt there as well. Have you rejected him somewhere in the beginning or have you taken him for granted (when he was chasing you)?
My cancer has rejected me soooo many times in the beginning, ignored and put me second, third place that when things are ok now, I can't seem to forgive her. Even if we put on a smile and act as if we are naive about things, we see it all and make notes of all the moves you make. We will not tell you we know you've pushed us away or acted like we're not on the top of your list, because we don't want to pressure you into liking us. When one comes to realize that we were for real, it's already too late then. We shut down. Especially if he's in love, likes you a lot, we will feel beaten up.
Not sure if this is the case with him, but there's something bothering him in which his Gemini talkative and optimistic nature has shut down.


No I never rejected him.. I'm too attracted to him to do that! But the messages I sent asking for clarification made him go VERY defensive at the beginning, also because I put it in a very straight forward way (either you talk to me about what's going on, or I'm out). And I've done that for my own sake, really. From there he said things like "if you thought the text you sent me on my way back made me anxious, this is completely on another level"... But I didn't even know that short funny text made him anxious?? JEEZ you guys!
The only aspect in his chart that might contradict his gemini nature is his moon in capricorn... other than that his venus and mercury are in gemini. I've always had the feeling he was talkative with other people, but then when the two of us are face to face, he goes quieter. Before our date he mentioned multiple times that he couldn't believe it was happening, that we were both single, that he could just be with me.. and now this?
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Posted by MissGemmi
So he feels awkward and it might feel intense for him. One thing is for sure. He's in love with you, badllyyy! There's a mental/sentimental breakdown. He wanted it (you) sooo bad, that now that the opportunity has presented itself he doesn't know how to proceed. I'm not sure if he's going to get over it. When Gemini is in that state of mind, we just look at you and can't utter a word.
Straightforward is ok, not bad! We like to know where you stand and what you want for yourself. He's probably quietly trying to figure out why he shut down on you. Which will make him more focused on his inability to talk to you, than actually acting on communication and have his focus on you. There's so much mental/emotional struggle/contradictions within the sentiments of Gemini. Why? I don't know. Instead of us talking about why we shut down, we try to solve it by ourselves and then come out with a smile. This takes a lot of time, sometimes we fail this leaves the other person with big question marks.
If he didn't care or hasn't so much intense feelings for you he wouldn't act so awkward when it comes to communication. Gemini thrive on communication unless there's an internal struggle that blocks it, especially when he has Venus and Mercury in Gemini.
Try to keep it on a light note and stay open. Don't close down yourself.


Ahhh thank you for making things a bit clearer for me, I hope you're right smile I really can't wait for him to relax, because I know how much we could enjoy our time together. But for now I will just let him come to me when he feels like talking... so I'll be quiet like a mouse (which is reaaally hard for me to do!)
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