Leo steadfastness.. Does he mean it?
This topic was created in the Leo forum by isadora2008 on Tuesday, July 1, 2008 and has 12 replies.
Oh he's drama, I remember my leo allowed his baby mom to move with him because her lover put her out of the home, they didn't last 5 days before the fighting began, he did some messed up stuff by showing off how desirable he was with me and did this to DELIBERATELY anger and enrage his baby mama, well it worked and she flipped the hell out and he went to jail over it for like 3 or 4 days, he had this if you don't want me someone else will want me and proved it which caused a huge mess. I wasn't in the relationship that long, it was fairly new relationship when this happened and I said NOTHING, I did NOTHING, I didn't make a big deal out of it and went on with my life. He came back to me, apologized to me and I never had to deal with that again.
I would walk away, he wasn't ready for you, he just needed an ego boost to deal with the lack of love attention and affection he's getting from his baby mom. Sorry that you had to be mislead like that. Read up on leo men, they fall in love quickly and soon after fall out of love even harder and faster.
If your leo is serious about you he will FIND you, Leo men loving is pretty head trippy, you can get sucked in pretty easily because it feels good but its emotional WORK. If you push he's going to run into his baby moms arms, don't push, sit still and go silent on him, go away and go do your own thing.
Gook luck and let us know how things work out
I would walk away, he wasn't ready for you, he just needed an ego boost to deal with the lack of love attention and affection he's getting from his baby mom. Sorry that you had to be mislead like that. Read up on leo men, they fall in love quickly and soon after fall out of love even harder and faster.
If your leo is serious about you he will FIND you, Leo men loving is pretty head trippy, you can get sucked in pretty easily because it feels good but its emotional WORK. If you push he's going to run into his baby moms arms, don't push, sit still and go silent on him, go away and go do your own thing.
Gook luck and let us know how things work out
Thanks for the advice. I will sit still. He did propose though.. And he's a good man with a huge heart.
I do know that he's not going to run to her arms. She now outweighs him by about 250 lbs and no longer likes men...
I do know that he's not going to run to her arms. She now outweighs him by about 250 lbs and no longer likes men...
Yeah but you have to step back and realize a marriage proposal after a few days of knowing someone is scary and not realistic, I think you may have allowed yourself to want to believe its feasible for it to be real, his backing up has more to do with him and probably little to nothing to do with his baby mom, he more than likely felt the pressure of the reality of what he did and saw a way to bow out and think it over. Leo men can't be forced to do anything they don't want no matter whats going on, this can be a very selfish sign and trust when I say if his baby mom even attempted to run his life she would feel the wrath of an angry territorial King lion. I know because I have seen it and experienced it.
Don't under estimate his feelings for his family, leo men are very protective of there families and like I tell all women, your only hearing his side of the story and as much as a woman wants to believe there is no possible way a man would choose a woman like the one he had his child by well it happens all the time. Don't believe his story unless she can corroborate what he says. There is always truth meshed in with non-truth.
He can see you while he deals with her, the very fact that he's not doing it means he's taking a vested interest in possibly making it work, don't be foolish, see it for what it was and what it is and let it go...if its nothing he will be back and he will make his intentions towards you real and true.
Don't under estimate his feelings for his family, leo men are very protective of there families and like I tell all women, your only hearing his side of the story and as much as a woman wants to believe there is no possible way a man would choose a woman like the one he had his child by well it happens all the time. Don't believe his story unless she can corroborate what he says. There is always truth meshed in with non-truth.
He can see you while he deals with her, the very fact that he's not doing it means he's taking a vested interest in possibly making it work, don't be foolish, see it for what it was and what it is and let it go...if its nothing he will be back and he will make his intentions towards you real and true.
Actually lemme clarify...for him it was real at the time, it meant just as much as it meant to you, he was in his NOW moment and at that moment it felt good, it felt right, yet reality set in and he's second guessing his decisions....I had to check my cynicism....sorry. I do believe if you do NOTHING and allow him the space to figure it out for himself, he will soon come back around.
Thanks tiki - When you say do nothing, do you mean don't answer his calls? Or do you mean don't call him... We only started this hiatus a few days ago... Exactly what does do NOTHIN mean?
To clarify, per my understanding...do nothing means don't initiate talks about his issues with his ex, don't give advice, listen and let it go, don't go over to his house uninvited, don't push him to talk about his feelings for you or push to make a choice, don't push him to choose, allow him the time and space to see his ex for who she is and give him time to remember why he didn't want to be with her.
You will have to exercise your Aries confidence and give him the impression that your empathetic but your not stupid, your not waiting around for him, now I know you only have eyes for him but this is the time to date other guys *not sleep with* but date and hang out with friends and take the focus completely off of him.
The less pressure he feels the more attractive you become and he will come towards you instead of leaning away from you, the more you lean into him e.g. push and nag the more he leans back away from you, you have to relax and lean away from him by doing what makes you feel good, what makes you feel happy which may be hard but you must find a way to nurture YOU during this hiatus, happy people are hard to ignore and stay away from.
As for communicating, its best to allow him to call you first, seek you out, I don't say this in a play games kind of way but I say this b/c it will show you he's still interested and serious about you, if he's calling you well it means your still on his mind and he misses you but you won't know that if your calling him all the time, plus allowing him to initiate contact will help keep you from feeling anxious, keep you from looking for him and looking desperate for him and possibly messing with your self worth. If he calls you, of course talk to him, keep it short simple and sweet.
You have this place to vent and ask questions, use it, your going to need it d:
These are only my suggestions, take what you can from it okay
You will have to exercise your Aries confidence and give him the impression that your empathetic but your not stupid, your not waiting around for him, now I know you only have eyes for him but this is the time to date other guys *not sleep with* but date and hang out with friends and take the focus completely off of him.
The less pressure he feels the more attractive you become and he will come towards you instead of leaning away from you, the more you lean into him e.g. push and nag the more he leans back away from you, you have to relax and lean away from him by doing what makes you feel good, what makes you feel happy which may be hard but you must find a way to nurture YOU during this hiatus, happy people are hard to ignore and stay away from.
As for communicating, its best to allow him to call you first, seek you out, I don't say this in a play games kind of way but I say this b/c it will show you he's still interested and serious about you, if he's calling you well it means your still on his mind and he misses you but you won't know that if your calling him all the time, plus allowing him to initiate contact will help keep you from feeling anxious, keep you from looking for him and looking desperate for him and possibly messing with your self worth. If he calls you, of course talk to him, keep it short simple and sweet.
You have this place to vent and ask questions, use it, your going to need it d:
These are only my suggestions, take what you can from it okay
Nice to have the support. He called after 24 hours. I was positive, upbeat, etc... he had injured himself and sounded sulky. I just said I was there if he needed me.
One thing that I don't understand. He ends every phone call by saying 'I'll call you when I get done with such and such in a few hours.' Whether I need to hear from him or not, and whether he actually does call me after he gets done with such and such, he can never just say 'goodbye.' Is this some kind of control tactic? Does he always want me to be waiting for his call. He also always asks me what my schedule is regardless of whether we're going to see each other, and regardless of whether he would actually remember it..
And he almost always ends with 'Love you', which is nice but I'm not used to saying that all the time, so I don't. His ex calls all the time when we're together and he certainly does not say that to her, so I guess it isn't just a catchphrase.
One thing that I don't understand. He ends every phone call by saying 'I'll call you when I get done with such and such in a few hours.' Whether I need to hear from him or not, and whether he actually does call me after he gets done with such and such, he can never just say 'goodbye.' Is this some kind of control tactic? Does he always want me to be waiting for his call. He also always asks me what my schedule is regardless of whether we're going to see each other, and regardless of whether he would actually remember it..
And he almost always ends with 'Love you', which is nice but I'm not used to saying that all the time, so I don't. His ex calls all the time when we're together and he certainly does not say that to her, so I guess it isn't just a catchphrase.
Isadora2008, listen to Tiki, she knows what she is talking about. It seems like you both got caught up in the moment, and like many have stated, reality shook him to his core. If you really like him, then the best thing you can do is let him know you are there for him (when HE contacts you), and just do your thing.
Just an additional comment -- my prior comment was not meant to suggest the feelings you both expressed are/were not real to you both, as I'm sure you both felt each other, or you wouldn't have gotten carried away the way you did.
More advice please! I guess the hiatus is over whenever he feels like he wants to see me. (i.e. this morning for a few hours.) But there is another aspect that I'm really having trouble with. It is becoming very clear to me that he needs to be in control of every aspect of our communication.
Its not the amount of times he calls. He's only let a day or two slip by in over a month. Its that he'll call and after a minute or two he'll say 'oh.. let me take this, I'll call you back in a few minutes.' And then I won't hear from him til the next day. If I call back, he won't answer. It is totally maddening. I know I'll hear from him, but it is NEVER up to me when. I have no idea how to address this because he'll just say...'oh things just got crazy. Its happened about five times now.
Does anyone else have any ideas how to handle this in the 'patient, positive, etc...' manner?
Its not the amount of times he calls. He's only let a day or two slip by in over a month. Its that he'll call and after a minute or two he'll say 'oh.. let me take this, I'll call you back in a few minutes.' And then I won't hear from him til the next day. If I call back, he won't answer. It is totally maddening. I know I'll hear from him, but it is NEVER up to me when. I have no idea how to address this because he'll just say...'oh things just got crazy. Its happened about five times now.
Does anyone else have any ideas how to handle this in the 'patient, positive, etc...' manner?
Does anyone else have any ideas how to handle this in the 'patient, positive, etc...' manner?
Yes, BASICALLY DON'T CALL HIM AT ALL! Most Leo men LOVE the chase. He doesn't want you to sit down and say, here, you can have me I am yours. Nope. You have to very, very, independent and DON'T make him a priority in your life. Period. Don't even expect alot of calls from him. If you are not his number one, he is not going to call you all the time anyways.
I know I don't call my man at all. Rarely, if ever, barely, hardly. I just don't call out and people HATE that about me but I don't. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and I am a FIRM believer! He does not want to be the center of your universe and most Leo's like to put in work for you in a cautious manner.
If he is rushing, he is just trying to win your heart and NO don't let that happen. Let him earn your love, don't just give yourself away freely to him. If you let him just HAVE you he will disappear so quick. We pretty much like to put in work but you have to show some love back. Do little things for him. Nothing major.
Do everthing periodically. Not regularly. Send him a msg like once every blue moon out of the blue if you know what I mean.
I think that's men in general; most of the men I'm friends with or date do NOT like to talk on the phone (hence text messaging was probably invented by a guy - all my male friends LOVE texting). With the Leo men, they are even more "phone adverse." It doesn't mean they won't talk to you on the phone, or that they don't use the phone though, they will from time to time. My Leo and I rarely talk on the phone, but there are times we've talked for like 2-3 hours on the phone, so there are no absolutes. The bottom line is to let them come to you, and only initiate very FEW contacts with them. About 80% of my interactions with my Leo are done by him; I rarely will contact him first, and if I do, a lot of times it's computer related (since he's an IT/computer Guru). I've made mistakes in this relationship too, but I'm learning quickly from my mistakes. Bottom line, make them come to you. I think someone else used the analogy of a cat. If you run up on a cat, they will a. scratch the hell outta' you and run or b. simply run. But, if you let them come to you, they will....eventually, as they will case you out and see what you are all about and then come to you. I've owned a lot of cats and every single one of them operated the same way at the onset. Sure, some were more loving than others, but anytime people came to my house and just bombarded them, they would take off and not be seen or heard from for days.
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