Question about Leos.....
This topic was created in the Leo forum by candlz on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 and has 46 replies.
This question is for Leos and non Leos too. And I apologize to the Leos on this board. Right now my Leo and I are not talking(again). To me this is a very immature way of dealing with a relationship.Are all of you Leos this way? Anyone else experienced this with a Leo and share my feelings?
Every Leo I know goes into hiding and disappears for sometimes months. The girls, the friends, the dates, even my cousin. I don't know why they do this. They eventually reappear.
(Ducks from Leos throwing things)
(Ducks from Leos throwing things)
Chocolate: The only time i will disappear on someone if there way to much arguing, controlling, manipulation and if the person is negative. I don't like to keep going over the same conversation again and again. Its mentally draining and boring to me and that person usually pushes me away from them as to the point of no communication at all.
I'm an Aquarius dealing with a Leo and I totally can concur with what was said, I tend to over think things, have issues with trust and sometimes I carry around this high strung energy and it gets on my Leos nerves.
I know for a fact that they push away due to arguing, negativity, controlling, manipulation and bossiness, these things Leos can't tolerate alot of because most have sunny dispositions and never really brewed too long over things. Chocolate made a wonderful point, maybe you can see yourself in some of that and alter your behavior (just a suggestion)
I have found that when I talk to my Leo it's ALL EGO so why argue with that, its just easier for me to say how I feel and not point the finger at him with the you did this, did that, said that etc etc...I just let him know his actions hurt me and move on from it.
I have slipped and over talked certain situations but I was drained afterwards and now I figure its not worth the effort to fight and be at odds. So now I find I analzye my feelings more and more and ask myself is it really HIM or is it some insecurity that I carry around...most times its me. Sometimes I have this urge to just LET HIM HAVE IT so I turn off my cell phone and take some me time and just get away from it all....
Being too demanding and pushy also can turn a Leo off, they just like going with the flow of every day life, I know my Leo doesn't want to rehash and talk about our relationship, he just wants it to be what it is, this is tough for me, I like to know if I'm okay with him but he makes it known to me that if it isn't he will tell me but yet I still fight the feeling to ask/discuss it.
Communication is rough with him because I'm a mental sign and he's more physical by nature..sigh it certainly feels complex at times. I can honestly say this union is teaching me patience.
I'm an Aquarius dealing with a Leo and I totally can concur with what was said, I tend to over think things, have issues with trust and sometimes I carry around this high strung energy and it gets on my Leos nerves.
I know for a fact that they push away due to arguing, negativity, controlling, manipulation and bossiness, these things Leos can't tolerate alot of because most have sunny dispositions and never really brewed too long over things. Chocolate made a wonderful point, maybe you can see yourself in some of that and alter your behavior (just a suggestion)
I have found that when I talk to my Leo it's ALL EGO so why argue with that, its just easier for me to say how I feel and not point the finger at him with the you did this, did that, said that etc etc...I just let him know his actions hurt me and move on from it.
I have slipped and over talked certain situations but I was drained afterwards and now I figure its not worth the effort to fight and be at odds. So now I find I analzye my feelings more and more and ask myself is it really HIM or is it some insecurity that I carry around...most times its me. Sometimes I have this urge to just LET HIM HAVE IT so I turn off my cell phone and take some me time and just get away from it all....
Being too demanding and pushy also can turn a Leo off, they just like going with the flow of every day life, I know my Leo doesn't want to rehash and talk about our relationship, he just wants it to be what it is, this is tough for me, I like to know if I'm okay with him but he makes it known to me that if it isn't he will tell me but yet I still fight the feeling to ask/discuss it.
Communication is rough with him because I'm a mental sign and he's more physical by nature..sigh it certainly feels complex at times. I can honestly say this union is teaching me patience.
Thats another way of looking at it...honestly my emotions speak for me and it just makes him irrational and angry, I have learned a different approach and it seems to work. I definitely take some time for myself and get out of that emotional mental state. If I feel like it needs to be discussed I will but it usually comes in the form of light humor and he seems to respond better. Honey I'm a re-hash queen and he even told me that it turns him off, not his exact words...
Sometimes I think I go too deep for him, I can hear his brain turning lol! Its like he thinks on the left and I think on the right and we clash...its better but its work still the same.
Sometimes I think I go too deep for him, I can hear his brain turning lol! Its like he thinks on the left and I think on the right and we clash...its better but its work still the same.
I asked the question hoping to get some insight into the Leo mind. And I did. Thank you tiki, chocolate and LS for your input.
As for sagiTAUries, I am not offended by your lame attempt to make appraisals of those you know nothing about, but I suggest that before you deem yourself suitable to make even fair judgements of others, you should also possess knowledge.
As for sagiTAUries, I am not offended by your lame attempt to make appraisals of those you know nothing about, but I suggest that before you deem yourself suitable to make even fair judgements of others, you should also possess knowledge.
If I knew why we weren't talking, I could probably handle this. It more than likely has to do with me, because like tiki said, I tend to over analyze everything, or so he tells me. I don't see that I do, in fact as I told him, some things tend to go right over my head. Actually, I sent him an email talking about MY feelings(not the love-y,dove-y feelings, that had/has already been established for both of us)but more of an attempt for him to know me better than he does. No place in that email did I ever indicate that 'he did this or that to me', etc. I even told him twice in that email that my thoughts were not an attack on him, it was just me talking. And I haven't heard from him since.
So, I don't think I was being bossy, manipulative,accusing, etc. etc....just expressing my thoughts and revealing a part of me that isn't visable from the outside.
I am a cuspy...but astrologically a Sag.
So, I don't think I was being bossy, manipulative,accusing, etc. etc....just expressing my thoughts and revealing a part of me that isn't visable from the outside.
I am a cuspy...but astrologically a Sag.
We had known each other(by name)for 3-4 yrs., started communicating one on one last Jan. and had our first date in June and others after that. (Miles separate us, so not easy to get together).
150 miles..
It's very possible that he is overwhelmed...yet I don't understand why if I do say something to him that upsets/confuses him, why he doesn't challenge me instead of shutting me out.
It's very possible that he is overwhelmed...yet I don't understand why if I do say something to him that upsets/confuses him, why he doesn't challenge me instead of shutting me out.
how old are you two?
Except that he plays in a band on weekends, so it's still not easy to connect.
We are both in our 50's.
We've discussed ending this because of distance, jobs, band, etc, and his words to me were this..'If we were to end this, it would break my heart'. His emails, even his last email which I received before this disappearing act are loaded with 'I love you's', you're my angel, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me', and so on. I have to believe he is serious...and if not, he's one heck of a good actor! He's the one who said 'I love you, first...in person. He has exhibited all of the other 'Leo' traits that I have read on this board pertaining to how to tell if a Leo likes/loves you.
We are both in our 50's.
We've discussed ending this because of distance, jobs, band, etc, and his words to me were this..'If we were to end this, it would break my heart'. His emails, even his last email which I received before this disappearing act are loaded with 'I love you's', you're my angel, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me', and so on. I have to believe he is serious...and if not, he's one heck of a good actor! He's the one who said 'I love you, first...in person. He has exhibited all of the other 'Leo' traits that I have read on this board pertaining to how to tell if a Leo likes/loves you.
Travel was 50/50
He's been quiet since the end of Jan.
He's been quiet since the end of Jan.
Why haven't I called him? Through reading on this board, it was said that when a Leo is in this sort of 'funk' to just give them their space. So, I did.
That's right chocolate...the end of Jan.
leokitten...I have discussed issues about him on this board in the past. Which is what others have done before me and will continue to do, so it's safe to say that the people on this board don't know the dynamics of many of these relationships that are brought before them.
ButI have to disagree with you...he took the immature way out...which was my original point of this entire thread.
leokitten...I have discussed issues about him on this board in the past. Which is what others have done before me and will continue to do, so it's safe to say that the people on this board don't know the dynamics of many of these relationships that are brought before them.
ButI have to disagree with you...he took the immature way out...which was my original point of this entire thread.
Now I think you are assuming....
Chocolate..he did this last year and you know what? It was all a misunderstanding of something I said to him. He took it entirely out of context and after I explained what I actually meant, he was fine and our relationship was fine. I would bet that if I contacted him and asked him about something that had nothing to do with our relationship, he would talk to me.
LK..where did I tell you and what did I say?
I said "HE HAS NOT SPOKEN TO ME IN A MONTH"!!!!
Valentines Day in my opinion, is highly overrated to begin with. It's just another day in my book. So, yes I am cool with it. TEHO!!
Do I want this? Not anymore than I would like a fatal disease...but that isn't/wasn't the point of this thread to begin with. Now that we have that all established that I was dumped and I was a doormat, it's safe to say this post isn't going anywhere.
Valentines Day in my opinion, is highly overrated to begin with. It's just another day in my book. So, yes I am cool with it. TEHO!!
Do I want this? Not anymore than I would like a fatal disease...but that isn't/wasn't the point of this thread to begin with. Now that we have that all established that I was dumped and I was a doormat, it's safe to say this post isn't going anywhere.
LK...and just what 'treatment' are you referring to?
Total disrespect? For who? Once agiain....I am saying HE'S THE ONE WHO HAS NOT SPOKE TO ME IN A MONTH!!! I never said I haven't emailed him within that month's time!!!!
I was dumped, I'm a doormat, leave it at that.
I was dumped, I'm a doormat, leave it at that.
LK...good grief...give it up already. You are reading into this just what you want to. No facts whatsoever. Did I ever say anything about sex? Again you are assuming...
Who said I was mad? Because I said something you don't agree with? Don't we have the right to agree or disagree without being 'mad'?
Yes, he hasn't spoken to me in a month, we've established that, and that I was dumped and I am a doormat and I have no self respect. That's basically the premise that I have been given throughout your posts.
I think enough has been said..no sense rehashing the same things over and over. For someone(a Leo)who supposedly doesn't like to rehash the same things over and over, you keep bringing it up again and again.
For ex...you asked if I enjoyed this relationship in an above post. You asked the same thing prior and I already answered you.
Yes, he hasn't spoken to me in a month, we've established that, and that I was dumped and I am a doormat and I have no self respect. That's basically the premise that I have been given throughout your posts.
I think enough has been said..no sense rehashing the same things over and over. For someone(a Leo)who supposedly doesn't like to rehash the same things over and over, you keep bringing it up again and again.
For ex...you asked if I enjoyed this relationship in an above post. You asked the same thing prior and I already answered you.
If you read my opening question, I asked if Leos are that immature in dealing with relationships. Instead of my original question being answered, I was labeled and never got an answer....so in reality my question was evaded as well.
candlz, unfortunately i have to say that i agree with sagitauries. i pull away when i feel i've been deeply wronged. i need to recuperate, let my wounds heal. i understand how silence could be viewed as immaturity, but in my mind, i am just trying to get my thoughts together, get a good perspective, regain a positive outlook if i can.
oh, and i'm not saying that your man isn't immature. it's possible he has completely different motivations than what i said (of course). but are all leos immature in relationships, no.
I'm not saying that I need to look for an excuse. And I'm not blaming his behavior on his sign. I was merely looking for a common thread as so many Leos are alike in so many ways.
"wheelhomies...keep reading."
you know, i did, and i agree (yet again). although it's already been said...he may not have dumped you for sure...but something is definitely wrong. if you perceive his behavior as immature, it's possible that there isn't enough understanding between you, or maybe you are right in believing that. if you want to deal with it, then you should coax him into the nitty gritty problem. if you truly believe he is just being immature, maybe it's not worth it.
you know, i did, and i agree (yet again). although it's already been said...he may not have dumped you for sure...but something is definitely wrong. if you perceive his behavior as immature, it's possible that there isn't enough understanding between you, or maybe you are right in believing that. if you want to deal with it, then you should coax him into the nitty gritty problem. if you truly believe he is just being immature, maybe it's not worth it.
*into revealing
it's true, we need space to an extent. but from what i am seeing, he's in a place where he is ready to be done with you, and your space giving is making it much easier to do so (as leokitten said).
it's true, we need space to an extent. but from what i am seeing, he's in a place where he is ready to be done with you, and your space giving is making it much easier to do so (as leokitten said).
well, in my opinion, no one should ever be treated that way by someone who cares about them.
Thanks WH..for your input. In my heart, I don't feel he has dumped me for sure either. I know that is going to set off some people, but the components of this relationship have not been presented, so nobody can really say for sure that he has walked all over me as was earlier stated.
In my heart, I know him and I know what he has said to me and that has to stand for something.
In my heart, I know him and I know what he has said to me and that has to stand for something.
heheh...now that sounds like a true leo. gotta respect that.
the way i see it, people get enough disrespect from others constantly. rude comments, insensitive actions...why accept that from the one person whose role is supposed to be to love and support you? i can honestly say i give 100% in relationships, and to receive less just doesn't cut it. and i think everyone deserves respect if they give it.
the way i see it, people get enough disrespect from others constantly. rude comments, insensitive actions...why accept that from the one person whose role is supposed to be to love and support you? i can honestly say i give 100% in relationships, and to receive less just doesn't cut it. and i think everyone deserves respect if they give it.
"I know that is going to set off some people, but the components of this relationship have not been presented, so nobody can really say for sure that he has walked all over me as was earlier stated."
true; we don't know the whole situation. so does that mean you're going to disregard all that has been presented here?
true; we don't know the whole situation. so does that mean you're going to disregard all that has been presented here?
the way i see it, people get enough disrespect from others constantly. rude comments, insensitive actions.
Yes, I agree. I've been hearing em' all night!!!!!
Yes, I agree. I've been hearing em' all night!!!!!
Gee, and I even have people making my decisions for me!!!
"she is going to glom to the one part of one sentence you wrote that allows her hope."
hope is a beautiful thing
. leokitten, while your efforts may be wasted on candlz, they haven't been lost to all. for one it's true that we don't have all the details of her situation, and two...people need to come to realizations for themselves. you've certainly made some logical points but whether or not she is ready to handle it is a different thing altogether.
hope is a beautiful thing
. leokitten, while your efforts may be wasted on candlz, they haven't been lost to all. for one it's true that we don't have all the details of her situation, and two...people need to come to realizations for themselves. you've certainly made some logical points but whether or not she is ready to handle it is a different thing altogether.btw, i am not trying to take anyone's side here. i don't think it's my place to say what is definitely happening with your leo candlz, just my opinion happens to be aligned with leokitten's.
"sigh wheel....you are right...some people need to be burned many times before they realiaze the candle is hot."
a lot of people
.
a lot of people
.That's fine WH. I didn't expect you or anyone else to take 'sides'.
Meet candlz...
I am a doormat
I am being used
I am being burned
I have no self respect
Guess I will just go shoot myself now!
I am a doormat
I am being used
I am being burned
I have no self respect
Guess I will just go shoot myself now!
"Chin up, dollface."
i feel somehow exposed.......
i feel somehow exposed.......
lol...candlz...
at the end of the day...this is just a message board. if you can view it lightheartedly, more power to ya
.
at the end of the day...this is just a message board. if you can view it lightheartedly, more power to ya
.I am not taking any of it to mean much. Even though some good points were raised.
* the fact is...if you have been in a relationship with someone, and they say they love you...they do not stop talking to you for a month. for no reason.
Actually, it has happened. My best friend married a Leo who, while they were dating, use to disappear for a month or two at a time, come back and claimed she was the one, he loved her yadda, yadda. She dumped him a few times because she couldn't take it. Eventually, they married. He always knew she was it for him. He just wasn't ready.
My cousin, also a Leo, does the same thing with girl friends.
Actually, it has happened. My best friend married a Leo who, while they were dating, use to disappear for a month or two at a time, come back and claimed she was the one, he loved her yadda, yadda. She dumped him a few times because she couldn't take it. Eventually, they married. He always knew she was it for him. He just wasn't ready.
My cousin, also a Leo, does the same thing with girl friends.
Oh he always missed Valentine's day, her birthday, yadda yadda.
Before they married, she hadn't talked to him for two years. He needed to get himself together. Now, he treats her like gold. He still finds it hard to believe that he missed things like V-day or would go two months without returning a call, but he to this day claims he always loved her, he just wasn't ready.
Sometimes, this isn't about you and being a doormat yadda, yadda. Sometimes, as much as you love them and they love you, they aren't ready. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. And that goes for any man.
Because waiting for them doesn't help you and it doesn't help them. It only hinders both of you because you stay stuck and have all your esteem sucked out and they don't have to face their fears. You have to live your own life for yourself. If this is making you feel bad, then it is up to YOU to do what is right for you. Sometimes the only way out of the forest is through the swamp.
Before they married, she hadn't talked to him for two years. He needed to get himself together. Now, he treats her like gold. He still finds it hard to believe that he missed things like V-day or would go two months without returning a call, but he to this day claims he always loved her, he just wasn't ready.
Sometimes, this isn't about you and being a doormat yadda, yadda. Sometimes, as much as you love them and they love you, they aren't ready. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. And that goes for any man.
Because waiting for them doesn't help you and it doesn't help them. It only hinders both of you because you stay stuck and have all your esteem sucked out and they don't have to face their fears. You have to live your own life for yourself. If this is making you feel bad, then it is up to YOU to do what is right for you. Sometimes the only way out of the forest is through the swamp.
LS, thanks so much for your input. As I said in one of my previous posts, no one here knows all the dynamics of this relationship. But I do know what he has said in person and via email, and except for this one negative, I find him to be totally on board.
And it's not like he's a 20 something yo. and trolling. He is a very straight to the point, emotional kind of guy and I have never once felt that he was leading me on.
And it's not like he's a 20 something yo. and trolling. He is a very straight to the point, emotional kind of guy and I have never once felt that he was leading me on.
Oh I doubt he is leading you on. He probably has very strong feelings for you. But you have to honestly ask yourself what you want, what you deserve, and whether he is giving it to you. If he isn't, then you need to be honest about what is right for you because, as you know, this is who he is. For whatever reason, this is all he is capable of at this time.
My friend was an emotional wreck when she walked away because she was so depleted by his constant neglect. She rebuilt her life and eventually, when he was ready, he found her again.
(Even the month they were reconciling he would run off for a few days to process information. She would freak everytime and I would tell her to relax, that this was his pattern, he needed time to process. They eloped a month later.)
When you are ready, you will know exactly what is best for you to do for yourself wether it is walking away or staying. I have every faith in you, you should have every faith in yourself.
My friend was an emotional wreck when she walked away because she was so depleted by his constant neglect. She rebuilt her life and eventually, when he was ready, he found her again.
(Even the month they were reconciling he would run off for a few days to process information. She would freak everytime and I would tell her to relax, that this was his pattern, he needed time to process. They eloped a month later.)
When you are ready, you will know exactly what is best for you to do for yourself wether it is walking away or staying. I have every faith in you, you should have every faith in yourself.
Wow this topic took off, I got alot of information from leokitten, kris, sagi and LS and LS I think you saw the situation beyond what candlz presented, although leokitten prosed alot of good points, I think you gave me more insight on leos and how they process information and deal with it.
Candlz I don't think your a doormat or any of the other things that has been said, your dealing with your situation the BEST way you know how and although I feel that you could do some things differently at the end of the day it's YOUR issue and you will do what you need to do.
I personally have decided to take 2 steps back and leave my leo alone for a while, I haven't told him this and I won't, I'm emotionally exhausted, I need to be with me for a while and let him do his thing, I believe he is afraid of commitment and it's making him act out and I'm not WHODINI and/ora psychic, I'm not going to push anymore, question, ask because I KNOW whats good for me and this isn't. I made my peace with it and will let the chips fall were they may...I can say I loved with a pure heart and I gave my best..nuff said
Candlz handle your business and only you know how to do that, if you really love him then do what you gotta do to be in his life and don't worry about the negative things that are said because WE ALL have been in this position in some form or another at some point in our lives.
Learn from it, grow from it and keep living your life the best way you know how.
peace
Candlz I don't think your a doormat or any of the other things that has been said, your dealing with your situation the BEST way you know how and although I feel that you could do some things differently at the end of the day it's YOUR issue and you will do what you need to do.
I personally have decided to take 2 steps back and leave my leo alone for a while, I haven't told him this and I won't, I'm emotionally exhausted, I need to be with me for a while and let him do his thing, I believe he is afraid of commitment and it's making him act out and I'm not WHODINI and/ora psychic, I'm not going to push anymore, question, ask because I KNOW whats good for me and this isn't. I made my peace with it and will let the chips fall were they may...I can say I loved with a pure heart and I gave my best..nuff said
Candlz handle your business and only you know how to do that, if you really love him then do what you gotta do to be in his life and don't worry about the negative things that are said because WE ALL have been in this position in some form or another at some point in our lives.
Learn from it, grow from it and keep living your life the best way you know how.
peace
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