Just Killed it Off with Leo

This topic was created in the Leo forum by AriesinLuuuv on Sunday, March 3, 2013 and has 39 replies.
So, I had some problems with the way he was doing things...sent email saying as such. Silence ensued. I don't do silence well. Wanna dial up crazy??? J-UST-IGN-OREME...its a long distance number straight into your own HELL! I do not like being caught in limbo not knowing where his head is at. And I will do anything to get resolution, even if it will permanently fuck shit up. At least then I can go on with some semblance of peace not days of uncertainty. Fuck that. I haven't even cried yet...hmm, maybe I won't...
After numerous txts, a few calls, and in person attempt to gain contact, I flipped...left the Fuck You voicemail and then just this eve sent an email titled Parting Shots and Credits (they love everything in their life to be like a movie, right?) Muthafuckers. Anywayyyy, the final email is heartfelt and honest. I wonder if/when he'll be back...I wonder if I'll be a wuss and take him back...I wonder..I wonder...
Here is my email:
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Well, you win. But really you lose. We both do, but you will not find another who will care more about you for you, not for what you have, than I did. You HAVE to know that. I have an 8 month track record! I know in my heart we had something ultra-special. I came to love that we built our relationship upon enjoying each other without distraction, without basing a good time on spending money, or on the dumb traditions that ordinary people do when dating. I knew that I my attraction and affection for you was pure. I adored you. It IS hard to let go because I knew we could grow to be the best of best friends. I would do anything for you. Would always have been desiring of your time, your touch, your laughter, your kisses, your sex.

I will never believe that you were just deceiving me or playing a game with my head and heart. I tossed off the "stones" that all my friends threw, although at times it was hard. I believed in us. I came to feel that the whole way in which we met, when we did, with my dumb situation forcing us to take it slow and the time its taken me to get out on my own, was for a GREATER reason -- to give us that time for you to learn that I wanted you for YOU. I know you??ve felt that other women only wanted you to take them out and spend cash, and most will be that way. I also felt that had you wined and dined me, lavished upon me with ???stuff??, I would probably have even questioned my OWN motives. I had dated and almost married a man once before who was very well off and did those things. Ultimately, I felt that perhaps I did like the treatment more than I liked him??_so I ended it. I want love, not stuff. Stuff is nice, but I want to know that if the stuff is gone, I still have a best friend and lover and can be just as happy with next to nothing.

So I am bummed that after 8 months of your patience, you gave up on me ??_and in such a cold manner. But your victory is complete. Eventhough I got super pissed today (I told you once the worst thing to me is being ignored, it dials up my crazy)??_

??_I will miss you.
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Do I need to change my dxp name on here to AriesNoLongerinLuuuv ???
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Wow. I don't even know what to say. Sad
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I write a good email, don't I? I've almost started to cry...perhaps the wine will help.
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I'm so sorry to hear, I feel you, I DO! I've been in limbo with my Leo since the day we met. He loves me, he hates me, we talk, we hang out for weeks, he ignores me for a month or two, he comes back.
It's not fair.
Aries are strong, we need to start acting like it and let the Leo crawl into his own sorry hole and make him beg for us back. Take control. Fight as hard as you can to show you are the front runner, the first and only, the one IN control. Don't let him have his way.
If he goes, it's his own fault, he'll definitely come back, and keep trying. Show that boy he can't mess with the Ram.
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Holy crap! Leo's DO lie! He txted me! LOL! Said he wasn't home yet. I said "you had candles burning last night and were snoring before midnight. I told you...silence makes me crazy. But nice try. You're not one to lie, don't start now. Kisses to you always"
Suddenly I feel empowered...
(yes, I stalked... see how to dial up crazy ^^^^ )
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Um, by the way, if you use gmail and want a "read receipt" use SpyPig.com...free, no sign up. and its awesome. I saw exactly when he read my email and it must've gotten to him...ha! I don't want a power play, but will take up the sword if pushed to.
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AriesInLuuuv, i don't know if age has got anything to do with it, but these days, if i don't see the interest being returned, i lose interest too. there has to be give and take, you might worship someone and be content with them not showing love in return, but that can only last so long. eventually you are going to want more for yourself from him. i can do anything for you, sounds all sweet and nice, but that will not keep you happy in long run, if you are the only one doing things for him.
i know it is easier said than done to give up on someone you love, even if he is not returning your feeling at same level. but trust me when someone who does show interest comes along, your feelings for the one who does not start fading, and you start getting attracted to the one who does. it's basic human nature to want love for self too, nothing wrong in that. at this point nothing will make sense also, you will just wish for him to come back. but if he does not, and you meet someone else who loves you, cares for you, you will forget the first one, trust me.
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I'm an Aries in a similar situation. I meet a Leo man on a online game. We started talking on the phone, very serious about meeting each other. He's so sweet and funny. Friday I sent him a text.
How bout I hop on a plane, I'd be there tonight.he told me to hold off. Ok, I'm an Aries..spontaneity ifs my thing. I didn't text him or call him the rest of the da we usually talk all day via text or calls. Nothing Friday night.Saturday I get a fb msg "what's up?" I responded, then he didn't. He's still playing our words with friends. But no . Annoying! I'm like Wtf? Of choose I wanna call him so think I need to wait. Why do they do this?
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Posted by raerae2one8
I'm an Aries in a similar situation. I meet a Leo man on a online game. We started talking on the phone, very serious about meeting each other. He's so sweet and funny. Friday I sent him a text.
How bout I hop on a plane, I'd be there tonight.he told me to hold off. Ok, I'm an Aries..spontaneity ifs my thing. I didn't text him or call him the rest of the da we usually talk all day via text or calls. Nothing Friday night.Saturday I get a fb msg "what's up?" I responded, then he didn't. He's still playing our words with friends. But no . Annoying! I'm like Wtf? Of choose I wanna call him so think I need to wait. Why do they do this?


Well this one sounds married.
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And that, my dear Aries, is what it feels like being at the recieving end of karma smile
Don't you have some poor sucker stasced away somewhere that you can play with in a hard time like this? Or have you grown tired of mind games?
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P.S. And surely you mean the Leo killed it off with you? Winking
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and they say Leo's are drama.
He's been on the end of your brand of "dial up crazy" (which for some reason is a personaity characteristic you appear to be most proud of) before and was trying to avoid it perhaps until you dialled back, which you dutifully didn't. Instead you tell him of the sheer greatness he has just lost, i'd imagine he doesn't feel like he lost anything other than a thumping great headache.
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Posted by raerae2one8
I'm an Aries in a similar situation. I meet a Leo man on a online game. We started talking on the phone, very serious about meeting each other. He's so sweet and funny. Friday I sent him a text.
How bout I hop on a plane, I'd be there tonight.he told me to hold off. Ok, I'm an Aries..spontaneity ifs my thing. I didn't text him or call him the rest of the da we usually talk all day via text or calls. Nothing Friday night.Saturday I get a fb msg "what's up?" I responded, then he didn't. He's still playing our words with friends. But no . Annoying! I'm like Wtf? Of choose I wanna call him so think I need to wait. Why do they do this?


why does who do what? Do you mean normal men who form online connections with another and don't jump up and down with delight when that connection wants to suddenly pack her nightie and bestest sexy underwear, jump on an aeroplane and land on their doorsteps for the weekend? Do YOU find something strange about HIS behaviour?
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Posted by ninjafish
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by feb16aqua
So he read your email and then pretended he didn't? lol.


What if he was going to get back to her at a later point in time?
Surely things like spypig etc just play on the fact that more and more people expect a reply instantly/at their whim? To me this would seem like obsessive behaviour.


Hell yes. I frequently open an email from my phone, smile, and get back to it a day or more later. Doesn't mean anything. And especially if it's a "heavy duty" sort of email, one might feel they need some time to cogitate on it before responding.
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Yup
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Posted by AriesinLuuuv
Posted by raerae2one8
I'm an Aries in a similar situation. I meet a Leo man on a online game. We started talking on the phone, very serious about meeting each other. He's so sweet and funny. Friday I sent him a text.
How bout I hop on a plane, I'd be there tonight.he told me to hold off. Ok, I'm an Aries..spontaneity ifs my thing. I didn't text him or call him the rest of the da we usually talk all day via text or calls. Nothing Friday night.Saturday I get a fb msg "what's up?" I responded, then he didn't. He's still playing our words with friends. But no . Annoying! I'm like Wtf? Of choose I wanna call him so think I need to wait. Why do they do this?


Well this one sounds married.
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Lol, two aries thinking there is something up with a man who doesn't want a stranger hotplaning it over to him. Oh of course he's married, why else would he decline such an invitation.
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Posted by feb16aqua
I wonder if he's going to respond to your email at all or if it's really done?


He responded rather quickly but via text. He never emails. He tried to diffuse the situation, but without apologizing or acknowledging my hurt. If he really didn't care about me, he would have kept silent. I was stopping the barrage of attempts at contact. It was done and he could've had peace, but he didn't. He made several attempts at excuses, which to me says he doesn't really want it to end, but he also wants to maintain his pride and not tuck his tail between his legs. Unfortunately, his excuses aren't what I need. I said my peace. Once again, I will attempt to wait and see if he'll change his tune when he begins to really feel the loss.
To the detractors: The guy that I spoke of in my other topic is now a dear friend. We talk and text all the time and confide in one another. Where's the karmic backlash in that? All seems to have worked out to me.
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Ariessss,
I may be slow but I dont quite get your OP. What is it you are upset at him about?
His ignoring you or some other things he's done? Just wondering since I seem to be out of the loop. BTW..how old is this guy?
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BGP, it started with him asking for my help with getting his truck and telling me to "hold on" so I held on and waited (delaying any things I needed to do) and he never got back to me...til 3 days later and never said sorry..just asked a question about how my first day at work was. Then I said I wanted to talk to him because i was disappointed about how I waited and he agreed to talk...but then never got back to me. Then a few more days went by and I told him this is unacceptable in friends, let alone someone special and he never got back to me. More days go by and I txt, call, etc and nothing. Finally I send a heartfelt email about how I will miss him and why I felt we had something special, but I couldn't do this anymore...THEN he txted me...but he just says he's been busy with work... no kind words or apologies.
I saw he read my email to him 4 times and I know he DOES care about me, but I can't go along with his excuses anymore. He knows I've been separated for over a year and my divorce is almost final, but he just maintains that he can't fall in love with a married woman. For me, this worked in the beginning..I was not this close to the end, but now its just lame and if I get this sort of callous treatment NOW, how can I expect different when we've been together a while and things get tough?
I held onto the way he was and the things he said to me in person when we were together for a long time, but I want off this rollercoaster ride. Its making me sick.
Just last night when we were texting AGAIN and getting nowhere I said my goodbyes and he comes back with "wtf do you want me to do?" so I don't think he REALLY wants it to end, but maybe he just doesn't want to lose his puppet. Oh well.
Thing was, he was not as good looking as those I usually date, was rather chubby, and the sex could have been better honestly....but I still was crazy about him...HIM for HIM. He will miss me (especially when he tries to date girls with looks on par (or better perhaps) than mine and all they want is him to blow cash...something I never cared about.
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Marrakesha, I am in total agreement.
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BGP, I forgot to add...we're both 43.
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So as I continue to read over and over and over how Leo goes radio silent with people and that it may just mean they need space but they don't ever seem to be able to COMMUNICATE that, I am feeling like I shoulda just chilled out and let him be without this whole drama.
Jeeebus Criminy....
Are Leo's just bad communicators? If he does come back (and I take him back) am I dooming myself to this rollercoaster? How is it that Leo/Aries is supposed to be such a good match? He's wayyyy too patient and quiet and I'm wayyyy to impulsive and need answers NOW.
How do other Leo/Aries manage this???
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Because I'm weak...and I don't fall out of love THAT quickly.
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I try never to give advice on what someone to do, whether stay or go, cus after all i only know what one side is saying.
What I would say is based on what I see in YOUR actions since you've shared them and I assume them to be true. Im wondering where your moon is cus you are wayyyyyy emotionally charged up and act out the emotions in your calls, texts, email. Then now, you crash...and come to the realization that you made a mistake and should've just done nothing. The drama of the roller coaster is also by your participation. He doesnt cause the coaster to roll alone. And you have the option to get of any time you like. But it seems the drama is part of your make up with him. Take it from this semi-retired drama queen.
Your ego is also greatly affected...when you said "If I take him back"....the guy you just kicked in the emotional balls, who hasnt come back and you're saying *if*? The game of cat and mouse is on again....hopefully like me, one day you will spin yourself out and fall into a heap of desperation and want to be rid of this emotional game of high and low.
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This is me speaking as a leo woman and what I have done in the past and also what I see my leo guy friends do. When we care and love someone we go 100% in the relationship, we might be a little hesitant in the beginning but when we love when we care its with full force. On the other hand we could like someone but at the end we love ourselves more and we can be immature in certain things like... we keep people on the string in case we need our ego's pumped up. We might give a little for that person to stay and if we see the person is falling for our manipulative ways we figure "Hey its their problem" With the same hand while doing this we do like to please people because we love to be loved and liked, so we might feel guilty and try to make that person feel okay for a short while again to keep them near incase we need that boost. I've done that before not proud of it, and I have matured a lot along the way to notice that my actions truly hurt people and now I do things a different way. Like if I am really not into a person I just cut it all off and move on instead of keeping them stringing along. But there is a very definite way of how we address things and how we make things right from a person we truly love and care for 100% and we invest everything in them versus a person we like their company but that person we know we won't keep for the long run. Sometimes we tell ourselves HEY ITS BETTER FOR THAT PERSON TO HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF ME THAN NOT HAVE ME AT ALL. We feel we are doing you a favor not the other way around. We feel we are the trophies not the other person. My leo friends that are male are very much like this. They truly believe they are a gift to women, and they love the little drama girls can bring, doing what you said you did to him shows you are obsessed with him and he likes it, but doesn't mean he cares for you to really invest in you 100% . Excuses is not somebody caring for you its somebody just keeping you a bit longer until the next great thing comes along. Especially if its a repetitive thing. Just could be he is not all that mature of a Lion. At the end of the day all we know of this guy is what you have said only you know the deeper details of this man. So I believe astrology goes so far. From all I read about leo woman doesn't define me as a person to the T. I've put my chart here for people to read and it was a hit and miss I don't put faith in it 100% but again I also do not understand it 100% .
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How to know is what I said when we are 100% in we are 100% no if buts or excuses. We will be 100% honest we will let our emotions show. If we just like your presence but we truly are not thinking of you in the long run, you will know because you will question the relationship, you will always be in doubt. We will do the push and pull thing. Push and pull thing I think for us is done because we are bored but again we might like the attention you give so we pop in and charm you to stay. If we are 100% invested in you you will know because it will be very very evident. If you feel like you're in a yo yo relationship somedays you think the leo loves you the next you don't that tells it all. But at the end of the day if you are in a relationship like that with anybody its because you are allowing it. Do not expect anybody to change for you because it will not happen.
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See sometimes we might be with a person that is a great person for us, but remember we believe we are the trophies we never believe the other people are trophies. So yes sometimes LEOS do let go of people who would be good to them. But reality for us will always be we are never limited in the choices we have in picking our partners. We believe we are the selectors and we will act as such. When we pick a person that we truly want to embark on a long run relationship we can let our egos go it might be a process but we will never EVEr want that person to doubt our love for them. And we will take the necessary steps to keep the relationship strong and we will be loyal, and we will compromise within reason for the relationship to progress. We will be direct with our feelings and direct with how we address that person's feelings. And we will invest greatly emotionally. Leos are one of the most romantic people in the world. So when we love someone believe me there is NO QUESTION about it that person will never ever ever be in doubt of where the Leo stands with them.
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Ok, I'm not sure my Leo DIDN'T show me how much he cared for me. He was always verrrry affectionate and said lots of future talk things, like when talking about how much fun we are together and I poopooed it a bit saying I didn't think it'd always be that way, he'd say he felt we would or talking about getting an RV to live and travel around in...one with a very thick wall between us and my son so he wouldn't hear my (hehem) screams or the places we were going to go. He also said once when I commented on the baby plants he gave me that at least I could never say he never gave me anything, he said something to the effect of 'just you wait' (remember, he's stated he would not fall in love with a married woman, which until my divorce is final...I am). He's commented on how "VERRRRY" patient he's being about the whole thing.
I think what happens is he gets pissed when I get insecure and question it all. He tried to tell me he was just working over and over and I just kept at him. He even said "This is really strange (my name). Please stop." Buuuut I didn't.
So...I am not sure. I think that he is dead set on his word not to fall in love with me while I'm married but when we're together his emotions get the better of him. He says he feels he can tell me anything when we're together. He's talked about how we wouldn't have these arguments when I'm divorced.
I do feel that I wished I'd just handled things differently. More maturely and had a little more faith. It may be done now. At this point, he is probably still angry, but also sitting back on his haunches...waiting for me to crawl back (because I've done so before when I've gotten insecure and wigged out). So I'm sure he thinks he'll hear from me at any moment. I know I cannot. I said "Bye" and I have to stick to that.
As far as "being the prize", I'm not sure. He sometimes sounded really down on himself. Calling himself "fat fuck". I hated that. Alternatively, he was always SOOO good at telling me how pretty I looked, my eyes and grunting his approval of my sex appeal and how cute my outfits were. He could hug and kiss so tenderly. Aww..I'm a lil sad thinking about that.
I suppose if there's any truth to how Leos are, and if he really indeed has feelings for me and it wasn't just for his own shits and giggles, one day he may return.
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Correction: I said I could never say he never gave me anything and HE said "just you wait"
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Ariesinluvv all I can say is we are great with words...we can be the best manipulators. But words are just words if its not backed up with actions. All I'm saying there is a huge difference between when we are serious serious about someone... We back up what we say. Versus when we just want to keep somebody stringing on we just say what we think they want to hear. I have done this talked about the future with someone really because I just wanted to hear all the great things that person would say... If i said anything bad about myself again it wasn't that I was insecure it was just me wanting the person to affirm how great I am.You can call it pathetic but it is what it is. We can be some selfish mofos especially if we are in the immature phase, we really do everything for our benefit. All I can say again is IF YOU HAVE DOUBT where the Leo truly stands with you because the leo SAYS one thing but the every day actions are another... That should tell you all you have to know. Honestly that goes regardless of sign the person is. For me all I can go by is from what you have said what I read is he loves that you are obsessed with him he could very much like you and your presence but his actions is showing that he does not mean what he says. You are his ego booster. That is just my opinion based on what you have posted.
Like look example you went and put that thing to track if he read your email or not you said he read the email 4 times. I can guarantee you he read it 4 times and only the parts where you said great things about him...that is why he read it 4 times not because he sees you are hurt. He might see you are hurt but the focus is HIM. If a leo truly hurt someone and they truly care they go out of their way to go and make it right. We are over the top type of people... The fact that he just called you and lied and gave you excuses is not a leo having your best interest in mind. You are trying to read between the lines but all you need to know is up on your face. Him using that you are not divorced yet is just again that an excuse so HE doesn't feel bad about himself or guilty nothing to do with you guys progressing in the right direction in the future. Just see the whole picture for what it is stop hanging on to some moments and things he has told you. You might actually lose the right person because you are hanging on to this Leo. If you make him the trophy he will suck all the energy out of you without any hesitation.
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Wow. I hear you, but my mind cannot fathom such coldness....
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Honestly, I see so much differing info on here...its hard to know what's what. I think I'd do best to keep my course and see what happens. What's done is done.
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Ariesinluuv.. if it helps I've been in a on/off with my Aries woman 5 years to date. Lots of fighting and separating.if
both aren't on the same page. So I suggest just being mindful of each other emotions and make common sense decisions from it.both tempers
an get easily out of hand. I'm a Leo male.its not easy trying to read an Aries woman. From my experience my Aries woman often explodes in emotional bursts when having to talk about relationship issues when in conflict. Logic is thrown out the window when discussing,heavy intense arguements because if touching on a sensitivetopic she would react so recklesly.but I'm not perfect either. I'm just as ready to fight as she is. But there are times when I try to calm her down and explain her emotions instead of springing into fight. But I always feel like all the fights we have is an attention thing. Anyways always with this pairing there'salot of talking. Read his body language if you want to know hawhat he's really thinking.he can talk the pants off of you tho..
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Thanks cashxleo! He certainly CAN talk the pants right off of me...with massive charm...but we've never plopped right into bed..he seemed to enjoy the lead up..hours of talking, touching, kissing and such.
I am in a good place right now. I think we're both on the same page and agree to keep things cool until my divorce is final. I finally feel alright with that...like there's no point in pushing anything and will wait to see what he's like at that point.
My friends all poo-poo him, but he has been totally straight with me about his 'morals' on falling for a married woman. Can I really feel badly about that? No. When we're together he seems to lose touch with keeping his emotions in check and when we're apart I think he says to himself, "Whoa. I gotta keep my head about me."
Ive only got 3 months to go til all is final. At this point, I feel there's nothing to lose by keeping the relationship on the burner - on low. Its not like I won't go out and enjoy myself in the meantime! (If he thinks I'm just sitting home, he's nuts! lol)
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Posted by Jynja
Posted by AriesinLuuuv

My friends all poo-poo him, but he has been totally straight with me about his 'morals' on falling for a married woman.


What in the world is that?

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Maybe shyt talk him?
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When I was a child and got sick my mother said "I'm taking you to see Dr. Poo Poo".
I never wanted to see a doctor who was made out of shit. Sad
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poo poo: (v) to talk bad about; trash talk
Does this term make me sound old or like a mom? lol
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Posted by AriesinLuuuv
poo poo: (v) to talk bad about; trash talk
Does this term make me sound old or like a mom? lol


weeelll.....i'm old and a mother and i knew exactly what you meant by 'poo poo' LOL!!
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