**Asexual** Leo --- How to Get him to Talk?!

This topic was created in the Leo forum by luckystar007 on Thursday, May 17, 2012 and has 78 replies.
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Just met him online a couple of weeks ago. He contacted me first, "I am an Asexual man, it will take time but I hope you be my friend.Hugs and Kisses." He got my attention by being unique "Asexual" Leo (+very handsome)...Winking
Then I started asking him some questions about himself, but he always picked easy questions to answer and skipped the rest. I got mad, so I told him if he was playing games with me, then I will be OFF since I have NO patient for games. He replied, "I'm sorry if I seemed shallow I would love to get to know you.Your friend. Hugs and Kisses." Honestly, I don't think he needs to play game since he never wants sex at all as an asexual man.
However, he still does the same..."ignore some of my questions"...his acting is NOT like a LEO? Why he is NOT open to talk??? Every time when I stop responding, he would send me a "greeting" message..."Hello how is my lucky star..."
I told him that I want him to be my "brother", he replied "more than any thing els I would like to be your asexual boy friend other than your brother.you look very cute and nice if you would like my phone number just ask me." He also repeated a few times about "I want you to know I think you are very cute and pretty and would love to be your life partner if I lived in your city..." We live at least 3000 miles apart.
I got very confused by him. What does "life partner" mean exactly from a Leo's mouth??? Is that a kind of "commitment"??? So far, all of our contacts are just online...maybe we will meet in person later. How does he know "he would love to be my life partner" without seeing me??? All his talking is just sweet BS??? Why does he keep doing that???
He became a mystery for me, I really want to explore such a mystery, I would like to keep him as a brother or platonic lover Tongue......but don't know how to make him open to talk???
Any suggestion would be appreciated!!! smile
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It's only been a couple of weeks - of course he's not open yet.
Leos are loyal partners.
You're forcing the Lion's mouth open. Too demanding. Not every Leo is an open book. Personally I know I appear to be, but truthfully that's an image I've worked hard for. I'm warm, liberal, and open minded - but I value my privacy, internal thoughts, and secrets far too much to open up on many things.
You're accusing him of playing games when he's probably not even the type to dream of it. Accusing a Leo and demanding is a quick way to become ignored.
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Seraph, some individuals are born asexual; why do you seem to demean the matter and mock it as though it is a 'choice'?
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Posted by seraph
If he's asexual but pulling it to porn, for example, then he's being quite disingenuous, even though the OP might be perfectly fine with that because she might be getting what she wants anyway (platonic relationship.)
The point is that even a harmless deception, is still deception. I'd advise the OP to dig a little deeper.


But how to "dig" him.......I don't know how to open his mouth to talk more about himself??????????
I just assume he is a real Asexual.........pls stop laughing, seraph, just give me some useful suggestion...Big Grin
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Posted by sheathedclaws
It's only been a couple of weeks - of course he's not open yet.
Leos are loyal partners.
You're forcing the Lion's mouth open. Too demanding. Not every Leo is an open book. Personally I know I appear to be, but truthfully that's an image I've worked hard for. I'm warm, liberal, and open minded - but I value my privacy, internal thoughts, and secrets far too much to open up on many things.
You're accusing him of playing games when he's probably not even the type to dream of it. Accusing a Leo and demanding is a quick way to become ignored.


I don't think I did force him...I guess he is not very confident to talk honestly...but he is good at giving sweet BS Tongue
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I am "impatient" Sag........it is a big challenge for me to be patient...Sad
If there is only way...then I have to do for a good reason.......Winking
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OMG!!! sorry but i couldn't read the entire thread for laughing. wtf is asexual??!!!??? (it's ok...i have a degree in microbiology so i do know the term really). but ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW???????
a male human with a dick claiming to be ASEXUAL??? wait....does he have one?
and WTF is an 'asexual boyfriend' when he's at home? omg woman....you need your head read!! that is the best ever opener...hi, i am an asexual man....LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZ.
if he's asexual, why is he trawling for women online?
tell him to go fuck himself....maybe that's his preference!!
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
OMG!!! sorry but i couldn't read the entire thread for laughing. wtf is asexual??!!!??? (it's ok...i have a degree in microbiology so i do know the term really). but ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW???????
a male human with a dick claiming to be ASEXUAL??? wait....does he have one?
and WTF is an 'asexual boyfriend' when he's at home? omg woman....you need your head read!! that is the best ever opener...hi, i am an asexual man....LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZ.
if he's asexual, why is he trawling for women online?
tell him to go fuck himself....maybe that's his preference!!


LOL........I can see your points...Winking
but I am interested in some uniqueness Tongue.........I guess. I never heard the word "asexual" before, and I did some research about it...there are some asexual ppl on the earth......NO sexual desire.......interesting kind of humans.
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Indulge my presumptions here... but...
If he is indeed a genuine asexual being - without all that need for sex clouding up his pretty little male mind - he'd PROBABLY have a whole lot more interests than looking online for women to befriend (like Rigormortis said).
If you are actually buying into his BS... best of luck to you. It's not uniqueness, it's an angle. I'd be stunned if Seraph's synopsis up there wasn't the exact thing going on here. Absolutely stunned.
But hey - I've come across some real pieces of work in online dating. So perhaps I'm just being jaded. hahaha
Good luck!
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asexual males have generally been castrated lucky....like eunuchs in a harem. otherwise i would imagine it to be some kind of brain dysfunction issue perhaps...in all seriousness.
one thing though...what on earth is a platonic lover??
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Well, I'm also not one to conform to gender binary or sexual classification.
However for me it still stands; I have family members of the sort. But this is absolutely not the thread to discuss gender and sexuality beliefs.
I do hope he isn't being untruthful for your sake. You'll learn about him through time.
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
asexual males have generally been castrated lucky....like eunuchs in a harem. otherwise i would imagine it to be some kind of brain dysfunction issue perhaps...in all seriousness.
one thing though...what on earth is a platonic lover??


relationship without sex. just love. when I tell my best friend that I love him, it is implied that the love is platonic (because it's been discussed).
And yes, it is a brain dysfunction and also can develop from traumatic experiences. That's how I meant it when originally speaking to Seraph.
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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
asexual males have generally been castrated lucky....like eunuchs in a harem. otherwise i would imagine it to be some kind of brain dysfunction issue perhaps...in all seriousness.
one thing though...what on earth is a platonic lover??


Should I ask him to send me his "naked" picture??????????? Tongue I won't...Big Grin
"platonic lover" is just "platonic friend"...which means "NO sex involved friendship"...good for a long distance relationship.
I got more interested in him...when he said "I'm very proud to be an asexual..."
So for my purpose, I don't care about his physical part......missing or not.......Winking
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whatever that is real. Not everyone needs sex to have a romantic relationship. geez.
If this guy is lying or not who knows but that does exist.
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Posted by TaurusManUk
I meant the guy had more bull shit in him than the whole damn Dairy Farms Cows and Bulls in England Tongue


Guys always like BS, are they??? so it doesn't matter the BS from USA or from England...Winking
however, I want to find out what's wrong with him.......very curious...Tongue
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Posted by TaurusManUk
Posted by sheathedclaws
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
asexual males have generally been castrated lucky....like eunuchs in a harem. otherwise i would imagine it to be some kind of brain dysfunction issue perhaps...in all seriousness.
one thing though...what on earth is a platonic lover??


relationship without sex. just love. when I tell my best friend that I love him, it is implied that the love is platonic (because it's been discussed).
And yes, it is a brain dysfunction and also can develop from traumatic experiences. That's how I meant it when originally speaking to Seraph.


Also had to just question or query but can't best friends accidentally 'fall in love' with one another and then 'progress physically further'. I mean whats the difference between 'friends with benefits' and that of 'boy friend/ girl friend dynamic'? I may be naive but doesn't FWB generally lead on as a precursor to a 'full on relationship' if there is more than physical pleasures keeping those two coming back to one another.
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Uh sure, duh. I'm marrying my best friend of 15 years. The friend I'm referring to in the prior example was merely given to answer her fucking question. So why push the matter? Seriously? All I said was that I loved my friend very deeply without romantic or sexual nature.
And no, FWB is FWB. If I'm FWB then I'm just fooling around for convenience, fun, and decent company. I'm not ever romantically interested with any FWB I've ever had.
There is a huge difference.
I think you're naive in this situation, period.
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@ sheathedclaws..."So why push the matter? Seriously?"
I didn't push... but I was annoyed by his "sweet" BS...
So I am wondering if he dare to contact & keep BS on me, why dare NOT to talk about himself---"how/why" he became asexual---that's all I want to know in such situation.
Wish he can open to talk...before I lost all my interest & patience...Winking
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Sure, I am really interested in what I am going to find out.........Tongue
I have never seen a Leo can be such a chicken!!!!!!!!!! He is much different than my Leo neighbor...I wish he would be my neighbor...someday...Winking
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Posted by luckystar007
@ sheathedclaws..."So why push the matter? Seriously?"
I didn't push... but I was annoyed by his "sweet" BS...
So I am wondering if he dare to contact & keep BS on me, why dare NOT to talk about himself---"how/why" he became asexual---that's all I want to know in such situation.
Wish he can open to talk...before I lost all my interest & patience...Winking


WOW, Lucky - I wasn't implying that body of text to you! It was in response to TaurusMan.
And honestly it's probably either from trauma or he was born with that 'programming' in his brain. There's not really a set reason to ask him how or why.
I hate how people are told or expected to explain their sexual orientation. It's absolutely nobody's business but their own, and those they openly CHOOSE to tell. It's like people feel like they have the right to know - ugh...
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I have a funny feeling about this. I think dude is married. By stating he is asexual you are not expected to talk about sex. I think this is his way of not committing adultery. He knows that neither of you will travel 3000 miles only to go to the movies. You have zero chance of ever meeting. Thats why he said it. I suspect he is not answering your questions to avoid entrapment. This "mystery" is pretty easy to solve.... next time you talk to him and he asks you what you are doing tell him you are touching yourself. His response should answer most if not all of the questions you have. He should be shocked. If he starts asking you what you are doing wanting to know specifics then you know the deal. If he is lying you should block him asap. I know you said you dont care but really you should. It is the equivalent of a heterosexual person pretending to be homosexual. I do believe there are asexual men in this world. I dont think they would use the term boyfriend. I really hope I am wrong about him. I can imagine it would be difficult to find other asexuals. I understand why you would be excited.
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OMG.....excited about meeting an asexual man????!!!???
if i were going out with someone and he announced he was asexual, i would be DEVASTATED!!!
i don't get the attraction unless it's just pure curiosity and to be honest, you make the guy sound like he's a test case you're reviewing.
people shouldn't have to defend their sexuality or justify it but when they introduce themselves along the lines of 'hi! i'm asexual'....they're kinda asking for it aren't they??
that's the biggest red flag for me. it's not like the guy is acceptably gay or anything...he's not into sex at all and so i don't understand why he includes that information in an online introduction to someone 3000 miles away.
it makes absolutely no sense.
and i queried the term platonic 'lover' for the use of lover...the two words just do not go together at all. you can only every have platonic friendships.
i like nala's advice...say you're touching yourself and see what he says.
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yeah...my friend used to tell girls he was a gynaecologist or a masseur as an intro..he and another guy friend had some business cards made, their 'company' was called called 'orgasms 'r' us', LOL. i think it's fair to say a single guy will say just about anything for effect and the thing about being asexual is that he might be laying down the gauntlet to women to 'turn' him back to 'normal', lol. if that's his game, i think it is a rather cunning plan LOL.
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I've lost some respect for certain individuals here, hm.
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I got more attention from you guys... Winking Thank you for all your thoughts! smile
I am trying to figure out why he became asexual...I believe everything has its reason. I did some research... Asexual can be real but not evil...1% of adults are asexual. I don't think he is using "asexual" to attract a non-asexual woman...make NO sense at all.
He is single, never married, he said he is looking for a life partner...has a good job, and some special hobbies...seem like a normal nice guy with good-looking & smart head. That's all I know.
So far, nobody really answered my questions from my OP......you are more focusing on "sex" too much......why???
As a Sag, I have lots of interests..."sex" is not a big deal to me (I can get it anytime I want and from any guy I want). The ONLY condition for me to make REAL friends is if the person can be HONEST with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am interested in the asexual Leo...just because I feel "safe" to deal with him......so I want/need to verify if he is a real asexual. If so, I will keep him. If not, I will dump him. Sag girls can attract all men around us...so I don't need to find a sexual man from 3000 miles away.
I guess only thing I can do is to wait...until he is open to talk the real thing honestly rather than just BS. I have NO reason to hurry...Tongue
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I had thrown many questions to him.......poor Leo, I probably killed his ego down to hell by my honesty Sag nature...Winking
So I would like to give him enough time to recover his ego...LOL Tongue
And sure, I will be very "vigilant" about the matter!!! Thank you for all your warning... Big Grin
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we'll i've never encountered an asexual person in my life and neither i imagine, has anyone else here and so i don't know what kind of answers you could've been looking for cos i for one would have no clue how to define what a 'real' asexual person is like.
one thing that strikes me as odd is that you refer to him as having 'become' asexual....like someone becomes a christian. it's a known fact that people don't 'become' homosexuals...they are born as they are and yet most still have a hard time being accepted without being defined by their sexuality. but an asexual person....a born again asexual at that...hmmm...very weird.
is he a virgin? does he get erections? what is it that makes him think he's asexual. why don't you ask him these questions yourself? i mean he's announced his sexuality (or lack of it) to you and so it's natural for you to enquire isn't it?

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and as for the rather arrogant boast about getting sex when and with whom you want....that pisses me off i have to say. it's not a great achievement to get laid, whatever your gender. it has no bearing on how sexy or how attractive you are whatsoever.
of course this thread became all about sex when it's about a man who apparently doesn't like it!!! LOLZ
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I did asked. One of my questions from me to him is... "are you still a virgin???"...but he refused to answer...just ignored...most of my questions according to asexual stuff...
So I have no idea if he was born as asexual (hopefully, he was)......or maybe...something bad happened to him that turned him into that way??? who knows???
I am not going to convert him into sexual. And I think I am not asexual, but I am more spiritual than sexual...Winking
Maybe, he wants to convert me into Asexual??? LOL Tongue
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well...i wouldn't have thought conversion to asexuality as being worth a Tongue face at all!!
it's highly suspicious that someone who openly declares themselves as being 'asexual' by way of an introduction to someone 3000 miles away online isn't prepared to answser any questions relating to that declaration.
i think you're being sucked in tbh...and i don't think it's 'sweet' bullshit at all, it's perverse and revolting.
people don't reveal really intimately personal things as flippantly as this guy has...i have no clue why you would want to talk to this person, no matter how 'cute' he is.
have you seen this guy on webcam...i mean do you have ocular proof that he is as cute as you say he is?
this is a very entertaining and interesting thread btw smile
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I just saw his pictures online only.
Also, I am very interested in learning NEW things......"Asexual" is exactly brand new to me...Winking
So I am going to take the chance to learn the new "project"......plus, I have nothing to lose...
Only once he had called me "sexy", then I asked him "why do you like sexy woman but you don't like sex at all???"
then he apologized to me seriously about using "sexy" word on me, and never use it any more. Is that interesting???
Anyway, he did not only get my attention, but also raise my curiosity...Tongue
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Posted by seraph
Posted by luckystar007

So far, nobody really answered my questions from my OP



Of course they were answered. The answer is that there is no answer. No one here has any experience with an asexual individual. So no real *specific* advice can be given.
Just keep talking to him like you'd talk to anyone else, have a little patience, and let things unfold. You don't ned any advice about how to talk to someone. This is not complicated.
So just keep the communication lines open.

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I know......just be "patient"......it is really something against my nature...Winking
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Posted by luckystar007

I am trying to figure out why he became asexual...I believe everything has its reason. I did some research... Asexual can be real but not evil...1% of adults are asexual. I don't think he is using "asexual" to attract a non-asexual woman...make NO sense at all.


Oh my freaking god, I can't even handle this ignorance. I can't I can't I can't. -block-
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Posted by seraph
Posted by sheathedclaws
I've lost some respect for certain individuals here, hm.


It isn't really the idea of asexuality that's throwing people off.
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1. Not just 'women' fall for lines. I've had others fall for my lines while looking for nothing but a fling.
2. The only thing I was addressing in my last couple messages was on the topic of asexuality - period. My comment about respect directly comes from that - not from any topic stemming from this Leo, at this point. So it still stands.
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I guess, as regular ("sexual") people, there is nobody can really figure out what "asexual" people think or act or react likely...???
Feel like "aliens" from out of solar system.........so all astrology stuff doesn't work on them.........the Leo (usually with highest sex-drive) became asexual. Just prove that there is NOTHING is impossible...Winking
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@ Elle, +1 +1 +1
Thank you very much for your understanding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Big Grin
I don't know what to do exactly......just need to be patient to let him open himself........Tongue
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I think I may have overstepped the line here with feeling personal. I've been frustrated with others in my personal life not understanding the sexual and gender roles I maintain. It's difficult to explain and on others behalf - I'm sure it's difficult to begin to understand.
But on that note, don't make him explain it. Honestly it's already excluding in it's own right.
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Posted by TaurusManUk
se or Ball. If he was genuinely serious he should have waited for that to come out. On my previous thread I was jumped upon for bringing up any 'virginity' issues with me even though I did have a valid excuse(s). Why is he first of all flagging it up in your face as to taunt you with a 'red flag'?? This doesn't make sense not to mention the fact that he is doing it in the comfort of 3000 miles away from you and getting on a plane and paying money to come over there and
AND to answer your OP, my response to you is this:
Use your own Intuition, 'Sixth Sense', Reasoning, Cognitive Abilities, Mental Agility and any other Cerebral Function etc etc that 'God' has gifted you with and 'be the Judge'. Fundamentally you are the only one who can take the judgement call nonetheless.
Good Luck to you on this Luckystar smile


TM, thank you for your deep thoughts!smile
Honestly, I had seen some "red flags" from his BS.......I won't be tied down until I allow him to do so...Winking
I actually set up a "timer" for him (just for me to know, I won't tell him)...if by the "deadline", he is still acting the same way......then I will drop him right away.
I would not like to keep a "shitty" personality to be my "brother", he is not qualified if he can only give BS.
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Posted by sheathedclaws
Posted by luckystar007

I am trying to figure out why he became asexual...I believe everything has its reason. I did some research... Asexual can be real but not evil...1% of adults are asexual. I don't think he is using "asexual" to attract a non-asexual woman...make NO sense at all.


Oh my freaking god, I can't even handle this ignorance. I can't I can't I can't. -block-
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Sounds like someone got mad by such ignorance...good feeling, isn't it??????Winking
That's exactly I got from him...and I am going to return it to him...Tongue
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Posted by TaurusManUk
@sheathedclaws: relax we are not insulting anyone you know but the concept of this Guy flaunting his asexuality as a badge of honour and not being truthful or anything like that.


Sweetheart, tell me to relax again and you'll find yourself at the wrong end of my wrath. Don't patronize me, nor hint at my emotions being extinguished.
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Posted by seraph
Posted by sheathedclaws
Posted by luckystar007

I am trying to figure out why he became asexual...I believe everything has its reason. I did some research... Asexual can be real but not evil...1% of adults are asexual. I don't think he is using "asexual" to attract a non-asexual woman...make NO sense at all.


Oh my freaking god, I can't even handle this ignorance. I can't I can't I can't. -block-


Those aren't sheathed claws!! Winking
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Yes they are, dear. You'd be in a less than favorable position if you witnessed them unsheathed. Internet or not, it's quite volatile and cold.
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Posted by ShahBano
Posted by seraph
Posted by Sag89
whatever that is real. Not everyone needs sex to have a romantic relationship.


Unrequited love? Winking
Heathcliff and Catherine . . .


Leave Heathcliff out of it, he was one self-centered, pathetic slob; he is more likely to be a scorpio , and Katherine seems to be a typical Cancerian--using others to benefit some.
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Well with your description of traits you 'deem Scorpion', I'd have to say your perception of Scorpions is very inaccurate..
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I'd accuse a fellow Leo of such traits before a Scorpion.
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To Sheathedclaws
I have never met any, so yes I am more than likely to be wrong, and my knowledge of astrology is sketchy.
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Posted by ShahBano
Oh god, I am such a dunderhead, I can't even talk in one go ,

Luckystar,
Every person has the right to talk/ or not to talk about her/himself. Friendship or talking on-line does not give any one the right to demand/ force personal things out of other people.
Friendship does not mean one has to bare his/ her soul to you ?
Why do you want him to blabber out everything about him ?
And it's even more astonishing that when people feel indignant about an other person's desire to be reticent about some aspects of his life.
Let him keep his truth and lies to himself, he has every , every right to do so.



I always follow the Golden Rule to treat people the same way as I want them to treat me. HONESTY is the first thing I concern about in any friendship / relationship. If I respect him by being honest with him, then I require the same as return. Otherwise, I consider as he disrespected me.
"Every person has the right to talk/ or not to talk about her/himself."
Surely, so I have right to talk about anything I want!!! In this case, he told me that he is asexual, and also said that he is proud of being an asexual... Usually, people like talking / showing off what they are proud of...but his reaction is very UN-normal.
I think friendship should be based on some level of "trust"...if there is NO trust, then NO friendship.
I call "sweet-talks" as BS, and I was offended by receiving too much BS from him...sometime, I doubt if he is a playboy...??? Why did he keep giving BS rather than straight talks???
Anyway, as I said, I stop asking him any questions, by my "deadline", if he is still as same as before, then I will ignore him forever!
By the way, I don't think you really understand my situation. Never mind, you can talk whatever you want...Winking
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and it appears my perception of Heathcliff was also wrong, a day to face my own ignorance it seems.
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Aw, to love like that, he can only be scorpion plus the intensness and passion - scorpio. Seeing as Emily Bronte was a Leo herself i'd imagine she conjured up a scorpio heathcliffe smile Leo/Scorpio the great passion.
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"By the way, I don't think you really understand my situation. Never mind, you can talk whatever you want..."
Cool
I did not realize it was some highly advanced celestial bodies trajectory diagram,
I will hide my posts,
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Posted by ShahBano
Forget it smile
He is a Leo---he would never even let you realize where and when he was hit and how badly it bewildered him Smug


He is not a real typical Leo any more......Smug
I know how to deal with a Leo, but not the "heteromorphosis" kind of Leo...Winking
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Posted by TaurusManUk
Posted by sheathedclaws
Posted by TaurusManUk
@sheathedclaws: relax we are not insulting anyone you know but the concept of this Guy flaunting his asexuality as a badge of honour and not being truthful or anything like that.


Sweetheart, tell me to relax again and you'll find yourself at the wrong end of my wrath. Don't patronize me, nor hint at my emotions being extinguished.


Fair dos I won't then. Everyone is entitled to their emotions. I just wondered why you were getting agitated. Simples really. This was quite an old quote anyway.
P.S I don't believe in Patronising anyone as there is no point to it. You know do unto others as you would do to them and all. Also threats either 'empty' or 'real' are very unattractive on anyone.
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TM, don't take it too seriously.......they are just emotional cats.........Winking
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Posted by WoundedLeo
I have a friend who I've known since we were 5 years old. He's a Cap/Sag. He likes to tell me he's "autosexual". I just laugh and tell him that it's time he came "out of the closet". :-)
I love him though no matter what kind of sexual he is because he's always been such a terrific friend.


Can you tell what is "autosexual"??? Is it different than "asexual" or same???
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