Take time away from him and cut off all contact until things become clear to you. It will be hard, but so is the state of being in limbo and being unsure of what feelings are real and not real.
I have to get this out of my chest :(
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
You cannot take things naturally with a person who is invested in another person, he is using you to deflect his mind from his own relationship problems, whether he knows it or not. If it doesn't feel right to you then it isn't right. Detach yourself. If he is willing to involve you in his life while his life isn't his to give away freely then he isn't showing you any respect, and you aren't showing yourself any either.
Thank you for all your insightful replies. I truly appreciate you responding and not for attacking me.
It felt a bit better after I posted but this pressure on my chest (although still there) is waning gradually.
He had separated after the pregnancy incidence. One year into his separation, we connected for a year. He was living outside the country at the time. Then when he came back, we met in person. And as
*Jynja predicted,...
he had not forgiven her. Fights were going... she threatened him to kill him at his sleep, police got involved, etc. He is very involved with his children. I admire that about him. For the children's sake I suggested to find outside help.
In the meantime, he went so depressed that he started playing in stocks and lost a huge chunk. He wants to make up for the loss by going abroad again. This time he plans on taking wife and kids and rent out the family house.
Where is my place?
Sure not amidst a family reconciliation or whatever that is. He keeps his wife's betrayal secret from his family members. They don't know about the child not being his.
Either way, he is making plans on going abroad.
He said he will keep in touch with me.
what to say...
It felt a bit better after I posted but this pressure on my chest (although still there) is waning gradually.
He had separated after the pregnancy incidence. One year into his separation, we connected for a year. He was living outside the country at the time. Then when he came back, we met in person. And as
*Jynja predicted,...
he had not forgiven her. Fights were going... she threatened him to kill him at his sleep, police got involved, etc. He is very involved with his children. I admire that about him. For the children's sake I suggested to find outside help.
In the meantime, he went so depressed that he started playing in stocks and lost a huge chunk. He wants to make up for the loss by going abroad again. This time he plans on taking wife and kids and rent out the family house.
Where is my place?
Sure not amidst a family reconciliation or whatever that is. He keeps his wife's betrayal secret from his family members. They don't know about the child not being his.
Either way, he is making plans on going abroad.
He said he will keep in touch with me.
what to say...
Posted by celticlioness
You cannot take things naturally with a person who is invested in another person, he is using you to deflect his mind from his own relationship problems, whether he knows it or not. If it doesn't feel right to you then it isn't right. Detach yourself. If he is willing to involve you in his life while his life isn't his to give away freely then he isn't showing you any respect, and you aren't showing yourself any either.
Yes. What you wrote seemed very clear to me too. I believed he just came to me whenever he is unhappy with her.
His wife is totally dependent on him for financial support. For a while they had an agreement. She was removed from family home by police after throwing death threats and beating her children. For now everything is calm. So me being now physically involved just gives me the feeling of being used.
He gets obsessive and very upset when he can't talk to me. He wants me to be patient but ... you know... I'm afraid of karma biting my behind. And I told him too... whenever he wants to get close to me, I see his children's eyes staring at me.
Fum you are so messy LOL not one of your relationships you've shared on DXP has been healthy.
Driven by your insatiable appetite for drama & difficult relationships is part of your problem. The married man is just a reflection of that.
Go back and read your own words, better yet he is mentally and emotionally bound to his wife and kids whereas he had a physical sexual connection with you. Who do you think he's going to choose?
You're jacking your heart around because you lack boundaries and seem to relish in conflict drama driven impossible relationships.
Move on...
Driven by your insatiable appetite for drama & difficult relationships is part of your problem. The married man is just a reflection of that.
Go back and read your own words, better yet he is mentally and emotionally bound to his wife and kids whereas he had a physical sexual connection with you. Who do you think he's going to choose?
You're jacking your heart around because you lack boundaries and seem to relish in conflict drama driven impossible relationships.
Move on...
Leo's have fiery persona's and one of two things generally happen when they're deeply hurt. They either explode or they'll quietly plot a fitting revenge, giving the person enough rope to hang themselves. Sounds to me like he's going down the path of the latter and it won't be pretty.
My advice to you is to give him the space and time to do what he feels he needs to to and if he cares enough for you he will most definitely return. For now, stay out of the cross hairs otherwise you will become a casualty.
My advice to you is to give him the space and time to do what he feels he needs to to and if he cares enough for you he will most definitely return. For now, stay out of the cross hairs otherwise you will become a casualty.
Jynja
Everything you uttered on this thread is pretty much what he said. Prideful... dying inside... I know he is not playing around (definitely not!.. he cannot fake).. to add to your extras, he said, he is with her because of the children. He said, I never gave up on you, this will never change, and so on...
I think you have come the closest in explaining what he goes through. I understand his emotions, but I never allowed him to pass this wall that I conserve, especially, to a married man. I was OK with dating a man who claimed he is 'separated'. However the second I realized the man planning for his wife.. like bringing food to her or responding to her calls, I used to feel sick in my stomach and never continued anything that I thought was something other than a 'so-claimed' dead relationship.
Here I strongly agree with ..
*starlover. You so describe the feelings I usually nuture. Any woman giving a man the reign to betray on their wife... is gone in my books. I'd apologize to his wife if she'd ever come to me. I agree.
*Seraph, just say what you have in mind. Don't worry about hurting me. You will do a favour.
*tiki, I know you have good intentions. I know you like to help women by injecting the 'you are messed up, so correct yourself' immunization. It so happens that all throughout my life Aries girls, Leo girls and it so appears since kindergarden, Aquas have remained my best friends. So whole heartedly, I appreciate you waving your finger at me.
*Feline, your first two lines is something that I suspect him doing. I believe he wants to make sure he is financially strong enough to first care for his children and also be the civilized person to his wife as a rule. If she 'hangs' herself with her own rope.... not sure if he will be happy about that. It's a sensitive area of psychology, first you don't want to be wrong in your choices. Secondly, you would never want to harm the mother of your children. I respect that.
He doesn't know himself.
But I think... as hurt as he is, he wants to make things work.
So I have no place in his life. I never thought otherwise.
I think I crossed a line that I have been faithfully defending for many years. In my own Scorpio mind I already see him going off on a ship with his wife and children. I will be past.
Just getting my mind ready for the standards that I believe I should have continuee holding on to despite my own desires.
😢
But he asked
Everything you uttered on this thread is pretty much what he said. Prideful... dying inside... I know he is not playing around (definitely not!.. he cannot fake).. to add to your extras, he said, he is with her because of the children. He said, I never gave up on you, this will never change, and so on...
I think you have come the closest in explaining what he goes through. I understand his emotions, but I never allowed him to pass this wall that I conserve, especially, to a married man. I was OK with dating a man who claimed he is 'separated'. However the second I realized the man planning for his wife.. like bringing food to her or responding to her calls, I used to feel sick in my stomach and never continued anything that I thought was something other than a 'so-claimed' dead relationship.
Here I strongly agree with ..
*starlover. You so describe the feelings I usually nuture. Any woman giving a man the reign to betray on their wife... is gone in my books. I'd apologize to his wife if she'd ever come to me. I agree.
*Seraph, just say what you have in mind. Don't worry about hurting me. You will do a favour.
*tiki, I know you have good intentions. I know you like to help women by injecting the 'you are messed up, so correct yourself' immunization. It so happens that all throughout my life Aries girls, Leo girls and it so appears since kindergarden, Aquas have remained my best friends. So whole heartedly, I appreciate you waving your finger at me.
*Feline, your first two lines is something that I suspect him doing. I believe he wants to make sure he is financially strong enough to first care for his children and also be the civilized person to his wife as a rule. If she 'hangs' herself with her own rope.... not sure if he will be happy about that. It's a sensitive area of psychology, first you don't want to be wrong in your choices. Secondly, you would never want to harm the mother of your children. I respect that.
He doesn't know himself.
But I think... as hurt as he is, he wants to make things work.
So I have no place in his life. I never thought otherwise.
I think I crossed a line that I have been faithfully defending for many years. In my own Scorpio mind I already see him going off on a ship with his wife and children. I will be past.
Just getting my mind ready for the standards that I believe I should have continuee holding on to despite my own desires.
😢
But he asked
me to stay with him. Seraph... talking time!
What would be the best decision I could do for him?
Please.. anyone.. just utter your thoughts. This is not limited to Seraph but I was hard on Seraph and other male Leos at occasions. I'm curious if my intuitions were close to understanding.
What would be the best decision I could do for him?
Please.. anyone.. just utter your thoughts. This is not limited to Seraph but I was hard on Seraph and other male Leos at occasions. I'm curious if my intuitions were close to understanding.
Posted by starlover
((((FUM)))))
I bet if you let him go, truly go, something much healthier and sincere will come to you ~ if you carry on with him, some not so nice karma may present itself
What would you rather have?
You are right. I said same to him. I said, you should make things work and I deserve someone who is available.
Even if no one comes along.. I've already accepted my faith.
It's unfair to him if he feels my weight as well. This has gone beyond best friends...
Seraph,
thanks for the black on white.
He wants me to continue being his 'friend'. But this definition has to change.. No friend, no connection. I have to be the one to take the first step. Our friendship has outlived itself.
thanks for the black on white.
He wants me to continue being his 'friend'. But this definition has to change.. No friend, no connection. I have to be the one to take the first step. Our friendship has outlived itself.
Ok so I ended it. In all angles I ended... friendship expired after relationship. I gave him the choice to come back to me when he is not committed to his wife anymore. That draws the end. Like truly... it draws end to even our friendship. I believe he will hold on to the bargain on his end. But whatever the outcome, it will be defining. Clear mind... clear intentions... clear relationship. I may regret my action tomorrow, but I believe from the bottom of my heart that I have taken a step one against 6. A wife.. a husband.. and 4 little girls.
No fume I'm not saying you messed up. I'm saying you're messy and drama driven and he's a reflection of your choice to be with a married man whose equally being messy. That messiness is going on inside of you and you draw/attract that messiness to yourself which is why you're in another confusing messy situation.
Until you look at your own behavior you will stay losing in love. I have a gut feeling you do not want that and yet everything you're doing/how you're behaving contributes to what you don't want.
You had no business befriending a married man that hasn't involved his wife in that friendship and that is messy behavior on your part. Leave married men alone, do not befriend a married man unless his wife is equally involved in nurturing a friendship with you.
Think about it this way. If you were married. In love but made mistakes but basically still firmly planted in your relationship despite the conflict the last thing you'd hope for is that your man would jump into bed with someone else.
No matter how horrible his situation is with his wife clearly he has no desire to leave her because if he truly wanted to leave he'd left her and he's stay gone and if he hasn't done that throughout your connection with him for the last few years you've known him then he's not leaving his wife.
If you want love don't remain stagnate with a man whose committed to his marriage. Focus on getting on with your life with someone who can give you what you want, he (the married man) can't.
He know exactly who he is. He's a married man with kids, mortgage, responsibilities that he desires to escape from time to time but he's committed to his mess because if he wasn't happy, if he wasn't fully committed, child support would not stop him from leaving an unhappy miserable life. If he stick it out with a cheating ass wife, take her back, he ain't going nowhere.
You do not want to wake up 10/15 years later, no husband, no family and no prospects if marriage/being married some day is your goal. Life is too short..
Until you look at your own behavior you will stay losing in love. I have a gut feeling you do not want that and yet everything you're doing/how you're behaving contributes to what you don't want.
You had no business befriending a married man that hasn't involved his wife in that friendship and that is messy behavior on your part. Leave married men alone, do not befriend a married man unless his wife is equally involved in nurturing a friendship with you.
Think about it this way. If you were married. In love but made mistakes but basically still firmly planted in your relationship despite the conflict the last thing you'd hope for is that your man would jump into bed with someone else.
No matter how horrible his situation is with his wife clearly he has no desire to leave her because if he truly wanted to leave he'd left her and he's stay gone and if he hasn't done that throughout your connection with him for the last few years you've known him then he's not leaving his wife.
If you want love don't remain stagnate with a man whose committed to his marriage. Focus on getting on with your life with someone who can give you what you want, he (the married man) can't.
He know exactly who he is. He's a married man with kids, mortgage, responsibilities that he desires to escape from time to time but he's committed to his mess because if he wasn't happy, if he wasn't fully committed, child support would not stop him from leaving an unhappy miserable life. If he stick it out with a cheating ass wife, take her back, he ain't going nowhere.
You do not want to wake up 10/15 years later, no husband, no family and no prospects if marriage/being married some day is your goal. Life is too short..
Posted by FUM
If you feel you need to bash me... go ahead. Harm has been done anyway.
I know this married Leo for, I think, 7 years now. I know he is into me but I kept him arms length away because he is married with children.
I met him at a time when he was separated from his wife for about 2 years. They were still in contact, but she had broken his heart by getting pregnant by another guy. So the last child is by someone else, but he loves her unconditionally as he loves his own children.
Regardless, I believed he should make his family life work. Forgive his wife... and all will be good again in time. A agreed to do the family counselling with her and things seemed to be going fine. I mean, he always wants to be with me and calls me several times in a day, but I always brushed of his Lovey Dovey talks and usually change the subject to less emotional topics.
I never allowed myself to develop feelings for him. Lately we have been seeing each other more often and he is instigating a business liason with me.
One day the tension in between us rose so high, I had sex with him. I regretted later for I don't want to invest my feelings in him. We broke up and very same day we experienced so much back-and-forth drama about the break-up that the following sex was just out of this earth... fiery.. passionate and for hours.
I am losing control over my emotions. It feels like a volcano in me, I was able to crust over is cracking apart.
My balance is off. He just told me I should just let things to its natural flow.
This doesn't feel right to me.
Now I don't know anymore...
How do u "break up" with a married man??
I know,ScorpioChica... your question is a rhetorical one.
Anyway... I'm fuming... I'm so hurt and angry that I want to sting him until I see him hurt. I feel betrayed. I resisted his approaches for the longest time and then fell flat on my face.
After my messaging last night, he called this afternoon saying he couldn't sleep all night, but needed to talk. If it was OK if we occasionally just talked. Be friends.
I just want to bite his head off. It's not good. What good does it do when you mess with a scorpio and then want to stay friends?
I have my standards, my pride, and for a split moment I was taken by his charm. I had not had a man in ages... I just didn't want to do ANYTHING with that part of my life. I hoped for a decent man maybe... over time, but in the meantime, I was just working, working, working like an idiot. Even at nights... anytime.
But this is a loss. My heart still aches for acting like a big fat loser.
After my messaging last night, he called this afternoon saying he couldn't sleep all night, but needed to talk. If it was OK if we occasionally just talked. Be friends.
I just want to bite his head off. It's not good. What good does it do when you mess with a scorpio and then want to stay friends?
I have my standards, my pride, and for a split moment I was taken by his charm. I had not had a man in ages... I just didn't want to do ANYTHING with that part of my life. I hoped for a decent man maybe... over time, but in the meantime, I was just working, working, working like an idiot. Even at nights... anytime.
But this is a loss. My heart still aches for acting like a big fat loser.
Posted by FUM
Anyway... I'm fuming... I'm so hurt and angry that I want to sting him until I see him hurt. I feel betrayed. I resisted his approaches for the longest time and then fell flat on my face.
After my messaging last night, he called this afternoon saying he couldn't sleep all night, but needed to talk. If it was OK if we occasionally just talked. Be friends.
I just want to bite his head off. It's not good. What good does it do when you mess with a scorpio and then want to stay friends?
I have my standards, my pride, and for a split moment I was taken by his charm. I had not had a man in ages... I just didn't want to do ANYTHING with that part of my life. I hoped for a decent man maybe... over time, but in the meantime, I was just working, working, working like an idiot. Even at nights... anytime.
But this is a loss. My heart still aches for acting like a big fat loser.
Cut him off! It'll hurt for a long while but u won't be strung along anymore...he's having his cake n loving it! If he can't give u 100% of himself what good is he??
You just don't mess with married people... Even if the kill each other stay far away!
Seraph thanks... Looks like you know how to deal with emotional garbage. Must be draining to be a Leo. At least Scorpios can keep a facade and know how to scare people away till ... We may decide oh.. Facade down .. Why keeping it up?
I wasn't able to worm today. Obviously. I'm taming a mental day holiday.
Its not even worth it.
Seraph thanks... Looks like you know how to deal with emotional garbage. Must be draining to be a Leo. At least Scorpios can keep a facade and know how to scare people away till ... We may decide oh.. Facade down .. Why keeping it up?
I wasn't able to worm today. Obviously. I'm taming a mental day holiday.
Its not even worth it.
My nexus tablet is doing my spelling for me.
Big heart versus big heart. Then you wonder who will keep cools? But in a magical way, when one is hot the other adjusts to keep living temperature. They have no idea of how that just worked. So take it for granted and lose it.
Aim for the challenge and that's all you get. Do not wonder why your cycle turns round and not like the drawing of a functioning circuit.
Aim for the challenge and that's all you get. Do not wonder why your cycle turns round and not like the drawing of a functioning circuit.
I just have to type all this. Don't mind my banter.
It's therapeutic to this gal. Her machinery just outta oil.
So now let's say there are two equals. They get angry at the same time. They get happy at the same time. They call each other at the same second so it doesn't ring but the line is connected. Silence. What's going on? H..ello?
Oh..
hello?
Now they are confused at the same time.
Scary. Let's analyze.
My sun is in Scorpio. My sun is in Leo. My moon is in Taurus. My moon is in pisces. So let's love. My Venus is in Libra. Mine is in Virgo.
How about your ... Uhm ... You are not wearing a ring. Hmm..
Weeellll... Cuz!
Oh..
hello?
Now they are confused at the same time.
Scary. Let's analyze.
My sun is in Scorpio. My sun is in Leo. My moon is in Taurus. My moon is in pisces. So let's love. My Venus is in Libra. Mine is in Virgo.
How about your ... Uhm ... You are not wearing a ring. Hmm..
Weeellll... Cuz!
Posted by seraphPosted by FUM
My nexus tablet is doing my spelling for me.
"Taming a mental day holiday."
Kinda makes sense, actually. 😛click to expand
I think I typed 'taking'. Lol
My tablet keeps putting words in my mouth.
I certainly need a stronger wine!
If I mix vodka into my wine, I may feel prrettty sick tomorrow. Good thing is, my one typing finger is working.
If I mix vodka into my wine, I may feel prrettty sick tomorrow. Good thing is, my one typing finger is working.
Aanyway... I crossed him out.
I was crossed out before I even was aware. Guys, if you care for a girls friendship, keep it zipped!
I was crossed out before I even was aware. Guys, if you care for a girls friendship, keep it zipped!
Oh, Girl.
I'm not judge because you've already judged yourself and this situation.
I will say, with a Scorpio Sun and Taurus Moon you cannot emotionally, spiritually or sexually afford to pick someone unwisely. Please, PLEASE take your time in vetting someone and making sure he is your equal.
If he's not, with your chart aspects, it'll be a slow painful slaughter. Seriously. Look long and hard for the next one, por favor..
I'm not judge because you've already judged yourself and this situation.
I will say, with a Scorpio Sun and Taurus Moon you cannot emotionally, spiritually or sexually afford to pick someone unwisely. Please, PLEASE take your time in vetting someone and making sure he is your equal.
If he's not, with your chart aspects, it'll be a slow painful slaughter. Seriously. Look long and hard for the next one, por favor..
Pluraleo, thank you for your wise words.
I never thought I'd find myself on the Leo board posting especially not for him.
We've been best friends for many years. Sometimes it used to bother me spending so much time on the phone with him. I gotta go... Why don't you talk to your wife? Find someone else...
'Oh, sweety.. But I need to ask you something. What should I do with...?'
At many times I would not pick up and he'd call me obsessively even 5 times in a row on my various phones. Even my daughter got angry with him one day.
I'd go on dates and he'd call.
I didn't even feel attracted to him. In my mind he just was NOT someone I'd allow to come close.
But I did. I consciously did. I wanted him too.
I woke up with unbelievable pain on my chest. What hurts most is the feeling of betrayal. I feel cornered. Most of all I will miss our chatters. I will miss being part of his life.
I never thought I'd find myself on the Leo board posting especially not for him.
We've been best friends for many years. Sometimes it used to bother me spending so much time on the phone with him. I gotta go... Why don't you talk to your wife? Find someone else...
'Oh, sweety.. But I need to ask you something. What should I do with...?'
At many times I would not pick up and he'd call me obsessively even 5 times in a row on my various phones. Even my daughter got angry with him one day.
I'd go on dates and he'd call.
I didn't even feel attracted to him. In my mind he just was NOT someone I'd allow to come close.
But I did. I consciously did. I wanted him too.
I woke up with unbelievable pain on my chest. What hurts most is the feeling of betrayal. I feel cornered. Most of all I will miss our chatters. I will miss being part of his life.
I will miss his innocent chatter. I am embarrassed for giving in to him. I am embarressed for having developed feelings for him. I am so so embarrassed that he saw my Scorpio uncool side. The side that explodes to your face. To push him away, I was mean to him. He said, 'I wish this ground opened up and swallowed me in.'
I feel better now.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Posted by FUM
So now let's say there are two equals. They get angry at the same time. They get happy at the same time. They call each other at the same second so it doesn't ring but the line is connected. Silence. What's going on? H..ello?
Oh..
hello?
Now they are confused at the same time.
Scary. Let's analyze.
My sun is in Scorpio. My sun is in Leo. My moon is in Taurus. My moon is in pisces. So let's love. My Venus is in Libra. Mine is in Virgo.
How about your ... Uhm ... You are not wearing a ring. Hmm..
Weeellll... Cuz!
lol
Like magnets, right? 😉
Let it suffice to say that it's totally *understandable*-- you say he was legally separated, when you met?
But now-- back together with the "crazy wife" and four-- FOUR children.
There are 101 possibilities, here-- one being that he isn't about to leave his four girls in the care of this woman--
But here is what I don't understand:
With her documented history of domestic violence, he should have no trouble taking custody-- but maybe the laws are different where you are.
Further, if it's all a secret about the wife's infidelity, and they are keeping up appearances for the rest of the family-- it stands to reason that this will not change, regardless of whether or not the law is on his side.
To entertain the possibility that it may-- my opinion is that you're setting yourself up for more heartbreak.
And though harsh, I think Tiki nailed it:
"... child support would not stop him from leaving an unhappy miserable life. If he stick it out with a cheating ass wife, take her back, he ain't going nowhere.
You do not want to wake up 10/15 years later, no husband, no family and no prospects if marriage/being married some day is your goal. Life is too short.."
And so did you:
Posted by FUM
This doesn't feel right to me.click to expand
Best of luck to you. 🙂
Posted by FUM
Pluraleo, thank you for your wise words.
I never thought I'd find myself on the Leo board posting especially not for him.
We've been best friends for many years. Sometimes it used to bother me spending so much time on the phone with him. I gotta go... Why don't you talk to your wife? Find someone else...
'Oh, sweety.. But I need to ask you something. What should I do with...?'
At many times I would not pick up and he'd call me obsessively even 5 times in a row on my various phones. Even my daughter got angry with him one day.
I'd go on dates and he'd call.
I didn't even feel attracted to him. In my mind he just was NOT someone I'd allow to come close.
But I did. I consciously did. I wanted him too.
I woke up with unbelievable pain on my chest. What hurts most is the feeling of betrayal. I feel cornered. Most of all I will miss our chatters. I will miss being part of his life.
I understand it, but let him feel the loss more than you do. Let him have that burden. Know what I mean?
Montgomery, Hi hun..
There was a time when his wife had a restraining order issued by the police to stay away from house and children.
Although he was happy to have her out of the house, because he was saying he had enough of her beating him. Not only the children, but she was attacking him as well. So he called police and they saw what was going on. So she was removed.
I wasn't involved in any way then. We just used to talk like we did when he was abroad.
He will and has to stay with his wife. He says she is better now. He makes it work for the children.
I suggested they get family counselling at the time.
No. There won't be another physical with him. That's completely out of question now and then. It was just he was heavily coming on to me. Pretending to be doing work and then cornering me at every occasion. I hadn't had sex for the longest time myself, so there was a moment when I thought... WTH... there was just too much tension building in between us.
And then we both were so upset that the tension became even explosive.
It's done! Dealt with.
I appreciate Tiki's point, but I never invested myself like that anyway. My hurt derived from my weakness that for a split moment I just ... you know.. let it all happen.
There was a time when his wife had a restraining order issued by the police to stay away from house and children.
Although he was happy to have her out of the house, because he was saying he had enough of her beating him. Not only the children, but she was attacking him as well. So he called police and they saw what was going on. So she was removed.
I wasn't involved in any way then. We just used to talk like we did when he was abroad.
He will and has to stay with his wife. He says she is better now. He makes it work for the children.
I suggested they get family counselling at the time.
No. There won't be another physical with him. That's completely out of question now and then. It was just he was heavily coming on to me. Pretending to be doing work and then cornering me at every occasion. I hadn't had sex for the longest time myself, so there was a moment when I thought... WTH... there was just too much tension building in between us.
And then we both were so upset that the tension became even explosive.
It's done! Dealt with.
I appreciate Tiki's point, but I never invested myself like that anyway. My hurt derived from my weakness that for a split moment I just ... you know.. let it all happen.
PuraLeo -- I totally get you. Will say again, very wise.
There is nothing an outsider can or should do.
Perhaps the wife reformed.
If you ask me and again... there absolutely is nothing I should concern myself with, however, my intuition tells me otherwise.
He has started watching religious movies. He says, he is learning patience out of these movies.
His wife is very scatter-brained lately. She went into a car accident with the children. She has just lost a whole month's rent. There is something else going with her. I believe her heart is with someone else.
Anyway, just speculation and not my business. I'm just confirming, it should be his burden. Not mine.
There is nothing an outsider can or should do.
Perhaps the wife reformed.
If you ask me and again... there absolutely is nothing I should concern myself with, however, my intuition tells me otherwise.
He has started watching religious movies. He says, he is learning patience out of these movies.
His wife is very scatter-brained lately. She went into a car accident with the children. She has just lost a whole month's rent. There is something else going with her. I believe her heart is with someone else.
Anyway, just speculation and not my business. I'm just confirming, it should be his burden. Not mine.
Jynja,
Omg 😄 you are such sweety. That's why Leos end up my best friends, you all are so smart and no BS! lol
He married her after he was left by some other woman who he very much cared about. I don't know... that's what he says.
The orijinal post is misunderstood when I wrote Leo loves 'HER' unconditionally like his own children, I meant the last daughter his wife had from another man. He never said, he loves her unconditionally. He says, he stays with her for the children.
Leo and Leo, I can see how it works. I met her. She followed him to my house one day. Thankfully, my daughter was with me and my door was wide open when he came with her. Not that I had anything to do with him, but it wouldn't have looked right. We just work together occasionally.
So, I don't know sweety. From what I know, his wife is never happy with anything. She wants a bigger house and they already have a bigger house. They have more rooms than they need, so they rent it out. She doesn't like how he dresses, doesn't like many things. That is why she is/was interested in other men. He doesn't complain, he just says, I need to buy a bigger house, because....
Omg 😄 you are such sweety. That's why Leos end up my best friends, you all are so smart and no BS! lol
He married her after he was left by some other woman who he very much cared about. I don't know... that's what he says.
The orijinal post is misunderstood when I wrote Leo loves 'HER' unconditionally like his own children, I meant the last daughter his wife had from another man. He never said, he loves her unconditionally. He says, he stays with her for the children.
Leo and Leo, I can see how it works. I met her. She followed him to my house one day. Thankfully, my daughter was with me and my door was wide open when he came with her. Not that I had anything to do with him, but it wouldn't have looked right. We just work together occasionally.
So, I don't know sweety. From what I know, his wife is never happy with anything. She wants a bigger house and they already have a bigger house. They have more rooms than they need, so they rent it out. She doesn't like how he dresses, doesn't like many things. That is why she is/was interested in other men. He doesn't complain, he just says, I need to buy a bigger house, because....
As of latest,...
the more I am thinking about the latest incidence the more I believe that it actually has to be a clear cut exit. We talked today about possible friendship, but we both had really nothing more to say other then the questions I had for him. He was just going on and on about the 30-hour religious movie he has been watching.
I kept repeatedly interrupting him, please don't tell me the movie... I have a question for you.
I want to keep my cools but I am getting angrier and angrier. I feel used. I feel I don't want to do ANYTHING with this man anymore.
He is a smart guy... quite senior in his area of work. I was thinking on adding his services to my business. We would have made a good team.
But now I don't trust him anymore.
A couple of hours ago I texted him to pls. call me at his convenience. We need to talk about the business.
So I will take him off.
I will discontinue our friendship.
As Jynja, PuraLeo and starlover suggested, I will let him deal with his own life.
I will not listen to his stories anymore. He has to deal with that part of his life on his own.
And honestly, I've carried his burdens for far too long.
the more I am thinking about the latest incidence the more I believe that it actually has to be a clear cut exit. We talked today about possible friendship, but we both had really nothing more to say other then the questions I had for him. He was just going on and on about the 30-hour religious movie he has been watching.
I kept repeatedly interrupting him, please don't tell me the movie... I have a question for you.
I want to keep my cools but I am getting angrier and angrier. I feel used. I feel I don't want to do ANYTHING with this man anymore.
He is a smart guy... quite senior in his area of work. I was thinking on adding his services to my business. We would have made a good team.
But now I don't trust him anymore.
A couple of hours ago I texted him to pls. call me at his convenience. We need to talk about the business.
So I will take him off.
I will discontinue our friendship.
As Jynja, PuraLeo and starlover suggested, I will let him deal with his own life.
I will not listen to his stories anymore. He has to deal with that part of his life on his own.
And honestly, I've carried his burdens for far too long.
AHHH! Darn... you know... sometimes I believe women shouldn't be so nice to men who turn into fucking assholes like that.
Here comes out my anger.
He was following me like a sick puppy for so so long. He kept saying how he couldn't sleep. He was saying how he goes to the beach and spends the night watching at sun downs, sun rises, full moons and constantly thinking about me.
He used to text me in the middle of the night, "I wish you were here!"
"I wished you were awake."
"I wished you could come."
All the lovey doveyes.
He told me at several occasions how much he loved me.
I brushed it all off.
7 years!!!
Now he had me.
Now I should my emotions to him.
And now he says, he didn't love me. He just couldn't help himself hugging me.
He apologized and said, when I think about you, I imagined us from head to the tip of our toes touching and just staying like that. That's how close I want to be to you.
See... that gets a woman who has not had a man for more than 2 years. I've been a sexually active Scorpio... NO SEX is just not imaginable to me. But I had taken a bow out of that life. I just didn't want to deal with MEN anymore.
All I cared was my business. My success.
Now he had me.
And now I'm ... worthless.
LEO79, you talk of being burned before by men. Believe me, I had my own fare share.
And women like Tiki come bouncing telling ... YOU made wrong choices. Right! It's MY fault? It's MY FAULT WHEN THE FUCKING GUYS LIES—
IT's NOT the guy's fault?
Here comes out my anger.
He was following me like a sick puppy for so so long. He kept saying how he couldn't sleep. He was saying how he goes to the beach and spends the night watching at sun downs, sun rises, full moons and constantly thinking about me.
He used to text me in the middle of the night, "I wish you were here!"
"I wished you were awake."
"I wished you could come."
All the lovey doveyes.
He told me at several occasions how much he loved me.
I brushed it all off.
7 years!!!
Now he had me.
Now I should my emotions to him.
And now he says, he didn't love me. He just couldn't help himself hugging me.
He apologized and said, when I think about you, I imagined us from head to the tip of our toes touching and just staying like that. That's how close I want to be to you.
See... that gets a woman who has not had a man for more than 2 years. I've been a sexually active Scorpio... NO SEX is just not imaginable to me. But I had taken a bow out of that life. I just didn't want to deal with MEN anymore.
All I cared was my business. My success.
Now he had me.
And now I'm ... worthless.
LEO79, you talk of being burned before by men. Believe me, I had my own fare share.
And women like Tiki come bouncing telling ... YOU made wrong choices. Right! It's MY fault? It's MY FAULT WHEN THE FUCKING GUYS LIES—
IT's NOT the guy's fault?
SexyScorpion,
Thank you so much for your supporting words. Yesterday I was just reading through your post, but his call came.
My intuition said, clean out your backpack. That's what I did.
Hugs 🙂 and thanks again...
Thank you so much for your supporting words. Yesterday I was just reading through your post, but his call came.
My intuition said, clean out your backpack. That's what I did.
Hugs 🙂 and thanks again...
Jynja,
I'm saddened to read your story with your Leo man. It particularly hits when two people love each other and you would expect all should be just fine. Over time you take on your roles and all runs even smoother. The more you know each other, the better you know how to deligate and take on.
I learned a new word from you today: Kowtow!
Explains it all in one word.
He went through depression a couple of years back. He couldn't work. That's the time when he took out a second mortgage and instead of investing on his new business, he obsessively played in stocks. His wife doesn't know about.
I guess it's a form of escapism. He used to tell, I give him enerji to live.
He found her a job, so she could stand on her own feet. He took over children's care. He says it's easy when I'm on my own, but with her, it's the constant unhappiness to what he provides (Kowtow). She never goes to a party wearing her dresses for the second time...
He signed up for life insurance for the kids and his wife, so when he dies they are taken care off. So he decided to kill himself.
I said, if you commit suicide, that life insurance will not be issued. He said, he had plans.
At many occasions he said, I am his energy for going on. I give him energy, he sucks up mine. The day he cannot talk to me, he cannot function. And yesterday he said, it's a given, I won't even need to say anymore that I get my strength through you.
Sorry, I really should stop talking about them.
As you ladies also suggested and it made great sense to me to set him 'free'. A step at a time. He is working regularly now, etc. Now is best time to remove myself. I said to him that he is on his own. He should turn his attention onto his wife and himself. I'm out! This regular connection in all areas of life has to stop! No calling. No emailing. No business.
Deal with your own life.
I have to deal with mine.
If for any good reason, he needs to get in touch with me, he can.
Let's start it off fresh and away from each other.
But let me add one more thing, Jynja. This is for you if it will resolve anything inside you. I cought him getting manipulative. Either he was in denial or not sure if that is supposed to be the Leo pride, because it hurt me. He said, he didn't want to have sex with me, he just wanted to hug me. Believe me, he was going on like a mad man. I kept pushing him away. He followed me at every step. Each time I t
I'm saddened to read your story with your Leo man. It particularly hits when two people love each other and you would expect all should be just fine. Over time you take on your roles and all runs even smoother. The more you know each other, the better you know how to deligate and take on.
I learned a new word from you today: Kowtow!
Explains it all in one word.
He went through depression a couple of years back. He couldn't work. That's the time when he took out a second mortgage and instead of investing on his new business, he obsessively played in stocks. His wife doesn't know about.
I guess it's a form of escapism. He used to tell, I give him enerji to live.
He found her a job, so she could stand on her own feet. He took over children's care. He says it's easy when I'm on my own, but with her, it's the constant unhappiness to what he provides (Kowtow). She never goes to a party wearing her dresses for the second time...
He signed up for life insurance for the kids and his wife, so when he dies they are taken care off. So he decided to kill himself.
I said, if you commit suicide, that life insurance will not be issued. He said, he had plans.
At many occasions he said, I am his energy for going on. I give him energy, he sucks up mine. The day he cannot talk to me, he cannot function. And yesterday he said, it's a given, I won't even need to say anymore that I get my strength through you.
Sorry, I really should stop talking about them.
As you ladies also suggested and it made great sense to me to set him 'free'. A step at a time. He is working regularly now, etc. Now is best time to remove myself. I said to him that he is on his own. He should turn his attention onto his wife and himself. I'm out! This regular connection in all areas of life has to stop! No calling. No emailing. No business.
Deal with your own life.
I have to deal with mine.
If for any good reason, he needs to get in touch with me, he can.
Let's start it off fresh and away from each other.
But let me add one more thing, Jynja. This is for you if it will resolve anything inside you. I cought him getting manipulative. Either he was in denial or not sure if that is supposed to be the Leo pride, because it hurt me. He said, he didn't want to have sex with me, he just wanted to hug me. Believe me, he was going on like a mad man. I kept pushing him away. He followed me at every step. Each time I t
Each time I turned my head, he was breathing down my neck. Can I hold you? Can I hug you?... little by little...
And that comment astounded me for how he twisted reality.
As much as it made things complicated, I don't feel sorry for having sex with him. Sex that I liked. I'm glad it was him than a stranger I do not know about. It was the right and wrong person.
Time ride against sunset.
Can be empowering.
He has to find out on his own what he wants from life.
And that comment astounded me for how he twisted reality.
As much as it made things complicated, I don't feel sorry for having sex with him. Sex that I liked. I'm glad it was him than a stranger I do not know about. It was the right and wrong person.
Time ride against sunset.
Can be empowering.
He has to find out on his own what he wants from life.
Jynja...
Wow. Your last paragraph is powerful.
I won't hold my breath, but you wrote about the 'shark' is very to the point.
Wow. Your last paragraph is powerful.
I won't hold my breath, but you wrote about the 'shark' is very to the point.
Jynja.. sorry one more comment.
I think I know what you mean by 'loss' between you and your Leo.
I'm holding it deep in my heart. Not sure what good this can do, but I'm holding on to it just so tightly.
I think I know what you mean by 'loss' between you and your Leo.
I'm holding it deep in my heart. Not sure what good this can do, but I'm holding on to it just so tightly.
It hurts my heart. I was never able to retain friendship after separation. I tried to stay friends with him. He is willing to just go along the friendship line. Perhaps I need time. I just feel betrayed in my heart when he said he didn't love me. I could have gone along with that. I wouldn't have rocked the boat. If I had used that love, I would have made plans with him. I never took advantage of his love for me... but his denial was hard to take.
It feels weird hearing you say, that I should be on his side and not his wife's side. I usually think of the women. I defend the wife or girlfriend. But it also seems odd rather that I would drop him, almost like punishment. To me it seemed more like a swim or sink.
I never said anything bad about his wife until two days ago when I bursted to his face that his wife his cheating his ass, even now! (woaw.. Stinger!) I'm pretty sure of that... but it wasn't my place to say that. It appears he doesn't care.
It pissed me off to see that this woman is taking so much advantage of him. I said, look at my house. It's not big, but I'm happy in it. So should you. Don't take on more debt.
Shit! I don't want to take on his responsibility.
It feels weird hearing you say, that I should be on his side and not his wife's side. I usually think of the women. I defend the wife or girlfriend. But it also seems odd rather that I would drop him, almost like punishment. To me it seemed more like a swim or sink.
I never said anything bad about his wife until two days ago when I bursted to his face that his wife his cheating his ass, even now! (woaw.. Stinger!) I'm pretty sure of that... but it wasn't my place to say that. It appears he doesn't care.
It pissed me off to see that this woman is taking so much advantage of him. I said, look at my house. It's not big, but I'm happy in it. So should you. Don't take on more debt.
Shit! I don't want to take on his responsibility.
I had a boyfriend commit suicide on me. So I know it can happen. It's a pretty sensitive area in me.
As much as I want him to swim and be happy... darn
that truly brings back memories. Something I thought I could have prevented in the past. Now has come again to haunt me? What if? What if I have a chance of saving him? Why should it be my responsibility? I haven't done any harm to him other than pulling myself away.
As much as I want him to swim and be happy... darn
that truly brings back memories. Something I thought I could have prevented in the past. Now has come again to haunt me? What if? What if I have a chance of saving him? Why should it be my responsibility? I haven't done any harm to him other than pulling myself away.
Jynja ... you have no idea how much gratitude I have for you. Thanks for your responses.
🙂
Just straight no chaser. Cut ALL ties and let him be with his family. Don't let this situation take you to a bad place. "It doesn't feel right to me" is all you need to know to move on.
I knew the conversation would come to the 'moral' speech.
I never mentioned anywhere in my post that I was attracted to him, even if, I would not seduce a married man.
We were friends.
We liked each other. Even if he liked me more... It doesn't matter, I am the one who ended it.
If I were truly so moral less as you claim, star lover, I had him looking time ago. Because he was a 2 years long separated man. It was due to my diligence that these two got together again.
Even his mother doesn't talk his wife for as long. She doesn't visit their home.
As jynja stated, wish that you never ever find yourself in that situation.
I never mentioned anywhere in my post that I was attracted to him, even if, I would not seduce a married man.
We were friends.
We liked each other. Even if he liked me more... It doesn't matter, I am the one who ended it.
If I were truly so moral less as you claim, star lover, I had him looking time ago. Because he was a 2 years long separated man. It was due to my diligence that these two got together again.
Even his mother doesn't talk his wife for as long. She doesn't visit their home.
As jynja stated, wish that you never ever find yourself in that situation.
So anyway, I moved on just fine. I actually met a scorpion man. I can understand why women can like him. He definitely is a one-woman man. His seriousness is almost scary. I tried to change his attention to another attractive woman, but he said, "No, I'm going to stay with you. She is just an attention grabber."
Wow.. he certainly passed my first test with flying colors. 😄
Wow.. he certainly passed my first test with flying colors. 😄
Hugs sweety.
I was never attracted to scorp man and this one is way to young. But it's good to have fun.
When you get to my age, the scene to dating will change drastically. Our world is not that ideal. It's definitely worth holding on to standards. However over time one gets exposed to more complicated stuff.
I was never attracted to scorp man and this one is way to young. But it's good to have fun.
When you get to my age, the scene to dating will change drastically. Our world is not that ideal. It's definitely worth holding on to standards. However over time one gets exposed to more complicated stuff.
I'm on my tablet, so I see it corrected my spelling from. *looong time ago* to looking. I meant when I met Leo, he certainly was an available man.
People sometimes don't get divorces for monetary or religious reasons. They don't continue their lives together anymore, but that piece of paper becomes nothing but a piece of paper.
It was me who constantly talked into his head that he should go back.
I hope now that I did the right thing, because I wouldn't wish him to slowly die from the inside.
People sometimes don't get divorces for monetary or religious reasons. They don't continue their lives together anymore, but that piece of paper becomes nothing but a piece of paper.
It was me who constantly talked into his head that he should go back.
I hope now that I did the right thing, because I wouldn't wish him to slowly die from the inside.
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