Shaky Start

I started to see this Leo guy, say more or less 6 weeks ago. He's not mega passionate or anything, just slow and steady and I think enjoying us getting to know each other. Anyway (excuse the too much information) but we have tried to have sex twice and it has come to light that I have a problem with my cervix, blood everywhere that needs surgery mid September. Anyway, because of this, I feel anxious in a way that I normally wouldn't about how to progress with this guy. He knows there's clearly an issue with sex right now, and I offered that he go find somebody else and he said he wasn't looking.

But let's be real, I'm talking maybe another 6/7 weeks before I'm good to go 🙂 Do you think it's enought to just do "other stuff" in the meantime?

TIA

Mutual! Maybe in the shower it will seem less messy!

He should be ok.. This would be the perfect time to find out if he's just into you for sex.

Now by other stuff, do you mean sexually? It seems like you have serious issues with your coochie and you should just avoid sexual activities period. You don't want to accidentally slip up and then next thing you know it's a bloodbath.

Just focus on recovery, he'll be alright.

No it's actually a problem with my cervix because i was taking the pill for a long time.

But anyway, yeah we have a strong attraction and we already waited about a month before we did anything so I kinda feel like it's a lot to ask of a new partner. I'll talk to him about it when I see him tomorrow.

For me the concern is making it clear that I understand if he wants to look elsewhere if it's sex he's after. But I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him away either. It's hard to know what to do, it's a new situation.

Posted by Sola
For me the concern is making it clear that I understand if he wants to look elsewhere if it's sex he's after. But I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him away either. It's hard to know what to do, it's a new situation.

By giving him that option of satisfying his needs with someone elses, someone who isn't you, you are sending the message that he isn't that important to you since you are letting him go...even encouraging him to move on.

He has already told you he isn't interested in anyone else. So accept his words and let him prove it in the next month and a half.

If a medical issue and a month without sex

is too grueling for him, may I suggest that

you're fortunate that you dodged a bullet?

It's much worse than that Montgomery. We met in July, so not having "real" sex until like, October is tough. I genuinely feel like it's a massive deal. But if he stays around i'll know i'm onto a keeper.

Maybe it's coming across that way. It's not the sex part, it's the communicating about it. I mean we are just happily going along, and now it just kind of feels like the elephant in the room. We haven't even spoken about where we are with each other, are we together, officially dating, still too early to tell etc. It's just annoying, and obviously it occupies much more space in my head than his.

I am focused on me..that's why i've been to the doctor and the surgeon

Yeah, its true that in my mind i'm always rushing too far ahead! Like I said, we've just been going slow and steady, feeling our way along rather than talking about it, because for me especially it can make things feel forced. I realllllyyyyyyyyy like him, and I think he likes me too.

Yeah, we have spoken about all those things 🙂 It's a nice friendly vibe that's going on.

Thanks for giving me some perspective..it has settled my thoughts! I'll just let things develop in their own time.

In the end we didn't meet up last night, so I haven't had a chance to tell him about my appointment date or the procedure/recovery time.

I stopped worrying about it, I can't change anything so he can make his own decisions about it.