Need some Leo Love from the Pride....

Posted by TheLioness79
I was up fretting all night with Dumbasses choices and the effect it will have the children especially the boy. Then he had a scuffle with his sister and as I was speaking with both he stomps out and slams his bedroom door. Oh he is 9 and has never been violent in his life until his dad left the country. He was throwing his drawers out of his dresser onto the floor. I got into the room and battle ensue as I try to get him to the ground. It is one of those hold onto them as they go through the fit and ensure them they are loved and OK. This is only thing left to do. I am 7 weeks out of lumbar spinal fusion and on blood thinners for blood clots in my lungs from the surgery, so this was not best idea for me, but did it for him. I got him through the outburst and then his panic attack. I got him into the doctors. We are all (three kids and I) in family counseling and they want me to take it further with him. I am just dying inside my baby hurting and sad and I can't fix him.
I just need love I am withdrawing myself from everyone as I usually do because I do not like or trust people with my vulnerably. Here I can hide myself. I am just worn on all aspect, Physical (and in pain), mentally and emotionally. My heart is broken for him and the girls.
Wow, I really sound unstable. LOL, people say I am such a strong woman, but if they only knew I was holding everything together with a string and it is being held there for them. People can not even guess on the outside what the hell the life is right now. We will make it, the four of us. We just need to get there.

Posted by xdimplez
Stay strong lioness.
You are the glue in the family, the bond that keeps them together
You are wanted , you are needed, you are loved
You just gotta keep being strong, and keep moving forward

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by TheLioness79
I was up fretting all night with Dumbasses choices and the effect it will have the children especially the boy. Then he had a scuffle with his sister and as I was speaking with both he stomps out and slams his bedroom door. Oh he is 9 and has never been violent in his life until his dad left the country. He was throwing his drawers out of his dresser onto the floor. I got into the room and battle ensue as I try to get him to the ground. It is one of those hold onto them as they go through the fit and ensure them they are loved and OK. This is only thing left to do. I am 7 weeks out of lumbar spinal fusion and on blood thinners for blood clots in my lungs from the surgery, so this was not best idea for me, but did it for him. I got him through the outburst and then his panic attack. I got him into the doctors. We are all (three kids and I) in family counseling and they want me to take it further with him. I am just dying inside my baby hurting and sad and I can't fix him.
I just need love I am withdrawing myself from everyone as I usually do because I do not like or trust people with my vulnerably. Here I can hide myself. I am just worn on all aspect, Physical (and in pain), mentally and emotionally. My heart is broken for him and the girls.
Wow, I really sound unstable. LOL, people say I am such a strong woman, but if they only knew I was holding everything together with a string and it is being held there for them. People can not even guess on the outside what the hell the life is right now. We will make it, the four of us. We just need to get there.

Life is unstable; YOU are not.
Obviously.
That string is stronger than you think.
This too shall pass, and you're right-- you will make it.

click to expand

Posted by Jynja
At least you're holding everything together...
String, saliva, storage containers or whatever, you're holding it together...
that's what matters
You'll do fine. Can't say I know how it must be with 3 kids, but I know a lioness will scour the rest of the jungle till she can find food for her cubs. The sun strengthens us and so sending you sunny hugs

Posted by Jackstobo
Spoken like a true Leo. From the outside everyone thinks we are holding it all together and super strong. On the inside, we just want to disappear and live in a cave. One thing I know, I have never hit a broken point and actually given up. I would need to be dead! Stay strong girl!!

Posted by MountainLeo
I look at this like climbing a big mountain with a 3 day approach, concentrate on your next step, sure look up check out the view from time to time, but only look at the thing you need to deal with now, do it right, do it well. Do it over and over until you get to the top.
It looks like you are doing that though, just looking at the big picture for too long and too hard. I get into this too, kind of going through the same thing myself.
One problem at a time, done to the best of you ability, in a way that leaves you with a clear conscious.
By the way, I think you are dealing well with what has been put before you, it's too big though, so don't look up & if you do only a glance. Just try to be in the moment.

Posted by seraph

Posted by TheLioness79
We will make it, the four of us.

I am a lion , and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep
with sheep. I will hear not those who weep
and complain, for their disease is contagious. Let
them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure
is not my destiny.

click to expand

Posted by christinelovessnickers
*hugs* everything will be fine. It may not seem like it now because things are always worse before they get better. When did your son's outbursts start?