So I’ve previous posted about this Leo I’m still dealing with. It’s being a good 5-6 months of ups and downs with some struggles. We’ve had a period of time where communication stopped because he wasnt expressing himself but when I sent him a text expressing I wanted to “end this cycle of stagnation” he quickly sent numerous text and called several times to work things out. He expressed that my private life scared him but I expressed I’ll let him in more if he opened up more and could be someone I could trust. But it’s been a couple of weeks since our talk and I feel like it’s still not much effort on his part. Thing is I really do care for him and the way our bond is when we’re together is freakin scary good. We just connect. Should I just leave him be and move on?? He told me was falling for me and his behavior shows it but he expresses nothing to me. He doesn’t compliment me, he doesn’t send cute text, he doesn’t plan things for us to link up. I’m just so confused!
well specifically he said that I don’t talk about my kids with him and it was shocking to know I had a set of twins because I don’t post about them or anything. I told him upfront that I had twins but he acts like they didn’t exist. If I’m dating someone we’re not going to discuss my kids until I’m forsure you’re going to be around long enough. Not everyone gets the chance to meet my kids
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Aug 04, 2015Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Bad Leo! Why do you even care? He is to be dumped and forgotten! Don’t waste time.!
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Sep 14, 2018Comments: 224 · Posts: 556 · Topics: 16
If you exclude someone from knowing certain parts of your life, they won't open up or trust you.
I told him upfront that I had them and even shared my professional maternity photos with him. But I don’t know how many of y’all have kids but bringing a man around your kids and having a rotating door isn’t too good for their development and how I personally feel about attachment.
I’m sure he thinks the same.
He doesn’t want to get close unless he is sure of his feelings because he doesn’t want to be part of a rotating door.
But if I’m trying to open a bit more and he’s completely not trying is there anything else I can do? I’ve asked him to spend time to build intimacy because I thought sharing how I feel about him would be better done in person than over the phone and because he appears to do better in person rather than on the phone. But he hasn’t made time for me and would ignore that part of the text message when I ask him to spend time. I know he doesn’t want to let this go because if I don’t text him back quick enough he’ll keep texting me or research something I’m interested in and send it to me. I feel like doing the research to find ted talk videos and podcast center around my interest shows he can put in the work. I just don’t know what to do at this point. Walk away or being patient with this man that I know we will be amazing together.
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Jul 04, 2017Comments: 0 · Posts: 110 · Topics: 10
Oh my, at this point maybe no one is patient enough to give you any more advice, they only question because this whole thing is not okay. I appreciate the fact that you're testing water or you have some seriousness about your private life (twins), and that you're afraid of opening up. So that's you, and you have every right to be so even when other single moms are not like that. You're you.
Then he's he. He is someone who treats people nicely, who talks charmful and expects other people will reciprocate. He doesn't care if you have kids or anything, it's not the kids thing that's been going on, it's the genuineness. It's the thing that he opens up, and gets to know you and he expects you to be the same but after a while he keeps finding things out. What else do you still keep hiding in the dark? And this whole thing you're so emotional and busy focusing on the fact that he doesn't open up the way you want him to be. It's you, you, you, you, you. But in order to be you, him, you, him, you must be geniune as he was when you two got to know each other.
Now both of you have passed that stage, and if he believes you're a woman with secrets he will not be patient enough to understand that you have your own decision or you have your 'time' of sharing or so. The fact that so many people find this 'private thing' of your so normal because to everyone it's normal. Not that everyone don't have kids, but they don't feel the need to keep it hidden because you're afraid emotionally you would land someone who don't stick around.
Have you ever wondered if a perfect man comes along, and when he finds out you had kids he would then not stick around? I think that is a thought to consider too. Think about him, think about how you treat him and how he treated you equally. Cause if you want a rship to work out, it must work out from both sides, and besides you I don't think anyone would care if you have your own 'time' of sharing private things. What about him?