and again.......

This topic was created in the Leo forum by R1g0rM0rT1s on Friday, May 11, 2012 and has 51 replies.
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so after the first message from the leo almost 3 weeks ago, to which i haven't responded, this morning i get this:
STILL NO REPLY!!! AM I THAT BAD!!!!
thoughts? bearing in mind i really like this man. i feel instinctively that i should just respond briefly without questions...get him to start a dialogue if that's what he wants. he must want something to have unblocked me to send the first message but he's illusive. hmmmmmm.
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Rig,
I really want to say something but I am a disaster where relationship and associated risk/ crisis management is concerned.
I don't even know if his texts are something to be cheered about or be wary of ?
well, you really like him, even after all that time even when you were dating others, all your posts have an edge of longing for him, so---maybe now is the time ! All I can say is "Good Luck".
But I know as you know too, that Celtic and Seraph will give better advice.
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Wait a min. Rig
Do you want him so you can dump him this time, or what ?
It's so easy to get confused with one's own emotions and underlying motive of one's desires and actions.
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I've been slightly keeping up with your tale. Leos really grab you don't they?
Once they do, it's over, you're never the same. You think they're gone, they come back. And again, no matter what they say they want or don't want, they always come back.
I'm quite enjoying the thrill of it all.
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thanks guys...and thanks WL for liking me despite the stinger, lol.
i strangely don't feel overwhelmed with mixed emotion...or even a sense of urgency to respond. when i do, it will be just a quick one liner that doesn't say very much at all...i need to encourage him to state what it is he wants from me.
shah...no i don't want him back to dump him, i would never do that to anyone. if he proves to me beyond reasonable doubt that he did mean the things he said before his ex reappeared, we'll have something to talk about but if he's just testing the water to see if he can click his fingers and i'll come running, we won't.
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
so after the first message from the leo almost 3 weeks ago, to which i haven't responded, this morning i get this:
STILL NO REPLY!!! AM I THAT BAD!!!!
thoughts? bearing in mind i really like this man. i feel instinctively that i should just respond briefly without questions...get him to start a dialogue if that's what he wants. he must want something to have unblocked me to send the first message but he's illusive. hmmmmmm.


He texted you
He blocked you
He unblocked you
He texted you again
"to get him to start a dialogue if that's what he wants"
As we say around these parts " Girl bye," Seems to me that the Leo has total control of this thing the 2 of you have. If you are ok with that, then go for it.
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Hard to say Rig, re-opening even the tiniest amount of dialog regardless of why its re-opened still sets the pain in my little heart back again with the Aries. However, being a Leo smile, if I thought there was a chance with a person that i wanted I wouldn't let the chance go by, pain or no pain - no fear I'll accept the consequences - its either stupidity or bravery.
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"My" Leo is 10 years younger than me and he is in full control of our situation! It's ok, I like it though... It's one of Aries woman's quirks: we seem to have an internal struggle going on. We want to be in control but secretly long to be taken control of. When we are in control, we lose respect for someone if they let us walk all over them.
Leo has me firmly under his front paw and has kept me there -- to my delight -- for the past 3 and a half years.
@ Rig: high five for not submitting! I suggest still resisting a whe longer before caving. If you give in too easy you will just end up repeating the same cycle over and over again. Keep your power for a while longer. And remember: Leo's love flattery so the "am I really that bad?" might just be a trap for you to respond by stroking his ego by accident.
Just saying...
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Posted by lotuslily
"My" Leo is 10 years younger than me and he is in full control of our situation! It's ok, I like it though... It's one of Aries woman's quirks: we seem to have an internal struggle going on. We want to be in control but secretly long to be taken control of. When we are in control, we lose respect for someone if they let us walk all over them.
Leo has me firmly under his front paw and has kept me there -- to my delight -- for the past 3 and a half years.



Sounds like my situation, but not that far along, I'm 8 years older ;X
Aries as well, ahh crazy
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Posted by SyntheticAnesthetic
Posted by lotuslily
"My" Leo is 10 years younger than me and he is in full control of our situation! It's ok, I like it though... It's one of Aries woman's quirks: we seem to have an internal struggle going on. We want to be in control but secretly long to be taken control of. When we are in control, we lose respect for someone if they let us walk all over them.
Leo has me firmly under his front paw and has kept me there -- to my delight -- for the past 3 and a half years.



Sounds like my situation, but not that far along, I'm 8 years older ;X
Aries as well, ahh crazy
click to expand


Best combo evz! Haha! What a thrill hey? Intense...
He's a bastard for sure, but I'm completely addicted to the effect we have on each other. His words: "we're epic!"
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Posted by WoundedLeo
answer him that he's been very very BAD :-P


omg That would get me right away. In 2.3 seconds I'd be hiding myself in a giant cake in a diamond bikini with burlesque music on their front door waiting for them to answer the door.
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Posted by Nala13
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
so after the first message from the leo almost 3 weeks ago, to which i haven't responded, this morning i get this:
STILL NO REPLY!!! AM I THAT BAD!!!!
thoughts? bearing in mind i really like this man. i feel instinctively that i should just respond briefly without questions...get him to start a dialogue if that's what he wants. he must want something to have unblocked me to send the first message but he's illusive. hmmmmmm.


He texted you
He blocked you
He unblocked you
He texted you again
"to get him to start a dialogue if that's what he wants"
As we say around these parts " Girl bye," Seems to me that the Leo has total control of this thing the 2 of you have. If you are ok with that, then go for it.
click to expand


correction. the leo HAD total control of the 'thing' but i took it back by not responding to him. the reason i want to start a dialogue again is because i want to give him a chance to offer an explanation for the turn of events rather than me demanding answers aggressively, which is not my thang. and neither is control despite being a scorp.
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Posted by sheathedclaws
Posted by WoundedLeo
answer him that he's been very very BAD :-P


omg That would get me right away. In 2.3 seconds I'd be hiding myself in a giant cake in a diamond bikini with burlesque music on their front door waiting for them to answer the door.
click to expand


Lol!
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CL: since his first message, i have had no wound and no associated pain. in alot of ways, it was all i needed to move on anyway but i would rather not having said that cos i want to be with him.
re the control thing, i'm very traditionally minded and believe men and women have very different roles in life and within relationships too. i want to be taken care of cos i've always been the breadwinner, even when married and having been a single mother for almost 5 years, i'm a bit tired of being 'all things to all men'. i'm not looking for a meal ticket by any stretch of the imagination cos i love working, almost to an unhealthy degree....but i want a man i can treat like a king just as long as i get to be queen smile
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
CL: since his first message, i have had no wound and no associated pain. in alot of ways, it was all i needed to move on anyway but i would rather not having said that cos i want to be with him.
re the control thing, i'm very traditionally minded and believe men and women have very different roles in life and within relationships too. i want to be taken care of cos i've always been the breadwinner, even when married and having been a single mother for almost 5 years, i'm a bit tired of being 'all things to all men'. i'm not looking for a meal ticket by any stretch of the imagination cos i love working, almost to an unhealthy degree....but i want a man i can treat like a king just as long as i get to be queen smile



I know exactly what you mean smile I need a man to be the man now! So.... what are you going to reply to him? Or are you going to reply?
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yeah, i'm going to reply. something quite brief. fact is, i've had some serious health issues going on very recently and they're still ongoing and i don't need the stress of him fucking me around, so i'll make brief reference to that so he gets the message. i seriously think if he put me through all that again, it would finish me off and so i'm not going there.
one of the many things that killed my marriage was our inability to resolve arguments. everything tended to be swept under the carpet...from my point of view at least cos i avoid confrontation at all costs. but it inevitably leads to a build up resentment that explodes with volcanic impact and eventually, the relationshp dies cos of it.
so if there's a way forward, we both have to put our cards on the table...no poker faces and no cards concealed up sleeves.
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My advice is "Keep it simple" and make him wonder...
"Hey, what's up?".
Three simple words that acknowledges his message without giving ANY indication on what you really think or feel. 3 little words....and then HIM come up with HIS words...

Then run back here, tell us what he says and we will plan the next stage of strategy Tongue
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bgp: i'm not sure about the three word approach. i'm actually not sure at all what to write....keep staring at a blank screen lol...bit like my day at the office. i think it's best not to write anything just yet. i feel nervous for some reason....almost as if i've become not used to speaking to him and now, i'm not sure i wanna start again.
when in doubt, do nowt smile
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what about this:
hiya i've not been online much cos i've not been well. of course you're bad...that's why i like ya x
i mean that as well cos i still have an underlying suspicion that my feelings for him are based on rejection...know what i mean?
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Ah..if you want to be playful and pretend like nothings go e on them ya..
But u have posted on fb so he will know u been online. Less is more...you dont owe him an explanation. Remember...you reached out months ago with a heart felt letter and he totally ignored you then.
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yep. you're right bgp. back to the drawing board.
btw...if i do meet him, lend us yer panties?? the ass would be good too but transplanting's not an option and i don't have the time for implants, lol.
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Be happy to provide my power panties. Their super powers are imfamous
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what about if i'm just direct about it and say that i just don't know what to say to him...cos that's the truth really and if i started asking questions, i would not know where to stop ian, lol...spanish inquisition via fb not my style .
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
what about if i'm just direct about it and say that i just don't know what to say to him...cos that's the truth really and if i started asking questions, i would not know where to stop ian, lol...spanish inquisition via fb not my style .


That's what I'd do, be direct - the previous message you devised had an explanation of why you didn't contact him, it was almost apologetic sounding and I know you don't feel apologetic! he doesn't need a reason why you didn't reply, to be honest I'd just up and tell him no he hasn't been bad he's been blocking and what the fuck was up with that. Full Stop.
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of course its my directness that caused the Aries to flee in sulkhood in the first place, so maybe don't listen to me smile
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and leave the kisses ending out of any message you send him, he must work for those x's now.
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CL: having been with an aries for a long time, i can say that pretty much everything pisses them off....i've always found them to either be super positive or mega negative.
i'm liking your approach...it's top of the charts right now smile
i like the working for x's part too. kinda like pavlov's dog. after all, men aren't exactly complicated creatures are they.
they're just annoying lol.
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Dont over think it. He may just be wanting to say hello only. Dont give more emotional power to him. You are happy and secure and dont really care what he wants....REMEMBER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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dammit....i'm gonna have to sleep on it. knowing me, i won't reply for quite a while. you're right bgp...his turn to squirm really.
i absolutely HATE my libra moon!!! a feather for every wind that blows, lol. omg, thinking about it...he's got one too!!! WE'RE DOOMED ALREADY!!
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haha with your mind changing on this, Id swear you were a Gemini!!
(Dont kill me for that)
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Posted by BigGirlPanties
Be happy to provide my power panties. Their super powers are imfamous


Are they crotchless?
I think that something so powerful shouldn't be restricted in the crotch.
After driving for 12 hours with my very pregnant Capricorn friend, I'm very shameless and without filter lmao.
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Posted by celticlioness
and leave the kisses ending out of any message you send him, he must work for those x's now.


I love this. It also has a very 'Lioness' air to it. smile
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what about if i just say...'i'm speechless'...cos i am really. don't want to mention health too dramatically and initiate mock sympathy and don't want to create the impression i've forgotten how bad he left me feeling by being remotely playful. i need to indicate very firmly that he's got alot of work to do if he wants to see me again.
CL: i have a gem sister. please don't ever say that again, lol.
so.....it's the WL/CL combo now at the top of the charts. good job i'm not so dithery all the time.
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personally I'd leave any subtlesness out of it, for fear he didn't fully get what I wanted him to hear, hence the disapearing Aries and Libra - I do pay for my directness smile but feel good that they did feel my wrath!
You could probably say something like "i'm not usually lost for words but for some reason at the moment i'm feeling BLOCKED where communicating with you is concerned"
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Posted by celticlioness
personally I'd leave any subtlesness out of it, for fear he didn't fully get what I wanted him to hear, hence the disapearing Aries and Libra - I do pay for my directness smile but feel good that they did feel my wrath!
You could probably say something like "i'm not usually lost for words but for some reason at the moment i'm feeling BLOCKED where communicating with you is concerned"


Priceless,
I particularly liked the emphasis on word-"BLOCKED",
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My dearest roxi....you're giving way too much emotional energy to a situation in which you dont know what his intent and motive is..
STOP!....dont assume amything. Less is more
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When Elle comes and gives thr BIG +1....you know its time to end the discussion and take action.
Ok Roxi bsby....do it! And report back to head quarters asap. We',ll be here waiting
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Posted by seraph
R1g . . . don't make me start typing stuff.
Give *yourself* the attention you need. *Then* you can focus on playing with Big Cats and such.
You *know* you're hot and desirable. You know it because it's truth. You need no one to validate that for you. So for now, until you're comfortable with everything else in your life, that knowledge alone has to suffice.
BGP is right. This is costing you way more energy than necessary.


cheque's in the post seraph. what a nice thing to say smile
actually, today i've had a bit of an incident which has distracted me from deciding what to reply. i had a prematurely senior moment and slipped in the shower. i hurt my arm so badly it made me faint and then cos of various other shizzles going on, i had a seizure. (meanwhile my daughter was sleeping like a baby fortunately, lol) i'm ok now but i think you're right...and bgp...i'm giving him too much energy. i'll just write whatever later on and go back to concentrating on getting better.
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bgp: i agree with elle's +1 and it was a mighty huge one
BUT I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE!!!! Sad
my libra moon is begging for someone to put words in my mouth and where better to get them from but the leo board itself. heeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeee.
then i'll do it and it'll be done
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how about just saying "hi' amd leave it at that! !!
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Great advice from Seraph, (that's the true side of the caring Leo nature Rig) But I think you are in a place where you need to just get answers from this fella, so choose your words wisely, as if they are the wrong ones he may not reply at all and your head will be even more wrecked. Only you really know him so you are the only one that can decide what to say to him, its probably better if it comes straight from your heart and head rather than what we tell you to say. Just sit down and write, if nothing it will be a cleansing experience.
Sorry to hear about your seizure, are you ok?
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yeah, i'm ok but feel a bit like i'm in a parallel universe...disjointed if you know what i mean. i realised i hurt my nose too and so my face hurts but i'm painkiller'd up.
i'm not a wreck over this man though. i was definitely a while ago but not any more. i'm sending this:
i've not been so well lately and to be honest, i was surprised to hear from you again. especially via facebook.
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Just ask him "what exactly do you expect me to say to you?"
I think it sums it up nicely. Short and to the point: what do you want....??? Only a bit harsher...
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what i'm trying to achieve is to draw him out to a face to face meeting and then believe me, he will get it both barrels. if that situation doesn't arise, i wouldn't want to know anyway.
but i need to see the whites of his eyes before unleashing any venom..i need to hear his side of the story first so i don't come off like a raving nutter.
i'm sending what i wrote ^^. then i can relax and watch a movie without thinking about it any more smile
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i just did it. what a fuck up i am cos it sent twice and then i sent another line saying 'i don't know why that sent twice btw' and THAT sent twice as well, LOL. thank god it wasn't long and angsty.
i was looking back at the previous messages between us cos he set up his facebook account to track me down in the first place...they're all really sweet and it was only 2 days before his b-day, the day of his ex's arrival, that they ended.
it's kinda obvious to me what went down now but i still don't like how he didn't just tell me what was going on and just keeping me dangling.
anyway...my head hurts and i'm gonna get some sleep. it's a huge football day tomorrow...'seismic sunday' it's being called. he's gonna be drunk all day. it seems to be the law with british expats whenever there's a football match. hate it.
i shall be watching the spanish F1 grand prix instead and remaining sober as i have class, lol.
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naaaah....babychams are too weak for me. i'll have a stoli boli...stolichnya vodka and bollinger champagne (or cheap cava from lidl LOL...not their rough vodka though).
why did you dredge up this cringeworthy thread bling?!?! i am now cringeing. i am the ninja cringer, lol.
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nah........i just can't bring myself to read it seraph. none of it probably applies any more anyway Big Grin
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leave it to blingy to bump this. you cheeky monkey Winking
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yeah....it's like getting an A*
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Oh god..how I want a tongue in *full lotus position* Tongue
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