need an ear about my leo right quick...

my leo does this thing where he says he will call me at such and such a time and doesn't. mind you, he never lets a day go by in which he doesn't call and tells me how much he misses me, but i HATE when someone tells me they are going to do something and does not do it -repeatedly. also, he will take a call and tell me he will call back after he gets off and, guess what? he doesn't. so, he did that last night. his family was in town for his son's graduation and he was all excited to see his family and i understand all that. but then he took a call from his aunt, said he'd call back, and didn't until the next day. i didn't answer the call and really don't feel like talking to him at all right now.
my question is, after i do finally feel like talking to him, should i let him know verbally how all that shit gets on my nerves or should i just distance myself when he does that ugly stuff?
what say you, leo men?

ok...i am getting it. you know, i act like this, too...to everyone, except him. it's exhausting to establish something at this stage with him when i can't connect with him when i need to. on that note, i will tell him. if the end result is negative, i am gonna start dating others. not sexing, just dating. or maybe just kinda phase outta him.

damn, i hate relationships. ugh.

don't pay the last part of that post no mind...i just get really bitchy spoiled and dismissive sometimes. lol!

Posted by msX
my leo does this thing where he says he will call me at such and such a time and doesn't. mind you, he never lets a day go by in which he doesn't call and tells me how much he misses me, but i HATE when someone tells me they are going to do something and does not do it -repeatedly. also, he will take a call and tell me he will call back after he gets off and, guess what? he doesn't. so, he did that last night. his family was in town for his son's graduation and he was all excited to see his family and i understand all that. but then he took a call from his aunt, said he'd call back, and didn't until the next day. i didn't answer the call and really don't feel like talking to him at all right now.
my question is, after i do finally feel like talking to him, should i let him know verbally how all that shit gets on my nerves or should i just distance myself when he does that ugly stuff?
what say you, leo men?

Does he acknowledge it and apologize?

And like someone mentioned-- don't do the silent treatment; he'll have no idea why you're doing it, if you don't tell him.

🙂

he won't acknowledge it...initially.
like any other gripes i may have (and i haven't had many), he will TRY to fix it but won't discuss it further than saying "i heard you" if i ask if he heard what i said.

oh, yeah...lots of times when he hasn't called back or whatever, he will start the convo off with an apology. i forgot about that.

You hate it when someone tells you they are going to call you back and they don't.

This gets on your nerves.

As you stated you hate it when someone tells you they are going to do something and they don't.

THESE ARE YOUR PROBLEMS AND NOT ANYONE ELSE. Look inward not outward.

So why not figure out a way to not let this small stuff get to you?

So what is this really about...I will tell you. You feel like you are not a priority or that you are not important enough. Despite the fact that he calls you daily.

This has nothing to do with your Leo and it has everything to do with you. You can give him the silent treatment and play games if you want to but a neglected Leo man will not remain neglected.

In the words of Booby Womack "If you think you're lonely now, wait until tonight girl." Hmph

being a sag, i despise lies, especially unnecessary ones.
that's just one of those lies that i find bothersome when they really should be considered mundane and, therefore, ignored.
i like that explanation, seraph.
naia13, yes, it gets on my nerves and i am having a problem with it, but i am also in a relationship and my problems are as valid as his and can be addressed as well, so...

I do it all the time and you know why because sometimes I am tired of talking or I don't feel like talking but I can't very well say that can I ?

Nope if you say to someone, I don't really feel like talking then something must be wrong. Perhaps, you would rather read, or write or watch tv or go to the bar or go to the mall or clean up the house or listen to music or cut the grass.

What do you say? How do you say it without upsetting the other person? It's nearly impossible. So I simply say, I will call you back. I don't mean it to be harmful or hateful I just want to do something else.

There are also the times when people take and take and take. They bitch and complain and gripe about life and work and relationships. They simply withdraw from my peace and serenity account with depositing anything. So when my balance is getting low I gotta go. It's really that simple. I must shift the atmosphere and the only way to do that is to end the phone call.

oh...one more thing - his repeatedly telling a lie says nothing about how much of a priority i feel i am in his life or lack thereof, it just makes me wonder, if anything, why he feels the need to say something he has no intent on doing...ALL the time. does he think i want to hear that?

gosh...typing this all out makes me want to laugh at it all...the things we say as little "niceties"...lol!
when i see the ridiculusness in the action, it seems so trivial...

it is a lie, no? or, what else would you call it?
it may be trivial, but you don't find it ridiculous? and unnecessarily so?
hmmmm...so wierd.

to answer your question, though...i don't want him to feel like he has to say that "lie" at the end of a conversation because it just diminishes something about him in my eyes.

touche. 😉

Posted by msX
it is a lie, no? or, what else would you call it?
it may be trivial, but you don't find it ridiculous? and unnecessarily so?
hmmmm...so wierd.

to answer your question, though...i don't want him to feel like he has to say that "lie" at the end of a conversation because it just diminishes something about him in my eyes.

It is only a lie if when he says it he has no intention of calling you back. If this is the case then yes it is a lie.

If this is the case then ask yourself why does your man feel like he has to lie to you about something so... um as you put it "trivial".

If someone lies to me, before I get mad at them for lying I tend to ask myself why do they feel they can't tell me the truth.

That's just me though. I usually try to fix myself before I try to fix someone else.

My only objective here is to try and get you to look at this through the eyes of someone other than yourself.

thanks...makes sense. i need to know!

You are very welcome.

dammit!
i can never trip this brother up!
okay...he said he is a grown man, if he doesn't want to do something, he is not going to say he will.
he has every intention on calling me, but he gets wrapped up.
got my answer.
he even acted like he was clutching his pearls a bit when i asked him about this, like, "well, i never!"
he asked me why i was asking...i said because you almost never call back and most people tend to use it as a formailty of sorts.
he said that i should stop grouping him with others because, as he told me before, he is not like others.
so, maybe i'll just calm my ass down and quit tripping...and, no, he didn't say that...lol!

you fucking adorable leos...ugh.

Hmm--

I don't ever forget about the person I'm dating like this, much less to the extent I wouldn't return a phone call.

They usually take up an enormous part of my thoughts-- can't help it.

If I don't feel like talking, but have committed to call-- courtesy text, anyone?

"I'm exhausted, talk tomorrow? You're amazing-- g'nite!"

Simple.


I DO get distracted and forget to call people back-- but not someone I'm dating/over the moon for.

Nope.



🙂

that's how i feel, montgomery...exactly. but, you know, the more i live, the more i try not to project my habits/thoughts/actions onto others.
but i guess if he was all around perfect, he'd be MORE nitpicky about me...you know how those venus in virgos can be 😉

The Leo guy I just started to date has done the "I'll call you tomorrow" and NOT called twice. He usually texts daily, and calls every other day. But, it was 2 days ago he called and said he'd call next day. Nada. No text, nada. I texted today, he replied with a "sorry I havent gotten back with you". And no call.

So What am I gonna do? Go out and have a great weekend!

I'm a leo too. No grass is growing under my paws. 🙂

msX

This isn't just a leo man thing but as others pointed out a leo thing. I am known to do this, especially with a lot of things going on.

I have recognized this and have made changes in my approach. I now say "I will try to call you back" or to some degree with the disclaimer that I have lot going on and if I don't that is why. And if I forget, I apologize for not calling when I said I would.

I don't think he is avoiding you or ignoring you, just that busy busy leo thing. He is prolly even thinking about, man I need to call her, maybe after this...then something else comes along.

Then he has family in town, he is in his element and being the all social and accomodating leo making sure everyone is having a great time and happy.

...and, then, he calls me thrice today and tells me to call him when i get to work - and he actually answered the phone!
so, i talked to him four times today and texted while he was doing a show.
what a sport.
he sure knows how to make me feel secure without making a big deal about it.

Posted by msX
that's how i feel, montgomery...exactly. but, you know, the more i live, the more i try not to project my habits/thoughts/actions onto others.
but i guess if he was all around perfect, he'd be MORE nitpicky about me...you know how those venus in virgos can be 😉

I do! I am one, myself 🙂

And I should probably emphasize that I am a Leo woman who (historically) does not get along well with Leo men, in relationships.

Posted by msX
...and, then, he calls me thrice today and tells me to call him when i get to work - and he actually answered the phone!
so, i talked to him four times today and texted while he was doing a show.
what a sport.
he sure knows how to make me feel secure without making a big deal about it.

click to expand

Also, this ^ reminded me that during working hours, I would not be inclined to engage in much outside communication.

You don't appear to expect that, in any way-- just mentioning that commitments like that would take precedence.

And you said "thrice"-- love that-- he'd be a fool to let you get away.

😉

awwww, montgomery, thanks!

the more i see this leo creature, the more i realize that conventional advice never did/does apply to him.
if anything, he is definitely teaching me many lessons and restoring my faith in humanity and its relationships.
i really don't like the lesson on patience, however...lol