If a Leo doesnt want to talk about her problems

Should I let it go?

i feel bad I cant help knowing she's unhappy. I told her I care about her, is there anything else i can do?

Be consistent and patient. When she's ready she will.

How do I be consistent without annoying her?

I know if I constantly ask her if she's alright she will get angry with me. What can I do?

Posted by xdimplez

Posted by leejt86
I know if I constantly ask her if she's alright she will get angry with me. What can I do?

stop asking her. i know i hate constantly being asked if i am ok, especially when i just want to be alone with my thoughts and feelings.

if you tell her that you will be there for her, then do just that. when she is ready to talk to you about it, be there for her. but give her the space that she wants...or else she will unleash mufasa on you

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+1

oh no i wasnt planning on constantly asking her, im not that dumb.

i just want her to be happy and i wish i could help

Your a Virgo right? Be you and true to your Virgo self. Be consistent and just be there. She will come around when she sees you are solid, trustworthy, and your caring side. We are very protective over of inner feelings as it shows our vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We have to have gained trust in someone for us to feel safe to do so. That can take time. My closest friend is a Virgo and I cherish his friendship. It took time but I know I can fully trust him and he holds some my deepest hurts, pains and secrets. I hear from him the same things you are saying: I want you to be happy, I wish I could help, I want you to make it through this happier, and etc. You Virgos are great gems and phenomenal friends.

Yes Im a Virgo

She told me last night she thinks im too girly and emotional. Is it normal for Leos not to understand Virgos emotions?

Posted by leejt86
Yes Im a Virgo

She told me last night she thinks im too girly and emotional. Is it normal for Leos not to understand Virgos emotions?

Leo's are pretty self reliant. We love people but when it comes to matters of the heart we really on rely on ourselves. I have amazing friends and there's plenty of times I keep them in the dark about things. Usually it's because I don't want them worrying about me when I know I can fix it. I tell them after the fact. It's also a pride thing. But if she's saying that you're emotional it could be because she doesn't understand. We are emotional, don't get me wrong, but we're fiercely strong as well. Hopefully this helps.

Posted by Leostrong

Posted by leejt86
Yes Im a Virgo

She told me last night she thinks im too girly and emotional. Is it normal for Leos not to understand Virgos emotions?

Leo's are pretty self reliant. We love people but when it comes to matters of the heart we really on rely on ourselves. I have amazing friends and there's plenty of times I keep them in the dark about things. Usually it's because I don't want them worrying about me when I know I can fix it. I tell them after the fact. It's also a pride thing. But if she's saying that you're emotional it could be because she doesn't understand. We are emotional, don't get me wrong, but we're fiercely strong as well. Hopefully this helps.

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Seconded as a leo female. I usually keep my own problems to myself to deal with but last year I had to learn that sometimes it's best not to bottle up emotions and to seek help when one needs it- it was ahard lesson to learn, given my leo stubbornness. But it's usually really hard for a leo female, because speaking from experience, those feelings show our vulnerability, which we hate to show. With all due respect, my two cents (I could be wrong) is that right now, she is looking for a pillar of strength and support-something constant and stable while she deals with whatever it is that she has. Being emotional right now could really confuse her as it puts more pressure on her while she is trying to deal on her own - without dragging others (including you) in. Try not to take it too personal- she's probably trying to get through her dilemma ASAP, which means she's not seeing how things are for you on the other end right now. Pushing the subject further while she's coping might just rile her up and cause her to lash out.

Just my thoughts.

I told her I care a lot about her and I think that either confused her or made her angry.

I just don't understand. She doesn't want me to care about her?

Posted by leejt86
I told her I care a lot about her and I think that either confused her or made her angry.

I just don't understand. She doesn't want me to care about her?

This needs more info to reply to. Did you say, "I just want you to know I care about you"? And how did she reply?

I know for me, when I'm dealing internally with things I don't want to be distracted. If I think my mood or openness will bring you down or make you worry, I will shut down emotionally and get VERY withdrawn (to protect you) and that can be annoying when I've already got enough to deal with. I don't want to add you to the list if things to fix.

@Leo strong thats exactly what I said.

She immediately changed the topic. I asked her why she did that and she said she doesn't care that I feel that way.

My impression was that she doesn't want to deal with it.

So, I'm going to be honest...there's one of two things going on. 1. She changed the subject to avoid having to hurt you by saying she doesn't feel the same. But you asked her why she did that and she answered. Or 2. She can't feel right now. I get *numb* when I'm stressed. And I mean numb about everything. Either way, back way off. Especially if you care. I've lost relationships because I felt like I couldn't breathe. And I was well aware how they felt about me. She knows. So allow her to do what she needs...no matter what.

I think it's number 2.

I think I might have come on too strong.

Honestly I'm hurting a little

Then whatever you do, do not...I repeat, do not let her know you are hurting. It may sound strange but I would view it as weakness (no offense!) and it would stop me from pursuing anything, ever. I need someone who I can count on to handle me and my emotions. If you can't, I'll hold the door open for you...literally. If she calls you, just act like its any other day and nothing happened.

My question is, should I bother still trying to pursue her at this point? If so how should I go about it

I feel like she sees caring as a weakness and doesn't believe any guy could care about her.

That part I don't understand

Posted by leejt86
I feel like she sees caring as a weakness and doesn't believe any guy could care about her.

That part I don't understand

I agree with Seraph's reply but I'll do my best so that you understand the caring is a weakness thing.

Caring is not a weakness. Caring (IMO) means you ask if I need something, I say no and we're good. You thought enough to ask and were content with my response. Done issue.

The weakness so to speak comes in when people assume we need help. We probably don't. We're fixers. And for other signs, caring means you needing feedback or validation. If I care about someone they know. 100% no mistaking it. I tell them, I show them, I tell them again lol. We're passionate and intense and pursue what we want. Again, this is how I am but I think most Leo's are the same. So when something happens that we need to fix, we want to fix the issue. Not have to validate someone who wants to help us because we don't need the help (unless we ask for it). We just see a second issue arising and get frustrated.

Basically Mr. Virgo, keep walking!

Posted by Leostrong

Posted by leejt86
I feel like she sees caring as a weakness and doesn't believe any guy could care about her.

That part I don't understand

I agree with Seraph's reply but I'll do my best so that you understand the caring is a weakness thing.

Caring is not a weakness. Caring (IMO) means you ask if I need something, I say no and we're good. You thought enough to ask and were content with my response. Done issue.

The weakness so to speak comes in when people assume we need help. We probably don't. We're fixers. And for other signs, caring means you needing feedback or validation. If I care about someone they know. 100% no mistaking it. I tell them, I show them, I tell them again lol. We're passionate and intense and pursue what we want. Again, this is how I am but I think most Leo's are the same. So when something happens that we need to fix, we want to fix the issue. Not have to validate someone who wants to help us because we don't need the help (unless we ask for it). We just see a second issue arising and get frustrated.

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That makes a lot of sense. I guess I was expecting something else when I told her I cared.

I want to help, I want to be there for her but if she's not coming to me I guess I can't do anything

Posted by seraph
Keep in mind also, that being Sun-ruled, Leos are less inclined to talk about their problems, comparatively. Provided their chart isn't too afflicted with conflicting elements and placements, Leos are more apt to self-counsel and get busy lifting others up (and themselves) instead.

Speaking for myself, at least, I'd rather talk things out (and only when really necessary) than seek answers for things for which I already know the answer. And most of the time, we already (and not just Leos) know the answers. It's accepting them that's sometimes the challenge.

The worst thing someone can do is try to prod me talk about my "problems." I already got em handled, thanks, or in the process of. Make me feel good instead. Lift me up. Do your own thing and let me watch, admire, and enjoy it right along with you, whatever that is. Because most of the time, our *big* problems are actually insignificant, and we end up understanding that as time passes. The worst rarely - if ever - comes to pass. Leos realize this inherently, and would rather get busy on something else than dwelling on things that are created by the mind anyway, rather than external events.

+1

....exactly! 🙂

Seraph everything you said makes perfect sense.

A few days ago I asked her how she was doing she said "not good but I'm good at pretending"

That should have been my queue that she didn't want to talk about things.

I don't like sensitive men at ALL. I dont like me who talk about emotions or men who cry. If she called you girly it's a wrap. You will never become ungirly in her mind. She views you as soft so now she has to play the masculine position which is making her resent you for being who you are. You should go find a Cancer or Pisces woman. They would probably love your emotional-ness. If you don't leave her alone Lee she is going to become mean and spiteful. To me she is already there. To tell an adult male that he is acting girly , well you might as well bend over or something. She doesn't sound very nice and honestly you could probably do a lot better.

I'm not in a relationship with this woman. I thought we were closer than we were but I guess I was wrong.

I would rather have a friendship with this woman than nothing. She wants to still be friends so I guess I'll have to settle for that

So she told me today what she thought was girly.

She said she thought if we had an argument that I wouldn't be able to handle it. And she thinks I think she's mean when she teases me.

It was all just her assuming what kind of person I was.

Posted by leejt86
So she told me today what she thought was girly.

She said she thought if we had an argument that I wouldn't be able to handle it. And she thinks I think she's mean when she teases me.

It was all just her assuming what kind of person I was.

Definitely makes sense! I over explain and say jk wayyy too much. It's because I've hurt people unintentionally when I was only joking. As far as the handling arguments, I get over things FAST. It's done, over and in the past. You have to be able to listen, not take it personally (!) to move on and not constantly bring up the past.

It sounds good, just be cautious. It can be difficult to know the difference between people we love (as friends) and those we want to love (as more than friends). Good luck!

I think she's testing me. I think she wants to see what will get to me, and how long i'll stick around

She flat out said to me she'll get mean one day just to see what i could handle. She might have been joking but I couldnt tell.

I think we need to get to know each other better before this relationship can advance.

Posted by leejt86


She flat out said to me she'll get mean one day just to see what i could handle. She might have been joking but I couldnt tell.

Welp................you've been warned. Whatever happens after this you are going to have to accept the role you played in it as a willing participant. She can only so what you let her do.

She sounds psychotic.

If it were a test, I think you failed because you were supposed to say..."Bitch get a life" (she would have loved that) or something else to let her know you don't appreciate threats because that's what that was.

What is your Mars placement Lee? You gotta fight fire with fire.

my birthday is 9/14/1986

hers is 8/8/1989

not really sure how to figure that out.

but she's psychotic and i love it about her, she pushes me to better myself