Cancer Loner at work-Issue with LEO coworker.

SO!
I am not very familiar with LEO's. Ive heard that they are the sweetest, and nicest but this Manager at my job is the DEVIL in Red Bottoms!

SO heres the thing. Im an assistant for a company, I report to ONLY the VP. ALL of the VP's managers that report to her also have to come to me for just about anything the VP wants.

The VP and her were ALWAYS alone together, Always coming in together, and just about anything that happened with me & my life my VP told the LEO, and she never made it a secret. If it was my personal life or an error I made shed make sure to mention something or comment very negatively but come off concerned...

In example...1) after listening to a phone call with me and my dad. She proceeds with oh thats nice that youu have some help wioth your daughter , and its not just you...

2) Walked out of my office with the wrong paper to participate in an ativity and she mentions well why am I not suiprised that you made that mistake.




(NOW just a bit of imortnant info. The VP she was close to was transferred to another location and I now have a woman VP and shes alredy on my new bosses good side!)

Now Ive brushed it off but today she decided to make another comment.
I scheduled a meeting for my new boss...my boss calls me from the location to confirm why no 1 is there. SO i contact Leo who is also scheduled to atttend...This is how the convo went...


Me: Hi is still being held in 309 ?

Leo:Yes - I am not attending thogh

ME:Ok the boss is there and no one else is there.

Leo:I wasnt aware that there was a meeting ..

Me:Its on Your calendar as well.

Leo:I know it is - however Mr. C usually confirms if there a meeting and but there is another meeting scheduled at the other location it may be cancelled.


I am a strong believer that bulied people bully people. and she was venting near my office one day about how her mother inlaw lied about her to her own daughter and it just seeemed like home was a bit tense....


-leos, why is she trying to HUMILIATE ME?
How do I handle this—?

I'm lost

Ok why?
😢 I tried to give enough info...
But also enough to understand the history.

I can understand JYnja.
I wrote it all in rage, and being upset.
Leo reports to the VP that I assist.
Ive been here 2 years and the VP (male) that i was working to prior was very very anal and I did make mistakes that im sure he discussed with her.

There are several managers of different areas, that all report to my VP.

I do not report to those managers.

BUT this LEO and I have had a few run ins and I am so cunfused as to why she makes it her businesss to purposely make comments about my personal/work business based on the things that she may have observed at work and or the things that has been discussed about me by my ex VP.

I was lost with who you were complaining about, the Leo or the VP as it rambled and was a bit disjointed, and then further the latest description of bullying just confused me, she seemed to answer your question about the calendar item and how meetings are usually confirmed or not. Added to that I'm not sure what was wrong with telling you how nice it was that you had support from a family member with your child. Perhaps to start you should keep personal business out of the office (make and take personal phone calls in private is a good start) and don't let others know too much about your personal life in the first place, they are your work colleagues not your friends.

Perhaps I am not articulating myself fully about the situation.
The both of you are right in all areas.
But this woman does not make her comments to be nice, or to give critical criticism.
The comments she has made , with the information she had was never anything I discussed in front of her.

Maybe youd have to be here to understand,
My mentor in the company agrees that she is always trying to make me seem incompetent.
I do admit I have made mistakes, but why try to humiliate me?
Why are you making comments at ALL costs.

I dont report to her, my work does not interfere with hers.

She and my old VP had a very close relationship and shed always come in here close the door and the gossip began. Now that hes gone, she has no one to come in here to speak to but shes made it her duty to make comments to almost embarrass me, or to make it known that I know of your personal business.

I do have ALOT of team spirit, I am always putting myself out there, to assist the managers with any projects that are due for the boss.
I am always trying to keep busy and work with everyone.

I guess to fully understand youd have to know that my job is not full of demanding reports. Bust basically requesting follow up items for the vp, preparing meetings and reaching out to them when they are needed.

Like I said in my 1st year I made mistakes. No one is perfect. It is not like im a total idiot.

Never said she wanted my job.

But her attittde around the office is simply of a woman who doesnt get her way anywhere else so she demands it here. Shes a fire cracker and she doesnt hold her tongue even when it could have gotten the previous VP in trouble.


Maybe she just believes im an incompetent fool and she gets a kick out of putting me down, putting my busness in my face with pitty, and thinks that I am incapable of doing anything correct.

No help here...

Posted by Ssasy
Maybe she just believes im an incompetent fool and she gets a kick out of putting me down, putting my busness in my face with pitty, and thinks that I am incapable of doing anything correct.

No help here...

I've only seen one LEO like that, before. I think she has a Virgo moon.

Don't misunderstand; she was a good and helpful person, overall, except for that one aspect-- which somehow translated to what seemed like publicly embarrassing/pitying (idk wtf, tbh) others.

I also had to TALK OVER HER, because she interrupted.

Here's my thought on that: I honestly don't think she was aware she was doing it, because she shutup when I did.

Not everything is malicious-- have you ever been around her outside of work?

Montomery no I havent.
BUT I overheard a convo that she had with someone about her daughter speaking to her mother in law. She expressed almost in tears on how for years she always had to deal with the mother-in-law and how her husband always sided with him and she just seemed bitter and resentful of her.

Leo and I are from different circles shes old enough to be my mother!

Ive heard great things about this woman, how passionate she is, how helpful she is, and how much she will fight for you.

BUT Ive yet to see it.

She has a weird attitude towards me...

But I will just try my best to do my job.

& also keep to myself at the same time.

Posted by Ssasy
Montomery no I havent.
BUT I overheard a convo that she had with someone about her daughter speaking to her mother in law. She expressed almost in tears on how for years she always had to deal with the mother-in-law and how her husband always sided with him and she just seemed bitter and resentful of her.

Leo and I are from different circles shes old enough to be my mother!

Mothers in law *shudders*

Seems like they are either fabulous or frightening-- but I don't know how that would apply unless you're somehow furthering the mother in law's cause.

I don't think she would arbitrarily beat you down because of that (bullied people bully).

Why you?

I typically clash with Cancers-- we don't seem to understand each other; but that isn't the case with all LEOs.

Only advice I can give is that if someone is *genuinely* kind to me, I'll go out of my way for them.

🙂

Posted by Jynja
In any case, if you really want to settle everything, schedule lunch and talk about it. Be direct and ask her exactly what she wants. If you fumble, it is very likely she'll have you for her lunch.

Good luck.

click to expand

Well I felt as if she always has something to say about everyone. and also be littles people at times, I only used that as probably cause for her behavior.


I get along with 3 Leos. Ive never met a Leo like this one.

She shines the lights on everyones flaws.

My coworker used to report to her and shes pretty tough and effecient shes a Gemini. She asked to be relocated because, Leo replaced her manager that retired and once she came she took over and changed all the rules and no longer involved my coworker on meetings and or any decisions.

Posted by Ssasy
SO!
I am not very familiar with LEO's. Ive heard that they are the sweetest, and nicest but this Manager at my job is the DEVIL in Red Bottoms!

SO heres the thing. Im an assistant for a company, I report to ONLY the VP. ALL of the VP's managers that report to her also have to come to me for just about anything the VP wants.

The VP and her were ALWAYS alone together, Always coming in together, and just about anything that happened with me & my life my VP told the LEO, and she never made it a secret. If it was my personal life or an error I made shed make sure to mention something or comment very negatively but come off concerned...

In example...1) after listening to a phone call with me and my dad. She proceeds with oh thats nice that youu have some help wioth your daughter , and its not just you...

2) Walked out of my office with the wrong paper to participate in an ativity and she mentions well why am I not suiprised that you made that mistake.




(NOW just a bit of imortnant info. The VP she was close to was transferred to another location and I now have a woman VP and shes alredy on my new bosses good side!)

Now Ive brushed it off but today she decided to make another comment.
I scheduled a meeting for my new boss...my boss calls me from the location to confirm why no 1 is there. SO i contact Leo who is also scheduled to atttend...This is how the convo went...


Me: Hi is still being held in 309 ?

Leo:Yes - I am not attending thogh

ME:Ok the boss is there and no one else is there.

Leo:I wasnt aware that there was a meeting ..

Me:Its on Your calendar as well.

Leo:I know it is - however Mr. C usually confirms if there a meeting and but there is another meeting scheduled at the other location it may be cancelled.


I am a strong believer that bulied people bully people. and she was venting near my office one day about how her mother inlaw lied about her to her own daughter and it just seeemed like home was a bit tense....


-leos, why is she trying to HUMILIATE ME?
How do I handle this—?

Leo's take ownership of a situation. If that Leo gleaned something that suggests you are not 100% a team player, the Leo is not going to be quiet about it.

What is your sign? Did you mention it?

Posted by Jynja
Why shouldn't she comment about the mistakes you make that is drawing work back?

You seem to think you're an island on your own in the office. I'd dare say you have no team spirit. When you're working for a VP, you're all working under one heading and should be able to co-operate with each other to advance your department.

Your work affects her and hers affects you (no matter how sure you are that they are independent of one another). If Leo is a manager - and I think she is - then it is not your job she wants. She's likely aiming higher than that.

However, if your reports are full of mistakes that have to be edited at meetings, then she'll be frustrated with it all... wouldn't you think?

In any case, if you really want to settle everything, schedule lunch and talk about it. Be direct and ask her exactly what she wants. If you fumble, it is very likely she'll have you for her lunch.

Good luck.

Spot on. Extremely good advice. Especially the last bit about lunch.

Posted by Inspired13

Posted by Ssasy
SO!
I am not very familiar with LEO's. Ive heard that they are the sweetest, and nicest but this Manager at my job is the DEVIL in Red Bottoms!

SO heres the thing. Im an assistant for a company, I report to ONLY the VP. ALL of the VP's managers that report to her also have to come to me for just about anything the VP wants.

The VP and her were ALWAYS alone together, Always coming in together, and just about anything that happened with me & my life my VP told the LEO, and she never made it a secret. If it was my personal life or an error I made shed make sure to mention something or comment very negatively but come off concerned...

In example...1) after listening to a phone call with me and my dad. She proceeds with oh thats nice that youu have some help wioth your daughter , and its not just you...

2) Walked out of my office with the wrong paper to participate in an ativity and she mentions well why am I not suiprised that you made that mistake.




(NOW just a bit of imortnant info. The VP she was close to was transferred to another location and I now have a woman VP and shes alredy on my new bosses good side!)

Now Ive brushed it off but today she decided to make another comment.
I scheduled a meeting for my new boss...my boss calls me from the location to confirm why no 1 is there. SO i contact Leo who is also scheduled to atttend...This is how the convo went...


Me: Hi is still being held in 309 ?

Leo:Yes - I am not attending thogh

ME:Ok the boss is there and no one else is there.

Leo:I wasnt aware that there was a meeting ..

Me:Its on Your calendar as well.

Leo:I know it is - however Mr. C usually confirms if there a meeting and but there is another meeting scheduled at the other location it may be cancelled.


I am a strong believer that bulied people bully people. and she was venting near my office one day about how her mother inlaw lied about her to her own daughter and it just seeemed like home was a bit tense....


-leos, why is she trying to HUMILIATE ME?
How do I handle this—?

Leo's take ownership of a situation. If that Leo gleaned something that suggests you are not 100% a team player, the Leo is not going to be quiet about it.

What is your sign? Did you mention it?

click to expand

DOH! Cancer. T

Cancer. That explains a lot. Always sideways stepping...

Posted by Inspired13
Cancer. That explains a lot. Always sideways stepping...

Whoa Whoa Whoa...

Sideways stepping?

Again I dont think you fully get the gist of whats going on.
Team player? I am the assistant to the big boss.
I Go after the managers when something is needed, when my boss requests it, or even when the managers as for a favor.

This LEO drops comments insulting me based on the information shared about me from my previous boss; whom she would gossip with on a daily basis.

Now that hes gone she mentions things to me, not to be friendly or constructive but to kind of poke at me regarding what she knows.



Like I said forget it.
Because no one is trying to fully understand, youre just out to point the blame and say Oh yeah cancer figures.