How to deal with the Leo Man?

This topic was created in the Leo forum by savagetai on Tuesday, August 8, 2006 and has 46 replies.
Hi all..
I am a cappy who really really digs a leo man. He's 8 years older than me (which is fine... I'm 25 and hes 33) and I like the fact that hes stable and seems to have his stuff together.
I've known him for not too long.. and when we talk on the phone, our conversation and laughter, is endless! Our witty repertoire is beyond each other and we are constantly teasing and dissing each other.. but in a fun way! Flirting.. might I say. smile Anyways, I've never really dealt with a Leo and for me.. for some reason.. I'm an emotional person (for a Cappy that is..). Perhaps my pisces rising does that. Anyways, on our first date, we had an amaing time.. laughing till we both cried. He walked me back to my apt., left me at my front door and kissed me (woohoo). such a gentleman..
The second time we hung out, I met him and his group of friends at a club. He introduced me to some of them and he met some of my friends. Apparently, both sides seem to be cool with us. I've not known him long.. but these two times that we've hung out has been good. I love talking to him on the phone and we talk on msn too.
Thing is... I'm not used to the fact that he seems to be aloof! Maybe aloof in my standards because I dig him alot and seems to be the one calling and initiating more. Anotehr thing, I've never dated an older man.. and he's definitely different from the 20 somethings I am used to. See, I am very upfront with this Leo. I will tell him like it is, good or bad. He appreciates that I am upfront and that I will express myself to him.. and he sometimes does.. but he seems hesistant. I mentioned this to him and he told me not to take it personally because he's guarded. he told me that I need to get to know him to understand. So I'm being patient as I can.
I have a hard time trusting people because of my past.. but I hope that I can trust him when he says he'll be upfront with me too. I told him that if I stand no chance, he has to tell me and I will go away. I hate being led on and he said that he will. The one thing that I can't stand are games. I play none because I don't like wasting my time.
I don't know how or what to do to handle a leo... I am afraid of getting hurt.. but I really like him and he's told me that he thinks we'll get along fine.. and to get to know each other and see where it goes. I love it when he calls me pet names.. and he seems to want to take things slow I guess?
Please advise.. I don't want to screw anything up!!!
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"I don't know how or what to do to handle a leo... I am afraid of getting hurt.. but I really like him and he's told me that he thinks we'll get along fine.. and to get to know each other and see where it goes. I love it when he calls me pet names.. and he seems to want to take things slow I guess?"
Leos aren't into games either. I think he's being honest with you. Maybe he has been hurt before, and because of that, he just wants to take things slowly, and just get to know you, and feel you out, before making a big commitment.
"I have a hard time trusting people because of my past.. but I hope that I can trust him when he says he'll be upfront with me too."
The fact that he seems gaurded actually does concern me a little bit. Maybe there's something he is hiding (an ex he hasn't completely gotten over yet, or something). Who knows. However, I am pretty sure he wouldn't "keep you around" if there was no potential there. You said you don't like wasting time, and Leos don't either. Right now things definitely seem pretty casual..but that doesn't mean that he isn't going to give you a shot. When things do get more serious, it will be obvious. Leos in committed relationships are anything but aloof Winking
I hope everything works out for you. Although a Capricorn and Leo match can definitely be challenging at times Tongue
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thank you wheelhomies... just wondering.. why are leos and cappies challenging? i'm not a typical cappy you see.....
and i hope things work out too. I really like this dude.. smile
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anyone else... has two cents to offer? smile
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...Thing is... I'm not used to the fact that he seems to be aloof!...
I do this in the initial stages of anything. I wouldn't worry about it. It's still early for you two. And aside from this it seems you like each other. I'm not a Leo man but once he decides he wants more this may change if he realizes he is in love.
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Trust your instincts on this one. The fact that he took you out with his friends on your second date suggests that he doesn't see you as the one.
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I don't know about that little sparrow. I may not be a Leo male, but my friends are pretty important to me. And to let someone meet them usually means I want someone to know the important people in my life. I imagine it could be the same for men. Especially if he wants to show her off in "typical leo" fashion.
It may not suggest that at all, in fact quite the opposite.
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"why are leos and cappies challenging?"
Well, there's always more to a relationship than just astrology, and definitely more than just sun signs as well. But leo and Capricorn tend to have different attitudes towards a lot of things. Capricorn usually tends to be more conservative and "classic", while Leo is flamboyant. Capricorns are also much more frugal than Leos. There are a lot of things like this. Also the two signs vary in how they usually communicate. And both signs are extremely stubborn, which means there isn't going to be a lot of give and take in disagreements.
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I agree with purrrfect, introducing her to his friends means that he thinks she's a cool girl and wants to show her off. But it also probably means that he wants to be friends first and doesn't want to rush headfirst into anything.
savagetai, you've only been on two dates. It might be a little early to start over-analyzing the relationship. Just relax and be yourself, putting pressure on things will only make him disappear. He probably already gets enough of that from women his own age who want to shack up and start making babies after the first date.
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After two dates? She is arm candy he is showing off and not really interested in getting to know her.
Guys who are serious want you all to themselves at least for awhile. If it was two months in, I would agree. Two dates. Nope.
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Not necessarily if he's the social type. My bf and I shared the same friends right away.

......But it also probably means that he wants to be friends first and doesn't want to rush headfirst into anything..........
This is THE best way to get anything started.
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What that should mean is....
Friends were somtimes included in our "dates" right away.
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Savagetai...weren't you with a Cap recently?
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LS, you need to put down your autographed copy of "The Rules" and step back into reality. It sounds like he's been hurt before (maybe recently) and isn't necessarily in the mood to wine and dine. She would have been arm candy if they were walking down the red carpet at a Hollywood premiere, but it sounds like it was just friends getting together casually.
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Good point purr, if you can't be friends with a lover then you won't ever be able to take it to the next level. At least not successfully.
Maybe that's a lesson he learned the hard way and doesn't want to make the same mistake again...
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Exactly SC. They are still becoming comfortable with each other it seems. Things should be kept light hearted until then. It doesn't mean you aren't getting to know someone. They share a sense of humor, which is good. It makes it that much easier to share things later on down the line once the "ice" is broken.
And true, after some experience it's wise to be a HELL of a lot more careful.
Sometimes I prefer my friends around on initial "dates". That way if you don't hit it off there is always someone else there to entertain the both of you lol
See you guys laters smile
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Hi all,
Thank you for all your comments! Wow, I don't know where to start replying..
First of all, LeoWithCapAndAnnoyed, I wasn't with the cap dude officially but he turned out to be somewhat of a flake. I have no patience for someone like that. It's been a couple of months since I've talked to him anyways.
Wheelhomies, I am a cappy.. but somewhat of a different kind.. because I am not exactly frugal and such. Stubborn I may be... but I'm also known to be the understanding kind too. I'm a mutt of stars! lol
Okay... the second time when I met his friends, it was just a "i'm in the area, and so are you, lets meet up" kinda thing. At the place where we were hanging out, he came over and told me that he still thought I was cute and wanted to know if I'd go for dinner with him sometime (I hope that will be sometime soon....) and I said yes. So I told him that it'll be like a third date.. and he told me that us hanging out then wasn't a date... when it's just us, it'll be a date. smile But he asked me after if my friends approved of him and he told me that his friends thought I was cool. smile
And it's true.. it's too early to overanalyze.. I am just excited, thats all. smile
He is very very careful.. and he told me that he's recently got a lot going on in his life and that he's just busy right now. So I asked him if whatever is going on, going to effect us communicating and getting to know each other... he said no.. but it's just finding the time to do the things he needs to do. So he said in due time. For him, he wants to take the time... we had an msn conversation today that was pretty funny. He asked me to send him pics of me at the beach in my recent vacation and i asked him if I was going to get compensated. He told me that he has to see if I am worthy. So i asked him what I'd have to do to prove myself. and he said he likes a woman who is willing to jump through hoops. I replied and said that I'd like a man who is willing to jump through hoops as well.. and asked him whether we are going to be doing sommersaults or is it just a one man show. and he told me that we may do something like that... time will tell. I told him I'd like that and he said he thinks so too. And that we'd get along good. smile
and I'd just like to say... i am ALWAYS at my best behaviour and in style . so he can show me off anytime... he's got someone good on that arm. Winking
Is it typical for a leo to start off slow? I am guessing that it is....
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....He told me that he has to see if I am worthy. So i asked him what I'd have to do to prove myself. and he said he likes a woman who is willing to jump through hoops. I replied and said that I'd like a man who is willing to jump through hoops as well....
omg, I cracked the hell up reading this.
Who doesn't like it when someone jumps through hoops for them? Just make sure he does the same for you when the time calls for it. And just remember some hoops are impossible to jump through. Sometimes I set my standards so high I can't even meet them. If he does this, he will need a reality check somehow.
So far, it sounds like he was just teasing you.
I think generally Leo is a slow moving sign when it comes to relationships. Leo loves freedom so getting one to settle down may take a minute. Once they do, Leo is a fixed sign and tends to grow roots. I don't know how many others would agree considering we are all different. It may not be the case for him. But it doesn't sound like you are having much trouble so far.
Just have fun and enjoy yourselves smile
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First of all, LeoWithCapAndAnnoyed, I wasn't with the cap dude officially but he turned out to be somewhat of a flake. I have no patience for someone like that. It's been a couple of months since I've talked to him anyways.
Rrrrrrr... Winking Good for you! I know the feeling!
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On the Leo male...
I will agree with Purr and the others. We don't tend to jump into relationships. In fact, it takes us awhile to warm up to the idea. After more time spent together, I guarantee you'll have this guy figured out in no time. We're not as complex as our distant Cap cousins. :-)
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Soft Cookie
*** It sounds like he's been hurt before (maybe recently) and isn't necessarily in the mood to wine and dine.
Then he isn't emotionally available and should not be dating. If that isn't the case, he is treating her too casually. He is not acting to impress her. Men know how to impress women they really like. Men know how to date women they are really into. He is either lazy, emotionally unavailable, or just casually dating her. Any which way, if she gives her heart to him, she loses.
It isn't The Rules. It is common sense.
And you can be arm candy to a man without a red carpet and just within his group of friends. It happens all the time. He is showing her off to soon. That is how I know.
Okay I read the revised history but am still posting this because I adamantly disagree with Cookie. I think Cookie knows I am right and just thinking like a guy. aka that it is fine to date a girl casually for years because she put up with it.
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Now, that I have read through the whole revised history ... personally, I don't like him. He is acting like the prize. People tell you who they are and what problems you are going to have with them early on. He just told you he wants you to jump through hoops for him and prove your worth. That is a pink flag waving in the wind.
And of course he wants to have sex with you! Men like sex. Everyone likes sex.
Something about you sending him photos of your beach trip so he can decide your worth disturbs me greatly. I don't like it and it is really standing out in my mind.
I think this guy is going to break your heart. I don't know why but I am pretty positive. Something doesn't seem genuine. I am seldom wrong about these things.
Please be careful and guard your heart.
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Savagetai,
Was that conversation about jumping through hoops said playfully? Was he teasing you or was he serious?
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Being a cap, i'm always on guard. no worries about that....
He said that to me playfully purrfect.
little sparrow.. I know what you mean by all that you say. Mind you... this is not the first thirty something year old guy I've dealt with and quite frankly, they are all chill like this. but anyways.. he doesn't owe me anything yet.. and I guess I am still learning about what he's all about. I thank you for your insight little sparrow.. but I do agree that at some level, you are generalizing a little too much. But that's just a thought...
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I didn't send him pics of me at the beach to prove my worth. I'm not that stupid either. I've dealt with enough men to know who are players and who are not. This Leo man... isn't promising me anything which is fine.. and isn't out to get me. If he was, I would know the very instant we went out.
There's nothing wrong with harmless flirtations. I send pics of myself to guys I see all the time.. doesn't mean they get what they want with me.
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*** this is not the first thirty something year old guy I've dealt with and quite frankly, they are all chill like this.
And have any of them married you or have any of the relationships lasted several years?
*** I didn't send him pics of me at the beach to prove my worth.
Don't get mad at me. I am not the one suggesting you need to send pictures of yourself to prove your worth. I am the one suggesting you are worthy enough as you are.
*** I send pics of myself to guys I see all the time
Why would you do this?
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Was he teasing you or was he serious?
In theory, it doesn't matter. There is often truth in humour. This was a power exchange and an attempt to establish power in the relationship. He will always want the upperhand and will expect her to submit to his wants.
Think back to your first few dates with any of your past/present partners. If you do, you will recall them telling you exactly what problems you will have with them. That was probably the most life-altering advice I have ever been given and it is true! Every single person I have ever dated has told me very early on what problem I was going to have with them, usually the first date, but definetly before the fifth.
She is welcome to do what she wants. I imagine she will keep seeing him, yadda, yadda. But if she does, I think power and control will play a huge part in their relationship and at least she is going in with her eyes open.
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JMO, YMMV.
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Sorry if I am coming across as a little harsh. My home computer is fried and it sounds like I may have to replace the motherboard which is going to cost me hundreds and hundreds of dollars.
Plus, I HATE watching good people being taken advantage of.
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LS
You are coming across a little harsh. Sorry to hear about your computer, you would probably be better off buying a new one rather than replacing the motherboard. It will be about the same price after you pay some greasy computer nerd to install it. Dell has some deals right now. Does FedEx ship to Canada? Winking
Not every relationship has to begin like a Harlequin Romance Novel. It sounds like she's not on the husband hunt just yet, and he's letting her know that he's not going to ditch his friends for the first pretty face that crosses his path. No pressure for anyone, just flirting and feeling each other out. The truest relationships start from humble beginnings.
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Cheer up LS XsmileXsmileXsmile

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hee! hee!
Thanks!
I know I am being way more blunt than normal. Normally, I would soften what I was saying and put a positive spin on it. Today, not so much.
How long does it take to replace a motherboard anyway? (If that is what is wrong with my little friend.)
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It shouldn't take more than an hour, less if you get a speedy nerd.
Total price: decent motherboard + install ~= $ 300 (American, not Canuck bucks)
You can get an OK laptop for $ 500- $ 700, or a new desktop box (assuming you use existing monitor, keyboard, etc.) for $ 300- $ 400.
But the ability to bitch and moan anonymously == priceless Winking
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I would probably just stick with the puter I have and install a new motherboard. Losing all my music and photographs, etc would devestate me.
*** But the ability to bitch and moan anonymously == priceless
Tongue
don't make me hurt you! I will! I am not afraid of your pain. Something to think about. Winking
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Roni
You are a leo male? Who knew this? Why did I get the memo? I thought you were a girl. lol! Sorry!
I am in a much better mood today. I feel kind of bad for being so aggressive yesterday. I still stand by what I said, I just should have said it better.
The thing is, and I sure as hell didn't know this when I was younger, is men flip you into two categories early on. (Everyguy I know has confirmed this.) You are either marriage material (and you get treated a certain way) or you are good for now. It is pretty hard to climb out of the good for now category. And a guy can stay with a good for now girl indefinetly ... years and years and years.
I just rather she goes in with her eyes open because girls don't work this way and it is something we know.
Regardless, I hope it all works out and she has a fabu life.
:smile:
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Hey all... thank you for all your advice.. I'm taking a step back and seeing where it goes... *cross my fingers* I guess... maybe i'm just overanalyzing because I am such a chick.. lol...
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Okay... hi all... here's an update.
so we were supposed to on a date two weeks ago on a thursday.. but he had to cancel last minute because his friend got admitted into a hospital from a seizure. I had made him a cheesecake (his birthday cake!!) and was disappointed, but he came by on Saturday to get the cake. We hung out at my place for 5 hours.. just talking, play fighting.. making out and such! Tongue It was really nice to just be with him and we had such a good time... the next day he called me and we talked on the phone for four hours.. just about everything and it felt so good.. i found out about his past.. and he was in soemthing for 7 years.. but they went different directions and marriage was not in sight, so they broke up. So He is a serious type.. and can be in a relationship with the right one. Apparently.. so far, I'm doing good. smile
We had a date just this thursday... and it was brilliant. We went out to dinner at a Japanese Restaurant and hes so adventurous with food! I love it! We never stop laughing when we are together. The smile never stops and I don't know.. I just dig him alot. We talk about our friends, we can even occasionally bring up our ex's so I know we both acknowledge we have people in our past but we're not talking about them as if we are not over them or anything of that sort. But its been awesome.. he's talked about how hes gonna tick me off if we ever have fights.. and la la la... and.. he seems to talk in the context of us kind of being together for now.. which I like. We both know we're not seeing anyone else and he likes the fact that I am loyal. We went back to my place and we hung out and he left at 5.30 in the morning. We fell asleep in each others arms!! Poor dude had to work the next day and had to drive home (half an hour away from where I live). The best part, is he doesn't push for s3x. He said he has more respect to want to get to know me more and he was saying.. how s3x is not hard to find.. its the lasting connection. And i completely respect that.
So.. I guess, so far so good. Being a cappy, I am still anxious though.. and really hope that things go well. Ive had some bad experiences with being played.. and I really hope.. I am not being played here. To me, he seems genuine.. but I have a hard time trusting. I'm trying to take it slow too.. but sometimes. its hard when you like someone alot. smile
Does this sound okay so far my fellow leos?

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...Does this sound okay so far my fellow leos?....
Are you serious?
You sound happy. Aw, the joys of falling in love smile (or 'like'.... because you are a cautious cappy, right? lol)
I know I am female, but a lot of times my way of flirting is to play fight with someone. I thinks he really likes you.
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Can I help it if I am anxious. smile
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Thanks Roni... *breathe breathe*
I'll learn to take it slow too... I guess... smile
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That sounds terrible, he's already putting his friends ahead of you. The next thing you know he'll start volunteering at an animal shelter or helping old ladies cross the street...
I'm just kidding, of course. He sounds like a stand-up guy and that he wants to get to know you instead of just looking for a quick fling. I guess that's why some women prefer older guys, a larger percentage of their thinking is done with the big head rather than the little.
It's great that you two are spending the time to get to know each other. Knowing someone's history definitely gives you insight into their character and helps you understand the reasons behind their behavior. Much better than taking a previous poster's advice (**cough** LS **cough**) and prematurely judging the person by some unwritten "rules".
It sounds like you two are on track for something meaningful, I hope everything works out. And don't be shy about making the first move, he may be a gentleman but his Leo ego would love to think that his magnetism pushed you to the breaking point. Winking
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Thank you soft cookie... smile I hope it works out too...
Are leos usually true to their word? I love the fact that hes so communciative thus far. I know being a cappy, I am freakin loyal and truthful about things.
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Just wondering... are leos truthful? and trustworthy?
Having dated some cappys... who say one thing but mean another... kinda paranoid about it.
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as a leo male, i tend(ed) to be less truthful about things directly dealing with my past, but only in an attempt to make myself seem more than i was . as i've become more mature, this type of duplicitous behaviour has waned with age . i'm an older lion now; i'm happy with the achievements that i've made and don't really need to make up things to get all puffed u p.
other than that, i tend to be honest and forthright about things, to a fault .
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i'm a leo and so is my dad. we're both honest(too honest at times). Anyway, this guy sounds like a keeper. and you seem really happy. don't be so insecure though. i'm sure you're beautiful and amazing. he is just as lucky to have you as you are to have him. he obviously has respect for you and enjoys your company. Leo's are loyal creatures and very protective over those they love. him introducing you to his friends means he's proud to be with you. all the best with it.
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I??m a female Leo, and what I can tell you, be careful... When he completely commits he will be loyal,not when he is dating. He is taking his time and getting to know you, but if he feels like you??re trying to act a certain way, he will know it and leave.
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