Question for you Leos....

This topic was created in the Leo forum by candlz on Thursday, September 14, 2006 and has 45 replies.
Do you live by the notion..Whatever happens. happens? Or whatever the future brings, etc. etc., or do you say these sort of things when you don't want to commit to something or don't know how you should answer?
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Hi Candlz,
On certain situations I have the tendancy to live by the notion "whatever happens, happens". Now when it comes to relationships, in the beginning I will go into it with the mind state, however as time goes on, I know full and well that I want more than that. I know that's where I go wrong. Now I tell people in the beginning what I am looking for and see if we are on the same page. If not, then we may agreed to hang out and let whatever happens, happens. Sometimes that a good thing and most times it's not. So depends on the situation for me. I hope this helps! smile
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With other people, I am more of a "whatever will happen will happen" person. When it coems to my won life, however, I'm a go-getter. I go after what (or who) I want with a vengeance.
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that sounds like me. when life becomes too predictible i even go as far as to get depressed. I rather not always know what's going to happen..let the life fall where it lay. Of course some stability is necissary..but not too much..that takes the fun out of life. and to answer your question, i think it's what you want it to be..if you're unsure of how you feel about that certain something then you might just be saying that in order to figure yourself out. on the other hand maybe you don't want to be committed yet..all depends on how you intend it.
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Sense of adventure and living on the edge can be somewhat appealing at times.
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*** I rather not always know what's going to happen..let the life fall where it lay.
Thank-you. This explains a lot. The unpredictable, spontaneous side of Leo is hard to understand. There is all this urgency and intensity, then nothing till they circle around again. After the consistency and stability of Virgos, it is a bit odd.
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The 'whatever happens, happens' mentality depends on the situation for me too. When those words come to mind it's usually because I know something is out of my control or there is something I can't fix. And yes, it could apply if there is something I don't know how to answer. I won't say them when I don't want to commit to something. In that case, I just won't make the commitment.
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The ONLY times I use that philosophy is when I've screwed something up past the point of no return..so I think to myself, "Well, it's not in my hands anymore," OR when I'm just feeling too lazy to deal with something.
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Its funny that you would ask
"Do you live by the notion..Whatever happens. happens? etc......
I started dating my 1st love again after like 14yrs and I have ALWAYS loved this man! by the way I am a LIBRA and he's a LEO.... but the thing is I asked him like a week ago could he ever love me and would he ever allow himself to love me and he said and I quote "he paused
for like 4 seconds and said uumm I dont know, and then he said yea I probably could, yea I probably could. So I left it at that, but I went to see him friday and he said "you know I been thinking about your question you asked me, you know could I ever love you" and I said yea ok and he said "yes I could love you" 8) and then I said "but do you want to love me" and he smiled and said "if it happens it happens"! How should I take that whole conversation remember we were to gether when I was 13 and he was 15, im now about to be 28 in a week and he just turned 30 july 26th.... and I have NEVER stopped loving him!
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Hi Raynne
I am a libra dating a leo. (Well, I am dating a leo and a scorp. I digress.)
The Leo is very much whatever happens, happens. He is very the devil may care and spontaneous. We are very curious about each other but haven't been able to settle into anything yet. We are circling each other. We take the odd swipe but haven't settled down yet.
I have little doubt he is sitting across the city scratching his head about me, as I sit here scratching my head about him.
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Call your Leo LS, what are you waiting for? Libras have an innate way of baiting the hook where it doesn't look like they are the pursuer. Even if you do look temporarily like the aggressor, you will definitely catch his interest enough for him to take over.
Capitalize on love's fleeting moment before it passes you by...or before he gets hit by a bus...
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I dunno cooks. I already told him I like him and think there is something here to explore further. I told him to let me know when/if he wants to get together again. That was on Sunday night when we spoke last.
He didn't jump on the chance so I am not sure what to do at this point. I figure I will give him a few days to process.
Unfortunately, he is just as aloof and evasive as I am hence the circling without moving forward.
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But F is he sexy.
lol!
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Of course, I did that after a nice long ego massage regarding his career as he was a bit down. Not to mention I kind of bolted on our last date as I was a little freaked out and didn't call him for a week so I am sure his ego needed it but damn ... why doesn't he just ask me out? I laid it on the line. Not much more to say.
Perhaps, I should start a how to date leo men thread.
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Why did you run out on the last date? What freaked you out? Depending on the reason, he might think that you are a bit flaky. Of course we know that's not the case. Maybe your recent loss is still weighing on your mind.
Whatever the situation, just find something you want to do and invite him along. What's the worst that could happen? If you really want to prod him into action, casually (VERY casually) mention some of your male friends during conversation.
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Oh I dunno. I can be a pretty big flake. lol!
Actually, he has no idea the reason I bolted. I don't really know myself. I just had a moment of insecurity and freaked. I suddenly needed to get away and get space. I just had to go. It was too much closeness. Just too much too soon.
I think I am unintentionally sending him a lot of mixed messages. In the perfect world, I would get to know him without any emotional cross-over so I can decide if I should like him or not. I hate when emotions creep in. I am doing my best to remain detached and objective ... hence the mixed messages.
Uugh. I hate dating. It is so complicated sometimes.
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In my own defense though, it isn't as if he has said that he really likes me or anything either. He is being just as weird as I am.
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*** LS do u want to be with him and be in a Relationship or do u like kicking with who u what and when u want without no one asking u and questioning u?
Yes to all the above. lol!

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In all honesty, I don't know him well enough to know if I want a relationship with him. I do not want to emotionally attach to someone I do not know or trust. I am not sure how I feel about him because he is still a "stranger". Like all good Libras, I am terrified of making a mistake. I don't want to attach to someone only to find out I made a mistake or misjudgment because of an emotion.
I have no idea what he is feeling/thinking. As I said, we are kind of circling each other. Our conversations are intellectual not emotional at all.
I freaked because I suddenly felt vulnerable and I don't know if I should be vulnerable with this man because he is still a "stranger".
Does any of this make any sense or am I crazy?
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Oh sorry, I forgot to add ... I am not prepared to be in an exclusive relationship with him at this time.
Oddly I find the Leo way more intimidating and intense than the Scorpio. The Scorpio is easy by comparison. Maybe it is because the Leo is all air and fire making him a walking contradiction of passion and detachment?
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Damn you ask good questions!
** so u feel that u really don't know him or trust him to put your heart out there for it to get damaged?
exactly! plus, I don't know if he is a good choice for me. And no he hasn't really put himself out there or if he has, I misinterpreted it and shot him down. I think I hurt his feelings and shocked him when I said I wasn't taking what is going on with me and him very seriously, that I saw it as play not the merging of two souls in a truly intimate relationship.
why don't I ask him? Because I don't think he knows. I wouldn't know what to tell him if he asked me that question either. We have both admitted we have never met anyone like the other. I think we are both a little baffled. I can't get over the odd sensation that he is like dating myself if I were a man. It is a very weird feeling. And I would be a complete jerk if I were a man. lol!
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Yeah, I totally agree with that Chocolate does ask good questions. I've never thought about things as deep as she has with me today regarding that Virgo guy. I've come along way just today with my thought process and feeling better from it. Dr. Chocolate is in the house. smile
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LS, I think your comment was probably interpreted by him as you putting him in the "friend zone". I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for him to call.
If you want anything to happen you need to invite him somewhere and explain that you see everyone as a friend until you get to know and trust them. And that you want to get to know him better to see if there is any potential. And sprinkle a few compliments while you're at it.
You can't expect a guy to waste what little free time he has on someone who isn't interested in being more than friends...
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Chocolate and Cookie .... (hee chocolate cookie)
You both need to move closer and so you can sort out my love affairs.
Cooks, which of the many awkward, poorly articulated and evasive statements I have made are you referring to? lol! I seriously have butchered this completely which is hilarious as I am usually so smooth. But I can't help it. He unsettles me and makes me nervous. I already told him I liked him and I thought there was something worth exploring. That was the very last thing I said to him. After I told him that I wanted to see him again.
I am pretty sure I have completely baffled him not that that was my intent. I just find him unnerving.
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LS, You both need to move closer and so you can sort out my love affairs.
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I already have a full time job, but I don't mind meddling from afar Winking
I was referring to your comment "when I said I wasn't taking what is going on with me and him very seriously, that I saw it as play not the merging of two souls in a truly intimate relationship". Don't be intimidated by him, he puts his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us (except you, skirt-lover).
The woman usually holds all the cards, it just depends on how she wants to play them. Invite him out and be cool, calm and collected. I'm sure he won't be put off by a little initial weirdness. Men have come to expect that when dealing with the fairer sex. Winking
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*** I already have a full time job, but I don't mind meddling from afar
ha ha! Well played. smile
*** I wasn't taking what is going on with me and him very seriously, that I saw it as play not the merging of two souls in a truly intimate relationship"
ahh yes ... that was particularly brutal wasn't it?
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Sorry chocolate, I just saw your message now.
Yes. He is the only man who has ever unmanned me. Normally, I am social grace incarnate. I normally do and say the right thing. Everything goes fairly smooth. This time Not. At. All.
He is a free thinker who challenges social norms. As a result, I don't know the rules. It is an unstructured, free for all ... I have no idea what to do with any of it.
He just has an uncanny ability to put me on the spot. There is no hiding from him. I don't like that, yet I do.
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a little submissive? how about a lot submissive. lol!
But yes, you hit the nail on the head.
I am intrigued because I don't understand. He has peeked my curiousity. I have no idea how to win because I don't know the rules. He would say we make our own rules. But how do you play when you don't know the game?

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Could I fall in love? ... prehaps. It has crossed my mind but it is all so new. and he is SO different. I can't read him.
Yes. Of course we have. I didn't have much of a choice. lol!
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So should I approach him as Cookie suggests or allow him to come to me? What if I approach him without asking him out? What if I tell him straight out that he unmans me?
I need a strategy! lol!
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Definitely DON'T tell him he that he unmans you, ask him out and be yourself. Have a few drinks if that helps and just roll with the flow until you find out what makes him tick. All men are simple creatures no matter how complicated he may seem on the surface.
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Fine! I'll ask him out! Damn all of you. lol!
I don't think I should chase him though. I really don't. I don't think that works. At what point does it become chasing? I never ask men out. Ever.
Perhaps I should just stick to the Scorp. He is a lot less complicated and scarey.
This stupid man has me all stirred up. grrrrr....
And if I am going to ask him out, I am going to have to be clever about it.
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BTW, for cookie,
skirt: red-tweed knee-length pencil skirt,
top: off-white see through top with light pink print and underlay,
shoes: burgundy leopard print slingbacks, two inch heel.
Winking
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*** yeh he's just trying to see if u can handle him, r u up for it?
handle him how? this is where I always get confused.
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See my theory is the love being chased, but they don't like it.
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Should have read THEY love being chased, but don't like it.
They love the ego boost but if it is too much and they aren't into the girl (or sometimes even if they are) they flip it to the girl is psycho. They begin to wonder what is wrong with her that she is so willing to settle and jump through hoops for a guy who is doing nothing to win her over.
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But since I am not in love with this guy, I am willing to see what happens by following the ask him out advice.
I have so completely butchard this relationship that what is one more swing of the axe?
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He called me Sunday and we talked on the phone for a bit. I didn't mention it. Neither did he.
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But wouldn't telling him to let me know when he wanted to get together again consitute asking him out?
I am just curious. Regardless, I do think I should lob an email or a call in this week.
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Actually, I asked if I should let him go and he said only if I wanted to. Perhaps he wanted to talk longer.
Arrrggghhh .... boyz!
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Everyone needs a little ego boost now and then, LS. It's a far cry from stalking. He is obviously interested in you or he wouldn't have asked you out in the first place. Asking him out on a simple date isn't going to make him think that he has you wrapped around his finger.
You don't even have to put yourself too far out there. Find a concert or show for this weekend that you think he would like and call him up and tell him that you have an extra ticket because one of your girlfriends flaked out on you. If he's busy, no big deal and the ball's in his court. If he says yes, hope that it isn't sold out.
It's all part of equal rights, women get to share in the uncertainty of rejection...
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I am not sure it is rejection I am fearing here Cookie. Plus, I don't believe equal rights works in the love game.
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what makes you so sure he likes me?
I agree with your assessment that he has no idea of what to do with me.
*** Yeh he did want to conversate longer, why did u ask that any way?
That is the way I communicate. Part of the problem is I am unassuming and he is assumptive. Where I am deliberate, he is spontaneous.

*** does he know that u see alot of other guys?
I know for a fact he sees other people so I don't feel too bad about it. He probably assumes I see others. In fact, I would guarantee it.
How can he be the Special One when he hasn't earned it? I think two dates is way to soon for any state of the union address or relationship tawk.
Alright. I will call him tonight if I get the nerve up. Everytime I think of calling him, my stomach flips.
Sad
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And I am drinking wine before I call him! lol!
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Thanks for all your hand holding.
smile
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