Falling in love with a Leo
This topic was created in the Leo forum by ConfusedLibra on Thursday, December 1, 2011 and has 6 replies.
I am a Libran male and I have fallen hard for my Leo friend who is 7 years younger. She's charming, witty, pretty, lively, high class, wild, adventurous, and she has a magnetic personality as well as a wide male audience, a true Leo! We've known each other for 4 years, but my love interest in her is very recent. I am currently living in a different state due work commitment, but I plan to return and move closer to her next year. We exchange phone calls often and also communicate electronically. She will always lookup to me for help and advice, which I provide gladly. Last month, I've told her about my feelings and even though she thought I was kidding, she did not seem to mind the extra attention. Initially she seemed interested but as I am getting closer to her, she's pulling back. She did not say she did not like me, but when I got her cornered, she said she considered me as a big brother. I feel like she's hiding her emotions well and putting a facade as she had only painful relationships in the past. I've tried ignoring her for a few days to clear my mind, but she would then be concerned about my lack of presence and would text me back to ask what's bothering me. I've changed my ways and I am now completely devoted to my Leo, showering her with lavish gifts and undivided attention, all while overlooking her negative Leo traits. I feel there is a deep chemistry between us and I am ready to commit to a long term relationship with her. While she does seem to care about me, she also appears to be confused about her own feelings. She still looks up to me for help but she will now not respond when I am being romantic, whereas she used to giggle before. When I change the conversation to something else like the help she wanted or her career, she does respond though as if nothing had happened. We still talk like good friends. It is only on the romantic side that has become weird. I do love her dearly but I feel like my feelings are making her feel uncomfortable 
Is it a lost cause? Am I being used? Am I being insensitive? Or is she just confused?
Is it a lost cause? Am I being used? Am I being insensitive? Or is she just confused?
this is just from my own (leo female) perspective - albeit an older Leo :-)
1. Leo's like attention
2. Leo's don't like to lose friends and will hold on to them if at all possible.
3. Leo's are never confused about their feelings
4. Leo's who want you will be easily taken or will go get you.
5. Leo's are optimistic, past painful experiences don't automatically make us think future experiences will be the same - au contraire!
6. Leo's do not hide their emotions well - not the love ones anyway.
This Leo girl you are talking about - she enjoyed the "special" attention from you but when you told her about your feelings she knows she doesn't have the same feelings so backed away from you - if she had the same feelings as you she would have gone for it with gusto and you would be in no doubt, you limited the attention which in turn makes her feel like she might be losing a friend and the attention - so initiates contact - because of genuine concern for you mind, because of a need not to lose a friend and because she somewhat likes the attention. If she said you are like a brother to her then that is what she means. I would say yes your feelings are making her uncomfortable but because she loves you as a "friend" she is not willing to give up the friendship - only when it becomes very uncomfortable will you be cut off without a backward glance (but not without sorrow on her part) - however I may be completly wrong on all of this!
Again, only from my own experiences/feelings/leo knowledge.
1. Leo's like attention
2. Leo's don't like to lose friends and will hold on to them if at all possible.
3. Leo's are never confused about their feelings
4. Leo's who want you will be easily taken or will go get you.
5. Leo's are optimistic, past painful experiences don't automatically make us think future experiences will be the same - au contraire!
6. Leo's do not hide their emotions well - not the love ones anyway.
This Leo girl you are talking about - she enjoyed the "special" attention from you but when you told her about your feelings she knows she doesn't have the same feelings so backed away from you - if she had the same feelings as you she would have gone for it with gusto and you would be in no doubt, you limited the attention which in turn makes her feel like she might be losing a friend and the attention - so initiates contact - because of genuine concern for you mind, because of a need not to lose a friend and because she somewhat likes the attention. If she said you are like a brother to her then that is what she means. I would say yes your feelings are making her uncomfortable but because she loves you as a "friend" she is not willing to give up the friendship - only when it becomes very uncomfortable will you be cut off without a backward glance (but not without sorrow on her part) - however I may be completly wrong on all of this!
Again, only from my own experiences/feelings/leo knowledge.
[edit]Previous got garbled. Reposting
/edit]
Celticlioness, the perspective of an older, more experienced Leo is what I am after. Thank you for sharing this. Your post is very insightful. While this is very painful for me, I have to admit you are right. She's a precious friend and I don't want to lose that friendship. I will try letting go of my feelings and shall let time take its course.
Why is Love so painful?
/edit]Celticlioness, the perspective of an older, more experienced Leo is what I am after. Thank you for sharing this. Your post is very insightful. While this is very painful for me, I have to admit you are right. She's a precious friend and I don't want to lose that friendship. I will try letting go of my feelings and shall let time take its course.
Why is Love so painful?
well letting go of feelings isn't such an easy thing to do - you might want to take a break from seeing her or communicating with her for a while.
Sorry can't tell you why love is so painful as I still haven't found the answer to that one - but each heartbreak is a good lesson to learn from, good luck, and you never know a good long break from communication may make her miss you in a different way - but don't keep your hopes up, get on with your life and look around, there are others out there for you.
Sorry can't tell you why love is so painful as I still haven't found the answer to that one - but each heartbreak is a good lesson to learn from, good luck, and you never know a good long break from communication may make her miss you in a different way - but don't keep your hopes up, get on with your life and look around, there are others out there for you.
Posted by celticlioness
this is just from my own (leo female) perspective - albeit an older Leo :-)
1. Leo's like attention
2. Leo's don't like to lose friends and will hold on to them if at all possible.
3. Leo's are never confused about their feelings
4. Leo's who want you will be easily taken or will go get you.
5. Leo's are optimistic, past painful experiences don't automatically make us think future experiences will be the same - au contraire!
6. Leo's do not hide their emotions well - not the love ones anyway.
This Leo girl you are talking about - she enjoyed the "special" attention from you but when you told her about your feelings she knows she doesn't have the same feelings so backed away from you - if she had the same feelings as you she would have gone for it with gusto and you would be in no doubt, you limited the attention which in turn makes her feel like she might be losing a friend and the attention - so initiates contact - because of genuine concern for you mind, because of a need not to lose a friend and because she somewhat likes the attention. If she said you are like a brother to her then that is what she means. I would say yes your feelings are making her uncomfortable but because she loves you as a "friend" she is not willing to give up the friendship - only when it becomes very uncomfortable will you be cut off without a backward glance (but not without sorrow on her part) - however I may be completly wrong on all of this!
Again, only from my own experiences/feelings/leo knowledge.
this is so true about me too. if she was interested in you, she probably would have pursued u or made it known how she felt.
Take it easy mate.
In love and relationship there are only three options.Yes,No and silence.
Yes emans YES.No means NO.Silence means a genuine concern of giving her more time to think about.
Anything apart from these three things is a BullS**t and you don't want to be treated as @@s.
So in your case she is not interested in you the way you are and hence won't give you what you want BUT she still wants
wants you around so she gets that special treatment and attention. I find it selfish because when opposite person is
revealing his feelings he is only interested in being a partner not friend and trying hard to keep him as a friend is
only serving leo not you.Don't play a role of a nice guy here or you will be used and sidelined when time comes
and its easy for her to do so because she does not lvoe you and she has said it.
So you can go for two options here:-
1.Treat her as a simple friend and by friend i mean friend.U are not obliged to call her often nor are you stopped
in dating other girls.In short she is not your priority as she is just like other good friends and convey this to her by
words and acts.
2.Play it cool and casual. Have fun with her.She will get her timely attention/special treatment and you
will get what your fun.its dangerous game and you got to be emotionally strong.
Best of luck
In love and relationship there are only three options.Yes,No and silence.
Yes emans YES.No means NO.Silence means a genuine concern of giving her more time to think about.
Anything apart from these three things is a BullS**t and you don't want to be treated as @@s.
So in your case she is not interested in you the way you are and hence won't give you what you want BUT she still wants
wants you around so she gets that special treatment and attention. I find it selfish because when opposite person is
revealing his feelings he is only interested in being a partner not friend and trying hard to keep him as a friend is
only serving leo not you.Don't play a role of a nice guy here or you will be used and sidelined when time comes
and its easy for her to do so because she does not lvoe you and she has said it.
So you can go for two options here:-
1.Treat her as a simple friend and by friend i mean friend.U are not obliged to call her often nor are you stopped
in dating other girls.In short she is not your priority as she is just like other good friends and convey this to her by
words and acts.
2.Play it cool and casual. Have fun with her.She will get her timely attention/special treatment and you
will get what your fun.its dangerous game and you got to be emotionally strong.
Best of luck
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