OK so here I am!
This topic was created in the Leo forum by FUM on Thursday, July 4, 2013 and has 20 replies.
Thank you so much for the link, Kalin. I'm just reading through the 'Fallback Girl'. Nice tile.. very explanatory.
Posted by kalinPosted by FUM
I understand that this time he will never contact me again.
He will contact you again, trust me on this.click to expand
Yep-- agreed.
He will.
I like to say, No.. not going to happen again.
I'm even thinking on leaving country.
I'm even thinking on leaving country.
I wasnt here during the back story..but...Girl please! He 's stalking you...thinking about you all the time! And he will be back. Us damn leos, we may get hurt once over it, but we'll keep coming back for more - as long as you show you can't live without us! LOL
Posted by SunMoomLioness
I wasnt here during the back story..but...Girl please! He 's stalking you...thinking about you all the time! And he will be back. Us damn leos, we may get hurt once over it, but we'll keep coming back for more - as long as you show you can't live without us! LOL
Meaning...if you want to get rid of him, show him you don't want or need him any more by cutting him completely off. You're feeding into his ego. He could be USING YOU to get his wife to fight for him. Don't be a pawn in HIS chess game!
Woman to woman.....you know what he is doing. You know what he has done and keep doing. He will be back because you always let him back. Do you want to keep tearing yourself apart on someone who does not have your best interest at heart. You are nothing but his fallback girl. The one in the wings. So you have a choice: YOU can move on and NOT answer any communications or continue to allow yourself to be used. Choice is yours. I know you have feelings for him, but sometimes the hardest decisions we have to make in life are the healthiest ones. As as you can realize you are being true to you, you will make it through the hurt and pain.
Its a vicious cycle... but it I tend to agree with Seraph, you haven't hit the bottom yet. Once you realise what your own happiness means to you, cutting him off won't be so hard!
We've all been there, some of the slower learners like myself are repeat offenders... So don't be too hard on yourself at the moment but in a couple of days you need to pull your socks up lady!
The nice fluffy stuff over-
1. I think its time you also considered the fact that you are allowing this man to potentially destroy 2 (!!!) lovely woman by thinking of nothing but himself
2. He has told you he won't leave his wife and family
3. You are missing out on anything/ anyone and everything else
4. He is keeping you happy because it is easiest for him- if you are happy he gets his little bit on the side. It is actually the laziest option- how hard is it to keep you on the string for this man?? Do you keep him waiting/ ignore his calls/ texts/ emails or are you ALWAYS at his beck and call with these little bits of attention being all it takes to make you happy?
5. You are doing yourself mental/ emotional harm by allowing this to keep happening. Each and everytime there is another sliver of your self esteem chipped away and that stuff takes forever to build up again.
The worst thing about being a scorp- obsession/ need to control.
The best thing- regeneration! and the scorp poker face.
Fake it! Fake being okay- being over it- being 1000x better than this *man* until it is actually true! No-one (except us DXPers) will ever know what it cost you/ took to get through it!
As I mentioned, I'm a sucker for a bad relationship and/ or man and this ^^ is nothing I haven't told myself (or been told!). I'm not trying to be a bitch, just trying to give you a few tools that helped me through my rough patch.
Wallow for a little bit, then get out there and live your life
We've all been there, some of the slower learners like myself are repeat offenders... So don't be too hard on yourself at the moment but in a couple of days you need to pull your socks up lady!
The nice fluffy stuff over-
1. I think its time you also considered the fact that you are allowing this man to potentially destroy 2 (!!!) lovely woman by thinking of nothing but himself
2. He has told you he won't leave his wife and family
3. You are missing out on anything/ anyone and everything else
4. He is keeping you happy because it is easiest for him- if you are happy he gets his little bit on the side. It is actually the laziest option- how hard is it to keep you on the string for this man?? Do you keep him waiting/ ignore his calls/ texts/ emails or are you ALWAYS at his beck and call with these little bits of attention being all it takes to make you happy?
5. You are doing yourself mental/ emotional harm by allowing this to keep happening. Each and everytime there is another sliver of your self esteem chipped away and that stuff takes forever to build up again.
The worst thing about being a scorp- obsession/ need to control.
The best thing- regeneration! and the scorp poker face.
Fake it! Fake being okay- being over it- being 1000x better than this *man* until it is actually true! No-one (except us DXPers) will ever know what it cost you/ took to get through it!
As I mentioned, I'm a sucker for a bad relationship and/ or man and this ^^ is nothing I haven't told myself (or been told!). I'm not trying to be a bitch, just trying to give you a few tools that helped me through my rough patch.
Wallow for a little bit, then get out there and live your life
Posted by TheLioness79
Woman to woman.....you know what he is doing. You know what he has done and keep doing. He will be back because you always let him back. Do you want to keep tearing yourself apart on someone who does not have your best interest at heart. You are nothing but his fallback girl. The one in the wings. So you have a choice: YOU can move on and NOT answer any communications or continue to allow yourself to be used. Choice is yours. I know you have feelings for him, but sometimes the hardest decisions we have to make in life are the healthiest ones. As as you can realize you are being true to you, you will make it through the hurt and pain.
+1
Posted by LilliLou
Its a vicious cycle... but it I tend to agree with Seraph, you haven't hit the bottom yet. Once you realise what your own happiness means to you, cutting him off won't be so hard!
We've all been there, some of the slower learners like myself are repeat offenders... So don't be too hard on yourself at the moment but in a couple of days you need to pull your socks up lady!
The nice fluffy stuff over-
1. I think its time you also considered the fact that you are allowing this man to potentially destroy 2 (!!!) lovely woman by thinking of nothing but himself
2. He has told you he won't leave his wife and family
3. You are missing out on anything/ anyone and everything else
4. He is keeping you happy because it is easiest for him- if you are happy he gets his little bit on the side. It is actually the laziest option- how hard is it to keep you on the string for this man?? Do you keep him waiting/ ignore his calls/ texts/ emails or are you ALWAYS at his beck and call with these little bits of attention being all it takes to make you happy?
5. You are doing yourself mental/ emotional harm by allowing this to keep happening. Each and everytime there is another sliver of your self esteem chipped away and that stuff takes forever to build up again.
The worst thing about being a scorp- obsession/ need to control.
The best thing- regeneration! and the scorp poker face.
Fake it! Fake being okay- being over it- being 1000x better than this *man* until it is actually true! No-one (except us DXPers) will ever know what it cost you/ took to get through it!
As I mentioned, I'm a sucker for a bad relationship and/ or man and this ^^ is nothing I haven't told myself (or been told!). I'm not trying to be a bitch, just trying to give you a few tools that helped me through my rough patch.
Wallow for a little bit, then get out there and live your life
+1
Well said.
Posted by LilliLou
2. He has told you he won't leave his wife and family
Another woman to woman, and I am a Leo and so is my ex husband. (No judgement is being made.
This is what I told the chick that my ex cheated on me with early in our marriage when I had our 9 month old and 4 months pregnant.
I am the ONLY Mrs. X. You may think you have him. But you don't, this is only temporary. He WILL be back to his wife and children.
Mark my word, took a few months but he came crawling back.
Why be that? Why be with someone who is already given to someone else. Most women think that man will leave. He won't or he will go back if she lets him. Plus only 25% of these type of relationships last. Why? The relationship is based on lies.
... fum loves drama, and will fight to keep it ... I would have thought that to be obvious ...
Posted by Jynja
Where did he ever say he won't leave his wife, Fum? I think I missed that part. Or, is Lillilou making assumptions about what he might have said to you?
I think she may be referring to this line, in the OP.
Posted by FUM
And guess what? I acted stupid enough to say, if you HAD to choose, you would choose who, your wife or me? DO not tell me the answer (I know already).
WHY WHY WHY???
Posted by seraph
Told ya.
That's alright.
You haven't hit bottom (or the wall) yet. With his help, you'll eventually bring yourself to a place where you can make a clean break either from disgust or indifference.
Posted by LilliLou
Its a vicious cycle... but it I tend to agree with Seraph, you haven't hit the bottom yet. Once you realise what your own happiness means to you, cutting him off won't be so hard!
We've all been there, some of the slower learners like myself are repeat offenders... So don't be too hard on yourself at the moment but in a couple of days you need to pull your socks up lady!
The nice fluffy stuff over-
...
The worst thing about being a scorp- obsession/ need to control.
The best thing- regeneration! and the scorp poker face.
Fake it! Fake being okay- being over it- being 1000x better than this *man* until it is actually true! No-one (except us DXPers) will ever know what it cost you/ took to get through it!
As I mentioned, I'm a sucker for a bad relationship and/ or man and this ^^ is nothing I haven't told myself (or been told!). I'm not trying to be a bitch, just trying to give you a few tools that helped me through my rough patch.
Wallow for a little bit, then get out there and live your lifeclick to expand
Agree-- it's interesting how "faking it" works-- that is, eventually, you aren't faking it, anymore-- it becomes genuine.
Good stuff, Lillilou.
Posted by P-Angel
... fum loves drama, and will fight to keep it ... I would have thought that to be obvious ...
Well-- you know what they say, p-gel: If you spot it, you've got it.
It's a little variation on the old adage, "Takes one to know one."
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by P-Angel
... fum loves drama, and will fight to keep it ... I would have thought that to be obvious ...
Well-- you know what they say, p-gel: If you spot it, you've got it.
It's a little variation on the old adage, "Takes one to know one."
click to expand
Who's "they"?
you?
Meanwhile, Fum will continue to rant .... no matter what anyone says
You are welcome to leave, P!
Why are you reading anyway if rant is all you see?
Let me put it this way, don't try to get yourself up on the pedestal by demeaning others. There are better ways in resolving your low self-esteem.
Why are you reading anyway if rant is all you see?
Let me put it this way, don't try to get yourself up on the pedestal by demeaning others. There are better ways in resolving your low self-esteem.
@ Jynga- I'm still in the process of getting over mine... He's not completely out of my system yet, but I'm getting there! 3 weeks without seeing him- which has helped to disengage emotionally. And I am trying to keep the friends door open to him (in a little bit, if I can manage it) as anyone who is familiar with my situation will know how my Leo has managed to royally screw up his life in the last year... I don't think he's even realised the full extent yet and he'll need compassion when he does.
Mine is more like a 12 step programme Fum, but those are some good points that I hoped might resonate with you! Feel free to add and subtract as necessary. But I really think you deserve 100% of a relationship instead of the crumbs.
Also Fum, I'd love to strangle your Leo- staying for the kids??!- its a terrible idea which I hate hearing!! It will be damaging the children seeing the interplay between parents and why would they stay together and be miserable when the would be happier apart? And anyone who tries to say they keep it away from the children is being ridiculous- children use empathy and intuition as a SURVIVAL skill! Grr... Sorry to deviate but this line of reasoning just does my head in!
@Montgomery- I think that is the most amazing part of the human psyche- our ability to construct a reality based on our will/ desire... Faking it til you make it is a fantastic example. And like a get out of jail free card to those of us who have a fair dollop of pride and would do anything to avoid seeming desperate post break up. An awesome strategy!
Mine is more like a 12 step programme Fum, but those are some good points that I hoped might resonate with you! Feel free to add and subtract as necessary. But I really think you deserve 100% of a relationship instead of the crumbs.
Also Fum, I'd love to strangle your Leo- staying for the kids??!- its a terrible idea which I hate hearing!! It will be damaging the children seeing the interplay between parents and why would they stay together and be miserable when the would be happier apart? And anyone who tries to say they keep it away from the children is being ridiculous- children use empathy and intuition as a SURVIVAL skill! Grr... Sorry to deviate but this line of reasoning just does my head in!
@Montgomery- I think that is the most amazing part of the human psyche- our ability to construct a reality based on our will/ desire... Faking it til you make it is a fantastic example. And like a get out of jail free card to those of us who have a fair dollop of pride and would do anything to avoid seeming desperate post break up. An awesome strategy!
He he... Another post to the Leo board taken over by the scorpio girls. You have got to wonder if we are the most stubborn/ fatalistic sign of the zodiac? Especially where Leo men are concerned!!!
In a nutshell mine is broken... And made one big mess for himself lately! Jynga summed it up very eloquently in another post but the nuts and bolts of it is that he cannot or does not want to be in a relationship with me... And you know what? That means that NOTHING I say or do matters. Its not about my wants/ needs/ behaviour/ expectations/ history etc. Its all on him.
^ That is why I am walking away.
I guess I am lucky to have an aqua asc kick in, but honestly ladies I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I miss him, still wish things were different, wonder who he'll end up with, wonder what else he'll do to stuff things up but I just have to remind myself that he isn't interested enough and that is reason enough to let go.
I'm human, I think there is a chance I'll stuff things up again with the next one but I'm kinda getting interested in the possibilities. So think I am through the worst! He might even be a Leo...? They are pretty cool cats and I think I have learned a little bit hanging around on dxp.
So if little old me with all my hang ups and foibles can get through it anyone can! Engage the poker face and let what ever happens happens...
In a nutshell mine is broken... And made one big mess for himself lately! Jynga summed it up very eloquently in another post but the nuts and bolts of it is that he cannot or does not want to be in a relationship with me... And you know what? That means that NOTHING I say or do matters. Its not about my wants/ needs/ behaviour/ expectations/ history etc. Its all on him.
^ That is why I am walking away.
I guess I am lucky to have an aqua asc kick in, but honestly ladies I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I miss him, still wish things were different, wonder who he'll end up with, wonder what else he'll do to stuff things up but I just have to remind myself that he isn't interested enough and that is reason enough to let go.
I'm human, I think there is a chance I'll stuff things up again with the next one but I'm kinda getting interested in the possibilities. So think I am through the worst! He might even be a Leo...? They are pretty cool cats and I think I have learned a little bit hanging around on dxp.
So if little old me with all my hang ups and foibles can get through it anyone can! Engage the poker face and let what ever happens happens...
lolScorpio helping Scorpio now.
In my opinion, Leo/Scorpio coupling is just natural. We may have issues, but we have the fuel to make it last.
The question is, is HE the right one?
For myself I'd answer, I can imagine myself with him, but he has too many hang-ups. He has to come clear.
On the other hand, sometimes things just suddenly click. Suddenly what seems very complicated just un-knots.
In the meantime, keeping 'Poker face' seems to help neutralize strong feelings.
Posted by SexyScorpionPosted by FUMPosted by kalin
Wow.. this sure speaks truth.
Sometimes I'm not aware of why I say or do things, but this, Kalin..
describes my Scorpio side.
Some may call it 'TEST'. What it is,is we want to make sure that someone elses decision is what they want in first place.
Talking of giving up on your own wants to happiness of other.
@FUM
Dont feel bad...even if he wants to be with you he will not say it openly because of his situation and also afraid to show his vulnerability...That's just my take on this whole situation.
Seeing him struggle like this is not easy, hun. I feel bad for making him feel bad. He doesn't deserve it.click to expand
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