why??

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by britneybabe26 on Sunday, December 13, 2015 and has 44 replies.
I'm a Gemini and I seem to only attract men who want to hook up and nothing else...its really disappointing...I don't dress slutty, I have a great personality, I'm humble young but don't know why I attract men who I don't want and the ones Ii do want only want sex....sad and lonely because I don't do casual hook ups
aww Sad

I feel your pain. I don't know what it is...I go in with genuine intentions, and the opposite party always has "casual/fling" intentions. I feel the same way as you currently. Two guys I was very and genuinely interested in cut me off cold because I did not give them what they wanted, and I wanted something more. It was very painful, but I keep my eyes focused on the future. I keep my family and friends close. They are my strength. Staying in social environments keeps my spirits high and remind me of the brighter things in life. Good luck. Stay positive. Our time will come.

-Scorpio.
Are you sure they're only after sex? How are you so sure
Posted by Libralula
What does your chart look like?
smile


Sun in Gemini
Moon in Leo
Mercury in taurus
Venus in Aries
Mars in Gemini
Jupiter in Aquarius
Saturn in scorpio
Uranus in Sagittarius
Neptune in Capricorn
Pluto in Scorpio
Lilith in Aries
Ascendant in Taurus




Posted by degenerate_ingenue
aww Sad

I feel your pain. I don't know what it is...I go in with genuine intentions, and the opposite party always has "casual/fling" intentions. I feel the same way as you currently. Two guys I was very and genuinely interested in cut me off cold because I did not give them what they wanted, and I wanted something more. It was very painful, but I keep my eyes focused on the future. I keep my family and friends close. They are my strength. Staying in social environments keeps my spirits high and remind me of the brighter things in life. Good luck. Stay positive. Our time will come.

-Scorpio.


Thank you hun....I understand your situation as well. So true I get those Men too! Sometimes I question myself is it me? I don't deserve love? Karma? All my good girl friends are dating and go to date 4 and I don't ever make it out of date 2 or 3 without it turning into a sex situation with the Men.
Posted by c0mrade
Are you sure they're only after sex? How are you so sure

Well they offer to take me back to their place....or start touching me inappropriately.

Posted by WhiteChocolate
Posted by britneybabe26
I'm a Gemini and I seem to only attract men who want to hook up and nothing else...its really disappointing...I don't dress slutty, I have a great personality, I'm humble young but don't know why I attract men who I don't want and the ones Ii do want only want sex....sad and lonely because I don't do casual hook ups

Welcome to the real world. Hold on...it's a bumpy ride Sad
click to expand

That's depressing....
Posted by narayana
Posted by britneybabe26
I'm a Gemini and I seem to only attract men who want to hook up and nothing else...its really disappointing...I don't dress slutty, I have a great personality, I'm humble young but don't know why I attract men who I don't want and the ones Ii do want only want sex....sad and lonely because I don't do casual hook ups


Same here. And the rejection hurts so bad. I'm currently trying to get over my fwb.
How old are you? Maybe the guys your age are not mature enough for a commitment.
I'm 20 and it feels like maybe we're all just too young.
click to expand

I'm actually 25 and the Men I date are 30 and up...I'm not attracted by guys my age group.
Posted by narayana
Posted by britneybabe26
I'm a Gemini and I seem to only attract men who want to hook up and nothing else...its really disappointing...I don't dress slutty, I have a great personality, I'm humble young but don't know why I attract men who I don't want and the ones Ii do want only want sex....sad and lonely because I don't do casual hook ups


Same here. And the rejection hurts so bad. I'm currently trying to get over my fwb.
How old are you? Maybe the guys your age are not mature enough for a commitment.
I'm 20 and it feels like maybe we're all just too young.
click to expand

Yes it hurts really bad....I'm trying to get over a Cancer man right now because I really liked him but it seems hes only keeping me around mostly likely for a hook up.
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...
Posted by Hemispheres
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...


I don't understand what you mean
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Hemispheres
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...


That's actually bullshit.



Anyway. OP, let's explore a different approach..... Where do you typically find these men? What means are you using to meet men?

I'm also a gem, and I've experienced this once and it does suck. However, more often I experience that MEN are the ones who want to get too serious too fast! I dated guys specifically from 24-30.
click to expand

Most of them I meet through social media with them making the first move.
I have never experienced a man wanted to get serious too fast thou haha
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Hemispheres
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...


That's actually bullshit.



Anyway. OP, let's explore a different approach..... Where do you typically find these men? What means are you using to meet men?

I'm also a gem, and I've experienced this once and it does suck. However, more often I experience that MEN are the ones who want to get too serious too fast! I dated guys specifically from 24-30.

Most of them I meet through social media with them making the first move.
I have never experienced a man wanted to get serious too fast thou haha
click to expand

What type of social media? Tinder?
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Hemispheres
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...


That's actually bullshit.



Anyway. OP, let's explore a different approach..... Where do you typically find these men? What means are you using to meet men?

I'm also a gem, and I've experienced this once and it does suck. However, more often I experience that MEN are the ones who want to get too serious too fast! I dated guys specifically from 24-30.

Most of them I meet through social media with them making the first
move.
I have never experienced a man wanted to get serious too fast thou haha

What type of social media? Tinder?
click to expand


Not Tinder I'm not on that....Facebook and instagram
Posted by Libralula
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by Libralula
What does your chart look like?
smile


Sun in Gemini
Moon in Leo
Mercury in taurus
Venus in Aries
Mars in Gemini
Jupiter in Aquarius
Saturn in scorpio
Uranus in Sagittarius
Neptune in Capricorn
Pluto in Scorpio
Lilith in Aries
Ascendant in Taurus






An Indian astrologer. I forgot his name atm, said that when we we're young, immature, or just not as experienced.. we tend to attract our men like our Mars. Which isn't what we really need..most of the time. We need men like our Jupiter more. And also someone who is good for your Venus, and who can satisfy it.

Mars in Gemini is restless, bored easily, and loves change, excitement and on the lookout for new conquests.


The typical guy you go for may not be good enough for what you really want OP. And I understand how you feel because I used to get hurt then I realized I went for guys like my Mars sign. (My Mars in Leo is in the.3rd house so It also has Mars Gemini energy like you) When I went for guys like my Jupiter/Venus even if it didn't work it was more fulfilling.

Hope that makes a little sense I'm gonna find that video for you though
smile

click to expand


interesting thank yoi
Posted by GreyWiz
I feel really bad for you women. it will get better but only after massive change and upheaval.


OK but I get that it is a hook up culture but that doesn't explain why my friends are dating happily....I mean relationship's still exist.... I am a hopeless romantic maybe that's one of the problems.
Posted by BlowMyMind
... They dont see you as girlfriend material for a specific reason. I dont want to sound insensitive but its reality.

You probably dont take yourself seriously or are overly flirtatious or probably dont give off the impression that you want to settle down.

Hmmm all of them say I'm a cool girl but I'm a too good girl because I don't want to sleep with them. I'm not overly flirtatious I always wait for them to make the first move. So ai don't think its that at all.
Posted by BlowMyMind
Either that or our generation is pathetic as fuck.

People rather have casual flings than to create something actually meaningful and lasting.

Yeah I think I get guys who are looking for something casual..
Posted by littlemegabyte
Every guy that has pursued me on Facebook or Instagram has been a huge fuckboy.

You're right to stay off Tinder and omg.... Don't even try a dating website if you think what you're currently experiencing is bad!

Are you in school? What are your hobbies? I recommend to meet someone through those outlets. That way, the relationship dynamic starts out with commonalities between you two, and it's not all about sex! And you can have meaningful conversation.

Think about it- Facebook and Instagram are so superficial. They don't know YOU, only your photos and men are very visual creatures.

Someone old and very wise gave me this advice and it's so simple. At the beginning of this year, I complained to them about what I saw and definitely what my friends were seeing that "all of relationships seem to be superficial
at my age, everyone just seems to want sex and that's it!" So I pursued a hobby of mine and now I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy who doesn't just want me for sex smile



Thing is the last guy who I met through Instagram took me out was a complete Gentleman, didn't even kiss me after the date then the second date we watched a movie together talked a lot and laughed he still was gentleman like but then things got heated and he wanted to bed me. I said no and he respected that... 5 days after that he tells me he's hurt..I'm thinking why? He feels I sexually rejected him? I am so attracted so him actually but that would have been to quick for me to have sex with him..now we still are in touch but he doesn't really text me much.
Posted by BlowMyMind
Theres nothing wrong with not being sexual or holding back.. To each their own. But if that's how you act then you should probably surround yourself with guys who are also goody-two shoes. Dont waste your time and dont waste other people's.

You seem young or naive.


Don't get me wrong the last guy I felt so much attraction for and did go to bed with him but I only allowed foreplay not penetration...he seemed to respect that but then he said he felt hurt...In don't get it...I'm 25.
Posted by Koniucha
Can you post your circle chart? That gives more info.




I don't know how to do that
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Hemispheres
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...


That's actually bullshit.



Anyway. OP, let's explore a different approach..... Where do you typically find these men? What means are you using to meet men?

I'm also a gem, and I've experienced this once and it does suck. However, more often I experience that MEN are the ones who want to get too serious too fast! I dated guys specifically from 24-30.

Most of them I meet through social media with them making the first
move.
I have never experienced a man wanted to get serious too fast thou haha

What type of social media? Tinder?


Not Tinder I'm not on that....Facebook and instagram
click to expand

Ah ok. My next question is, do you know these guys prior to contact with them on fb/insta? If not, do you have friends in common? If not, how long do you communicate via social media before meeting in person?
Posted by Goldigold
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by Libralula
What does your chart look like?
smile


Sun in Gemini
Moon in Leo
Mercury in taurus
Venus in Aries
Mars in Gemini
Jupiter in Aquarius
Saturn in scorpio
Uranus in Sagittarius
Neptune in Capricorn
Pluto in Scorpio
Lilith in Aries
Ascendant in Taurus

It looks like you have sex appeal whether you want it or not, just stick to your guys and remain classy. The right man will come along. It takes time.


Really? What planets tell you that? Thank you
click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Hemispheres
Cuz Gems are the female whores of the Zodiac...


That's actually bullshit.



Anyway. OP, let's explore a different approach..... Where do you typically find these men? What means are you using to meet men?

I'm also a gem, and I've experienced this once and it does suck. However, more often I experience that MEN are the ones who want to get too serious too fast! I dated guys specifically from 24-30.

Most of them I meet through social media with them making the first
move.
I have never experienced a man wanted to get serious too fast thou haha

What type of social media? Tinder?


Not Tinder I'm not on that....Facebook and instagram

Ah ok. My next question is, do you know these guys prior to contact with them on fb/insta? If not, do you have friends in common? If not, how long do you communicate via social media before meeting in person?
click to expand


No I don't know them before. We talk a while and nothing sexual just normal fun conversations before. The las guy is a Cancer and we still talk we did get intimate but no sex.
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by degenerate_ingenue
aww Sad

I feel your pain. I don't know what it is...I go in with genuine intentions, and the opposite party always has "casual/fling" intentions. I feel the same way as you currently. Two guys I was very and genuinely interested in cut me off cold because I did not give them what they wanted, and I wanted something more. It was very painful, but I keep my eyes focused on the future. I keep my family and friends close. They are my strength. Staying in social environments keeps my spirits high and remind me of the brighter things in life. Good luck. Stay positive. Our time will come.

-Scorpio.


Thank you hun....I understand your situation as well. So true I get those Men too! Sometimes I question myself is it me? I don't deserve love? Karma? All my good girl friends are dating and go to date 4 and I don't ever make it out of date 2 or 3 without it turning into a sex situation with the Men.
click to expand


I feel the same way and have been questioning myself as well.... Quoted you both cause I'm Gem sun and Scorpio rising sign.
But I meet them, they go crazy about me and always tell how lucky the man I get to choose would be, yet they don't try to be that man, why?
It is not cause I get intimate soon, as I have been dating without having sex soon lately :/


Posted by Tete
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by degenerate_ingenue
aww Sad

I feel your pain. I don't know what it is...I go in with genuine intentions, and the opposite party always has "casual/fling" intentions. I feel the same way as you currently. Two guys I was very and genuinely interested in cut me off cold because I did not give them what they wanted, and I wanted something more. It was very painful, but I keep my eyes focused on the future. I keep my family and friends close. They are my strength. Staying
in social environments keeps my spirits high and remind me of the brighter things in life. Good luck. Stay positive. Our time will come.

-Scorpio.


Thank you hun....I understand your situation as well. So true I get those Men too! Sometimes I question myself is it me? I don't deserve love? Karma? All my good girl friends are dating and go to date 4 and I don't ever make it out of date 2 or 3 without it turning into a sex situation with the Men.


I feel the same way and have been questioning myself as well.... Quoted you both cause I'm Gem sun and Scorpio rising sign
.
But I meet them, they go crazy about me and always tell how lucky the man I get to choose would be, yet they don't try to be that man, why?
It is not cause I get intimate soon, as I have been dating without having sex soon lately :/



click to expand


Hmmm maybe its a Gemini thing? Maybe we are too childish? Too playful?
Posted by BlowMyMind
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by BlowMyMind
Theres nothing wrong with not being sexual or holding back.. To each their own. But if that's how you act then you should probably surround yourself with guys who are also goody-two shoes. Dont waste your time and dont waste other people's.

You seem young or naive.


Don't get me wrong the last guy I felt so much attraction for and did go to bed with him but I only allowed foreplay not penetration...he seemed to respect that but then he said he felt hurt...In don't get it
...I'm 25.


Well you're teasing
these men and then you act confused as to why they're dissapointed or annoyed by the outcome.
click to expand


Why did the last dude tell me he was hurt but what I did? I said I wasn't ready but I do want him.
Posted by BlowMyMind
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by BlowMyMind
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by BlowMyMind
Theres nothing wrong with not being sexual or holding back.. To each their own. But if that's how you act then you should probably surround yourself with guys who are also goody-two shoes. Dont waste your time and dont waste other people's.

You seem young or naive.


Don't get me wrong the last guy I felt so much attraction for and did go to bed with him but I only allowed foreplay not penetration...he seemed to respect that but then he said he felt hurt...In don't get it
...I'm 25.


Well you're teasing
these men and then you act confused as to why they're dissapointed or annoyed by the outcome.


Why did the last dude tell me he was hurt but what I did? I said I wasn't ready but I do want him.

You lead him on. That simple.
You want him..? In what sense? Just emotionally and not sexually?
click to expand

Both actually....but I guess I'm scared he only wants me for sex too
Posted by BlowMyMind
I understand the way in which you think and you probably want him to wait because you want to be treated with respect and you probably have other things on your mind that dont relate to sex. But he's going to want to have sex with you. Plain and simple.

Hes attracted to you so he will want to touch you. Its not rocket science.

If these type of guys bother you then date a priest.


I understand what you mean....I need to relax more. I am still in contact with him and it seems he's still attracted to me so I will be different this time of we do meet again.
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by Tete
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by degenerate_ingenue
aww Sad

I feel your pain. I don't know what it is...I go in with genuine intentions, and the opposite party always has "casual/fling" intentions. I feel the same way as you currently. Two guys I was very and genuinely interested in cut me off cold because I did not give them what they wanted, and I wanted something more. It was very painful, but I keep my eyes focused on the future. I keep my family and friends close. They are my strength. Staying
in social environments keeps my spirits high and remind me of the brighter things in life. Good luck. Stay positive. Our time will come.

-Scorpio.


Thank you hun....I understand your situation as well. So true I get those Men too! Sometimes I question myself is it me? I don't deserve love? Karma? All my good girl friends are dating and go to date 4 and I don't ever make it out of date 2 or 3 without it turning into a sex situation with the Men.


I feel the same way and have been questioning myself as well.... Quoted you both cause I'm Gem sun and Scorpio rising sign
.
But I meet them, they go crazy about me and always tell how lucky the man I get to choose would be, yet they don't try to be that man, why?
It is not cause I get intimate soon, as I have been dating without having sex soon lately :/





Hmmm maybe its a Gemini thing? Maybe we are too childish? Too playful?
click to expand

I've thought about it, the playful bit, but I have lots of Virgo on my chart so I tend to be very serious..... Maybe they think we are a bit shallow or superficial? I find myself being emotional distant many times, yet I don't see the point of being otherwise on the early stages when getting to know someone, so honestly I dunno why that keeps happening, hopefully this thread will shed some light on the matter, have you find any explanation from other gems ladies?
Posted by BlowMyMind
.. You dont "need" to do anything you dont want to do.

The main issue is that you tease and hold back. They become annoyed and they probably think you're playing games so they move on.

But they're probably having sex with other women while they're still im contact with you


Wow that's even more sad. I don't want a douchebag. I don't want some guy to just want to win me and then leave either... This is confusing
Posted by backtokemet
OP you have a high maintenance moon

good luck with that =P




My moon in Leo? Hmmm
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by BlowMyMind
I understand the way in which you think and you probably want him to wait because you want to be treated with respect and you probably have other things on your mind that dont relate to sex. But he's going to want to have sex with you. Plain and simple.

Hes attracted to you so he will want to touch you. Its not rocket science.

If these type of guys bother you then date a priest.

Oh come one. So now she has to date a priest because she is sexy and guys want to have sex with her?

A priest will most like want that too. He is only human, after all.

Yea, I think I was failing to see BlowMyMind's point. At first she says "You're a tease, overly flirtatious and promiscuous! No one is taking you seriously because of your behaivors" and then later it was "You are too prude, they aren't interested in you because you aren't willing to connect on a physical level, date a priest!"

Like can this poor girl (OP) win? Lol.
click to expand


I know right! I mean I appreciate the help but then she calls me ditzy?
Posted by backtokemet
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by backtokemet
OP you have a high maintenance moon

good luck with that =P




My moon in Leo? Hmmm

yeah .. we even have a gif for LEO moons for your people



hopefully you didn't take offense because I'd feel terrible Sad
click to expand


On no I'm cool...haha
Imo you are not leading these guys on. It's not about no means no. It's all about yes means yes! These boys need to man up an accept that your in control of your own body. You should be able to jump naked in bed, grind all over their dick, and be able to decide to walk away if you choose.

However this behavior does send the message that you don't know what you want. One moment your all about the d, the next moment your not. This confusing behavior will turn most men off and they'll look for girls who are more straight forward. Don't get sexual with them until you are ready to go all the way. This excludes kissing and other fun activities, how else will you know if there's chemistry? But keep your clothes on!

My suggestion is to ask questions that show you are interested in a long term relationship not a fling. When you are meeting/dating these guys ask them about their past relationships. How long ago were they in a serious relationship? For how long was their longest relationship? Etc.

Not only will you be gleaning valuable information for yourself, it becomes easy to spot the Peter pans aka dudes who bounce from girl to girl without investing emotionally. In addition it sends them the message that you are yourself interested in a long term relationship. If they can't handle these questions they can't handle anything serious with you.

And remember, sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.
Posted by BlowMyMind
Posted by britneybabe26
Posted by littlemegabyte
Posted by Koniucha
Posted by BlowMyMind
I understand the way in which you think and you probably want him to wait because you want to be treated with respect and you probably have other things on your mind that dont relate to sex. But he's going to want to have sex with you. Plain and simple.

Hes attracted to you so he will want to touch you. Its not rocket science.

If these type of guys bother you then date a priest.

Oh come one. So now she has to date a priest because she is sexy and guys want to have sex with her?

A priest will most like want that too. He is only human, after all.

Yea, I think I was failing to see BlowMyMind's point. At first she says "You're a tease, overly flirtatious and promiscuous! No one is taking you seriously because of your behaivors" and then later it was "You are too prude, they aren't interested in you because you aren't willing to connect on a physical level, date a priest!"

Like can this poor girl (OP) win? Lol.


I know right! I mean I appreciate the help but then she calls me ditzy?


I guess it was destructive criticism not constructive criticism.. lol my apologizes, hunny bun.
click to expand


ITS all good. :-))
Posted by LadyNeptune
Imo you are not leading these guys on. It's not about no means no. It's all about yes means yes! These boys need to man up an accept that your in control of your own body. You should be able to jump naked in bed, grind all over their dick, and be able to decide to walk away if you choose.

However this behavior does send the message that you don't know what you want. One moment your all about the d, the next moment your not. This confusing behavior will turn most men off and they'll look for girls who are more straight forward. Don't get sexual with them until you are ready to go all the way. This excludes kissing and other fun activities, how else will you know if there's chemistry? But keep your clothes on!

My suggestion is to ask questions that show you are interested in a long term relationship not a fling. When you are meeting/dating these guys ask them about their past relationships. How long ago were they in a serious relationship? For how long was their longest relationship? Etc.

Not only will you be gleaning valuable information for yourself, it becomes easy to spot the Peter pans aka dudes who bounce from girl to girl without investing emotionally. In addition it sends them the message that you are yourself interested in a long term relationship. If they can't handle these questions they can't handle anything serious with you.

And remember, sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.


Thank you.
Posted by BlowMyMind
Lol your personality is cute as hell.

Sucks that you're having this issue




Thanks hahaha sending hugs
Posted by britneybabe26
I'm a Gemini and I seem to only attract men who want to hook up and nothing else...its really disappointing...I don't dress slutty, I have a great personality, I'm humble young but don't know why I attract men who I don't want and the ones Ii do want only want sex....sad and lonely because I don't do casual hook ups

Because of your style of flirting...
Posted by LittleStar
Posted by BlowMyMind
... They dont see you as girlfriend material for a specific reason. I dont want to sound insensitive but its reality.

You probably dont take yourself seriously or are overly flirtatious or probably dont give off the impression that you want to settle down.

Or most young people are thinking that everyone else is hooking up so they need to as well. It's a never ending circle.

It doesn't really matter what you are projecting personality wise. Your personality is someone's type. The main thing to practice is holding to your own boundaries. Respect yourself and only do the things with your mental and
physical self that you want to do.

Once you have that down you will have a fail proof way of meeting men. You don't need this type of man or that type of man. You will only have one that respects you and doesn't push you out of those boundaries. Without you having to force it on him. And when you have that and chemistry and attraction and communication you are set.

So just learn what you are okay with relationship wise and stick with
it. The right guy will come along at the right time.
click to expand

Thanks
Given the media corruption nowadays, its really no surprise. As a male, i do feel disappointed with current generation male because most of them in their early years only pursue sex. Its good that you get to see their colors. Best is to abstain from sex altogether in a relationship, if he genuinely loves you he wouldn't mind even if there's no sex.

As littlemegabyte has suggesed, dont look for guys on internet or social media, most decent male wont go to these mediums. Try to frequent places like library, church, parks etc. These are places where decent males are found.
Posted by LoveSeeker
Posted by britneybabe26
I'm a Gemini and I seem to only attract men who want to hook up and nothing else...its really disappointing...I don't dress slutty, I have a great personality, I'm humble young but don't know why I attract men who I don't want and the ones Ii do want only want sex....sad and lonely because I don't do casual hook ups

Because of your style of flirting...
click to expand

You don't know my flirting style
Posted by Angmodurian
Given the media corruption nowadays, its really no surprise. As a male, i do feel disappointed with current generation male because most of them in their early years only pursue sex. Its good that you get to see their colors. Best is to abstain from sex altogether in a relationship, if he genuinely loves you he wouldn't mind even if there's no sex.

As littlemegabyte has suggesed, dont look for guys on internet or social media, most decent male wont go to these mediums. Try to frequent places like library, church, parks etc. These are places where decent males are found.

Yeah sometimes I think I am born in the wrong era.
Posted by GreyWiz
I have great news for you guys. kali yuga will end soon. just hold tight.

What does that mean?