Aries Male...Leo Female Dilema
This topic was created in the Leo forum by Iggster on Saturday, April 5, 2014 and has 20 replies.
I posted this on the Aries site but I believe I'll have a better response here from you Leo's.
I figured that I'd jump in feet first since I'm a newbie and this being my first post and all.
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I've read a number of the posts in here and it seems like you people really know what you're talking about with your life experiences and all that. I'm hoping that I can get some of that experience from some of you to help me in my journey.
I met this Leo woman back in December. It was a weird situation to begin with and not your conventional one at that. She moved to Canada from Greece in search of a better life. Considering she came with nothing and had nobody here other than myself, things worked out better than she had hoped for. She was staying at my place and eventually a relationship bloomed between us. She left back for Greece at the end of February. At first she was all gun-ho about coming back to Canada and working on our relationship further. We're trying to keep this relationship going but it's getting more and more difficult as each day passes. The last week or so she's been distant. I've tried bringing up the question of when she's coming back but ignores it and any other questions I ask when she makes some comments.
She's said that she doesn't believe she wants to come back but her words/comments after the fact say differently. I believe she's scared/confused. I want to go to Greece and see her but am worried that it would be a wasted trip. We clicked right from the get go and it was effortless being in a relationship with her.
I'm hoping someone out there can relate or offer some advice that I can't see right now.
I figured that I'd jump in feet first since I'm a newbie and this being my first post and all.
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I've read a number of the posts in here and it seems like you people really know what you're talking about with your life experiences and all that. I'm hoping that I can get some of that experience from some of you to help me in my journey.
I met this Leo woman back in December. It was a weird situation to begin with and not your conventional one at that. She moved to Canada from Greece in search of a better life. Considering she came with nothing and had nobody here other than myself, things worked out better than she had hoped for. She was staying at my place and eventually a relationship bloomed between us. She left back for Greece at the end of February. At first she was all gun-ho about coming back to Canada and working on our relationship further. We're trying to keep this relationship going but it's getting more and more difficult as each day passes. The last week or so she's been distant. I've tried bringing up the question of when she's coming back but ignores it and any other questions I ask when she makes some comments.
She's said that she doesn't believe she wants to come back but her words/comments after the fact say differently. I believe she's scared/confused. I want to go to Greece and see her but am worried that it would be a wasted trip. We clicked right from the get go and it was effortless being in a relationship with her.
I'm hoping someone out there can relate or offer some advice that I can't see right now.
If you love her, want her, go get get her. Leo women love to be loved, and melt at beautiful gestures of love and romance. She's just waiting for you get it already and do something.
Even though she lives half way around the world and is scared to move to Canada?
I've been romantic as can be but lately she hasn't been reciprocating.
There's more to the story than what I mentioned above.
Up until my bday, I was ready to go. She text me happy bday as she was about to sleep.
since then I've been contemplating going or not.
I've been romantic as can be but lately she hasn't been reciprocating.
There's more to the story than what I mentioned above.
Up until my bday, I was ready to go. She text me happy bday as she was about to sleep.
since then I've been contemplating going or not.
Posted by Iggster
Even though she lives half way around the world and is scared to move to Canada?
I've been romantic as can be but lately she hasn't been reciprocating.
There's more to the story than what I mentioned above.
Up until my bday, I was ready to go. She text me happy bday as she was about to sleep.
since then I've been contemplating going or not.
Please clue us in.
Why did she go back to Greece in the first place?
Home sick?
Home sick?
So here it is...
She moved back to Greece because her return ticket was good for only 3 months. She wanted it that way from the beginning just in case things didn't work out here. (I would have done the same plus immigration doesn't clue into what's going on).
Was she home sick? I believe she was. She also wanted to see more people and tie up some loose ends before moving back. (fair enough). She never did tell me what those loose ends were and in all reality, I didn't care. She also wanted to have a farewell party and to say goodbye to her friends/family before she came back.
I found out last week that she told my parents that she was going to come back April 2nd, but didn't want me to know because she wanted it as a surprise. She didn't come. I even questioned her about that and she ignored the question.
Something happened in the last few weeks that has changed her mind and she's done a complete 180. She also wrote me an email last week stating that even though we were together for 3 months that we didn't know each other. She did enjoy her time with me and that while we were together she was very happy. Also me moving to Greece would be a huge step because I would need to go to the army, find a job, worry about healthcare, find a place for us to stay, etc...(All valid points)
She also mentioned that she's not sure if she wants a structured life style .
Just after the email, she also mentioned that while out at the bar listening to a group play, all she could think of was me. The next day she mentioned that she never had a guy fight for her like I was and that she really like it but at the same time was scared. I asked her why, again...no response.
My bday was what really made me reconsider my feelings for her and what do do. The fact that she forgot my bday and to this day still hasn't called pisses me off. She did apologize but still no excuse to miss the bay of the person you like. Since Wednesday she's been silent. I got two words out of her today and when I tried calling her, she never picked up the phone.
I'm at the point where I'm ready to give up and let her be. Her actions are screaming volumes. I'm a bag full of emotions right now. My gut feeling is what I listened to and it has never steered me wrong...until now. Deep down I still want her but not at the expense of my heart. I've never played the game and I don't like it. I've always been a straight up kinda guy, especially after my fight with cancer. Life is too short to
She moved back to Greece because her return ticket was good for only 3 months. She wanted it that way from the beginning just in case things didn't work out here. (I would have done the same plus immigration doesn't clue into what's going on).
Was she home sick? I believe she was. She also wanted to see more people and tie up some loose ends before moving back. (fair enough). She never did tell me what those loose ends were and in all reality, I didn't care. She also wanted to have a farewell party and to say goodbye to her friends/family before she came back.
I found out last week that she told my parents that she was going to come back April 2nd, but didn't want me to know because she wanted it as a surprise. She didn't come. I even questioned her about that and she ignored the question.
Something happened in the last few weeks that has changed her mind and she's done a complete 180. She also wrote me an email last week stating that even though we were together for 3 months that we didn't know each other. She did enjoy her time with me and that while we were together she was very happy. Also me moving to Greece would be a huge step because I would need to go to the army, find a job, worry about healthcare, find a place for us to stay, etc...(All valid points)
She also mentioned that she's not sure if she wants a structured life style .
Just after the email, she also mentioned that while out at the bar listening to a group play, all she could think of was me. The next day she mentioned that she never had a guy fight for her like I was and that she really like it but at the same time was scared. I asked her why, again...no response.
My bday was what really made me reconsider my feelings for her and what do do. The fact that she forgot my bday and to this day still hasn't called pisses me off. She did apologize but still no excuse to miss the bay of the person you like. Since Wednesday she's been silent. I got two words out of her today and when I tried calling her, she never picked up the phone.
I'm at the point where I'm ready to give up and let her be. Her actions are screaming volumes. I'm a bag full of emotions right now. My gut feeling is what I listened to and it has never steered me wrong...until now. Deep down I still want her but not at the expense of my heart. I've never played the game and I don't like it. I've always been a straight up kinda guy, especially after my fight with cancer. Life is too short to
Igg sorry but you are doing way too much talking with a Leo. What I'm trying to say is, sweeping gestures, flying to Greece would be a sweeping gesture.
You want her to move with you and I can almost guarantee she is waiting for you to come and get her before she gives up her entire life for you.
You have to think about it from her point of view. She spent 3 great months with you, she took a chance and she probably doesn't want to be the only one taking chances.
What are you willing to give up in return to have her in Canada?
You see she isn't going to make the sacrifice of losing the life she's grew up in just for the possibility. In her mind maybe 3 months is all there is.
She NEED to know you are just as committed, even more committed than she is or why should she go out on a limb, give up her life on a guy that's sitting at home just waiting for her to make a decision.
You're the man, you decide, you make the decision, you put yourself out there, decide you want her and need her and you're willing to be a damn fool to demonstrate it or just forget it and move on.
You want her to move with you and I can almost guarantee she is waiting for you to come and get her before she gives up her entire life for you.
You have to think about it from her point of view. She spent 3 great months with you, she took a chance and she probably doesn't want to be the only one taking chances.
What are you willing to give up in return to have her in Canada?
You see she isn't going to make the sacrifice of losing the life she's grew up in just for the possibility. In her mind maybe 3 months is all there is.
She NEED to know you are just as committed, even more committed than she is or why should she go out on a limb, give up her life on a guy that's sitting at home just waiting for her to make a decision.
You're the man, you decide, you make the decision, you put yourself out there, decide you want her and need her and you're willing to be a damn fool to demonstrate it or just forget it and move on.
Let's say I do decide to take that trip...
Do I tell her and just show up on her doorstep?
How long do I go for? A week?
What if she's already given up on me?
She's also 27 yrs old and I'm 42. The age is not a problem for me, nor was it for her but maybe her friends changed her mind.
Would me going there to see her be a move of desperation as she so kindly put it a few weeks ago when I mentioned it.
I told her that it would be a risk and not desperation. A risk I was willing to take for the reward that would be great at the end. Not sure if I want to anymore.
Do I tell her and just show up on her doorstep?
How long do I go for? A week?
What if she's already given up on me?
She's also 27 yrs old and I'm 42. The age is not a problem for me, nor was it for her but maybe her friends changed her mind.
Would me going there to see her be a move of desperation as she so kindly put it a few weeks ago when I mentioned it.
I told her that it would be a risk and not desperation. A risk I was willing to take for the reward that would be great at the end. Not sure if I want to anymore.
But that's the thing as well. I've been doing all the talking and she's been listening and ignoring.
I try to bring up serious conversations and she doesn't reply but she'll talk about everything else under the sun.
She didn't plan on having a relationship, it just happened. She believed she filled a void.
She forgot my bday and didn't call me to say apologize.
I try to bring up serious conversations and she doesn't reply but she'll talk about everything else under the sun.
She didn't plan on having a relationship, it just happened. She believed she filled a void.
She forgot my bday and didn't call me to say apologize.
Well Igg there is a 15 year age gap, lighten up a bit...
I don't see anything wrong with you visiting her but truly it's your decision.
But at the end of the day If you truly feel she's disinterested then if course think about what's in your best interest and go from there.
If going to Greece is out of the question, if her coming back to Canada is out of the question then consider giving Ms.Greece a time out so you can get some balance emotionally/mentally and maybe pick back up later if the opportunity presents itself.
I don't see anything wrong with you visiting her but truly it's your decision.
But at the end of the day If you truly feel she's disinterested then if course think about what's in your best interest and go from there.
If going to Greece is out of the question, if her coming back to Canada is out of the question then consider giving Ms.Greece a time out so you can get some balance emotionally/mentally and maybe pick back up later if the opportunity presents itself.
I have no idea about moons and signs and what not. Only recently have I been reading into it.
You make valid points and she did mention that she doesn't know me that well and isn't sure if we can continue on.
I don't want to be a burden and I was thinking if holding back a bit snd see what happens. She's a great girl and I don't want to lose her friendship either.
You make valid points and she did mention that she doesn't know me that well and isn't sure if we can continue on.
I don't want to be a burden and I was thinking if holding back a bit snd see what happens. She's a great girl and I don't want to lose her friendship either.
I also have a number of things to tell her that I haven't had a chance to do so yet.
Do I spill my heart (desperate act/a need to let her know) or wait till the time is right and the opportunity shows itself?
Do I spill my heart (desperate act/a need to let her know) or wait till the time is right and the opportunity shows itself?
Igg at 42 anything you attempt will most likely appear to her as desperate but truth be told you are not desperate, least nothing you've stated here indicates it.
What happens is you're in a different age category, she's at an age where the things you're doing isn't on her radar, plus the age gap can create tension because frankly she's not as mature as you are (yet).
Also she's like a lot of 27 year old women, her clock isn't ticking, there is no hurry, she most likely has plethora of options and on top of that she may still be trying to figure out what she wants and who she is first before committing to someone.
You can remain friends but don't hold your breath too long, eventually you'll have to move on from this beautiful idea of having a serious relationship with her, maybe pick up somewhere later down the line if it's possible.
As for telling her a number of the things going on with you, don't, she's not open to it, keep it short when you do speak with her as to not appear too needy. For what it's worth I don't sense you're needy but when you give too much of yourself which includes too much information you can definitely send out needy energy.
She didn't call you on your birthday, pick up the hint, give her what she desires, a shallow kind of connection for now.
For example minimize her time down to what she can handle, if she can only handle 5 minutes, well give her the best 4 minutes of her life and then move on with your life until you speak again, Leo's can play a lot of cat and mouse games/interactions, nothing personal, just the nature of the beast...
What happens is you're in a different age category, she's at an age where the things you're doing isn't on her radar, plus the age gap can create tension because frankly she's not as mature as you are (yet).
Also she's like a lot of 27 year old women, her clock isn't ticking, there is no hurry, she most likely has plethora of options and on top of that she may still be trying to figure out what she wants and who she is first before committing to someone.
You can remain friends but don't hold your breath too long, eventually you'll have to move on from this beautiful idea of having a serious relationship with her, maybe pick up somewhere later down the line if it's possible.
As for telling her a number of the things going on with you, don't, she's not open to it, keep it short when you do speak with her as to not appear too needy. For what it's worth I don't sense you're needy but when you give too much of yourself which includes too much information you can definitely send out needy energy.
She didn't call you on your birthday, pick up the hint, give her what she desires, a shallow kind of connection for now.
For example minimize her time down to what she can handle, if she can only handle 5 minutes, well give her the best 4 minutes of her life and then move on with your life until you speak again, Leo's can play a lot of cat and mouse games/interactions, nothing personal, just the nature of the beast...
The only thing that might come off as desperate is the fact that I told her my true feelings for her almost 2 weeks ago. And that was that I was falling in love with her.
I hear what you're saying with the age difference and that has also crossed my mind. The fact of the matter is that to me, it doesn't bother me one bit.
I'm thinking of just letting things play out as they will. One of these days or weeks I will ask her what she wants me to do with her belongings that she left behind thinking that she would return.
Playing games is not my thing because I become sarcastic and brutally honest. It's just who I am but I'll try and play nice.
I'm still not messaging her first though. I'm just curious as to how much longer she'll be silent. I'm giving her another day or two tops. (I'll let you know what happens)
Tiki and Jynja, you ladies have been helpful and have given me some insight as well and I really appreciate it!!
Seeing that you both are Leo females, what traits do you have that might give me some more insight as to what she's like and what not.
Cheers
I hear what you're saying with the age difference and that has also crossed my mind. The fact of the matter is that to me, it doesn't bother me one bit.
I'm thinking of just letting things play out as they will. One of these days or weeks I will ask her what she wants me to do with her belongings that she left behind thinking that she would return.
Playing games is not my thing because I become sarcastic and brutally honest. It's just who I am but I'll try and play nice.
I'm still not messaging her first though. I'm just curious as to how much longer she'll be silent. I'm giving her another day or two tops. (I'll let you know what happens)
Tiki and Jynja, you ladies have been helpful and have given me some insight as well and I really appreciate it!!
Seeing that you both are Leo females, what traits do you have that might give me some more insight as to what she's like and what not.
Cheers
Nothing wrong with telling her your true feelings, that in my humble opinion is not desperate behavior but what can come across as desperate energy is trying to make it work when you clearly sense that she's not open nor allowing herself to be vulnerable.
The age difference may not bother you but it may be a contributing factor for her being distant.
6 to 8 weeks is a generous amount of time to keep her things. You could always give it away to Goodwill/a charity of some sort and/or throw it away but whatever you do do not allow her to take up woman space in your place for too long--6 months is too long.
If she doesn't reach out to you in a couple of weeks (especially if you reach the 8 weeks mark) then you can be sure it's done and it's over and then you can decide how to proceed with getting rid of her things.
As for playing games, well I wouldn't call it a game, least not the kind of game where it involves intentionally hurting the other person, it's just the nature of some Leo's, they have the nature of a cat/lion, they like a little play in their interactions, it's harmless for the most part.
I'm an Aquarius. My moms a Leo, brother Leo, aunt's Leo's, basically I'm surrounded by Leo's.
Leo women are good nature'd, I find July Leo's are the true astrological make-up of the positive traits of a Leo--fun, giving, sentimental, happy, easy going, tad tempermental, lovable, irrisistable.
August Leo's are a bit darker by nature, they initially come across happy, sunny etc but they brood on the inside--the same can be said about Leo's on the cusp of virgo, they don't consistently seem happy and at peace with themselves, can be oblivious to others feelings, a bit more selfish etc least that's been my experience with August Leo's friends and family..
Igg Go here...http://www.adze.com/VenusFiles/
This is a romantic compatibility chart, to be clear I'm not able to decipher how to read charts but this particular chart reading will get your names, place of birth and tell you how compatible you are together and the pitfalls you may encounter with one another.
They ask for date of birth--month/day/year. Also they have an advanced tab for time of birth, this is optional, if you know the time of your birth and her time of birth then enter it. If you don't know the time of birth skip it or if you know your time of birth--enter it and then enter 12pm for your leo, the reading should still be mainly accurate.
Hopefully this helps, good luck
The age difference may not bother you but it may be a contributing factor for her being distant.
6 to 8 weeks is a generous amount of time to keep her things. You could always give it away to Goodwill/a charity of some sort and/or throw it away but whatever you do do not allow her to take up woman space in your place for too long--6 months is too long.
If she doesn't reach out to you in a couple of weeks (especially if you reach the 8 weeks mark) then you can be sure it's done and it's over and then you can decide how to proceed with getting rid of her things.
As for playing games, well I wouldn't call it a game, least not the kind of game where it involves intentionally hurting the other person, it's just the nature of some Leo's, they have the nature of a cat/lion, they like a little play in their interactions, it's harmless for the most part.
I'm an Aquarius. My moms a Leo, brother Leo, aunt's Leo's, basically I'm surrounded by Leo's.
Leo women are good nature'd, I find July Leo's are the true astrological make-up of the positive traits of a Leo--fun, giving, sentimental, happy, easy going, tad tempermental, lovable, irrisistable.
August Leo's are a bit darker by nature, they initially come across happy, sunny etc but they brood on the inside--the same can be said about Leo's on the cusp of virgo, they don't consistently seem happy and at peace with themselves, can be oblivious to others feelings, a bit more selfish etc least that's been my experience with August Leo's friends and family..
Igg Go here...http://www.adze.com/VenusFiles/
This is a romantic compatibility chart, to be clear I'm not able to decipher how to read charts but this particular chart reading will get your names, place of birth and tell you how compatible you are together and the pitfalls you may encounter with one another.
They ask for date of birth--month/day/year. Also they have an advanced tab for time of birth, this is optional, if you know the time of your birth and her time of birth then enter it. If you don't know the time of birth skip it or if you know your time of birth--enter it and then enter 12pm for your leo, the reading should still be mainly accurate.
Hopefully this helps, good luck
She messaged me this morning and wants to talk to me. This should be an interesting conversation...
Posted by Iggster
She messaged me this morning and wants to talk to me. This should be an interesting conversation...
let us know how it goes - u might get some answers
*fingers crossed*
Update......
So the talk hasn't happened yet. She was supposed to call me yesterday but nothing yet.
My patience is wearing thin to be honest. She has time to post on FB yet no time to call me or message me?
I'm ready to book my ticket to the Bahamas instead of Greece. At least I know I'll have fun doen south.
I'll keep you all posted.....
So the talk hasn't happened yet. She was supposed to call me yesterday but nothing yet.
My patience is wearing thin to be honest. She has time to post on FB yet no time to call me or message me?
I'm ready to book my ticket to the Bahamas instead of Greece. At least I know I'll have fun doen south.
I'll keep you all posted.....
Posted by Iggster
Update......
So the talk hasn't happened yet. She was supposed to call me yesterday but nothing yet.
My patience is wearing thin to be honest. She has time to post on FB yet no time to call me or message me?
I'm ready to book my ticket to the Bahamas instead of Greece. At least I know I'll have fun doen south.
I'll keep you all posted.....
I think it's kind of apparent, her feelings seem to be those of uninterested feelings. No matter what games leo women play, when we want you you will know it. Point blank. She wouldn't go on this long trying to get you to chase her, because any big gesture would make her feel horrible if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. Personally, I'm afraid of hurting people's feelings so I will just not be attentive to you and not act too interested...I'd also just say I'm not into it. Which is harder than it seems and from what you've said it seems like that's what she tried to say. She doesn't think it'll work means she doesn't think it will work lol...
And ya..maybe you don't care but it's a lot to make that age gap work. It doesn't mean she's not mature she's just looking for something else. Relationships are also about growing together, it's hard to do that with someone who has already experienced what she will eventually go through.
Ok, but how would I do that? Never done the chart thing before...
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